Clone Wars The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread

Discussion in 'Star Wars TV' started by koonfan, May 26, 2009.

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  1. koonfan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 15, 2008
    star 4
    Glad you liked them. I think it'd be great if Bane slipped up with his cheek breathers. And Ki-Adi is certainly someone we wouldn't likely see making a comment like that, which is what makes it priceless! XD

    -Characters make a meta-reference to CG on Kashyyyk, noticing that there are only about three or four different Wookiee types with varying pelt colours. "It's like they're just there to make this planet look lived in!"
    -The comment is actually a hint at the episode's purpose: Separatists have placed impostor Wookiee clones that share most of the same models to make it seem like the planet has split from the Republic in an elaborate yet highly cost-ineffective ruse
    -Clone troopers on Dorin throw their helmets off in triumph...forgetting that the planet's atmosphere is lethal to non-Kel Dorians
    -Clone troopers are discovered with stashes of pin-ups and spice. Their CO is persuaded to keep silent for a share of the goods.
    -Clone troopers are shown discussing which species is the most attractive. A few dissidents give answers like Rodian, Kel Dor, Trandoshan, or Cerean
    -Ki-Adi-Mundi is charged with war crimes for using flamethrowers on Geonosis
    -With the Geonosian Queen becoming our very own Aliens rip-off/homage, the Yuuzhan Vong/Mandalorians appear as a reference to Predator
    -Poggle the Lesser applies to legally change his name to Poggle the Greater. The Separatist Council refuses
    -Nute Gunray's alleged involvement in the scandal, 'Gunray on Top', is revealed. The Confederacy uses the book to bring in more war funds, claiming the proceeds will go to worthy charities

    Ahsoka: Why is it that everyone assumes I have to NOT get along with someone?
    Anakin: I don't call you Snips for nothing, Snips.

    Mandalorian: (found out in a village) Strange...these fools seem to worship Mandalorians!
    Mandalorian 2: Well, that just makes it easier to torch their village.
    Mandalorian 3: We can't do that! They're loving the holos of my children!

    Obi-Wan: (aware of the Satine, Ventress, and now, Luminara fan pairings) Oh yes. All the ladies love me.
    Anakin: Suuuuuure they do.
  2. AhsokaMiro Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2008
    star 3
    CG Limitation Acknowledgment Dept: Obi-Wan and Dooku start to use their beards as the deadly hatchet-like weapons they are.

    They could even lose their lightsabers in mid duel and switch to slashing at each other with their chins for a bit.
  3. darthcaedus1138 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2007
    star 5
    You, sir, deserve a medal for that.
  4. DrAriafya Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2009
    star 1
    Let's be real, we will NEVER see any T & A!!!
  5. TheMacUnleashed Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 2, 2009
    star 4
    [face_laugh] I absolutely love this one (even though I've had Vista for a bit over a year, and it's never really bothered me.).
  6. koonfan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 15, 2008
    star 4
    Took me a little while to get the Windu Vista joke, then it hit me. Awesome. [face_laugh]

    Also, I'd like to point out a few past entries which, oddly enough, became realised. :D
    -A pretty trandoshan (Well, Bossk looks normal for his species, and some might consider that attractive. :p)
    -Dorin's twin black holes factoring into a storyline...or WILL they? (well, it was off-screen in a convention, but still [face_laugh])
    -Clone troopers bumping their heads against doorway arches (Captain Rex, Cargo of Doom...guess he's got more Jango in him than we realise [face_laugh])
    -Waxer and Boyl adopt a cute mascot for their squad (one of them is spotted with a picture of Numa on their ARF-Trooper helmets!)

    And back on track...
    -Acrophobic clone pilots ruin a complicated aerial battle plan
    -Separatists come up with complex maneuvers and ambushes...only to be defeated by a direct frontal assault, their forces thinned
    -Cad Bane streams Robot Chicken on Todo's internal computer
    -Plo Koon wears a new antiox mask, but nobody notices
    -General Grievous reads about a new trend of collectible trinkets and starts gathering those instead of lightsabers.
    -Ironically, when he starts ignoring Jedi, he begins conquering more and more planets in his rush to get the collectibles

