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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Before - Legends The Triad Chronicles (Book III now in progress, OC's, Qui-Gon) ~~ Updated 4/11~~

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Force_Triad, Jan 9, 2007.

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  1. Force_Triad

    Force_Triad Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 20, 2006
    Dianethx There was a ton going on in this post, it's one of our meatier ones. Qui-Gon taking up the blade was definite symbolism to the start of the destiny for the triad so of course it felt right ;) As far as who the boy is in the vision, it was Anakin. :) And Merrick and Theron definitely have that in mind. Thanks for your lovely comments! We always look forward to them :D

    VaderLVR64 Thanks for coming back to us ;) Glad you liked it!

    Ara-gon Thanks! We had a heck of a time with it but we eventually got it out and we've got some momentum going from it now. Glad you liked the vision, Neon wrote that part so she's glad it worked out :D


    Look we're posting two weeks in a row ;) We finally got unblocked so we're using the momentum to hopefully keep us going :D If scheduling will cooperate we'll have a couple of posts ready before long. Thanks for hanging with us through Darth Real Life, we really appreciate it :)



    Chapter Four: Within the Heart



    You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you. ~Frederick Buechner





    A breath, two.

    Shane sighed, curling closer to the warmth next to him, happy, content in a shadow that he remembered, and had not felt in so long. It was one of those visions.

    They were so rare, yet so precious, that he sometimes found himself not wanting to wake. Because only there, with the last dying remnants of who he had been, was the one that once owned his entire world.

    'Nihan,' that voice, so loving, so sure, so protective. He opened his eyes, to smile brightly at its owner.

    'Nissan,' a coo, and he snuggled closer, begging for a bit more time in his heart.

    'Nihan. Jer'en wants to show you something today. Have to get up," a little coax, and his brother picked him up from their warm nest.

    He felt himself tense. But he relaxed again. Jer'en was still family here, because Nissan was there. As long as Nissan was there, the world fit together perfectly.

    Yet, somehow, the closer they drew, the more something felt wrong. Shivering, he cuddled closer, even as they moved from their room in the small abandoned building, into the larger area.

    And there ahead....

    His heart felt like it was being ripped out. Agony pierced through him the moment he laid eyes on his Ke' across the way, tangled in what looked like a web of black strings, that cut deeper with every weak movement he made. Blood dribbled across those strings, slipped down to the dust...

    "Ja'!" he tried to squirm from his brother's arms, not understanding why they were allowing it, why no one was helping him...

    "Now now, Me'. You're the one who left him to suffer," that voice froze him, and when he looked back to who was holding him, he almost cried out in something almost akin to terror for the first time in his life.

    Jer'en's half decayed face smiled in return.


    ~*~

    Shane bolted up, forcing himself awake as he gasped, that cry lodged in his throat as he trembled, arms coming about him to hold tight, as he curled his knees to his chest. "La'...." Where was the other? Usually he prevented such from coming.

    Drex stirred, a loud snore cutting short as he awoke feeling more than hearing his padawan's distress. He came awake, trying to blink sleep out of his eyes. "Padawan? What's the matter?"

    Shane wanted to whimper, as he heard him, but forced it down as he glanced to his Master, "Nothing....Just a bad dream." Or so he thought. Only, the pain hadn't stopped. He still felt agony somewhere.

    Drex frowned in concern and wrapped his arm around the boy to pull him closer. "Vision?"

    A little nod, "Be okay," Shane sighed, unconsciously snuggling against him, feeling the odd urge to cry.

    "Want to talk about it?" he asked, rubbing his back, trying to soothe him.

    Shane shook his head. The Master wouldn't understand.

    Drex sighed softly in disappointment that
     
  2. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004

    "Come on, let's get you to bed, Ne'," he said after a moment. He went to his room and then put him down on his bed. "Do you want to sleep here or in a nest tonight?"

    It was a question asked automatically even though Shane usually chose to be with him.

    "With you," Shane didn't care where he slept, so long as it was right next to his Master. He needed him desperately.

    "All right," Drex soothed. "You can sleep right here next to me," he crawled in his bed and made himself comfortable. It was funny really. He never would have thought before that Shane would have been the type to curl up in bed at night needing comfort but he was very much like Ren in that respect.

    Shane cuddled close to his side, one hand reaching to grip at him, tight, though gentle, as if hoping Drex would protect him through the night. It seemed at night, he still needed some manner of protection, when he rejected it during the day.

