The SW Anti-Guru

Discussion in 'Classic Trilogy' started by DarthGelatinous, Jun 13, 2001.

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  1. DarthGelatinous Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2001
    star 2
    Get all of your most inane, infantile, irrelevant, minutiae-obessed questions answered here incompletely or completely incorrectly.
  2. Borth Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 1, 2001
    star 1
    What's so friggin great about star wars??? I don't get it!!!
  3. KaaShamau Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 15, 2000
    star 4
    The Death Star - Why no monkeys? Was it really a shopping centre?
  4. DarthGelatinous Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2001
    star 2
    It was a space mall complete with frozen yogurt shops. If you look carefully during the escape scene you can see a Lady FootLocker and Cell Phone Accessory Kioske.

    The conspicuous lack of monkeys can be explained by GL's fear of them after a bizarre rhesus monkey attack from his early childhood.
    Oddly enough, Peter Tork played a StormTrooper in ANH.
  5. DarthGelatinous Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2001
    star 2
    "What's so friggin great about star wars??? I don't get it!!! "


    Action figures and Darth Vader band-aids.
  6. KaaShamau Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 15, 2000
    star 4
    Star Destroyers, Death Star, the 'Fear' doctrine, another Death Star, Dark Lords of the Sith... - Who ran the Imperial Public Relations department?
  7. DarthGelatinous Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2001
    star 2
    Dame Edna, Tinky-Winky and Newt Gingrich
  8. KaaShamau Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 15, 2000
    star 4
    Jabba - gaseous or gelatinous?

    Was Salacious crumb George Lucas' social comment on modern day monkeys? Did this theme carry through to the Ewoks?
  9. DarthGelatinous Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2001
    star 2
    Jabba's true nature, like light energy, is dichotomous. He displays properties of both gaseousness and gelatinousness.

    The Salacious Crumb character was created after contract negotiations with Kermit the Frog broke down. Kermit can be a real jerk when money is involved. Fozzie is a class act through and through but he walked out to show support for his green buddy. Thus, the Ewoks were born.
  10. KaaShamau Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 15, 2000
    star 4
    So much I never knew...
  11. Vortigern99 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2000
    star 5
    Can I find Aunt Beru in a Playboy magazine from the late 60s?

    Or Captain Needa, for that matter?
  12. DarthGelatinous Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2001
    star 2
    Aunt Beru is on the cover June '68. But, much like the Sally Field issue in '78 there was no pictorial, just "20 Questions with Aunt Beru".
    As for Needa, he can be found in Feb '66 modelling for a Brut Aftershave ad on page 121.
  13. Vortigern99 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2000
    star 5
    *flips through magazine*

    Wow, you're right! Hey, I can still smell the Brut!

    Thanks, DarthGelatinous. You truly ARE the SW Anti-Guru.
  14. DarthGelatinous Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2001
    star 2
    Scratch-n-Sniff technology was actually pioneered by ILM. Grand Moff Tarkin's trading card smells like Ben-Gay.
  15. Primetime_Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2000
    star 4
    How many laserbolts were fired in Star Wars?

    How many lifesavers were there?

    Is Dark Vader really Luke's dad?
  16. DarthGelatinous Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2001
    star 2
    "How many laserbolts were fired in Star Wars?"
    None. The Laserbolt Union was far too strong back then.

    "How many lifesavers were there?"
    None. Although Mentos did come with your bill at the Mos Eisley Cantina.

    "Is Dark Vader really Luke's dad?"
    Who's this Luke guy I keep hearing about?




  17. MeatSaber2000 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2000
    star 3
    Mon Mothma says that "many Bothans" died bringing the plans for the second Death Star to the Rebellion. What I want to know is...how many? C'mon, unless this number is close to the full complement aboard the Tantive IV, is it really worth noting? So, oh great Anti-guru...give us a concrete number...
  18. DarthGelatinous Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2001
    star 2
    Its not really worth noting but that's never stopped me before. The answer is 4 and 3 of those died in an unrelated gardening accident. It was another secret that the Bothans hoped would never surface.
  19. Obi Anne FF admin Celebrations, Europe

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Nov 4, 1998
    star 7
    What part in the saga does the brown lady in Mos Eisley actually play, I've always had the feeling that she's important.
  20. DarthGelatinous Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2001
    star 2
    Well, I don't want to reveal any spoilers here, but keep an eye on Palpatine's interior decorator in EPII and EPIII. You just might notice a familiar shade of brown.
  21. Aerica Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 1998
    star 4
    If the ewoks had gotten their way and cooked Leia's pals...who do you think would've tasted the best? Han, Luke, or Chewie?
  22. Grand_Moff_Jawa Chosen One

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2001
    star 5
    Why do all Rodians dress the same?
  23. DarthGelatinous Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2001
    star 2
    "If the ewoks had gotten their way and cooked Leia's pals...who do you think would've tasted the best? Han, Luke, or Chewie? "

    It would have Luke. Midichlorians make a wonderful marinate for human flesh. Kinda like soy sauce.
    Wookie's have a gamey taste, it reminds me of groundhog.
    Han's too tough and stringy for my taste.

    "Why do all Rodians dress the same? "
    4.6 billion Rodians, 1 Rodian tailor.
  24. Tapani Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    How is Jabba's long lost brother, Mybba connected to the storyline of ANH?
  25. DarthGelatinous Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2001
    star 2
    Mybba had gotten so big and fat (which he always claimed was a glandular problem) that the Imperial Corp of Engineers built the original Death Star around him in order to take advantage of his gravitational pull. Its true, you can look it up.
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