The Strength Inside of Me (Obi-Wan Kenobi) Intertriology. Slight AU FINISHED!

hmmm, hope he has a 2x4 to get buckethead's attention if he plans on getting through all the preconceptions and denials quigon usually surrounds himself with. talk about a severe case of point of view. love the calmness of Ben when he must be feeling so much.

 

And let the fun begin...LOL!!

Cant wait to read more keep up the good work..

PT

 

"Truth."
Indeed, young Obi Wan, indeed.
Excellent posts!

 

Poor Ben, still wanting confirmation of his Master's love for him after all this time. What an ending!!! Can't wait to see how Qui-Gon is going to react to the truth!

 

"Truth?" Obi-Wan's Master asked, the anger Obi-Wan had sensed him diminishing.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ben stiffen. "No," Obi-Wan's future self forbide.

"You must trust him because I do now," Obi-Wan countered. They were the same person, trust didn't leave over time, did it?

"He can't possibly understand," Ben returned.

"Understand what?" Qui-Gon asked, surprisingly under control as though he was already on the verge of discovery.

Obi-Wan ignored the question however, focusing on Ben. "You need healing, just as he did. He can help you in ways that I cannot."

"I don't need anybody's help," Ben refutted. "You must think of the reprecussions."

"Ben I know there was something you were watching over on Tatooine. I am thinking of the reprecussions. You don't want to fail, but if you keep up with this attitude against the nature of the Force it will destroy you," Obi-Wan said. He had been keeping these things from Ben. There was a greatness to his older self, something that Obi-Wan was relieved to one day to carry but the sorrow of their renegade apprentice was going to ruin Ben even in his stoicism.

Ben's face registered surprise at Obi-Wan's perceptive observation. "I will leave the choice up to you Obi-Wan, but it will not change things for the better. I am damned for my part."

I will be damned Obi-Wan thought saddly, but he redirected is thoughts. No he can be changed, I can be changed, the future can be changed.

Qui-Gon came to stand right between the two Kenobi's. "Padawan, please tell me what's going on?"

"Master you wanted to know when we arrived, where I had been and why I hadn't made contact?" Obi-Wan asked leadingly.

Qui-Gon nodded, briefly turning back to Ben to gauge his response before coming back to center on his Padawan. "And I remember your answers being quite vague."

"Because at the time, I was unsure how to act. What I'm about to tell you is completely the will of the Force and yet increidbly difficult to believe," Obi-Wan answered.

Qui-Gon's features were almost pleading now. "Obi-Wan where were you? And why do you think I need to heal this man?" He pointed at Ben.

"Because Master, this man, that you know as Ben Lars, is really a beaten Jedi Knight thirty years from the future," Obi-Wan answered. "The truth is that you thought him a danger to me but he could never hurt me Master, because he is me."

If Obi-Wan had balled up his fist and had smashed it into his Master's chin Qui-Gon wouldn't have staggered any further then he did now. He swung on Ben his startling blue eyes searching every feature of the older man to only come back to the familiar features of his Padawan.

"Obi-Wan this isn't possible," Qui-Gon said, running a hand over his tied back hair. "The Force .... why would it do this?"

Ben had slumped back into his chair, totally dejected with the haunting pain his features. "I told you why Master Jinn," he reminded. "Yes the Force has its own will and it betrays its followers."

Obi-Wan felt the Force build up in Qui-Gon and flood over to Ben, the shock that the truth was being revealed in the sense of Ben's aura. The same sense he would get from Obi-Wan. Himself.

Slowly, hesitantly, as though there was still a part of his mind that couldn't comprehend it, Qui-Gon walked over to Ben and knealt before him. A shaky hand came up to touch the aged features that his Padawan would one day don.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon whispered, "is it really you?"

A breath escaped out of Ben that Obi-Wan suspected was close to a sob but was so contained like the rest of his future self that it did not come any further. "Obi-Wan was what I was, I don't know what I am now."

Obi-Wan was surprised to see the gentleness reflected in his Master's eyes towards his future self. "What's on Tatooine, Ben?" Qui-Gon asked.

"The new hope for the future."

 

That . . . wow.

Make that, . I can't wait to see what happens next. Will Qui-Gon help heal Ben? Your title thingie still says 'slight AU', so . . . will things go as they did, and will Anakin turn, and all that?

More, please!

 

I will be damned Obi-Wan thought saddly, but he redirected is thoughts. No he can be changed, I can be changed, the future can be changed - That is such a sad line. Now Qui-Gon knows will they tell him the rest, the role he plays in it all? If so would this make him change his actions when the time comes? If the future hasn't yet changed Luke will still need watching over but will Ben be able to get back?

