FF:SA The Super-Honky Seinfeld Quotes thread.

Kramer: This guy's nothin' but a piece of crap...
Newman: You are nothing but a piece of crap.
Record store guy: Pardon me?
Kramer: A piece of crap...
Newman: A piece of crap.

Kramer: I find you extremely ugly...
Newman: I find you extremely ugly.
Record store guy: Do you?

Kramer: You emit a foul and unpleasant odour...
Newman: You emit a foul and unpleasant odour.
Record store guy: Oh, is that right?
Kramer: I loathe you...
NEWMAN: I loathe you.

 

Yadda yadda yadda

 

George: I'll sniff out a deal. I have a sixth sense.
Jerry: Cheapness is not a sense.

 

Kramer: You're wasting your life.

George: I am not. What you call wasting, I call living. I'm living my life.

Kramer: OK, like what? No, tell me. Do you have a job?

George: No.

Kramer: You got money?

George: No.

Kramer: Do you have a woman?

George: No.

Kramer: Do you have any prospects?

George: No.

Kramer: You got anything on the horizon?

George: Uh, no.

Kramer: Do you have any action at all?

George: No.

Kramer: Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?

George: I like to get the Daily News.

 

Kramer: I must have been out of my mind, look at you, why don't you do something with your life, you sit around here all day, you contribute nothing to society!

 

George: "I have no power. Why should she have the upper hand? Once in my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand. No hand at all. She has the hand. I have no hand."

 

It's a festivus for the rest of us!

 

"No soup for you!"

 

Serenity Now! (this episode's on right now)

 

Jerry: I don't want to be a pirate!

 

Elaine: This is the Urban Sombrero. I put it on the cover of our last catalog.

peterman: The horror! The horror!

 

Jerry: "But are you still Master of your Domain?"
George: "I am King of the County. You?"
Jerry: "Lord of the Manor."

 

Kramer: You look like a cowboy!

Jerry: But I don't wanna be a cowboy!

 

All (180?) Seinfeld episodes + 100 hours of extras for about $170 @ Big W.

 

Multiple episodes on Go!

It's an unvitation!

 

What's my father doing with a man in a cape?

How can it be racist if I like their race?

Wear boxers...

(all from the first five minutes of one episode, haha)

 

Newman: You want to know why you can't go in front first? I'll tell you why. Because it signals a breakdown in the social order. Chaos. It reduces us to jungle law.

 

"You had me sleeping on a pee-stained couch?!"
"No no no, the cushion was turned over."
"But the very idea. You had me lying in urine."

 

Uncle Leo: "Jerry! Hello!"

 

"So, what you are saying is that ninety to ninety-five percent of the population is undateable?"
"Undateable!"
"Then how are all these people getting together?"
"Alcohol."

 

Elaine: I will never understand people.

Jerry: They're the worst.

 

George "Salsa is now the number one condiment in America..."
Jerry "Do you know why? Because people like to say 'Salsa'."

 

babu: "You bad man! You very bad man! You very lazy bad man!!"

 

JERRY: Oh, I'm glad you're here, so we can get this all straightened out. Would you like a cup of tea?
BOOKMAN: You got any coffee?
JERRY: Coffee?
BOOKMAN: Yeah. Coffee.
JERRY: No, I don't drink coffee.
BOOKMAN: Yeah, you don't drink coffee? How about instant coffee?
JERRY: No, I don't have--
BOOKMAN: You don't have any instant coffee?
JERRY: Well, I don't normally--
BOOKMAN: Who doesn't have instant coffee?
JERRY: I don't.
BOOKMAN: You buy a jar of Folger's Crystals, you put it in the cupboard, you forget about it. Then later on when you need it, it's there. It lasts forever. It's freeze-dried. Freeze-dried Crystals.
JERRY: Really? I'll have to remember that.

Bookman Video