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The SW Anti-Guru

Discussion in 'Classic Trilogy' started by DarthGelatinous, Jun 13, 2001.

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  1. DarthGelatinous

    DarthGelatinous Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 15, 2001
    Get all of your most inane, infantile, irrelevant, minutiae-obessed questions answered here incompletely or completely incorrectly.
     
  2. Borth

    Borth Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 1, 2001
    What's so friggin great about star wars??? I don't get it!!!
     
  3. KaaShamau

    KaaShamau Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 15, 2000
    The Death Star - Why no monkeys? Was it really a shopping centre?
     
  4. DarthGelatinous

    DarthGelatinous Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 15, 2001
    It was a space mall complete with frozen yogurt shops. If you look carefully during the escape scene you can see a Lady FootLocker and Cell Phone Accessory Kioske.

    The conspicuous lack of monkeys can be explained by GL's fear of them after a bizarre rhesus monkey attack from his early childhood.
    Oddly enough, Peter Tork played a StormTrooper in ANH.
     
  5. DarthGelatinous

    DarthGelatinous Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 15, 2001
    "What's so friggin great about star wars??? I don't get it!!! "


    Action figures and Darth Vader band-aids.
     
  6. KaaShamau

    KaaShamau Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 15, 2000
    Star Destroyers, Death Star, the 'Fear' doctrine, another Death Star, Dark Lords of the Sith... - Who ran the Imperial Public Relations department?
     
  7. DarthGelatinous

    DarthGelatinous Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 15, 2001
    Dame Edna, Tinky-Winky and Newt Gingrich
     
  8. KaaShamau

    KaaShamau Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 15, 2000
    Jabba - gaseous or gelatinous?

    Was Salacious crumb George Lucas' social comment on modern day monkeys? Did this theme carry through to the Ewoks?
     
  9. DarthGelatinous

    DarthGelatinous Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 15, 2001
    Jabba's true nature, like light energy, is dichotomous. He displays properties of both gaseousness and gelatinousness.

    The Salacious Crumb character was created after contract negotiations with Kermit the Frog broke down. Kermit can be a real jerk when money is involved. Fozzie is a class act through and through but he walked out to show support for his green buddy. Thus, the Ewoks were born.
     
  10. KaaShamau

    KaaShamau Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 15, 2000
    So much I never knew...
     
  11. Vortigern99

    Vortigern99 Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    Can I find Aunt Beru in a Playboy magazine from the late 60s?

    Or Captain Needa, for that matter?
     
  12. DarthGelatinous

    DarthGelatinous Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 15, 2001
    Aunt Beru is on the cover June '68. But, much like the Sally Field issue in '78 there was no pictorial, just "20 Questions with Aunt Beru".
    As for Needa, he can be found in Feb '66 modelling for a Brut Aftershave ad on page 121.
     
  13. Vortigern99

    Vortigern99 Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    *flips through magazine*

    Wow, you're right! Hey, I can still smell the Brut!

    Thanks, DarthGelatinous. You truly ARE the SW Anti-Guru.
     
  14. DarthGelatinous

    DarthGelatinous Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 15, 2001
    Scratch-n-Sniff technology was actually pioneered by ILM. Grand Moff Tarkin's trading card smells like Ben-Gay.
     
  15. Primetime_Jedi

    Primetime_Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 21, 2000
    How many laserbolts were fired in Star Wars?

    How many lifesavers were there?

    Is Dark Vader really Luke's dad?
     
  16. DarthGelatinous

    DarthGelatinous Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 15, 2001
    "How many laserbolts were fired in Star Wars?"
    None. The Laserbolt Union was far too strong back then.

    "How many lifesavers were there?"
    None. Although Mentos did come with your bill at the Mos Eisley Cantina.

    "Is Dark Vader really Luke's dad?"
    Who's this Luke guy I keep hearing about?




     
  17. MeatSaber2000

    MeatSaber2000 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 2000
    Mon Mothma says that "many Bothans" died bringing the plans for the second Death Star to the Rebellion. What I want to know is...how many? C'mon, unless this number is close to the full complement aboard the Tantive IV, is it really worth noting? So, oh great Anti-guru...give us a concrete number...
     
  18. DarthGelatinous

    DarthGelatinous Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 15, 2001
    Its not really worth noting but that's never stopped me before. The answer is 4 and 3 of those died in an unrelated gardening accident. It was another secret that the Bothans hoped would never surface.
     
  19. Obi Anne

    Obi Anne FF manager Celebrations star 8 Manager

    Registered:
    Nov 4, 1998
    What part in the saga does the brown lady in Mos Eisley actually play, I've always had the feeling that she's important.
     
  20. DarthGelatinous

    DarthGelatinous Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 15, 2001
    Well, I don't want to reveal any spoilers here, but keep an eye on Palpatine's interior decorator in EPII and EPIII. You just might notice a familiar shade of brown.
     
  21. Aerica

    Aerica Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 1998
    If the ewoks had gotten their way and cooked Leia's pals...who do you think would've tasted the best? Han, Luke, or Chewie?
     
  22. Grand_Moff_Jawa

    Grand_Moff_Jawa Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 31, 2001
    Why do all Rodians dress the same?
     
  23. DarthGelatinous

    DarthGelatinous Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 15, 2001
    "If the ewoks had gotten their way and cooked Leia's pals...who do you think would've tasted the best? Han, Luke, or Chewie? "

    It would have Luke. Midichlorians make a wonderful marinate for human flesh. Kinda like soy sauce.
    Wookie's have a gamey taste, it reminds me of groundhog.
    Han's too tough and stringy for my taste.

    "Why do all Rodians dress the same? "
    4.6 billion Rodians, 1 Rodian tailor.
     
  24. Tapani

    Tapani Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    How is Jabba's long lost brother, Mybba connected to the storyline of ANH?
     
  25. DarthGelatinous

    DarthGelatinous Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 15, 2001
    Mybba had gotten so big and fat (which he always claimed was a glandular problem) that the Imperial Corp of Engineers built the original Death Star around him in order to take advantage of his gravitational pull. Its true, you can look it up.
     
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