 

::cheers:: You go, Obi-Wan! He seems so wise -- he really holds his own against Qui and Ben. I enjoy the chemistry you're making between the three of them. It's nice to see Qui backing off and showing some tenderness towards "Ben." One can only hope that Jinn can help Ben heal.

 

Qui-Gon took it rather well.

 

Wonderful, Zara!! Aboslutely wonderful!!

This fic just keeps getting better and better. Ben has been through so much, lost so much, dealt with too much pain and heartache, that it would be hard not to callus himself to keep from any more.

More soon? PLease. I'm begging here.

 

awwww, so wonderfully done.

 

obaona
That . . . wow.

Make that, . I can't wait to see what happens next. Will Qui-Gon help heal Ben? Your title thingie still says 'slight AU', so . . . will things go as they did, and will Anakin turn, and all that?

More, please!

There will be a slight difference to make it AU but it will basically remain the same.

Sabe126

I will be damned Obi-Wan thought saddly, but he redirected is thoughts. No he can be changed, I can be changed, the future can be changed - That is such a sad line. Now Qui-Gon knows will they tell him the rest, the role he plays in it all? If so would this make him change his actions when the time comes? If the future hasn't yet changed Luke will still need watching over but will Ben
be able to get back?

Well at this point only Ben knows everything, Obi-Wan is still very much in the dark about a lot of things. All he knows is that he will have an apprentice that will betray him and that he will be resonsible for the mechanical emplacements Vader now dons. For Qui-Gon's part he has a special task to attend to.

Lurkalidth
::cheers:: You go, Obi-Wan! He seems so wise -- he really holds his own against Qui and Ben. I enjoy the chemistry you're making between the three of them. It's nice to see Qui backing off and showing some tenderness towards "Ben." One can only hope that Jinn can help Ben heal.

Thanks Luralidth. I always thought that there was a certain wisdom in youth. Obi-Wan will bypass a lot of the usual Jedi refrain. He sees a problem and he's going to tackle it, sometimes recklessly. Qui and Ben are a little more subdued they're going to test each other, test they're footing but in the end they're just hurting each other more.

TorontoJediMaster

Qui-Gon took it rather well.

Yeah, I didn't think that he would go crazy after he could feel that Ben and Obi-Wan were indeed the same person. Jedi, in my perceptions, are supposed to be able to adapt to new experiences. Qui would take it in and move on.

Arldetta

Wonderful, Zara!! Aboslutely wonderful!!

This fic just keeps getting better and better. Ben has been through so much, lost so much, dealt with too much pain and heartache, that it would be hard not to callus himself to keep from any more.

More soon? PLease. I'm begging here.

Yes, Ben has bene through a whole lot, things that Obi-Wan has yet to endure and will soon have to. From ANH it seemed to me that Ben wasn't a very open many, sure he talked to Luke but it wasn't here's my life so yeah he's built a skin of protection over him.

PaddyJuan[/b

awwww, so wonderfully done.

Thanks Paddy.

 

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Qui-Gon had a hard time falling asleep that night. He kept hearing Obi-Wan saying that he had to help heal the thirty year older version of himself. And there was no escaping that the older version of Obi-Wan needed that help. He could feel the pain that radiated from his apprentice?....former apprentice? He didn't know how to think of the man who was very close to his own age and who's power astounded him.

He recalled the cool, confident, maddeningly unreadable man he had first encountered. Even then he had felt something familiar for Ben Lars and he remembered the feel of accusation radiate from Ben. Would he leave Obi-Wan in the wake of another apprentice? One that was believed to be the 'Chosen One'? For some reason he couldn't believe it although from Obi-Wan's future self came the truth. He adored Obi-Wan and relished the relationship they had, despite the canyons that came ever so often.

To Qui-Gon the fact that Obi-Wan didn't always agree with him, made their relationship more real. Xanatos had mimicked his every move until that one terrible mission where it all had fallen apart. He would never lie and say he hadn't loved Xanatos, there was a certain affection that was inherit in a Master and Apprentice bond, but with Obi-Wan he had always felt safe, frighteningly safe.

It was more a fear for the boy then himself, as though he was leading Obi-Wan a continual path to sorrow. Now that feeling had been validated.

Giving up on finding any semblance of peace, Qui-Gon levered himself out of his bed, flung on his robe, and walked into the main room. He had expected to find the older Obi-Wan lying on the couch, his breath stuck in his chest when he didn't.

