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Clone Wars The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread

Discussion in 'Star Wars TV' started by koonfan, May 26, 2009.

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  1. koonfan

    koonfan Jedi Knight star 4

    Oct 15, 2008
    Well, it's technically stuff we'll likely never see, as lines that would never be delivered. I ventured there with my list of 'last words'. :p

    Yaaay! We've got classics! We've done good, kualan! :D
    Glad people seem to be liking this thread...probably one of my few show-independent threads that lasted long without the need for new materials. Once Plo Koon gets in a season 2 appearance, though, I'm bringing his thread back with a vengeance. :p

    For more stuff we likely won't see...
    -A Hutt tells his servants something to the effect of 'I could use the exercise'
    -A 'Holonet' website once had the headline "Local man ruins EVERYTHING". Imagine if we finally found out what happened. [face_laugh]
    -Simon the Killer Ewok appears as part of Cad Bane's posse
    -Coruscant high society hires an unlikely musical group for a gala event....the Max Rebo Band
    -The song Jedi Rocks from the special edition of ROTJ originated from undercover Jedi Knights busting a groove
    -Count Dooku informs his learners that criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot
    -Kit Fisto's ginormous anime-sized eyes get multiple dust specks in them (MAH EYES! MAH BEAUTIFUL EYES, MON!)
    -Zabrak characters go for a manicure and have their horns done
    -Despite rampant marketing and being hyped up, the bounty hunter 'team' only lasts for a single episode before they are torn apart by in-fighting, backstabbing and greed (They won't do that in just one episode...right? :p)
    -General Grievous is forced by Count Dooku into a PR stunt for the Confederacy wherein he sings the Star Wars equivalent of 'Modern Major General'
    -Cad Bane is pursued by major characters in a Republic-controlled area, but escapes by alerting the public to their presence and slipping away while they're hounded by their fanboys
    -An entire episode is transcribed from an improv session by Greg Proops and his old Whose Line Is It Anyway buddies, and the rest of the episode is animated around what they make up

    And some lines I figure we won't see...
    Plo Koon: Is it so hard to believe that I had a romantic interest once? What, did you think that Kel Dorians reproduce asexually? Like we're some kind of giant amoeba?

    Ahsoka: I made a mistake! Is that so hard to believe? (gives a knowing look at the audience)

    Rex: (next to another Clone character) You know the difference between you and me? I make this look good. :cool:

    Mace Windu: Y'know, maybe I am too tightly wound. I mean, why do you think I went bald?

    Palpatine: Well, krif. That didn't go as planned at all.
    Dooku: Come again, master?
    Palpatine: Eh, I mean...Yeeeesss, all according to plan, a step closer to the fall of the Jedi!

    Holonet: Welcome to the Holonet News Network! Joining us tonight are Koon Fan, Grywry Warthsarth, Deebray Nan'Thris, Ku-Al-An! I'm your host, Marth Gaul! (:p)

    Count Dooku: General. Ventress. I am afraid we're letting you go. It's more cost-effective to use tactical droids and bounty hunters.
    Grievous: But we provide countless victories against lesser-skilled opponents! We've taken planets! Natural resources! Governments!
    Dooku: Do you honestly think our audience cares about all that?
    Ventress: What? Audience?
    Dooku: Lord Sidious, I mean. He's our audience.
  2. Ludo_Kressh

    Ludo_Kressh Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 30, 2005
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] =D= and Rendar's was funny too even if it isn't technically CW material.:p

    -Cad Bane is pursued by major characters in a Republic-controlled area, but escapes by alerting the public to their presence and slipping away while they're hounded by their fanboys

    But in turn, he is also hounded by his and the GFFA turns into one big intergalactic SW convention..
  3. Kualan

    Kualan Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 4, 2008
    Haha, whey! XD

    Love it, :p

    Some more!