    Drex wrapped an arm around him sensing what his boy wanted and gently nudged him with his mind. "Sleep well, little one. I'm right here beside you."

    A soft, half purr, weak still from what troubled him, then Shane's eyes closed, that nudge lending him ease enough to finally rest a few more hours.

    Drex settled into position beside him, his own eyes closing, hoping his boy would be free of visions the rest of the night.


    Simply loved it! =D=
     
  3. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    That was a horrible vision. No wonder Shane was so upset.

    His heart felt like it was being ripped out. Agony pierced through him the moment he laid eyes on his Ke' across the way, tangled in what looked like a web of black strings, that cut deeper with every weak movement he made. Blood dribbled across those strings, slipped down to the dust...

    "Ja'!" he tried to squirm from his brother's arms, not understanding why they were allowing it, why no one was helping him...

    "Now now, Me'. You're the one who left him to suffer," that voice froze him, and when he looked back to who was holding him, he almost cried out in something almost akin to terror for the first time in his life.

    Jer'en's half decayed face smiled in return.


    Gave me the shivers.

    Loved that Drex is there to help Shane through this.

    Good job.
     
  4. Ara-gon

    Ara-gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Really creepy vision. Very disturbing. Things aren?t about to take a turn for the serious, are they? Hrrmmm?

    Drex is smart?chocolate is pretty much a cure-all. And I love how he refers to Shane as ?his boy.? It speaks of healing on his part and a healthy bond between him and Shane. Just lovely.

    Yoda shouldn?t have hidden the fact that Shane makes prophecies from Drex. What was he thinking? Drex deserved to know.

    Good post. Mayhem on the way, eh? Soon, too? [face_worried]
     
  5. Force_Triad

    Force_Triad Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 20, 2006
    VaderLVR Glad you liked it :) Thanks for reading!

    Dianethx Yes, it was rather horrible, anybody would be upset after something like that. Glad we creeped you out, we were trying to :D Thanks for your comments!

    Ara-gonIt was quite dark, and things are definitely going to take a bad turn here soon. Chocolate is definitely a cure-all. Drex is very protective of Shane and he's come to love him just as much as he cared for Ren. Yoda definitely should not have hidden that, but Yoda does things his own way. Mayhem on the way? Why would you think that? ;) Thanks for reading!

    Very sorry this post has taken so long to get out. Between me having a procedure in the hospital and Neon's grandmother being in the hospital and work and school, our time has totally been eaten alive in the last few months, but we're fighting to get out from under! We're still here! :D


    Chapter Five: Darkness Upon Us Creeps


    The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other, and children cling to us. The moment we cease to hold each other, the moment we break faith with one another, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out." ~ James Arthur Baldwin





    He feared he was sobbing.

    Crushed fingers moved, struggled to catch on the stone beneath him, bleeding from where his nails had been ripped out, smearing crimson across obsidian stone, burned that way thousands of years before.

    He wanted to get up, had to get up. Laying down meant defeat, meant surrender, meant death.

    He wasn't ready to die yet.

    And he would be cursed before he surrendered.

    But he truly began to worry when he felt wetness on his cheeks. His breathing was beginning to quicken as well.

    How long had he been in this cell, trapped with that monster watching him in the corner? The monster that bore his brother's face, that had his Nissan's laugh that was just as cruel as the flesh he had thought lost. Had hoped dead. Yet, obviously not.

    Only Jer'en could be such a demon, to enjoy the torment he gave, and only Jer'en could make him bleed so.

    It was all part of a lesson, or so the older had muttered once or twice. He had to learn.

    He didn't know what it was he was supposed to learn. He didn't want to know it if he had to learn it this way.

    Clawing again at the ground, he half made it to his knees and hands. His breaths were getting worse, more chocked.

    He couldn't....

    They had taken him by surprise, in his own territory. It had been night, half the gang had been settling to sleep, the other kept on watch. They were the best of the area, had defeated and destroyed any other that dared to cross their realm. Even the Elders had been growing to fear him, fear them, whatever warriors they sent meeting the same fate as all others that crossed them.

    It had taken just Jer'en to destroy his entire gang, his whole family. Jer'en who had beaten him into the dust, and had slaughtered those he too had once called brothers and friends, leaving neither the older ones nor the young.

