The trying life of a Jedi apprentice(humor,original char,reference to Obi + Ani)HEY I POSTED 1/7/02!

The life of Tania Delwyn, padawan to Aidan Kerr. Tania is mischievous, to say the least. She gets herself into a lot of trouble. She is 14 in the beginning. A look at what comicla situations could occur in Star Wars.

Entry #1 Hello journal
I don't know how this is supposed to work. Master says that if I want, it might make me feel more confortable to name you. But what do you name a journal? It's a journal, no matter what you do to it. You can twist it, turn it, and it still won't talk back!

I guess I might as well get this over with. Master Perani gave you to me, said I might like to write. Guess she doesn't know much, I HATE writing. I mean, I already know what happened, and since no one else reads this, what's the point?!

The only reason I'm doing this is because Master Kerr says I have to. He says reading what I've done each day might make me understand what I did wrong. Whatever. Still, if I write a simple entry, maybe he'll leave me alone and let me watch Misadventures of a Jedi. I love that show! Master says it's stupid. It's funny! They take stories of missions gone wrong, and then exaggerate them. It comes off soooo funny.

I know why master doesn't like the show is because it hits too close to home. Can I help it that we're jinxed? He says that it has nothing to do with being jinxed, it's that I'm irresponsible.

Well, was it my fault I left my lightsaber in Master Yoda's seat at the spars, and he sat on it? Course not!

Why am I pouring my heart out? My show is on, and I'm wasting time talking to a datapad!

Ok, here's my first entry.

My name is Tania Delwyn. I'm 14, and padawan to Aidan Kerr. I'm a human, he's a shape shifter, which is really cool to watch. I've been his padawan for 3 years.

What did I do today?

Let's see. Umm, I woke up, had a Gadi fruit for breakfast, went for a jog around the temple. Ran in to Obi-Wan Kenobi, literally, who must have had a bad time with Anakin today, because he lectured me for 5 minutes.

Obi-Wan finally gave up...I went and had a spar with a friend, came back, and opened the door to a very wet and angry master.

I left the water on in the 'fresher when I washed my face today. He slipped and got wet. Oops.

Got a huge lecture for that.

Handed him a towel and went to get lunch.

Ate lunch, went to the artificial lake room, and accidentallyy pushed Master Yoda off his rock were he was meditating into the lake when I ran past. Yoda yelled a lot of profanities in his own language that I've never heard. I stored them away for future use.

Apologized, helped Yoda out of lake, gave him his gimer stick, which turned out to be a mistake. My kneecaps are still burning, and I haven't even gotten a lecture from Master about it.

Went back home, and found Master sprawled on the floor of my room. He had slipped on my model ship kit, which I forgot to pick up. My dresser had fallen on him.

Helped him up, proceeded to get another lecture. *sigh*

When he finished, I was sent to my room to write in my journal, because there was no way I could get in trouble doing that. HONESTLY!

And he says I'm irresponsible! I say we're jinxed, what do you think? Some sith has put a spell on us and we don't know it.

What was that crash? Uh-oh, master yelling for me, better go.


Was it funny at all?

 

LOL! Jacinta, I like! I hope you write more!

 

Well, ok, then I'll post again!

Entry #2 I swear it wasn't my fault!
I can't believe I'm locked in my room. I'm being punished for something I didn't even do! I'm on restriction from basically everything for two whole weeks. Does that sound fair?

Ok, here's what happened.

Today, I was in the training rooms, and everyone else left. I was there alone, and I just suddenly felt like twirling. So I did. Round and round and round and round, using the force so I won't get dizz.

Anakin Skywalker came in. He's 14. He saw me, and said, "What in the name of the force are you doing?" In a really snotty voice.

*Little note: I DESPISE Anakin Skywalker.* I looked at him and told him I was spinning around.

He says, again in a nasty voice, "Why would you do something like that? Only the 5 year old initiates do that!"

Ok, so I got mad there. So I wanted to get back at him. So?

I smiled slightly. "Well, it's REALLY fun if you use the force to help you spin." I neglected to mention that I only use it to keep from getting dizzy. I knew he would over do it.

Anakin got this weird look on his face. I told him I had to go. I did.

Apparently, he went back to his rooms with Obi-Wan, and started spinning. He used the force to make every object in the room spin with him.