    - We finally get to see Hutts heading for a huge epic battle...only to be taken out at the last second by Republic gunships dropping large amounts of salt onto them.
    - The Jedi approach Jabba the Hutt for assistance in tracking the movements of Cad Bane and his posse, only to be met with the response, "So, you come to ask a favour of me on this, the day of my daughter's wedding..."
    - Cad Bane tells someone to "Go ahead, make my day."
    - The E.T senators from Episode I make an appearance in which they acquire reinforcements for the Republic by 'phoning home'.
    - Kit Fisto is sent to defend Mustafar's twin planet Rastafar, and meets the local population.
    - Wat Tambor opens the Ark of the Covenant (you can see his droids loading it onto his shuttle in Liberty on Ryloth ;) ) at a Separatist Council meeting.
    - Gran Senator Kharrus comes back from the dead to gain revenge on Jar Jar Binks...only to die once more in the first scene in which he appears.
    - Plo Koon finds out that he doesn't have to wear a mask whilst on Coruscant and other oxygen-rich planets; Micah Giett just told him that as a practical joke that got out of hand.
    - Following on from a clip in the trailer, when Cad Bane says 'Let's make this a bit more interesting!' and presses a button on his wrist gauntlet, a disco ball falls down from the ceiling and 'Staying Alive' begins to play.
    - In season four, when it is decided that Cad Bane will convert to the Republic's side as some people predict, the TCW team go back and edit the scene in Hostage Crisis to show the Gran Senator shooting first.

  4. Gry Sarth

    Gry Sarth Ex 2x Banhammer Wielding Besalisk Mod star 5

    Jun 24, 1999

    Plus, they edit all of his previous appearances, replacing his guns with comlinks.
  5. Ludo_Kressh

    Ludo_Kressh Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 30, 2005
    And Anakin and Ahsoka spin their lightsabers like they're at a rave while the super battle droids breakdance..
  6. koonfan

    koonfan Jedi Knight star 4

    Oct 15, 2008
    Great stuff, people. [face_laugh]=D=

    Let's see if we can come up with anything else...
    -Kel Dor villain removes his mask to reveal his true identity...but forgets he needs it to survive
    -Asajj Ventress and Obi-Wan Kenobi start a verbal duel and get so caught up in their passion that they throw themselves into each other's arms. :eek:
    -Battle droids create an archive of 'Jedi to avoid', which is to say a list of every Jedi that survives until episode three. As a result, there's a sudden drop of action sequences. :p
    -The return of the Ki-Adi-Mundi/Shaak Ti pairing! (Seriously, watch the old Genndy series, even the commentary jokes about this XD)
    -Bultar Swan is ridiculed about her surname, but takes it in stride knowing she'll survive past episode 3
    -Tactical droid cognitive circuits are misplaced in a normal battle droid, and he points out several tactical errors from an infantry's standpoint, much to the annoyance of his fellow battle droids
    -Jedi play their own version of 'Pong'. One of them fires a single blaster shot, and they play Pong with it using their lightsabers
    -Despite his interaction with two impressive Jedi Knights, Jaybo Hood ends up being a lowly, overweight tech-repairman
    -Gha Nackt returns as a prototype cyborg, using his flatulence as a bio-weapon
    -K'Kruhk loses his freakin' sweet hat and is visibly upset, to the confusion of whoever else is present
    -Bored clone engineer invents a Republic Issue Nutrient/Fluid Transfer Headgear, otherwise known to most as a beer-cap
    -Wat Tambor accidentally stumbles upon unlikely radio channels while fiddling with the knobs on his suit. Republic intelligence channels, music programs, variety hour, etc....
    -Count Dooku spars with General Grievous, but the cyborg's brute strength causes Dooku's hip to give out
    -Clones take part in their version of 'my dad is better than yours' by comparing their Jedi Generals
    ("General Skywalker took out two octuptarra droids by himself!"
    "Yeah, well, our general can fight in SPACE! Without a space suit!")

    And more lines we'll never see...
    Rex: (breaking up a fight) Boys, boys, it's not about who's better than's about me being better than the rest of you.

    Asajj Ventress: Look, my dear Obi-Wan, let's face facts. Everytime we meet, it's the same thing. We exchange banter that borders on flirtation, I threaten you, you make a casual remark, and we fight, usually with something helping you to win. Why don't we change things around this time?

    Grievous: I'll get you, Skywalker! And your little Padawan, too!

    Jar Jar: (visibly angry) Mesa gettin' mighty tired of yousa disrespectin' me! Mesa sentient, livin' bein' like yousa, with justa muy muy deservin' to be livin'!

    Nuvo Vindi: Nooo nononononono no no no no no no no no!

    Dooku: So, what is our next step, Lord Sidious?
    Sidious: The same step as always, Dooku. We try to take over the galaxy!

    Anakin: Dude.
    Obi-Wan: Dude.
    Anakin: I love you, bro.
    Obi-Wan: Cheah, I know, bro.

