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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

The Story you KNEW was coming! (No not another ridiculously short one)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Darth_Servo, Mar 21, 2000.

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  1. Azeem

    Azeem TFN Staff, Manager Emeritus star 4 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 12, 1999
    The Shoe Review is a nice site. But considering the amount of code involved, the Theater will still be a work in progress, even after it is released later today.

    But if you can, please send Eric a note about the look of the new THEATER. I personally think it is absolutely fantastic and long overdue here at TFN.

    Azeem
    TFN Theater
     
  2. sh4rk

    sh4rk Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2000
    I have to say, I got a sneak peek at the front page of the new TFN Theater and it is absolutely gorgeous. I'm sure everyone will love it.

    If Eric is responsible for the look of the new Theater, then he ROCKS! Seriously, the guy is talented.

    -sh4rk
    -------------
    Force Flicks - http://www.forceflicks.com http://www.forceflicks.com
    Got Force? We Do.
     
  3. King Adrock

    King Adrock Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Feb 24, 2000
    This is a cool story, but when do i get in??
     
  4. m0rpheus25

    m0rpheus25 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 11, 2000
    Thanks guys. And I do great Yoda impressions too! LOL!

    [This message has been edited by m0rpheus25 (edited 03-25-2000).]
     
  5. Darth_Servo

    Darth_Servo Jedi Youngling star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 1999
    http://www.geocities.com/darth_servo/servo.jpg
    Thank you everybody! For those of you who aren't in it yet, have patience, if I introduce too many characters too early it cheapens the story. I know exactly how I want to use each one of you.
    epic, you'll be appearing when we get to the Jedi Council
    Jedi-Jade, hi sweetiy! Thanks for the pics! You so cute! You're chaarcter will be emerging as well.
    Talon Squad Leader, your compliment means a lot coming from someone as established as you in the fan fiction! Look for you to show up
    DarthNut, you'll appear later in the story, but you'll be a pretty major character.
    King Adrock, expect to appear on Coruscant later on.

     
  6. Tara Skywalker

    Tara Skywalker Jedi Master

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 1999
    What a remarkably strange... but ultimately BRILLIANT idea! I'm not sure about you includin' me...
    I've kinda made myself a character of my own in a personal fan fic, but do what you will. One statement please, Jedi. Not Sith. Good not Bad, understood? Thanx.

    I'll tell ya one thing... someone's DEFINITELY going to steal your idea and do another of these. Keep making sure yours is the best... as is proven already. Keep writing and i'll c ya soon!
     
  7. Darth_Servo

    Darth_Servo Jedi Youngling star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 1999
    http://www.geocities.com/darth_servo/servo.jpg
    Thank you Tara!
    lol I know Sith are bad. I actually made a joke about that in that last part! "Doesn't Darth mean Sith? Aren't Sith bad?" "Don't worry about it!"
    Fear not! I'm working on part 4 right now on my writing pad. I know basically what I want, I just have to organize it! Plus, today was my sister's birthday. Look for the next part tomorrow
     
  8. light_sabe_r

    light_sabe_r Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2000
    If you want, you can use me Darth_Servo.

    @SABE*:):::::::::::::::::
     
  9. Mistress Sudafed

    Mistress Sudafed Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2000
    Ooh ooh, can you use me? I only post in this Fan fic forum, and mostly in my own thread, TheSeamy Lives of Luke and Darth(AU)[also shameless promo] but you can get a REALLY good idea of me from that!!!Thank you tongue.gif
     
  10. Darth_Servo

    Darth_Servo Jedi Youngling star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 1999
    http://www.geocities.com/darth_servo/servo.jpg
    np problem guys. Like I said, I'm trying to use as many familiar faces from around the boards.
     
  11. Darth_Servo

    Darth_Servo Jedi Youngling star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 1999
    http://www.geocities.com/darth_servo/servo.jpg

    I'm tired, so I can only hope that this part turns out somewhat coherant. Dismiss spelling errors and story mishaps if they occure. I caught a few but I know I missed at least a few. Anyway, this part is kinda topsy turvy. I bring in three new characters and switch back and forth a lot. But this is also where the action picks up. Just try to hang in there tongue.gif
    __________________________________________

    Darth_Servo, Big Bad Yoda Daddy, and Rachel exited the cramped and dusty alley and entered the crowded and dusty streets of Mos Eisley. "Where is your ship docked, Rachel?" Darth_Servo asked as they made their way through the avenues of the Spaceport.
    "Docking Bay 11."
    "Ours is in 38. Not really close by are we?" Darth_Servo mused.
    They hurried on their way and tried to look inconspicuos as any one of the denzens they passed could be a probable spy. Each second they remain on planet was one second less they had until trouble caught up. So far none had but that did not mean it wouldn't. Little did they know, that trouble had in fact already caught up, and was waiting for them in Docking Bay 11.

