The True Identity of Emperor Palpatine....

George Lucas got it all wrong. Senator Palpatine is NOT Darth Sidious. NEITHER one of them is Emperor Palpatine. Emperor Palpatine is actually the former insane....oops, but that'd be giving it away, hehe. So, does anyone want to hear where Emperor Palpatine REALLY came from, and what galaxy-spanning conspiracy put him there?

 

Okay, well, I'm in a posting mood so I'll continue anyway... Um, just for the record, this isn't serious in any way shape or writing style...DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE FARCE!

A not so long time ago in a galaxy far far away from the galaxy far far away...

It was a period of great boredom. Fourth period to be exact. Trapped in class, students minds snapped in insanity, and a Great Rebellion against the cruel Administration arose. But that's beside the point.

Meanwhile in India, an insane Hindu guy named Swan Singh was running down the lane. His two sons were watching him. No one knew why or how he was insane, and since he was insane he didn't know either. Only one being, Amber the Communist Kitty, knew why he was running down the lane. Screaming maniacally, he ran from the green globs he hallucinated chasing him....

---PLEASE REPLY---

 

Swan Singh ran screaming down the lane, into the darkness that was beginning to engulf the Indian countryside. His two sons watched, horrified yet strangely amused by their now-crazy father's plight. No one knew how he'd gotten that way. He just suddenly was. Spontaneous mental combustion. They watched as he sprinted over the crest of a hill and dissappeared into the night. Wait a minute--it was dark, but it was also one o'clock in the afternoon. THAT couldn't be good. The two boys looked at each other, and then up at the sky. What they saw soaring across the once-azure zenith made them tremble with awe and fear; immediatly, they dropped to their knees and bowed up and down, saying "Mooooo, moooomooo, mooomomomomomoooo..."

Swan Singh ran. He didn't know why, or what, or how, or much of anything at all, which was understandable, since he was insane. He burst out of a grove of trees into an open field. It was empty, save for a lone cow grazing. The cow glanced at Swan Singh, then went back to the more immediate task at hand--eating. Swan Singh, for lack of something better to do, glanced up into the dark sky. Even through his insanity, he was shocked and amazed. A huge gray sphere was blocking out the sun. It looked like a small moon, with a crater in it. What was painted on it(actually, it was some leftover spraypaint, but he doesn't have to know that) made him gasp. It was the sacred symbol of the cow!! Like all the other Hindis around the world, he immediatly bowed down and uttered the sacred mantra. The cow in the field just stared at him. Swan Singh watched in amazement as a speck detatched itself from the great cow-moon(Death Star, for those of you who haven't figured that out) and dropped out of the sky like a shooting star, landing with a whine of repulsors on the grassy field. It was what would become known as a lambda class shuttle, but Swan Singh didn't know that. The cow, annoyed that the ship's repulsor's had fried a particularly scrumptious-looking morsel of grass, continued to stare. With the hiss that always comes with the release of pressurized air, the door of the ship slid open, revealing a four-legged creature inside.

TO BE CONTINUED

--Note: because I'm in a posting mood, I will continue adding to this story till someone tells me to stop, MUAHAHA---
arakay

 

You should post more. I don't care if no one replies!! Mr. J. would be proud...I think....
I do have the advantage of knowing the end of of the story--lol!

 

I'm bringing this to the top in hopes that someone will respond and you'll write more....

 

Okay, I'm in a mood to laugh. More please!! I like the comment about fourth period. How true!

 

YEAH A REPLY!!
And from Luke Skywalker himself, no less!
To hopefully attract more people, I made another post called "Freak Wars Episode I: The Phantom Hindu v2.0"--that should get some sideways glances, at least... Anyway, a lot more is posted there!

Arakay

 

Upping for the move