    Cad Bane: Give it up, Grievous. Ah've got just as many fans as you do, ah'm way more resourceful, and ah've been way more successful at fightin' Jedi than you've been in one whole season.

    Tactical Droid: After assessing our tactical situation, I have come to a single, absolute conclusion: We are well and truly @#$%@$#ed.

    Jedi: (to cranky civilian) Don't you have better things to do than point out what you think I should or shouldn't be doing?

    Clone: Javohl, herr Jedi!

    Anakin: Snips, I think you'd enjoy this lesson more if you tried looking for something to LIKE instead of looking for things to HATE.
    Ahsoka: No! No! No! I HATE this lesson, I absolutely HATE it! There's nothing GOOD about it! WHY was it even MADE?! Why can't we learn something that I like?!

    Ki-Adi-Mundi: Don't be fooled by his pretty speeches. That planet's political idealist is nothing more than a petty murderer.
  7. Ludo_Kressh

    Ludo_Kressh Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 30, 2005
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Great stuff, koonfan!

    K'Kruhk loses his freakin' sweet hat and is visibly upset, to the confusion of whoever else is present

    And as a result, he takes on mission after mission to capture Cad Bane and steal his, the jealousy finally overwhelming him....only to learn that it had been on his head the whole time.

    And Aayla Secura and Ahsoka share Jedi fashion tips....and compare their headtails.

    Anakin and Padme go to a marriage counselor, only to end up engaging in 'hostile negoiations'
  8. XCell

    XCell Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 7, 2004
    -An episode where Ziro is stuck in a ship with the heroes. They're being attacked. Ziro acts airsick and bothered, and snaps at the clones and Jedi while they're trying to avoid being destroyed. They tell him to shut up or they'll kick his fat hide off. Ziro panics and starts to cry dramatically, and reveals he's with huttlet. While they're crashing down, Ziro gives birth to some healthy huttlet babies, delivered by, who else, Padme.
  9. Bly

    Bly Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 28, 2005
    *An episode about Commander Bly's unrequited love for Aayla Secura.

    *A clone commander meeting on Coruscant, featuring Cody, Thire, Bly, Wolffe complaining about the flaws of their Jedi generals. Also should feature the series debut of Commander Appo, who should spend the entire ep complaining about how he never sees any action.

    *The return of Echo and Fives, who promptly find themselves having trouble fitting in with the rest of the 501st.

    *Obi-Wan makes a move on Ventress, much to her dismay.
  10. ILuvJarJar

    ILuvJarJar Jedi Knight star 6

    Oct 19, 2008
    Plus, they edit all of his previous appearances, replacing his guns with comlinks.[/quote]

    LMFAO! [face_laugh]
  11. Gry Sarth

    Gry Sarth Ex 2x Banhammer Wielding Besalisk Mod star 5

    Jun 24, 1999
    Finally someone gets my joke!

    Better late than never. ;)
  12. koonfan

    koonfan Jedi Knight star 4

    Oct 15, 2008
    Well, here we are again, raising this abomination from inactivity. XD
    I'd like to thank everyone for supporting this thread, though! So without further ado...

    More stuff we'll never see...
    -A character with gorgeously animated hair combs his/her hair...and gets stares from the clay-haired cast
    -All the skilled-figher-pilot characters argue over who's the most skilled of this time. Saesee Tiin, Plo Koon, and Anakin thin out the herd, only for Kit Fisto to join in the conversation unexpectedly.
    -Somebody thinks that Kit Fisto is pretty useless owing to the fact that you seldom see aquatic operations (AQUAMAN!)
    -Kit Fisto puts in a request to be sent to a water-world, but is assigned to Tatooine instead
    -Plo Koon and other senior Jedi go through a mid-life crisis, so they perform feats of arms so daring and reckless it even gets Anakin worried. On the plus side, we see them kick butt!
    -'Mid-life crisis' also includes getting hair pieces, shiny new fighters, and trophy padawans.
    -Aayla Secura wearing the Slave-Leia outfit on-screen
    -A plot revolving around a talking animal, like a Bantha
    -Strip-Sabacc...'nuff said.
    -In the episode where Ahmed Best returns as Jar Jar, other characters point out that his voice has changed.
    -Wilhelm scream effect used on unlikely characters, without alteration. Wookies, Hutts, droids, giant creatures...

    And some lines...
    Ahsoka: What's that, Artooie? Is the fleet stuck in a gravity well?

