Beyond - Legends The Tears We Hide... (Newbie Challenge, OC's Only)

The introductory fluff...

Setting: Varies, but I chose the "Beyond the Saga" forum for where the story ends. If anyone feels it should be moved, they can voice that opinion at any time.
Characters: Originals, all of them. Yep. GL can only claim bragging rights on what and where, not who. There won't be a list... Just follow along.
Author's Note: A prevalent majority of this story, if not the entire thing, will be done from the first-person perspective. If this is not your cup of tea, drink from a different pot.
First What?: (For the challenge.) First family visit...

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[color=#003399][b][i][u]In the past...[/u][/i][/b][/color]

I will never forget this day. The Emperor and his Senate can send me and my pod-brothers on so many missions that I can't think straight, but this day will always be in my mind, and nothing in this Light-forsaken galaxy can change that. So much for the ideas of discipline among the Republic's ranks...

[i]There's a reason I sided against non-clones in the Republic army![/i] I keep telling myself. There was a reason, alright, and I had just been informed a few minutes ago about what had happened. Normally, it wouldn't bother me; I'm part of a small team of specialists, and we look out for each other and only each other. We are brothers, in just as much a metaphorical sense of the term as a biological. Still, I have friends, even among the oft-vexing Jedi, and one of them had just been hurt. That, if nothing else, served as a perfect reason for my anger. My friend Cass was hurting, because someone had to go off and flex his chauvinistic, [i]human[/i] muscle on an easily-overpowered lady. [i]Not just any lady... My friend.[/i]

"Hey, Viper... Take it easy, will you? You look like you're about to break a few bulkheads."

The voice of my CO is not helping right now; in fact, his request for me to calm down has had quite the opposite of the intended effect. Right now, what I really want to do is find the jerk who hurt my friend, and break him in a way he'll never stop thinking about. "You know how I feel about this...sir."

"Yes, I do. Promise me you won't do anything rash, alright?"

For a few seconds, I want to say 'No'. I want to go out there, to find and batter the guilty party, to make the rest of his life a living Hell deprived of all we take for granted. For just those few seconds, the thought of treason crosses my mind. Almost as soon as it's there, though, it's gone. "Yes, sir." A few tense seconds pass, my deep breathing the only noise in the room. "If you'll excuse me," I say after I feel slightly more relaxed, "I'd like to go and visit her." [i]And snap her assailant's shoulder blades![/i] I think to myself, grinning inwardy at the thought.

"Alright. I expect you back here for your next mission briefing in thirty minutes."
[hr]
[color=red][b][u][i]Thirteen months later...[/i][/u][/b][/color]

It's been a while since the assault incident. For starters, Cassandra is back in action and healthier than last I saw her, 6 months ago. Her son, the result of that sad debacle, is back on her homeworld, Corellia; from what I've heard, they'll never see each other, ever.

"129, are you alright?" Her voice, the static on the comm making it very hard to understand her. A soft smile tugs at my face as I hear her, because of that concern and trust between us. I'd do anything for her...even kill for her. I can still remember that indicent, so many months ago. She shouldn't have had to suffer the injustice; some effort should have been put into finding whoever hurt her like that.

"I'm fine, ma'am." Silently, I go over my weapons one last time. [i]BlasTech DC-17m ICWS... BlasTech DC-15s... Three thermal detonators... Two spare magazines for each of the rifle's clip-fed attachments...[/i] Everything's ready; it's time to get the show on the road.

[color=red][i]"Execute Order 66."[/i][/color]

For a few seconds, I stand perfectly still, totally confused; I'd swear I heard some sort of voice, but it wasn't either of us, and

 

First of all, allow me t do this...

Awsome, awsome, I enjoyed every word, phrase and scene. Excellent execution and style. Me, being the glutton for detail that I am, I WANT MORE!! ( and I'm certain I'm not just speaking for myself here )

All three time periods can be fleshed out so much more, which of course you already know. There are so many unanswered question, and although this short can well stand just as it's presented, I strongly suggest against it. ( for completely selfish reasons, I want to know what happens)

I mean, I completely imagined the fights, the chases and the near death escapes. There's the 'human' story of each of the characters you've presented and the themes you have touched upon. Friendship, Duty, Violence, Motherhood, Consequence, Accountability, just to mention a few. I'll go as far as to say that you have the fine makings of a post EPIII mini-novel.

Again I say, Awsome premise and well crafted execution, now get to working on that Novel. ( hehehehe )

Needless to say, even if you choose not to pursue expanding on this short, you have an instant fan in me. More Please!

Thanks for a great read.

Sincerely,

Greyjedi125

 

IronSight! Magnificant! So much is said even when it is unsaid. I stand in awe.

 

Wow, fascinating, well-crafted response to the challenge.

 

Wonderful response to the challenge, IronSight. This was put together so very well. I really felt for your OCs and found them very interesting. The end was exceptionally poignant.

Look forward to reading more from you!

 

greyjedi125: Thanks for the review...and the case of Plot-Bunny-Itis that I now have. I've got an idea for expanding this, yes... I just don't know how long it'll take to get it rolling. >.< Stay tuned.

SECRETSISTER: Sometimes, the best conveyance for a theme is nothingness, a void that screams with a clarity that noise never could... Other times, it's just to let the reader's thoughts run wild.

DarthIshtar: I aim to please...

Healer_Leona: ...and I please to aim, especially for the easily-tugged heart-strings, if they're available.

MirandaFair: Thanks. Glad to know I had an effect on some people around here.

On that note, time to get to work on some other stuff, and have even more of an effect...

 

very, very good. excellent integration of the different timeframes. incredibly well written.

 

Great job IronSight I agree wholeheartedly that you integrated these eras wonderfully. Each of your sections was beautifully tied together, despite knowing how much more there is to this story.

I think that you could do a lot with these characters... and you should.

jcs

 

Trimaj: Thank you for your kind words; it's a pleasure to know that I have a happy audience.

jaina_clan_solo: Are you part of a mob that's trying to force a novella out of me?

Sorry for the late responses, gang... Just been hoping for more reviews.

Anyway...yeah, you convinced me. It'll become a larger work, some day. When, I know not, but some day, it will.