The tale of Obi-Wan Kenobi

EXTERIOR - STORM - NABOO - DUSK

As the storm rages we up OBI-WAN forcing his way through brambles and over slippery rocks.
Progress is hard.
He pauses and at this moment we hear the roaring of fambaas.

OBI-WAN turns, then hurries onward even more urgently.
Another louder, closer roar is heard and OBI-WAN stumbles and falls heavily.

Though obviously injured he bravely struggles forward a little and regains his feet reacting with pain.
More louder closer roaring.

He grips his lightsaber valiantly and as he glances around a flash of lightning reveals the silhouette of a huge terrifying castle, perhaps looking rather derelict.

He makes up his mind in an instant and stumbles manfully toward it.
More louder roaring.

He reaches the forbidding and enourmous doors of the castle and beats on the doors with the handle of his lightsaber.

Pause. He beats again, shouting:

OBI-WAN
Open the door. Open the door.
In the name of Master Yoda.
Open the door

Some suitable noises are heard inside.
The fambaas' roaring is very close.
As the door creaks open OBI-WAN steps quickly inside.


INTERIOR - CASTLE - NIGHT

From inside we see OBI-WAN enter. wiping the rain from his eyes, and turn as the door crashes behind him.
OBI-WAN turns to the door reacting to the fact he is trapped.

SABÃ? (OUT OF VISION)
Hello!

OBI-WAN turns back.
We see from his POV the lovely SABÃ?, smiling enchantingly.

SABÃ?
Welcome, gentle Jedi, welcome to the Castle Anthrax.

OBI-WAN
The Castle Anthrax?

SABÃ?
Yes. It's not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice and we will attend to your every, every need.

OBI-WAN
You are the keepers of the Holy Holocron?

SABÃ?
The what?

OBI-WAN
The Holocron. It is here?

SABÃ?
Oh, but you are tired and you must rest awhile. Rabé! Cordé!

RABÃ? AND CORDÃ?
Yes, O Sabé?

SABÃ?
Prepare a bed for our guest.

RABÃ? AND CORDÃ?
(grovelling with delight)
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

SABÃ?
Away varletesses!
(to OBI-WAN)
The beds here are warm and and soft, and very, very big.

OBI-WAN
Well, look, I, I...er...

SABÃ?
What is your name, handsome Jedi?

OBI-WAN
Obi-Wan Kenobi...the Chaste.

SABÃ?
Mine is Sabé. Just Sabé.
(she is very close to him for a moment)
Oh, but come.

OBI-WAN
Look, please, by the Force, show me the Holocron

SABÃ?
Oh, you have suffered much, you are delirious.

OBI-WAN
Look, I have seen it. It is here.

SABÃ?
Sir Obi-Wan!!
You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality.

OBI-WAN
Well...I er...

SABÃ?
Oh, I'm afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen-and-a-half, cut off in this castle, with no one to protect us.
Oooh. It is a lonely life... bathing... dressing... undressing... making exciting underwear...

They reach the end of the corridor and enter the bedchamber. SABÃ? turns.

SABÃ?
We are not used to handsome Jedi Knights...
(she notices hiom limping)
nay, come, come you may lie here. Oh, but you are wounded!

OBI-WAN
No, it's nothing!

SABÃ?
You must see the doctors immediately.
No, no, please, lie down.

She almost forces him to lie on the bed as DORMÃ? and EIRTAÃ? enter the room. They are equally beautiful and dressed exotically.
They approach OBI-WAN.

DORMÃ?
Well, what seems to be the problem?

OBI-WAN
They're doctors?

SABÃ?
Er, they have a basic medical training, yes.
Come, come, you must try to rest.
Dr. Dormé! Dr. Eirtaé!
Practice your art.

EIRTAÃ?
Try to relax.

OBI-WAN
Are you sure that's absolutely necessary?

DORMÃ?
We must examine you.

OBI-WAN
There's nothing wrong with that.

DORMÃ?
(slightly irritated)
Please...we are doctors.

OBI-WAN tries for one brief moment to

 

You son of a silly person!

Der er nok nogen der har set Monty P og de skøre riddere hva'? Gad vide hvor castle Anthrax ligger? Det ville ikke være det dårligste sted at havne

Synes dog også at du skulle have lavet den med 'the jediknights who say NI!'

 

Jeg fandt en DVD i Fona forleden dag. Mange fede features.

Denne her er min yndlings:

Subtitles for people who don't like the film
(taken from Shakespeare's Henry IV, part II)

 

Jeg har The Quest for the Holy Grail DVD'en. Den eneste fejl ved den er at man ikke kan se den med normale danske eller engelske undertekster. Det nærmeste man kommer på en læselig underteksting er engeslk for døve. Nu har jeg normalt ingen problemer med at se engeslke film uden undertekster MEN, når vi taler Monthy Python kører de som sagt med en ret tykt accent, så det ville nu være rart med lidt teksting, så man ku få det hele med.

 

Jeg købte min til overpris hos amazon.com et par måneder før den danske version udkom..

Der er dog gode engelske undertekster på, ikke for hearing impaired, bare intet extra materiale.

 

Du er en syg mand, Coras!!!!

En MEGET syg mand!!

 

Jeg syntes det er ret synd for Obi Wan!
Kan du ikke lave en v.2.0 hvor han ser denne fare i øjnene? Jeg vil nemlig gerne se hvordan han klarer sig ud af den situiation!

 

sødt eller noget