    Plo Koon: I'm getting too old for this...

    Kit Fisto: Obi-Wan, you should relax! You're so stressed ah can't even ruffle your hair! (attempts to ruffle the clay-hair for effect) See?
    Obi-Wan: (deadpan) Master Fisto, my hair's always been like this.

    Clone: General Mundi, don't you have anything to say about Count Dooku?
    Ki-Adi-Mundi: (briefly shows interest, then restrains himself) ......No.

    General Grievous: (gloating over defeated opponent) YES! I am indeed victorious! Did you think I would lose easily? That you'd find me easy sport?!

    Ziro the Hutt: Ah wonder what mah voice sounds like if ah'd just swallow all these fluids... (gulps) (James Earl Jones voice) Well, this is unexpected.

    Battle droid: Oh, stop that. We're programmed for bloodshed, not comedy.

    Tactical Droid: This is a tactical improbability! This makes no logical sense!
    Jedi: No logical sense...? ......THIS!!! IS!!!! <name of planet>!!!!! (sends droid off cliff)

    Anakin/Ahsoka: I think I'll just leave this one to the experts...

    Commander Wolffe: General, do you have anything to say in this situation?
    Supporting clone: Something typically Jedi-like?
    Plo Koon: ......Good luck, stay safe, and don't get shot.

    Cad Bane: You keep this in mind, Jedi, the mark of an exceptional being is when they can inspire awe and admiration from just one meeting.
    Plo Koon/Fan-favourite supporting Jedi: I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.
  13. Ulicus

    Ulicus Lapsed Moderator star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 24, 2005
    [link=]Firepath[/link]... even though it was invented by Alan freakin' Moore, it'd work perfectly with this show's format and could easily involve Anakin.
  14. Mikko_Slitherhorn

    Mikko_Slitherhorn Jedi Knight star 1

    Apr 26, 2007
    I absolutely LOVE these references to AOTC [face_laugh]
  15. LittleMissNightsaber

    LittleMissNightsaber Jedi Youngling star 3

    May 2, 2009
    We'll never see Asajj with hair.

    OR how Padmé got pregnant. ;)
  16. RoderulijKumar

    RoderulijKumar Jedi Youngling star 1

    Dec 7, 2008
    A good Grievous episode.
  17. koonfan

    koonfan Jedi Knight star 4

    Oct 15, 2008
    Thanks! Ki-Adi-Mundi's my favourite punching bag for stealing all those lines, but I'm sure I'll grow to love him even more. XD

    Oh, behave! [face_laugh]

    THAT is a matter of opinion and has yet to be seen, though I'll agree that for the people who want to see the tragic, dignified warrior god shreds of Grievous' past, TCW has been VERY unflattering so far. :p
    Now that their villains roster is larger, though, we just might see him used as a more effective antagonist.

    Now let's see if we can't come up with new things...
    -Cad Bane bumps his head and starts wearing sombreros 'while tall-king liiike zeees, senor'
    -Ahsoka uses the word krif, and receives a firm reprimand from a master. She points out Rex as the one who taught it to her.
    -It's further retconned that General Grievous worked for the Banking Clan as a debt collector to put himself through a proper academy.
    -Someone notes the irony that Plo Koon's such a skilled pilot when approaching from the front, yet seems to be especially vulnerable from the rear
    -An amorous character appears and flirts with all the females of the series (yes, there's been some flirting already:p). His voice actor? Mike Myers.
    -A truly morally ambiguous episode is produced, but it's so mired and convoluted by the complexities of the characters that the characters themselves and even the audience wonders 'what the heck was that?'. The producers of the show put out an apology and start working on one that's a little clearer...
    -One or both of the major factions create satirical holo productions to mock their adversaries, a'la Robot Chicken, and their voice actors are the whole crew of that show.
    -Jailed characters are thrown into a talent night contest. Whorm Lhoathsom does his best Sean Connery impression, Wat Tambor beatboxes, and Lok Duurd does a Hikaru Sulu impression
    -Ziro the Hutt reveals that his foolish manner is a ruse to hide the fact that he's actually a major manipulator in the war...yet even when revealing it, the Jedi just can't seem to take him seriously
    -The Republic brings in Twi'lek pin-up girls to visit the clones in order to boost morale
    -The idea of the Republic occupying a planet and making things worse with their occupation is a fairly common way to present their darker side. WHAT IF there was a planet which, after being liberated and occupied by the Republic, actually IMPROVES?
    (Well, there's Ryloth.)
    (Yes, well, we'll just have to wait and see there.)