    * * *

    When they entered the mid-sized docking bay two ladies in form-fitting grey tunics were awaiting Rachel. They were grimy with dust and oil and looked rather hot and sweaty from being on this forsaken desert planet. Somehow though, they still remained quite easy on the eyes. This did not bother Big Bad Yoda Daddy in the least.
    Rachel went up to one with dark brown hair, and a tool belt and asked, "Is everything ok with the ship?"
    "We don't know," the brown haired lady answered, "We haven't been here for more than five minutes."
    The other lady, this one with light brown hair and a blaster holster (complete with blaster) nodded towards the two Jedi, "Are these your new friends?"
    Rachel smiled, "Yes, may I prsent Jedi Knight Darth_Servo and his apprentice Big Bad Yoda Daddy."
    Both Jedi bowed in greeting.
    The lady with the tool belt walked up to them and smiled in greeting, "Jedi? My, what an honor! I'm Jedi-Jade." She then walked right up to Darth_Servo and looked him straight in the eye, "I've never met a real Jedi Knight before! This should be interesting."
    Against his usual ways, Darth_Servo found himself blushing. He immediately cleared his throat and glanced over at Big Bad yoda Daddy, "Well, if you've never met a Jedi Knight, I'm assuming you haven't met a Padawan either."
    Jedi-Jade looked at Bigi Bad Yoda Daddy and smiled politely, "Charmed."
    Big Bad Yoda Daddy, in his usual ways, grinned like an idiot. At this point the other woman, the one toting the blaster, came up to them. Jedi-Jade politely moved to the side so that she was standing next to Darth_Servo. The blaster lady extended a hand which Darth_Servo took. She had a powerful grip. . . "I'm Alderaan21," she said, shaking his hand, "I must say I'm impressed! I've heard many good things about Jedi Knights!"
    Darth_Servo chuckled slightly, "Well I certainly hope so!"
    Big Bad Yoda Daddy chirped in, "Have you heard any good things about Padawans?"
    Alderaan21 shook her head, "No, I'm sorry."
    Big Bad Yoda Daddy kicked at the sand beneath his feet. Darth_Servo then looked again at Jedi-Jade. "Jedi-Jade, that's a very unique name. May I asked where it originated from?"
    "Of course. My real name is Jennifer Jade, but I change it to Jedi-Jade for secret operations," she paused for a bit the went on, "I've always been a big fan of the Jedi. . " she smiled a smile that wasn't completely innocent.
    Darth_Servo again cleared his throat even though it wasn't blocked. "Well, he said, I see that you three will be ok, so me and Big Bad Yoda Daddy will be on our way!" he nodded at all three of the ladies, "I'll see you upstairs." With that, Darth_Servo and Big Bad Yoda Daddy left the hanger.
    Rachel watched them go. She thought momentarily about them. Darth_Servo with his mysterious brown eyes and clean cut hair. He wasn't tall, but not really short. He had a most
     
  12. Jedi-Jade

    Jedi-Jade Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 1999
    I LOVE it! Keep up the good work!
     
  13. Darth_Servo

    Darth_Servo Jedi Youngling star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 1999
    http://www.geocities.com/darth_servo/servo.jpg
    Thank you Jade! At least I have one continuous supporter
     
  14. light_sabe_r

    light_sabe_r Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2000
    I'm STILL here and enjoying every letter of it.

    Keep it up!
     
  15. Darth_Servo

    Darth_Servo Jedi Youngling star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 1999
    http://www.geocities.com/darth_servo/servo.jpg
    *phew*
    Good! Before I go on (a good action sequence is coming up but no spoilers other than that) I'd like to know what you guys like about it.
    <UL TYPE=SQUARE>
    <LI>Were there any parts that stick out in your mind?
    <LI>Any parts that made you laugh?
    <LI>How does it compare to the main stream fan fics found here?
    <LI>What do you think will happen next?
    <LI>Besides yourself, what would you like to see?
    <LI>If I were to use made up characters with made up names, would the story still be as good?
    </UL>

    Thanks for the support! MTLBWY (May the Lucas be with you!)

    [This message has been edited by Darth_Servo (edited 03-28-2000).]
     
  16. Jedi-Jade

    Jedi-Jade Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 1999
    I like it the most because YOU wrote it Darth Servo!
     
  17. light_sabe_r

    light_sabe_r Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2000
    Most of all I like the Lucas, &lt;LOL&gt; Big Bad Yoda Daddy "I'm a swinging green muppet"...

    If you're stuck for ideas, you could put a group of Obi-torturers in, (like Jawas looking for more ways to torture him) I know quite a few people to put on that list.

     
  18. Darth_Servo

    Darth_Servo Jedi Youngling star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 1999
    http://www.geocities.com/darth_Servo/servo.jpg
    You're such a flirt Jedi-Jade
    (not that that's a bad[/b] thing mind you lol)
    I'm afraid I can't take credit for the 'swingin' green muppet part'.
    That's simply the signature Big Bad Yoda Daddy uses in his posts tongue.gif
     
  19. Darth_Servo

    Darth_Servo Jedi Youngling star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 1999
    http://www.geocities.com/darth_servo/servo.jpg
    Uhhhhhhh loyal readers. . . feel free to post. . . if you don't, this'll sink into oblivion
     
  20. epic

    epic Ex Mod star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 1999
    I'm still here, dewd. Still awaiting my appearance. tongue.gif
     
  21. Darth_Servo

    Darth_Servo Jedi Youngling star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 1999
    http://www.geocities.com/darth_servo/servo.jpg
    More to come tonight Have faith gentle readers.
     