    All had died, choked by invisible hands, bashed against broken rock and metal by forces unseen, ripped apart right before they ever touched the demon that had come upon them.

    If he had known it was just him that they wanted, he would have gone to spare them the fates that had come. None of them had deserved to die as Jer'en had slaughtered them.

    He had to honor them, had to...

    Finally, he was almost there. One leg wouldn't support him, having been shattered. He was fairly sure it was the right, though; the left had been broken during the fight. He could still use it at least, just as he forced his hands to move though the left was crushed, by those same unholy powers his brother had been endowed with.

    The same he himself was, but would not touch, for the very reason in front of him. His brother's madness showed him the price for power, and he preferred to stay sane.

    He could feel his ribs moving, shifting as he tried to force his breathing to normal again. It would hurt too much to sob, and he wasn't
     
  6. Ara-gon

    Ara-gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2005
    I've missed this story!

    I love the friendship between Drex and Zephir. It's beautifully described.

    But, oh dear, this chapter felt like the deep breath before the long plunge. War on Saren is never a good thing, especially when revivals of Sith-worshipping religions are at the core. And it's a bit shocking to realize that that war is only a small part (beginning part? Hmmm??) of the larger war still to be waged (if you go where I think you're going).

    Nuri's a sweetheart. I love her gentle stubbornness and sensitivity.

    Lovely update. Glad you're escaping from DRL.





     
  7. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I really liked how Nuri was trying to comfort Shane and not succeeding very well. At least she tried. I also liked the way you described what was going on with Ja' and how Shane wanted to help him so much and couldn't.

    Finally, he was almost there. One leg wouldn't support him, having been shattered. He was fairly sure it was the right, though; the left had been broken during the fight. He could still use it at least, just as he forced his hands to move though the left was crushed, by those same unholy powers his brother had been endowed with.

    The same he himself was, but would not touch, for the very reason in front of him. His brother's madness showed him the price for power, and he preferred to stay sane.


    Great job.
     
  8. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    I've missed this story! :_| But now it's updated again so I'm happy! :D

    Loved it. =D=
     
  9. Force_Triad

    Force_Triad Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 20, 2006
    Ara-gon Glad you've missed us! We missed us too :p Zephir and Drex's relationship happens to be one of our favorites :D Now why would you think this is the deep breath before the long plunge? ;) But yes this large war is coming and it's coming soon :D Glad you like Nuri, we're rather fond of her, especially as she's one of the only girls in our series ;) We've escaped, and we have yet another update :D Thanks for reading!

    Dianethx Well Nuri is a very good comforter and she would work on most people, but with Shane, with his tragic upbringing and Saren's darkness, he's a tighter clam than most. Glad you enjoyed it :) Thanks for reading :D

    VaderLVR Glad you liked it and that you missed us! Here's more, thanks for reading :D






    Chapter Six: There Is Within



    God, why do I storm heaven for answers that are already in my heart? Every grace I need has already been given me. Oh, lead me to the Beyond within. ~~ Macrina Wieherkehr




    The archives were a perfect refuge.

    One had access to thousands of years worth of information at one's fingertips. Material from all over the galaxy was housed here, making it the best library on all of Coruscant. It was here that nine-year-old Kyran found himself on a rainy afternoon, doing a bit of research for a class he was taking on ancient lore and history of the Jedi Order. His gaze drifted to a bust near his study corral. The face was young looking, and the eyes appeared almost warm, even on the bust. The name below read "Merrick Tryphen." Kyran knew from his class, that he was one of the founders of the original Order. There was even a statue of him at the front of the Temple, along with his twin brother Jerric.

    He turned his gaze back to his assignment and his fingers absently fiddled with the gem at his neck. He wondered if it was as old as Merrick. The one who had given it to him said it was ancient, but he had not seen Zamir since then, so could not ask. He didn't know why his thoughts were drifting that way now. He shrugged slightly and continued working.

    "You know, this bust really doesn't do him justice," was the comment from beside him. A glance would reveal Zamir, standing near the statue, fingers tracing over the jaw of the bust with familiarity.

    Kyran glanced up in surprise. "Zamir!" he said happily, pleased to see him. It had been some time since they had last seen each other.

    Those green eyes turned to him, brightening as they caught sight of him, and Zamir approached, pure grace in his every step, "It's been a long time, kidling. I'm glad you remember me."

    Kyran touched the gem at his neck and beamed a little. "Can't forget."