    And as for dialogue...
    Grievous: I don't get it! HOW can I continue to LOSE to the Jedi?! All my life, I have been trained for war!
    Ventress: Well, let's see. Firstly, you keep on insisting on fighting their BEST warriors, and secondly, before you joined our cause, you spent your whole life fighting BARBARIC INSECTS and being a THREATENING DEBT COLLECTOR.
    Grievous: [face_frustrated] Those insects had hyperdrive, at least.
    Ventress: ....Barbaric.

    Wat Tambor: San Hill? did you escape that battle? No (bwooooeeeewooooowooooo) living being could have eluded General <Jedi>!
    San Hill: WHY is everyone surprised to hear that I'm alive and well? I'll bet I'll outlive the rest of you!

    Whorm Lhoathsom: Ohhhh, ye'll take th' high route, and I'll take th' low route, and I'll be in [link=]Kerkoidia[/link] afoooooore ye...

    Cad Bane: Everybody QUIET! Now ah don't care who shot first or what kind of bounty hunter mah actions make me...all I know is that y'all are givin' me a real headache!

    Obi-Wan: (undercover) (attempting a gangster accent awkwardly) You looking at me? ARE you looking at me? You have not got nothing on me! Uh.....buddy! No, wait, punk! (gangsters glare) (smugly, to self) Oh, I'm good.
    Anakin: (undercover) (shakes head and facepalms) Oy...

    Online Receptionist: <Separatist faction>, pleas
  18. koonfan

    koonfan Jedi Knight star 4

    Oct 15, 2008
    Well, some levity would be nice. XD

    Anyhoo, more stuff we probably won't be seeing...
    -When faced with another problem, Anakin suggests they deploy the AT-TEs. Another character points out just how improbable his past usages of it were.
    -The character further points out that the problem they're facing is that they're on a water world/they're running out of bacta/the bridge they're on can't take any more weight/something where an AT-TE wouldn't be very useful
    -The characters get a specially animated popularity contest episode. Anakin and Obi-Wan are shocked to discover that Cad Bane and the supporting Jedi took the top spots. Specifically, Luminara, Aayla, Plo, and Ki-Adi. :p
    -Luminara competes with Asajj Ventress for Obi-Wan's affections right in the middle of a duel (alright, that was weird, but I once saw this fic that paired Obi-Wan with Luminara...slightly affected the way I looked at their interactions. :p)
    -We finally get to see Master Filoni...a Jedi with a disturbing amount of respect for Plo Koon and an odd fixation on Kel Dorians
    -Obi-Wan rescues a hostage from Grievous in a dazzling display of planning and acrobatics, leaving the General in awe as he mutters 'Now THAT was a rescue'
    -In a reference to how we explain inconsistencies in animation and plotting, a pirate attempts to blame a Monkey Lizard for something he did. "Monkey Lizard did it!"
    -Natives point out that it's foolish to assume that the whole planet shares the same culture, language, and attitudes
    -To illustrate, a Jedi is confident that he can negotiate with a species on a planet...only to find they're speaking a totally different language
    -The Jedi are forced to take out Tra Viss, High Priestess of Mandalore and leader of a radical faction that is swiftly gaining popularity and power. A portion of the galaxy is outraged at this.

    And a couple of lines we'll likely never see...
    Plo: The goggles...THEY DO NOTHING!
    Plo: My glasses! I can't see without my glasses!
  19. Kualan

    Kualan Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 4, 2008
    I agree! This thread needs reviving!

    Hahaha, I can just see that now...

    Anakin: I say we show these Deevalashians just who's boss.
    Obi-Wan: Anakin, really. Sometimes negotiation and diplomacy are far more effective tools than the lightsaber.
    [The Deevalashian delegation enters the room and sits at the table.]
    Obi-Wan: [Taking his seat] It is an honour to be in your presence, High Bishop Flarg.
    High Bishop: Deex el'motoa fleeg floog zebete uri glok.
    Obi-Wan: [Blankface] I'm out.

    Yet more things we'll never see!