Obi-Wan came out of his bedroom door to see what was going on. Anakin's lightsaber, which was spinning, hit him in the head.

So he got a little concussion. He still hasn't stopped yelling profanity and calling evil upon Qui-Gon's force ghost.

Obi-Wan wanted to punish Anakin, but no one would let him when Anakin told them what I'd said in that morning. Somehow, it was decided that it was my fault, and now I am on restriction, and Master is trying to deal with an irritated council.

Life as a jedi apprentice really can stink, especially if you have to have classes with a bratty "chosen one."

Well, that one any good Neon? More reference to Obi and Ani than the last?

 

He still hasn't stopped yelling profanity and calling evil upon Qui-Gon's force ghost.

LOL! Yep, Obi would blame Qui when trouble comes! I still like it!

 

Ok, well neon, I went and wrote another! AHHH! RUN AND HIDE!

Entry #3 Master has a cold.

Well, sorry it's been so long.My restriction was over a long time ago, and Obi-Wan's head has healed, though when he found out that it was supposedly "my" fault, he started glaring at me and he hasn't stopped. Once, he was walking past me and he whispered something about my being Qui-Gon's helper.

Sometimes Obi-Wan is irritating, but I can never be mad at him cause....well, who in the world would want Anakin as an apprentice?

Anakin has been smirking at me lately in classes. Someday, I swear, I'm going to get him so bad, and I'm not going to get in trouble for it.

Anyway, as to the title of this post.

Master Kerr is in his room sneexing, sniffing, coughing, and cursing me every once in a while at the top of his lungs. He caught a cold last night in the rain. And he blames me. Intrigued?

Ok, I needed to go get something in my master plan for getting back at Anakin from the market on Coruscant, which is really cool. It's inside a plexi-glass building, and it's huge! Anyway, Master said I couldn't go.

I HAD TO GO! So I snuck out when he was visiting Obi-Wan, having their weekly conversation about "The horrors of apprentices" over a cup of caffe.

Now, Obi-Wan, I understand, but me? I figure that Master's got it pretty good, know what I mean? Especially compared to Obi-Wan, he's got a lot of nerve to complain to him.

Anway, I got out. He found out, went after me.

It started raining. I was out in the street when he found me. He started lecturing me, I suggested we go inside out of the rain. He wouldn't, said I was avoiding punishment.

He's got a cold, what can I say? And he blames me.

Well, I'll get back at him. I'll just feed him a bunch of terrible, awful tasting teas and stuff.

Oh, Ma-aster!

 

LOL! Can I say that the kid or the Master is jinx!

 

That's really funny!
Man, I glad I'm not her

 

I laughed so loudly the neighbours must've heard me.

Yoda falling into the water...

x Clare x

 

Well, even though I seriously doubt all you guy's sanity for liking this, here's another post.

Entry 4: Misery tastes like soap.

You know how I was gloating (only a bit!) a little while ago about how Master was sick and I was going to feed him that horrible tea and stuff?

He gave his cold to me. I am now wrapped in blankets up to my chin, sneezing, coughing, weezing, gagging down horrible stuff, and cursing Anakin at the top of my lungs when I get the chance. It's all his fault, if only I didn't have to have a master plan to get back at him, I wouldn't be sick.

The plan's coming brilliantly by the way. Boy, will Anakin be suprised!

If I sound totally incoherent, it's because my head is going to explode. And during all this, Master is running around humming the tune to some stupid show about doctors, and handing my glass after glass of that tea muck. I suspect strognly that it's mud imported from Yoda's home planet, Dagobah. It's certainly thick enough, and the right color and texture. It tastes like soap, and I've decided misery must taste the same way. The only reason I drink it is so master will disappear and let me be in agony in peace, and hopefully soon, die in peace.

Master has developed this grin that looks like it belongs on a sith. He always has it when he comes in my room, bearing that foul crud.

Yick, he's making more, I can smell it, even with a stuffed nose.

Well, at least I haven't had to see Anakin's smirk lately, Chosen one, my.....

HELP! HE'S GOT ANOTHER GLASS! Got to go, or he'll say I'm wasting my energy and take you away, like the holovision(hv). I missed every good program. Anyway, bye. If I don't die, which I doubt, I'll write more later.

 

I think I can understand how she feels!

Very funny, Jacinta!