    Gentle fingers reached to touch his where they rested on gem, "I see you've kept it safe."

    Kyran nodded at that. "Very safe."

    Zamir studied the boy and sat down, across from him, "You've certainly grown."

    Kyran smiled. "Yep! I'm taller than Shane now!" He chirped.

    The immortal gave a faint chuckle, "You are?" he knew well he was, but he couldn't let the boy know he had been watching.

    "Not very much," Kyran added. "Just a little, but still some," he said. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you in a long time," he said accusingly.

    A slight, almost sad smile, "I have unfortunately been busy. I did wish to see you."

    Kyran's curiosity was piqued. "What were you busy with?" he couldn't help but ask.

    "I had a few missions, you might say."

    "Really? Who's your Master, or are you a Knight?" He asked, his eyes bright.

    "A Knight," in the very old sense of the word. If he counted the part of his soul that was Merrick.

    Kyran nodded in understanding. "Then of course you're very busy," he said as if that settled things. "Knights are always busy serving the galaxy. I'm going to be one someday."

    "So you are, and I imagine you shall be of the best," Zamir assured.

    Kyran grew shy at that. "Why do you say that? I'm not as good as Shane in a lot of things."

    "You are good at other things. You need not be good in what he is."

    "I shouldn't?
     
  10. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Kyran's a sweet kid. He's so innocent and I have to wonder why Merrick is telling him those things. It's true that he was able to help his master but why would Merrick tell him???

    Great job. I liked that Kyran felt ordinary next to Shane and Qui-Gon.

    Loved this.
    They had to show these people how to love again and convince them that they should change their traditions that banned any and all attachments. A difficult task indeed.

    They do indeed.
     
  11. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Wonderful!

    His Master had accepted his comfort and Kyran had felt it then.

    The raw hole in his Master?s heart had begun to close.

    It hadn?t closed a large amount, the barest fraction of an amount was all it had been, but he knew it was the start of something much larger. The Jedi Order could not change if its people did not change. For that was what the Order was made of.

    Just people.


    I especially loved that! =D=
     
  12. Ara-gon

    Ara-gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Little Ky is so cute.


    "You are the way to unlocking souls and hearts, just as your eldest is for unlocking time, and your youngest for unlocking life itself."
    That's an interesting way to look at the Triad. ::ponders what it means:: [face_thinking]

    So, how soon will the larger war be coming? [face_worried] They're all still so young, and their talents and powers still undeveloped.

    Loved how he helped his Master.


     
  13. Force_Triad

    Force_Triad Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 20, 2006
    Dianethx I'm glad you think he's sweet ;) We do too :D We're both fond of him. As far as why Merrick is telling him, well, Merrick is following the will of the Force, isn't he? ;) Kyran feels ordinary because he doesn't think he has any special power, but he didn't know his special power was his own soul :) Thanks so much for reading!

    VaderLVR Glad you enjoyed it :) Thanks for reading :)

    Ara-gon Thanks ;) We love him :D As far as the larger war, well...you'll just have to wait and see. They're very young and talents quite undeveloped.


    A/N: Very sorry it's taken us so long, I know we've been saying this a lot lately, but Darth Real Life has had us by the throat lately. It seems to have subsided a bit now. Hopefully :p This is the end of the second book :D



    Chapter Seven: Perchance To See


    The future is called "perhaps," which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the only important thing is not to allow that to scare you. ~Tennessee Williams, Orpheus Descending, 1957


    He was ready for the knock when it came. Drex quietly padded to the door, dressed in his sleep pants and a robe belted on. He palmed the door. There was no one there. He hadn't expected anyone, but the package had been delivered the same as always. His throat grew tight as he picked up the box and carried it inside. He wasn't going to open it out in the hall.

    He ignored Zephir's sympathetic glance in his direction as he placed the box on the table to see what had been sent this year.

    He opened the box and the acrid, familiar scent of preservatives hit his nostrils. When he saw what was inside, his throat tightened to the point of it being almost difficult to get air.

    Ren's heart.

    The last piece.

    Lone had always said that would be the last. The last thing he would ever bury of his beloved padawan would be the heart. The heart that had loved him with all of its might, the heart that had pumped his blood to keep him alive...and the heart that had failed him in the end and stopped pumping...

    Zephir let him be for a while, a moment, before he approached, to lightly place his hand on his shoulder, keeping silent, but letting him know he was there.