    - An episode where Obi-Wan, Anakin, Ahsoka and Rex are captured and it's up to Padme and Luminara to rescue them for once.
    - Ki-Adi-Mundi and Plo Koon attempt to spy on a suspected traitor in the Senate by disguising themselves in long coats, trilby hats and large sunglasses.
    - The InterGalactic Banking Clan surrenders following an economic recession.
    - Jawas! In! Space!
    - A regiment of galactic marines abort a mission when they reveal that they were never trained to swim, because "well Jango couldn't."
    - A new army of oversized super battle droids being commanded by a tiny Ugnaught dressed in a Napoleonic-esque uniform.
    - A previously neutral faction launches a surprise attack on the docked Republic fleet at 'Pearl Spaceharbour'.
    - When Anakin and Obi-Wan return to Coruscant following a major victory, Anakin is swamped by starstruck teenage girls all vying for an autograph.
    - Much to Obi-Wan's chagrin, he discovers that his fanbase consists of the teenage girls' surly-looking middle-aged mothers.
  20. koonfan

    koonfan Jedi Knight star 4

    Oct 15, 2008
    And I can just see THAT now. XD

    Plo Koon: Master Mundi, are you certain that this ruse will work?
    Ki-Adi-Mundi: A simple [link=]hat[/link] allowed me to move unseen on Tatooine. Of course it will work, Master Plo.
    Plo Koon: You and that hat...K'Kruhk never mentioned his.

    And yet more dialogue options we'll likely never see...

    (VERY link-heavy XD)
    Cad Bane: (addressing his new posse) Right then. Ah've assembled you eleven, and [link=]we dozen are all dirty[/link], which is just what we need for this job. Some o' you might come from various backgrounds...[link=,_the_Bad,_and_the_Ugly]the good, the bad, and the ugly[/link]...
    Ugly hunter: (catches on) Heeeeeey.
    Cad Bane: But ah am confident that we can get this job done [link=]for a few credits more[/link]. We go at [link=]high noon[/link]. Get ready for a [link=]lightfight at the O.K. Station.[/link]
    Hunter: Heh...guess you could say we're doing it for [link=]a fistful of[/link] [link=]Duros[/link].
    Cad Bane: (awkward silence) (shoots the hunter) Ah don't abide by puns. Besides, ah don't even know what you're talkin' [link=]about[/link].
  21. Ludo_Kressh

    Ludo_Kressh Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 30, 2005
    Yah! It's back![face_laugh] [face_laugh] Great stuff, guys!
  22. Kualan

    Kualan Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 4, 2008
    Who knows, at the rate the show is referencing it's influences, that Cad Bane dialogue might occur! :p

    - K'kruhk and Cad Bane face off, but before it can come to a fight the combined hat-related awesomeness is too much for the planet they're on and it collapses in on itself.
    - A Venator-class Star Destroyer with shields.

    Various ones related to the limitations of CGI animation...

    - Anakin, getting ready to see Padme, tries to comb his hair only for the comb to snap against his solid hairdo. He discards it onto a high pile of equally broken combs, and declares himself 'looking good'.
    - Ahsoka is introduced to a frozen Master Rancisis by Anakin. When she asks if he is dead, Anakin explains that he is alive and well, but that for reasons 'not even Master Yoda can fathom' he has decided to remain perfectly still for the duration of the mission.
    - Whether under the searing suns of Tatooine, or the high-concentrated gravity of some moon, Anakin and Obi-Wan still refuse to take off their armour under any circumstances. "There'd be sleeves flapping everywhere."

    And the favourites, dialogue we'll never hear!

    Anakin: And so that's my latest reckless plan to defeat the Separatists, what do you think?
    Yularen: Yeah that'll probably work.

    Luminara: See? I was right all along.

    [Anakin and Ahsoka pursue Cad Bane through the streets of Coruscant, as he escapes in a speeder.]
    [They jump into the nearest taxi]
    Anakin: Follow that spee--Master Mundi is that you?!
    Mundi: [In the driver's seat] Ah, crap.
    Ahsoka: What are you doing driving a taxi?
    Anakin: I thought you were on leave? Wait, are you moonlighting?
    Mundi: Well you try supporting seven wives and god knows how many kids on a Jedi's salary!