The panic was brief however, as he stretched out with his feelings and caught the double resonance that he still found impossible to get used to coming from Obi-Wan's room. Quietly passing over to the door he cracked it open without disturbing the one waking and the other sleeping occupants. Ben was in a chair obviously in some sort of meditation while he kept one eye on Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon could see the struggle to find the calmness that the younger Obi-Wan was beginning to Master. He felt a pang in his heart as he watched the internal war that Ben was waging with himself. Several times those aged azure eyes came to rest on the face reposed in sleep, searching it for something that Qui-Gon could not define.

Qui-Gon couldn't stand the pain he saw there, so he to switched to study the young man. His Padawan, who could sleep through an asteriod storm, did not seem to even register the two beings watching him. He knew that it was something he would have to work on, Obi-Wan dropping his guard inside the Temple. Even your home could represent a danger if you do not remain wary. And yet when he saw the jaded glance in the older Kenobi he couldn't help but want Obi-Wan to keep this little innocence.

"Did I wake you Master Qui-Gon?" Ben asked as his eyes settled on Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon shook his head. "No, Obi...Ben," Qui-Gon said, unable to decide how to address this Obi-Wan. He couldn't very well call him Padawan.

"Ben's fine," the older Kenobi said, stepping out of the chair coming to join Qui-Gon. But he paused just as the foot of Obi-Wan's bed. "It's funny, but I feel like a father watching his son. Except I know everything he will face, everything that he will become, and I want to stop it more then anything." He studied Qui-Gon. "Why else would the Force bring us together?"

Qui-Gon shrugged, hearing the deparation in the man who was his apprentice. "The Force doesn't always make it's will known. We cannot always discern it's meanings you see that it's a chance to change the future but perhaps there is another reason."

"What could there possibly be?" Ben asked, incredulous.

"Why do you study his face, as if searching for the answers of the universe in it?" Qui-Gon questioned pointedly, gesturing at his sleeping apprentice.

Ben's hand came up to touch his own face. "There's a strength inside of him

 

Great post.

So, I guess that now they've decided that they're going to try and alter the future?

Why doesn't Ben just tell them about Palpatine? He's the true threat to the Jedi and the Republic.

 

The title comes into play! Nice post.

 

A lot for Qui-Gon to deal with but he seems to be doing quite well. It seems that Ben will not get any peace unless they change the future.

Looking forward to the next instalment!

 

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Ben was being lead on a literal journey through his past. Every inch of the Jedi Temple was just the way he remembered it or the way he choose to remember it. Full of life, serenity, and peace. Not the vision of angry red destruction that had clouded his dreams for so long.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had lead him into the waterfall room and Ben felt his heart catch in his chest at the large pool where one of the Jedi Knights was teaching his Padawan to swim.

Obi-Wan Kenobi stepped into the larging pool inside the room of a thousand fountains. He walked down the stairs until the water reached his waist then turned to his new Padawan. Anakin, who had lived on a desert world for the better part of his life, up until Qui-Gon Jinn had rescued him from slavery, looked at the water with some trepidation.

"I've never seen so much water in my life," the little nine-year-old muttered, swallowing to hide the fear of the unknown.

Obi-Wan was proud of the attempt but knew he had to be firm. "Come on, Padawan. I promise nothing bad will happen."

The hesitance was still there, to Anakin this was a gross misuse of such a precious commodity, but Obi-Wan would have to recondition him. It would be incredibly difficult on a mission if he had to avoid every large body of water.

"You're sure the Council won't get angry?" Anakin asked.

Since his first encounter with the Council, Anakin had worried about displeasing them, something Obi-Wan could very well understand. To be a Jedi took a certain level of discipline and it was the Council that decided what that level was. Obi-Wan would have walked through fire if that had been the test to gain his knighthood, however, his test had been far worse, a test he would gladly would have abandoned never to be a Jedi Knight.

"I'm sure," Obi-Wan answered and held out a hand to little boy.

The fear was squashed and Anakin clasped fingers around Obi-Wan's hand, again Obi-Wan was proud of that the grip was not squeezing but allowed him to guide his protege into the pond.

Involuntarily, Anakin gasped as the water floated around him and it nearly reached his neck. "I don't know about this, Master."

Obi-Wan quirked a smile. "You fly at a thousand kilometers through craggy rock, are you going to tell me your afraid of a little water?"

"No, way," Anakin said, giggling.