    Drex said nothing for a long moment. Eventually however, his tongue managed to get unstuck from the roof of his mouth and he said, "Zephir...I think I'll spend today alone, if you don't mind."

    Zephir's hand tightened on his shoulder, "Are you sure?" He was reluctant to leave him alone.

    He gave a small nod. "This time...I...I just need to say my final goodbye," he whispered.

    An understanding look, a lighter squeeze, "I'll be here, when you need me."

    "I know," he said softly. "Tell Shane I just needed some time to myself. You can tell him why if he asks."

    A nod, and Zephir withdrew, "I'll tell him now, most likely he?s on his way." Shane had come every year.

    "He is," Drex could feel him, pressing, but he couldn't reach back. Not now. He would later. This time he needed to do this alone. "I'll give you time to head him off before I...before I go."

    Another of his nods, and Zephir grabbed his robe as he walked out the door to do so.

    ~*~

    Drex built the pyre carefully and glanced at the box he had set aside. He closed his eyes once tightly, and after picking the box up once more, clutched it in his arms. He didn't want to burn this. He didn't want to. To do this would be the final time. He wasn't sure whether he hated Lone more for drawing it out or not. In some ways...he was able to cling to Ren more through him drawing it out, but Ren was dead. Clinging to what remained of him was not going to bring him back.

    Very slowly he took the heart out of the box and placed it on the pyre. His own heart felt about as still as the one he was about to burn. He took the torch to set fire to the pyre, but as he brought the fire closer, he wasn't sure he could do it. His arm began to tremble.

    Cold fingers, as chill as death, touched his wrist, stopping him, yet steadying him. Green eyes looked
     
  14. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    That was horrible that Drex had to burn the heart and then Ren would be gone for good. I can understand trying to keep hold of something because the alternative was too horrible.

    Kyran was certainly unsure of himself but I'm glad that Xamir was able to get him to see into the heart of things.

    Poor Qui-Gon, missing his friends. At least he has new ones in the creche.

    Good job!
     
  15. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Yet another incredible post! I was really glad to see this story was still going strong! =D=
     
  16. Ara-gon

    Ara-gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2005
    How sad. Drex has to give rites to Ren's heart. Yes, it's the end, the final thing he can do for his padawan, but he needs to let the healing sink deep. It's time.

    Interesting about Shane's brother. What will they do ultimately? Go seek him? Will the Jedi be called on to intervene in the war? Hmm? Somehow I think so.

    That was a lovely image of Kyran finally seeing himself for how Light he is.

    End of the book? ::blinks:: So quickly? Man, now you really have me scared! What's gonna happen next? [face_worried]
     
  17. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2007
    Amazing imagination.
    Tremendous emotional range.
    Very well-realized characters. The species and cultural nuances are very vivid.

    I rather like all the cuddling. It would be nice if people on earth did that more, too...

     
  18. Force_Triad

    Force_Triad Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 20, 2006
    Dianethx It was pretty bad unfortunately, for poor Drex. He didn't want to let go, but he can't keep clinging to what's been gone. Kyran and Qui-Gon as you'll find, have changed a lot now ;) Though Zamir remains much the same ;) Thanks for reading and sticking with us so long!

    VaderLVR We're still kicking around ;) DRL can't beat us, though it sure has tried it's best this year :p Thanks for jumping in and sticking with us when you did! :D

    Ara-gon Yep, Drex has always given the rites to each piece of Ren that he was given, because his padawan deserves to be laid to rest properly. He really does need to heal, though only time will tell if he gets the chance ;) You'll just have to see if any of your ideas are right ;) They just might be ;) I'm glad you liked the snippet of Ky, we liked it too :D You've been with us for a long time too and we both always sincerely appreciate your comments, they brighten our day so much!

    ratna Thank you so very much! We have tried very hard to have it be realistic as far as what Jedi might have actually been like. It's hard at times, but we're glad that everyone comes to life :D As far as the cuddling, well, if only :) Thanks so much for jumping in and reading!





    Title: The Triad Chronicles Book III: Valley of Shadows
    Author(s): Layren and Neon Star
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Dooku, OC's
    Summary: The Triad has gained in strength and power, but when the Darkness makes it's boldest move, will they be strong enough to stand, or will they fall? AU.
    Timeframe: Four years after Then The Morning Comes
    Genre: AU
    Authors' Note: This is the third book in our series. Thanks so very much to our loyal readers. You guys are the best! Sorry Darth Real Life has been kicking us so much lately. We're going to try and post at least twice a month, if not more. We had time over the holidays to get a small bit ahead and our New Year's Goal has been to get off our lazy butts and post :D :p Just a fair warning, this is going to be the darkest part of the story yet.