  22. Darth_Servo

    Darth_Servo Jedi Youngling star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 1999
    Ok, here we go!
    _______________________________________

    The rythmic pounding of the shuttle continued. The force of each blow was getting stronger each time. The sheer power of the force couldn't have been possible by meer organic creatures. At least, not any organic creatures with a basic bone structure. Whatever those things were, they were not organic, or if they were, they were not normal.
    Rachel's mind was racing. If those creatures could sustain the force of impact that they were giving to the shuttle, they could no doubt survive the blast of blasters. She doubted very highly if they could negotiate. The ship was lame, the systes were not responding, and the pounding was increasing. Each impact sounded like thunder in the shuttle's cabin. They would breach the hull in no time.
    "What are we going to do?"
    Alderaan21's voice shook Rachel from her thoughts, "What?"
    "I said what are we going to do?"
    Rachel closed her eyes and rested her head in her hands, "I don't know," she confessed.
    There was one partucularly strong blast that came from just outside the exit hatch. The hatch fell inward and the pounding on the ship stopped.
    Rachel, Alderaan21, and Jedi-Jade all geld their breath as footsteps were heard mounting the loading ramp. Even though it was futile, Alderaan21 brandished her blaster and unwaveringly pointed it towards the direction of the ramp. Futile attempt or not, she would not go down without a fight.
    A shadow could be seen against the wall of the corridor leading to the cabin. Alderaan21 held her blaster steady, Rachel braced herself for anything that might come around the corner, and Jedi-Jade moved into a crouching posistion, ready to pounce like a cat on their unwelcomed visitor.
    The source of the shadow came into veiw, it was one of the hoods. One of the. . . creatures. It's face was still hidden and it was brandishing a blaster.
    In the space of a heartbeat Jedi-Jade flew at the hood. In one lightning quick move, the hood swung it's arm and knocked Jedi-Jade to the deck. During the momentary divertion Alderaan21 shot her blaster at the hood hitting it square in the side. It budged a millimeter then shot it's blaster at Alderaan21. The blast disintegrated her blaster. Without losing a beat, the hood turned towards Rachel and said in an erie voice, "Don't move!"
    Rachel sank into one of the shutle's chairs. Whatever that thing was, it was quick, it was skilled, and it was powerful. It was not to be underestimated. "Who are you?" She asked, her voice sounding as though her life was being drained out of her.
    "Who I am is unimportant. What I'm doing here is," It motioned for the three women to follow it, "Follow me."
    Jedi-Jade picked herself up off the deck. The force of the swing had knocked the breath out of her. But now she had regained it, and was glaring at the hood, "What if we choose not to go?"
    The hood looked down at the firey-eyed girl, "Then we will execute you here. I would prefer it be done outside, but it can be taken care of in here."
    Jedi-Jade looked at Alderaan21 who loked at Rachel. Rachel solemly nodded her head. They would go. If they were stubborn and insisted on staying then they would be executed on the spot. But if they agreed to go outside, it would buy them at least a little time. Without saying a word the three women allowed themselves to be led outdside by the hood.
    If things looked bad in the shuttle, they looked positively hopeless outside. Thirty hoods were arranged in a half circle around the shuttle. Each one held a blaster aimed at the trio. It was over.
    Rachel looked at Alderaan21 and Jedi-Jade. Their expressions were neutral but she knew the tempest that was raging through their heads. She had known the girls for more than 10 years. Over that time they had become close friends. She laughed silently, of course they had become close friends.
    She thought of the first time they had met. It was at the Academy. They had a class together and had sat next to each other. Everyday they would talk, and joke, and question everythi
     
  23. Tellesto

    Tellesto Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 7, 1999
    hey servo looks great!
    I'll even keep reading it after my illustrius apearance!
     
  24. Darth_Servo

    Darth_Servo Jedi Youngling star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 1999
    http://www.geocities.com/darth_servo/servo.jpg
    The big ones are coming up by the way.
    That means you epic.
    But I gotta take a break. That last chapter burned me out. That's why it got sloppy at the end.
     
  25. Big Bad Yoda Daddy

    Big Bad Yoda Daddy Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 8, 2000
    http://fan.starwars.com/dagobahonline/files/yodasig2.jpg Darth_Servo I love it! I'm not a fanfic reader by nature, but the idea is awesome. Couple things about the lightsabers though. Number one, if you've still got time to change it, mine is purple. I don't blame you for not knowing, very few people have ever asked, and I honestly don't care if you change it or not, but I figured I'd let you in since you're doing all the work. Second, if you decide to have your character killed at the end by a martial arts sith lord, do I get your lightsaber? rolleyes.gif Seriously though, I love the idea, and believe it or not, I the plot's great too! Keep it up master!

    -Big Bad Yoda Daddy, the swingin' green muppet
     
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