Obi-Wan was glad that he'd been able to distract Anakin from his fear. It had seemed strange to him at first, a child with an uncontrollable fea. But he had remembered himself at that age, full of anger and fear. If he could learn to temper it certainly Anakin could.

He reached under Anakin's armpits and drew him further into the water. The boy shivered under his hands, Anakin had still yet to fully adapt to the climate difference. Obi-Wan nearly sweat to death every night but with each passing day the temperature came down a notch.

"Now I'm going to teach you how to float first," Obi-Wan instructed, bringing one of his hands to Anakin's back so he could lever the boy across the water. "Now don't be afraid."

---

Ben blinked, his aged hand trailing through the water, it rippling as he moved through it. He didn't know how he had come to be next to the pool, couldn't remember moving, but for a long moment he was trapped in the memory.

"This is where I taught Ana..." He trailed off. He hadn't spoken that name outloud in so many years that it had almost become an instinct.

"Ana?" Qui-Gon asked.

Ben jerked his hand out of the pool and quickly wiped it on his robe. "Just a friend of mine, that I taught how to swim."

Why not tell him? Ben asked himself. Why not let the future rest on his shoulders? Yet even as he tried to form the words, to explain what would destroy the Jedi, that rippling in the water appeared in his head. Every choice has an effect.

 

I love this thoughtful story!

 

It must be difficult for Ben to be back, knowing that bloodshed and destruction is coming. A very poignant memory of Anakin. So he has realised that if he does let the decision rest with Qui-Gon it will effect everything.

 

the memories must be almost overwhelming overlaid with the death and destruction he saw there also.

 

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"Did you see him?" Obi-Wan exclaimed as soon as he and Qui-Gon entered their quarters. Ben had gone off to the area the Council had secured for him, clearly shaken. For the first time since meeting his future self, Obi-Wan felt fear clench the breath in his lungs.

"Did you see me," he said in a whisper as he collapsed in his favorite chair. "His eyes...I know who his friend is. I know what became of him. I know what will become of me."

Qui-Gon knealt in front of his protege, clearly distressed at his Padawan's attitude. "No, Obi-Wan," he denied, desparately. "The future is not fixed. We will change this."

Qui-Gon's heart nearly stopped at the desolation in Obi-Wan's eyes, the desolation he saw in Ben's. How did I miss that they were one in the same?[ he asked himself. "My future is, Master."

Shaking his head, Qui-Gon refused to give in. "Ben said that he thought of you as his strength. You can't give in now Obi-Wan, he needs you."

"I can't, Master," Obi-Wan said in such a small voice. "I've denied it till my face turned blue, I've even met the future and still denied it, but this...this can't be stopped."

"Why?" Qui-Gon nearly yelled.

Obi-Wan swallowed ran a hand through his evenly shaved hair. "Because you see him as my future, but I am his past. Master Yaddle once told me that if we had no past we had no responsiblity, I would never rob him of that. Without responsiblity there is no freedom."

Qui-Gon rocked back on his heals, the wisdom Obi-Wan had just delivered might as well have been through his future self. Was Obi-Wan losing himself not only in the desperation that Ben embodied but in Ben himself? Could two beings, one in the same co-exist without one sucking in the other? And was Obi-Wan strong enough to withhold the change?

"Too much knowledge, too soon, can be dangerous," Qui-Gon said, calming himself by speaking in a soothing tone. "But you can handle this Obi-Wan, I know you can."

"I'm afraid," Obi-Wan admitted.

Qui-Gon swallowed. There were only a few times since Obi-Wan's apprenticeship that the boy had admitted such a weakness, Qui-Gon had never been comfortable with it, for it made him afraid as well.

"Fear is an alert system, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, relying on his own instruction to guide Obi-Wan. "If we did not feel, then we would be no more then droids, it is feeling that makes us alive."

"Master, will you make me a promise?" Obi-Wan asked. "Will you promise not to leave?"

Where is this coming from? Qui-Gon thought. "I'm not going anywhere. The only time we will part is when you have reached your Knighthood. Even then Obi-Wan, I'll always be with you."

Obi-Wan thought about this, his lips pressed so tightly together that Qui-Gon could not even see them. Slowly he nodded, "I understand, Master."

There was something more there, did it have to do with Ben's strange questioning about the 'Chosen One' when they had first met? Would he abandon Obi-Wan?

It seemed impossible. How could he abandon his most precious companion? His proverbial son. It just wasn't possible.

But what if you thought he were ready? Ben had asked.

 

Upping.