    Prologue: Just Before Dawn



    What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world. ~Robert E. Lee, letter to his wife, 1864




    It was almost time to return to Saren.

    Looking down from his place at the top of the highest building left standing on Ziost, he gazed upon the many workers, current apprentices, and droids working through the rubble, unearthing ten thousand year old weapons, vessels, anything of value. After the last few years, he doubted there was much left in the ruins, They had already salvaged so much, enough to bring the Jedi to their knees now, if they chose.

    He felt almost a little impatient, a little bloodthirsty. He remembered battle, he remembered slicing through flesh and bone with his teeth, his claws, his sword. He remembered the taste of death, could feel it even now.

    Ziost, the former capital of the empire, was full of death, almost more so then Saren. The feel of it was intoxicating. To merely reach out... to draw that substance in, to feel his mistress consume him from the inside out as he once had....

    Such temptation.

    If anything, he might not wait so long to strike now, destroy the Jedi.

    He had all the weapons he needed; he didn't need that fool.... And he could use these foolish few until they were of no use. He could destroy everything if he chose... Just like before. He didn't care for the Sith, or the Jedi. So why not destroy both? Wipe the slate clean.... He already had the material to start again, in the Triad.

    It would be so easy.

    She knew his thoughts, his feelings, his temptations. It would be a temptation for any being, especially one on the path such as himself. Thus why the Force had granted to her the choice to be involved in th
     
  19. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2007
    Very intricate post...


    "There have been oddities in the Order before, and they were once accepted as the Force's gift. But then, the Force itself was not always split like it is now...."

    Beautifully put diagnosis.

    Looking forward to how this develops!

     
  20. Ara-gon

    Ara-gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Well, you did warn us, so I guess I can't complain. Very interesting observations of the triad, and a great way to cover the intervening time period quickly yet efficiently.

    New characters, eh? Stirring the pot, huh? Adding the final spices is my guess. Let it simmer--then--boom! Am I close? ;)

    Interesting for Palpatine to make an appearance. He seems like a minor character, a pawn, from the perspective of Merrick. I wonder if he's more of a wild card. He could surprise everyone. Or not. Yes, I know you're not going to tell.

    Good post. Bring on the dark. I bathe in mayhem. [face_skull]



     
  21. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Lots of things going on in this post. I liked how we saw what was happening with the Triad without any actual input from them - a distant focus. Sounds like the preparation for battles to come.

    Sweet that Qui-Gon is so open and giving at the moment but Dooku will cure him somewhat of that.

    Karchin frowned slightly even as he nodded, his tail twitching. "In addition to tracking his brother, Callister has been courting a Zeltron female padawan, Nuri Aiyden for some time." He paused, "Though perhaps I shouldn't use the word courting. They have a strong attachment to each other. It started small but what started as childhood friends has become something more. I don't think Rixar is ignorant of the boy's activities with the young lady either, he merely chooses to ignore them, unless Callister comes to him for advice. I am uncertain as to how aware the Council is of this matter, given their close work with the two of them. I am under the impression, that it is not a well known thing and that those who do know, are waiting to see what will happen, merely accepting this as another stage in the experimentation process."

    "And I doubt they're aware," those eyes narrowed to slits, "The Jedi... if we weren't here to watch them, they would dig their own graves and bury themselves. Such natures, if toyed with, will lay the path of ruin."

    Karchin's eyes narrowed slightly. "The triad to them is an experiment. They have not yet begun to accept fully what the triad is for and what they're capable of doing. Therefore, perhaps they didn't learn their lesson the first time when a Jedi lay ruin an entire world's leadership from love."

    There was a vague smile, purely Merrick, "They don't learn. They've stuffed themselves into a little box and refuse to expand past it. Far from what we once were," those eyes opened fully again, "Love...love is very dangerous. As you well know."

    "Love is the most dangerous emotion in the galaxy in one hand and the sweetest in another," Karchin replied, his tail twitching and his scales darkening more now. "And I think one or two have learned, as far as the rest of the Order, that remains to be seen."



