The SW Anti-Guru

Is anyone willing to take the chance at translating what that other protocol droid told C-3PO on Cloud City that was so rude?

 

Your momma's a microwave and your father is Darth Vader.

 

Yeah, that was rude. Now I see why 3PO was as upset as he was.

 

Sometimes the truth hurts.

 

Hey Guru, I was wondering, why was the only fat rebel pilot named Porkins?

 

Yes, that was a little insensitive. But bear in mind that this movie was released prior to the phenomenon known as political correctness. And why was one of the smallest creatures known as Salacious Crumb?

 

"Hey Guru, I was wondering, why was the only fat rebel pilot named Porkins?"

Because "The Amazing Mr. Lipid" was too long.

 

Okay, here we go. This question is bound to stir up controversy, but I must know, O wise guru. Star Wars canon - what is it?

 

"Star Wars canon - what is it? '

The movies along with everything I have written on this 8 page thread.

There have been rumors that some books have been written using our beloved SW characters in new storylines. Frankly, I have a hard time believing it. Besides, who has time to read. What with movie watching, playing with my action figures, writing manifestos to Natalie Portman declaring my undying love, stalking David Prowse and posting messages, my day is pretty much filled up.

 

O wise guru, what does the D of good ol' Red Four John D.'s name stand for? And, if they call Porkins "Piggy" in the novelization, does that mean pigs exist in the SW Universe?

 

Mr. Guru, in ROTJ, we see the forrest moon of Endor. What's the actual planet like?

 

"O wise guru, what does the D of good ol' Red Four John D.'s name stand for? And, if they call Porkins "Piggy" in the novelization, does that mean pigs exist in the SW Universe?"

Denver. He wasn't a very good pilot.

Pigs don't exist but there is a character named Piggy in SE ROTJ. If you look carefully during the campfire celebrations on Endor you can see him being impaled for trying to take the conch.

 

"Mr. Guru, in ROTJ, we see the forrest moon of Endor. What's the actual planet like?"

Its cold, quiet, not much culture to speak of...its a lot like Canada.

 

Piggies may or may not exist. But we do know of the existence of ducks.

 

Oh, wise one...

How does R2-D2 descend the stairs into Jabba's reception room?

What do banthas eat? Dewbacks?

And is there in fact an evolutionary link between the ewok and the koala? If so, how did the ancestral koalas get to Endor?

 

Oh, wise one...

How does R2-D2 descend the stairs into Jabba's reception room?

What do banthas eat? Or dewbacks, for that matter?

And is there in fact an evolutionary link between the ewok and the koala? If so, how did the ancestral koalas get to Endor?

 

Oh, wise one...

How does R2-D2 descend the stairs into Jabba's reception room?

What do banthas eat? Or dewbacks, for that matter?

And is there in fact an evolutionary link between the ewok and the koala? If so, how did the ancestral koalas get to Endor?

 

Oh, wise one... how does R2-D2 descend the stairs into Jabba's reception room?

What do banthas eat? Or dewbacks, for that matter?

And is there in fact an evolutionary link between the ewok and the koala? If so, how did the ancestral koalas get to Endor?

 

Oh, wise one... how does R2-D2 descend the stairs into Jabba's reception room?

What do banthas eat? Or dewbacks, for that matter?

And is there in fact an evolutionary link between the ewok and the koala? If so, how did the ancestral koalas get to Endor?

 

Oh, wise one...

How does R2-D2 descend the stairs into Jabba's reception room?

What do banthas eat? Or dewbacks, for that matter?

And is there in fact an evolutionary link between the ewok and the koala? If so, how did the ancestral koalas get to Endor?

 

Oh, wise one... how does R2-D2 descend the stairs into Jabba's reception room?

What do banthas eat? Or dewbacks, for that matter?

And is there in fact an evolutionary link between the ewok and the koala? If so, how did the ancestral koalas get to Endor?

 

Oh, wise one... how does R2-D2 descend the stairs into Jabba's reception room?

What do banthas eat? Or dewbacks, for that matter?

And is there in fact an evolutionary link between the ewok and the koala? If so, how did the ancestral koalas get to Endor?

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! I just checked this thread and saw how many times that damn thing posted! I am so sorry... I didn't know it had done that... is there any way I can go back and delete the extra posts?

 

"Oh, wise one... how does R2-D2 descend the stairs into Jabba's reception room?"
Some believe that Artoo has some sort of hidden repulsor lift device. The truth is that he fell. Don't worry, Artoo is the master of the pratfall. He was two years ahead of me at Clown College.

"What do banthas eat? Or dewbacks, for that matter?"
They both eat french fries with mayonaise. I don't understand it, it must be a European thing.

"And is there in fact an evolutionary link between the ewok and the koala? If so, how did the ancestral koalas get to Endor?"
There is no link to the koala but there is a link to the rare North American bear species, the Fozzie.

 

Mr. Anti-Guru, is EU CANON or CANON EU, is TPM CANON and ANH EU, is SWROTJSE EU or CANON Is SE EU or CANON, is there a TPMSE or a TPMEU. And where does RPG fit in.