    Anakin: I'm surprised Master Windu is wrong as often as he is.
    Jedi: Yeah. He's had so many errors recently I'm thinking of calling him Master Windu Vista. Heh, heh, heh. Get it?
    [Anakin and all surrounding Jedi stare blankly]
  23. koonfan

    koonfan Jedi Knight star 4

    Oct 15, 2008
    I loved those ones about CG. =D=
    And thanks, Ludo! Fortunately, Star Wars is a vast universe...It's not likely we'll run into a shortage of material. :D

    Let's see if we can't make this a bit more interesting...XD
    -Cad Bane realises his ensemble, while practical, stylish, and designed to keep him hidden, ironically makes him stand out even more
    -To rectify the situation, he simply removes his hat and puts on a standard Duro space suit, mingling in a cantina as he does so
    -Cad Bane uses his equipment's wrist shocker to play a practical joke/dissuade a salesperson
    -My idea for a Cad Bane death: He goes through an incredibly intense, long, drawn out fight and survives. Just as he's set to escape...a mouse droid bumps into his damaged jet boots, sending him careening to his death
    -Boba Fett resolves not to go out like that, witnessing the fall of Cad Bane. He muses that a backpack-like device would help...
    -A group of Mandalorians have their quarry cornered. One of them makes a comment of his culture, only to accidentally spark a debate with his fellow Mandos about what they culture REALLY is. In the ensuing confusion, the person they're chasing gets away
    -Dooku attempts to predate Thrawn's look of holding onto a pet Ysalimiri, thinking it the perfect counter against the Jedi he's bound to face...only to find that the amphibian affects his Force powers as well
    -General Grievous raising a new Rogwart with tender, loving care with help from his Doctor Droid
    -A Jedi stumbles upon him doing something we'd associate with our pets, like giving it a bath or taking it for a walk

    And speaking of critters...
    Anakin: (slices open a Tauntaun) Alright, Obi-Wan, this should keep us warm long enough for a search party to find us!
    Obi-Wan: Anakin, you KNOW that will never work.
    Anakin: We won't know until we try!
    Obi-Wan: Well, I can give you reasons why we shouldn't...the animal's stink will kill us if the cold doesn't, it won't nearly be enough for the two of us, the Separatists are on the move...and there's some shelter within walking distance over there. (points)
    Anakin: (clears throat) Or, we could just...go check out that shelter over there.

    Anakin: (snorts indignantly) You're no fun, Obi-Wan.
    Obi-Wan: Trust me. Only a maniac would take shelter in some reptomammal's carcass.

    Anakin: (hearing of a mission) Man, I've hit some impossible targets before, but THIS...
    Obi-Wan: What are you talking about, Anakin? I recall you mentioning that you used to hit womp rats back on Tatooine, and they're not much bigger.
    Anakin: Yeeeeaaaaah, about that? Remember when I said I'd hit 'em? (voice drops) It was more like running over. With my pod racer.

    Clone Captain: You shinies look strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark!
    Shiny: What's a gundark?
    Clone Captain: They're...they're strong creatures, so-
    Shiny: But couldn't you say that about any other strong creature?
    Shiny 2: Never heard of gundarks in flash training, have you?
    Shiny 3: I've heard of Krayt Dragons, they're strong...
    Clone Captain: No, the point is, they've got long ears AND they're strong, so-
    Shiny: But there are HUNDREDS of powerful creatures with long ears. Who arbitrarily decided we'd use gundarks to-
    Captain: (sighs) It's times like this which makes me wish you weren't superior to droids...
  24. XCell

    XCell Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 7, 2004
    Sidious having doubts about Dooku being a true Sith, on account of his lack of the red-and-yellow 'Sith eyes'. Sidious had them, Anakin and Darth Maul had them.. so he calls the Hondo and the pirates and they shackle Dooku, letting the Jedi have him back at a good price, and Sidious takes Asajj as his new apprentice.

    And someone asking Anakin, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka if they ever shower.
  25. Ludo_Kressh

    Ludo_Kressh Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 30, 2005
    [face_laugh] Oh man, those Cad Bane ones were great!

    And speaking of CGI limitations:p :

    Bane in his generic Duros spacesuit: Oh yes! Dee Jedi will never find me! *absently strokes his cheekbones* Brreating tubes embedded in dee cheeks, oh yeah! Wait, wherre arre they? *vigorously rubs them, drawing attention to himself* Oh kriff!* Surrenders to the Jedi with a confused expression on his face*

    Ki-Adi: Master Luminara, I don't think this is a sound strategy.

    Luminara: I know it will work, my padawan has memorized the entire plan...

    Ki-Adi: Oh yes, Dependable Barriss will get us through!

    (I know, not as good, but...:p )
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