    Love is dangerous and also a light to the darkness, depending on whether it is unselfish love or possessive.

    Great job. Looking forward to more.
     
  22. Force_Triad

    Force_Triad Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 20, 2006
    ratna Thank you ;) We do try for the intricacy :D Thanks for reading!

    Ara-gon So we did warn you ;) Glad you liked how we covered the ground, we were trying to think of how to do it without documenting everything, because if we document every single detail, it's going to take us till we're as old as they are :p As far as Palpatine goes, you'll just have to wait and see, I can't say yet, can I? [face_shhh] Thanks for reading!

    Dianethx It really is and that's what we were trying to get across. Glad it worked :D Qui-Gon is very open as you'll come to see, just how sweet he is ;) Love really is very tricky, but it's essential the Jedi get it right before Anakin comes on board! :) Thanks for reading!




    [b]Chapter One: They Are One [/b]
    [i]
    Unity to be real must stand the severest strain without breaking. ~Mahatma Gandhi[/i]




    He was blindfolded, but it didn't matter. He knew the room was pitch black, knew that his companions were just as blind as he was in this. Yet, it didn't matter, as he stood there, back pressed to two others, feeling Qui-Gon shift just a bit, and Kyran tense. The last attack had been a moment ago. And....

    [i]Thirty seconds, to the right, block upwards.[/i] He passed that thought to Kyran through images, his Sight picking it up easily. Too easily.

    The sound of sparks flying, a quiet ache in his arms, even though the feeling wasn't his. He pushed his energy into Kyran, senses so connected, that it was a clear transition, enough to push the offender back into the shadows.

    Adjustments. Sense of touch shifting, to Qui-Gon now, purely at ease, purely connected to the life around. Monitoring the eight around them. That was what his youngest picked up, and passed between the three of them.

    It had been going on for what seemed like hours. They had been locked in this darkness, defending and attacking, keeping themselves back to back, protecting each other, protecting their one. It was sure to end eventually....

    He moved then, blocking, wing curling out in front of Qui-Gon, lightening jittering across it, before Kyran attacked, ducking around his shield to pierce forward, breaking the attacker's defense, driving him away, without his saber. That would be five.

    Perhaps when they claimed all eight.....

    The other wing swept up, electricity kissing every feather, warning off every touch from the outside. Leaving only one area of attack....

    [i]Nihan....[/i]

    He didn't even have to do it, their heart countered on his own, feeling the tunnel, and the surprise attack sweeping in. The other didn't stand a chance against that bright green blade that flashed into life, using the small space as an advantage to disarm whoever it was, and drive them out.

    That would be six, three of those had been Qui-Gon's claim, his skill apparent. But Kyran was still the main attacker, and Shane smirked a bit as he heard another saber clatter to the floor, in pieces, to his right, his second warning having already been sent right when he had felt Qui-Gon's move.

    Seven.

    The last would be his.....

    The blue fire along his wings ceased, as they flared out. He felt Kyran brush knowing fingers along his right, felt the pleasure course through them all. Then he flipped, over Qui-Gon, landing in front, to take care of the eight.

    The final dying sparks of a weapon came to his ears, as their opponent fell back in shock.

    The lights returned and thankfully the blindfolds prevented them from being blinded completely. Kyran pulled off his blindfold, keeping his eyes closed as he counted to ten in his head, before he opened them again. His unruly curly hair was falling in his face now that the blindfold was gone. He pushed it away from his face. He was exhausted even as he was triumphant at their success. He knew they had done very well this time around.

    He knew he'd be sore though. The fight had taken more out of him than the last few. This hadn't been a mere simulator like they were used to.

    Qui-Gon glanced at both his bondmates and he felt the so
     
  23. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    I got behind! :oops: I'm so sorry! Two really WONDERFUL updates!

    =D=
     
  24. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I liked the way you started this with the three of them training together in order to be more as one. Good action sequence. And then Shane wanting to be separate - having secrets from his other bondmates. I could certainly understand that!

    The last part was more scary. So the Jedi are the targets. Layer upon layer.

    Great job.
     
  25. Ara-gon

    Ara-gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2005
    I think it's pretty natural that Shane would have questions about the benefits of being in the Triad. It's a great honor, but it comes with a price. Of course he wants to be an individual and have some things to himself. Nice humanizing touch, there.

    Hrm. The last bit is quite complicated. It will be interesting to see how it plays out.

    More, soon?

     
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