    And back on dialogue...XD
    Holonet: (opening theme) Welcome to the Holonet News Network! Reporting tonight is Kuun Fan! (thanks for the shout-out :D)
    Kuun Fan: Republic outposts in the Shistaven sector report that General Plo Koon's fleet has-
    Marth Gaul: We've already covered that.
    Kuun Fan: (dejectedly) Oh. Well, then (brightly) on to some actual news! Jedi approval rates have fluctuated since the war began, but a new development has been found out. It appears that Mirialian Jedi Master Luminara Unduli has found quite a few fans! (picture displays a bunch of citizens holding various pro-Luminara materials) When we interviewed the usually serene Jedi Master, she had only this to say... (brings up archive footage)
    Luminara: (flabbergasted) (a few seconds of silence) Well...that's...quite flattering. (end footage)
    Kuun Fan: This brings to mind the popularity of Master Fisto's signature smile, which was used without his permission to endorse a dental care product. Republic officials have declined to comment on these ardent citizens, but we'll just have to wait for things to develop.
  7. Ludo_Kressh Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2005
    star 5
    [face_laugh] So TODO really did have memory crashes and Grievous could collect trinkets from the Franklin Mint.:p Oh man, keep this stuff coming, guys![face_laugh]
  8. Falls_the_Shadow Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 3
  9. Kualan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 4, 2008
    star 4
    More dialogue today:

    Ahsoka: Master! The Separatist virus has got into our defence systems, but I think I can --
    Anakin: No Ahsoka, don't touch it! We can't risk causing more damage, leave it to the technicians.
    Ahsoka: But Master I--
    Anakin: I said leave it. The technicians know more about defence systems than you and I put together, isn't that right Spanners?
    Spanners (Clone Tech): That's right sir. Now let's see...control, alt, delete...

    [In the midst of a battle on Mygeeto]
    Commander Bacara: General Mundi! [Blast] I've been meaning to [boom] ask you about your fighting [blast] style. Why do you [explosion] only use one hand to wield [blast] your lightsaber?
    Ki-Adi-Mundi: [Explosion] It allows for me to [boom] signal to you and the rest of [blast] the men, Commander, like so. [Raises hand] Forward men! We must push o--[BOOM!]
    [Ki-Adi lowers his arm slowly to reveal a bloody stump where his hand once was]
    Ki-Adi-Mundi: :(

    Waxer: Well, we've captured San Hill. Now all we have to do is decide what to do with him.
    [Boil whispers a suggestion]
    Waxer: I'm pretty sure that's even illegal on Tatooine.

    [Anakin and Ahsoka are traveling in deep space]
    Anakin: Are you sure this informant was reliable, Snips?
    Ahsoka: Yes Master, Padawan Jukasa explicitly told me that the Separatist Council were meeting at these coordinates.
    Anakin: But it's too far away from Separatist Space to be secure for them, don't you think? There's no planets nearby except one.
    Ahsoka: Yeah, the Orsom system.
    Anakin: Exactly...wait, what?
    Ahsoka: Hm?
    Anakin: What did you say it was called?
    Ahsoka: The Orsom system, Master. Padawan Jukasa said we have to go to the planet Orsom.
    Anakin: The planet Or-som?
    Ahsoka: Yes Master.
    Anakin: Or. Som. Awesome. You're taking us to the planet Awesome?
    Ahsoka: ...
    Anakin: You're an idiot, Snips.

    Obi-Wan: This is no time for diplomacy. I say we attack now!

    [In the Masters' canteen in the Jedi Temple]
    Ki-Adi-Mundi: But if the people of that system rise up, then anarchy will spread across the whole sector.
    Plo Koon: That is a risk we shall have to take. We must prioritise the Core Worlds.
    Ki-Adi-Mundi: Their priority in terms of industrial capacity is questionable, and such factors are important in a military campaign.
    Luminara: I agree, we need to secure the Inner Rim manufacturing worlds in order to better secure the Core.
    Plo Koon: A valid argument, but --
    Kit Fisto: (Interrupting) Excuse me maaasters, but could you pass da dutchie?
    [Kit Fisto walks on]
    Ki-Adi-Mundi: Why do I always get the feeling that he's being forced to pander to some sort of racial stereotype?
    Aayla: [Walking by] Beats me, monsieur Mundi.

  10. koonfan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 15, 2008
    star 4
    Awesome! I was thinking of trying to find stuff to post to tide us over until next year! [face_laugh]=D=

    -Clones trigger an alien weapon when they discover too late that 'press Any key' means the actual Any key on the alien terminal
    -Cad Bane telling someone, anyone: "You KNOW you want this. :cool: "
    -A Jedi cornered by an army at a cliffside cuts through the precipice he's stuck on. As the droids laugh while he finishes, the entire cliff except for the precipice collapses, not unlike a Loony Tunes episode. Pseudo-science within the episode explains it as 'repulsor-field emanating minerals embedded within cliff precipices on the planet'
    -Saesee Tiin spoils the ending of a show with his telepathic powers, and is booed out of the theatre or cinema by the patrons
    -Cad Bane's advertising flier for his services is messed up, and the tagline used, rather than 'Let's make things a bit more interesting' or 'I'm in control, I make the rules now' reads: "ARE YOU A MEDICAL DROID?!"

