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Clone Wars The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread

Discussion in 'Star Wars TV' started by koonfan, May 26, 2009.

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  1. koonfan

    koonfan Jedi Knight star 4

    Oct 15, 2008
    So I'm now playing The Old Republic for free. Yeah. XD

    -In Kuun Fan's flat on Coruscant, HNN's Kel Dor journalist sits on the couch watching holoprogramming with a flask of Corellian ale at his side...-
    Kuun Fan: Right, only so long I can review Havoc Squad's stuff for 'patriotic journalism' purposes. Let's see what else is on. (flips to cable)

    -In a cruiser that is painted suspiciously like Scooby Doo's Mystery Machine, the younglings from the Jedi Youngling arc travel across the galaxy solving mysteries...-
    Petro: C'mon, gang, if we work together, that whole "Sith Tomb" thing can be solved!
    Zatt: Ever notice how it's always like a hoax? Think the masters are sending us to root out petty criminals or something?
    Ganodi: And I keep telling you, none of this would be surprising if you'd just read up on the archives! (spooky noise)
    Byph: <Zoinks!>
    Gungi: <Ruh roh!>

    Kuun Fan: Uhhh, wait, I'm pretty sure they were in that last story we did. Uh... (flips channel)

    Announcer: Wrongfully accused of crimes they didn't commit (except for WAC), a group of seasoned astromechs (and WAC) band together as droids of fortune! They take the jobs nobody wants, the tasks no organic can handle. They are...the R-Team! (theme music plays) Starring Artoo, the maverick! (Artoo rockets onscreen) Cutie, the demo expert! (QT-KT bumps a mullet wearing clone out of the way and disarms a bomb) C4, the cutter! (C4 and the gang crack a safe by bracing him as he promptly cuts the lock with his laser beam) Beezee and Gascon, mission control! (Gascon jumps out of Beezee)
    Gascon: I love it when a plan comes together!
    Ackbar: But it's a trap!
    Announcer: And WAC! The...well, he's not really muscle. The distraction, we guess.
    Wac: I pity the fool!

    Kuun Fan: Wait. No. That was. Uh. (flips channel)

    Mother Talzin: You are now masters of the Double Zabrak! Always battle, even if you can avoid it, Maul and Savage!
    Maul: Outrageous!
    Savage: Mandibular!
    Both: DOUBLE ZABRAK! (the pair cross lightsabers and develop brightly coloured costumes in inverted colour schemes, with flamboyant masks designed to look like Krayt Dragons) (the lightsabers inexplicably change shape to look like the most extreme chainsaw blades you've ever seen) (a battlespeeder with a zabrak theme, horned battering ram, rocket launchers and rotary blasters appears as well)
    Maul: By the Force, I love our traditions.

    Kuun Fan: ...I think I might be watching too many holos- (phone rings) Y'lo?
    Kapi Cino: KF, Kapi here. Marth wanted me to remind you to not overdo it with the holos.
    Kuun Fan: How'd you know I was...?
    Kapi: Palpatine's Security Bill.
    Kuun Fan: Well, maybe I have been-

    Big Bantha Biscuits Mascots: Big Bantha Biscuits! With a blasterful of bits in every bite! Now with Nova Nerf flavour! Buy some today! (turns to screen) Buy some today! You need it!

    Kuun Fan:'ve not been watching too much holo. Um. Got any Big Bantha Biscuits?
    Kapi: What?
    Kuun Fan: I've got this sudden craving. Gotta go to the store. Get a pack.
    Mascot: Make it three.
    Kuun Fan: Or three.
    Kapi: Kuun, wait-
    Kuun Fan: (hangs up) ...Maybe I've been overdoing it. Oh well. (walks out humming the Big Bantha Biscuits theme) Hmmhmmhmm, travellin' single file, all the while, munchin' on our Big Bantha Biscuits, before or after dinner, doesn't make you thinner, but at least it's not a nuna brisket, ooooweehoooooo~
    QuangoFett and Seerow like this.
  2. Narutakikun

    Narutakikun Jedi Knight star 4

    Nov 8, 2012

    "Not now, Master Anakin, I'm watching the Galactic Food Network"
    QuangoFett, koonfan and Seerow like this.
  3. Han Burgundy

    Han Burgundy Jedi Master star 3

    Jan 28, 2013

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but is this the first time someone has posted something in this thread that we actually saw? Obi-Wan did shave his beard before he got turned into Rako Hardeen, after all!
  4. Seagoat

    Seagoat PT and Music Section Dictator star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Jan 25, 2013
    Something that we'll never see ever again in anything SW: Chancellor Valorum.

    I forget who he is, too.
  5. Kotre

    Kotre Jedi Youngling

    Feb 18, 2013
    Star Wars: Underworld.

    Am I doing this right?
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