    Let's see...dialogue...well, with Geonosis fresh in our minds...:p

    Poggle the Lesser: (in treaty negotiations) Brrrzzz *clickclick* errckto zzzrrrb horg ibarto! Kreshk? (gestures his hand to the representative, anticipating his reply)
    Representative: Uh...what?
    Poggle: (sighs) Alright, let's try that in Basic...
    Wat Tambor: You could speak Basic THE WHOLE TIME?
    Poggle: Yes, but I typically don't because I have a penchant for intelligent conversation.

    Tactical Droid: My Lord, I suggest we deploy the Supertanks.
    Dooku: They have already failed us once. I won't spend money on an inferior weapon that cannot stand against an adaptable enemy.
    -Meanwhile, planetside...-
    Anonymous Jedi: Y'know, the only thing that could stop our advance is some sort of hyper-durable artillery.
    Clone: Too right, general.

    Eeth Koth: (riding in a gunship) Well, I'm finally out of the bacta tank after that HORRIFIC gunship crash on Geonosis, and I'm ready to return to the battlef- (EXPLOSION) (gunship hurtles out of control) NOT AGAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIN~!!!!:_|
    Plo Koon: (flying fighter escort) (eyes widen in surprise) Master Koth just seems to have terrible luck in the air.
    Captain Jag: That he does, General Plo. Oh, and we've got the vultures on your tail.
    Plo Koon: Thank you.

    Plo Koon: (gasps) (vaguely Gandalf-like) The balrog, I mean, terentatek! Lead them on, Obi-Wan.
    Obi-Wan: But-
    Plo Koon: (VERY Gandalf-like) Lightsabers won't do any good here!
    Anakin: Bantha poodoo! Lightsabers work against everything! Except another lightsaber...and cortosis...and those Mandalorians...

    Cad Bane: (yet another torture setting) Are you a medical droid?!
    TB Model: Well, actually, I am.
    Cad Bane: Well, shut up!
    Victim: (in between torture) Eh, I think you should listen to him.
    Cad Bane: Are you a medical droid?!
    Victim: Well, no, but-
    Cad Bane: Then shut up!

    (and something for World of Warcraft players...)
    Barriss Offee: Blah, blah, forget the plan! Let's do this! BAAAARRIIIIIIIIISS OOOOOFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
    Luminara: Oh my gosh, she just ran in there...someone save her!
    -Later...-
    Commander Gree: Barriss, you're a moron!
    Barriss: Well, at least I have bantha.
  11. darthcaedus1138 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2007
    star 5
  12. koonfan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 15, 2008
    star 4
    Here we are again, folks, and I'm going to try and spread some Christmas cheer this time. XD

    -Dooku is converted to the Light Side of the Force overnight after receiving a visit from three Force Ghosts
    -Jar Jar accidentally burns down an orphanage he's visiting
    -Jar Jar successfully entertains the children at the orphanage he's visiting (wait, what? :p)
    -Jedi attend a Life Day celebration on Kashyyyk
    -Plo Koon recalls the absolutely horrendous Life Day visit his Wookiee master put him through
    -Cad Bane is hired to steal Christmas
    -Kit Fisto bounces off light from his smile into the eyes of biological enemies
    -Palpatine sends a Christmas package to the spice miners on Kessel. They are not amused.
    -Jedi partake in Secret Santa

    Dooku/Admiral Yularen: What do you think you're doing? We have a war to fight!
    Battle droid/Ahsoka: But sir...it's Christmas eve!
    Dooku/Admiral Yularen: Christmas? Bah, humbug! Who needs Christmas?!

    Waxer: She followed us home. Can we keep her?
    Obi-Wan: Weeeeell, it IS Christmas...

    Grievous: A moment, Jedi! (hands over a Christmas present)
    Jedi: Oh, you shouldn't have. And I didn't even get you anything in return!
    Grievous: (impales the Jedi and steals his lightsaber) It's just what I wanted!

    Asajj: So what'd the boss give you?
    Grievous: A gift certificate. You? [face_frustrated]
    Asajj: The same. [face_frustrated]

    Plo Koon: And who do you have to shop for, Master Mundi?
    Ki-Adi: (looks at his card) Dooku? That can't be right...
    Aayla Secura: (opens box and takes out the Slave Leia Bikini set) Is zis somebody's idea of a joke?
    Kit Fisto: [face_whistling]
  13. Qui-Gon_Reborn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2008
    star 6
    Brillaint, simply brilliant. [face_laugh] =D=
  14. fistofan1 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2009
    star 4
    Let's see, what can I think of...

    -Grievous and Ventress have a pie-eating contest. Grievous fails miserably.

    -Ahsoka listens in on Anakin's haircut:
    Barber: I don't get it, the scissors just won't cit it. It's like it's made of metal or something.

    -Waxer: Wow! You dyed your hair blue! And it glows in the dark!
    Boil: It's not supposed to...(Like my Simpsons reference?)
  15. Ludo_Kressh Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2005
    star 5
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Oh gods, they're back! Great stuff guys!
  16. TheMacUnleashed Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 2, 2009
    star 4
    -the Clone Wars Holiday special: Ahsoka is forced to spend Life Day on a small, backwater planet that has never heard of the holiday, so she and Rex decide to go and spread some cheer to the natives by telling them all about the festivities.

    ...and now I'm picturing Ahsoka going all "Heart of Darkness" on the natives and making herself out to be some sort of deity. :eek: [face_laugh]
  17. LawJedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2009
    star 4
    Does that put Rex in the Dennis Hopper role?
  18. koonfan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 15, 2008
    star 4
    Thanks for all the support, guys! Hope you had a great Christmas! :D
    Speaking of which, with Christmas over, it's time to look towards the new year!

    New Year's Resolutions We'll Never See!
    Cad Bane: Resolution? Ah don't need nooo stinkin' resolution! Ah'm Cad Bane, de most perfect bounty hunter of all time!
    Bossk: <Bah...Fett was never this much of a braggart!>

    Yoda: Resolve, I do, to attend more grammar classes.

    Mace Windu: I resolve to finalise the seating order of the Council.

    Anakin: I resolve to be more patient and serene!
    Ahsoka: Ditto! (Admiral Yularen groans in the distance)
    Anakin: Oh, and maybe I'll try to find a new use for our AT-TEs.

    Obi-Wan: (dryly) I resolve to be less sarcastic around others.

    Admiral Yularen: I resolve to count to 10 anytime the Jedi begin to frustrate me.

    Dooku: I resolve to officially (yet secretly) make Ventress my Sith apprentice.

    Grievous: I resolve to return to my roots as a tragic demigod!
    Doctor: Oh yes, like THAT will ever happen. (Grievous growls)

    Commander Cody: I resolve to work on my Jango accent.
    Captain Rex: I don't.

    Commander Bly: I resolve to stop doing reconnaissance around General Aayla's quarters.
    Kit Fisto: Why?

    Commander Gree: I resolve to be a little more spontaneous...I've even written down a bunch of pre-approved spontaneous actions!
    Luminara: That's the way to do it, commander.
    Barriss: I might be mistaken, but that doesn't seem to be right...

    Saesee Tiin: (thinks the New Year's Resolution is a brand new Star Destroyer)

    Plo Koon: I resolve to take the clones out for recreation more often. Time to go, commander.
    Commander Wolffe: Go? Where are we going, sir?
    Plo Koon: Outside to Holoworld to enjoy the fun and merriment. We can withstand the pressure for a brief time. Take your helmets off.
    Sinker: If you say so, sir...

    Zabrak Jedi: I resolve to end my identity crisis! (Actually, this will probably come true. :p)

    Ki-Adi-Mundi: I resolve to stop trusting political idealists so much.

    Jar Jar: Mesa resolvin' to bein' less- (trips over something, bumping into furniture)

    Padme: I resolve to stay out of the action so that I'm not caught as a hostage. ...Is that a needy planet over there?

    Palpatine: (public broadcast) I resolve to bring a swift end to this war! (in Sidious voice) And soon after, to take control! (pause) Is that thing still recording?

    Hondo Ohnaka: I resolve to visit my dear old mother...as a guest, not a prisoner, and without stealing any of her stuff for once.

    Gran Senator: I resolve to get through this war alive to see the new age that follows!
    Gran Senators: We, the government of the Gran, agree with you!

    Mandalorians: We resolve to decide just what sort of a society we really are!
  19. KotORBF2Female_Revan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 21, 2009
    star 5
    I've got a line of dialogue that we'll never see...

    Ahsoka: Master Kenobi, what brand of hairspray do you use?

    It's probably not that funny, if it is at all. xD
  20. koonfan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 15, 2008
    star 4
    An even more unlikely piece of dialogue: Obi-Wan gives her an answer. [face_laugh]

    "I use Petrified Forest, padawan Tano. As if you didn't know!"
  21. Qui-Gon_Reborn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2008
    star 6
    Absolutely priceless. All of it.

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
  22. KotORBF2Female_Revan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 21, 2009
    star 5
    -Someone mistakes Gree's hair for strips of bacon and attempts to eat it.
  23. fistofan1 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2009
    star 4
    Deleted scene from ROTS on Kashyyk:
    Gree: Yoda, the droids are starting up their main power generators. And I'm being chased by a crazy Wookiee.
    Wookiee who looks like the dog from the TV ad: BACON! Tasty bacon! Crispy bacon! YUM! BACON!
  24. fistofan1 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2009
    star 4
    Pellaeon: Admiral Yularen, why do you let that padawan walk around the ship wearing nothing but pants and a tube around her chest?!
    Yularen: What exactly is the problem with that?
  25. GGrievous Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2005
    star 5
    Hopefully this is will come true on Jan 1st. :p
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