 

Thanks Neon. I am still trying to work out the kinks of her master plan before I post, so for now, later.

 

Ok, I finallt figured her plan out. Poor Obi is all I can say. Here goes.

Entry 5: Alright, I admit it, I'm hiding.

Hi. I got over that stupid cold about a week ago, no thanks to Master Kerr, who seemed intent on torturing me forever which that crud he calls medicine.

He needs his head examined.

Anyway, I have been busy with my master plan, you know, the one that wouldn't backfire?

It did. And I'm hiding. Obi-Wan is going to kill me when he finds me.

Ok, I decided that I would use this lock overrider I bought with, ahem, my OWN credits. (Ok, so I took Master's credit voucher. It didn't cost THAT much. When he see the bill, he'll kill me too! Can you die twice? Which one do I want to kill me?)

I used this overrider on Obi-Wan and Anakin's rooms, got inside, checked the place out. I went into Obi-Wan's bedroom, and I couldn't believe my luck.

Obi-Wan has a crush on, guess who, MASTER PETIAL!!!!! She's like, 5 years older than him! It's so hilarious! He wrote a love letter to her, it was in his drawer, on a datapad.

It's the funniest thing I ever read. I hope no one is nearby and can hear me giggling. So, I figured, this is perfect. I left a note on the datapad that made it seem like Anakin had left it, and put it in front of Petial's door.

She found it. And the funniest thing is, she has absolutely no interest in Obi-Wan.

The woman has no tastes, I'm 14, and even I know that!!!!

She thought it was funny, and unfortunately, she wasn't alone when she read it. It's all obver the temple.

And Obi-Wan knows Anakin didn't do it.

How was I supposed to know Anakin wasn't even here. He apparently is visiting Queen Amidala, who has come to the Senate.

I am in so much trouble. But still....I CAN'T HELP LAUGHING, IT WAS SO FUNNY!

Uh-oh....the door's opening to the closet I'm hiding in......I hope no one heard me!

Oh, uh, Hi, Master Kenobi?

 

I love this! Let's have some more soon, please!

 

Whoa! After almost a month, I got interested in this again! Here's my post!

Entry 6:I'm in pain....
Everything hurts. I never thought Obi-Wan could be cruel, but he definitely has some Sith qualities about him. He dragged me from the closet by my braid, and down the hall. I got dragged on the floor because I couldn?t get up quickly enough, and I am so sore. I am angry at him.

My master and Obi-Wan made me lie and say that I wrote the letter. I thought Jedi weren?t supposed to lie! Now the council has me doing anything Obi-Wan asks for the next month. Anakin has returned, and since he is Obi-Wan?s padawan. He delights in making messes that Obi-Wan will make me clean up. I hate him?

The only good thing is that I don?t have to stay with my master, since I am sleeping on the couch at Obi-Wan?s in order to make him breakfast. My master?s eyes have turned red, I think. He is not happy. I here he went to the mind healer this morning?

Maybe I should get a new master...Master Kerr seems to be wearing out, and I think he needs to retire, he has started chewing on the sleeve of his robe....hmmm....

Anyway, I need sleep so I can concentrate on Obi-Wan and his brat padawan's beck and call, and recuperate from my trip through the temple by my braid...night.

 

double.

 

Entry 7:Maybe being a slave isn?t so bad?.
I woke up this morning, made Obi-Wan some breakfast, ironed his robe, and cleaned up his apartment. He came out, looked around, then came and put an arm around my shoulders. ?Not bad?.Thanks.? He said.

I don?t why he thanked me, I HAD to do it, but it made me feel better.

He liked breakfast. ?Living with Qui-Gon Jinn, I never learned to cook well. All Qui-Gon could manage was burnt bantha!? That made me laugh, and he smiled.

Then HE came out, and both of us turned glum. Anakin gave me three smirks, left his dishes, and then asked me to get his books for his classes and his robe. Stuck-up little?.

I am excused from classes for the time being. WHOOHOO!

When he left, I told Obi-Wan that I felt sorry for him. We had this big discussion, and Obi-Wan was really nice. I like him a lot more than I used to.

Anyway, I gave him a cup of caffe, which he drank, put on his robe, which earned me another grin, and left to talk to the council.

I went to do my work from my classes. Maybe being a slave isn?t too bad after all.

 

Oops, lost this...

I never claimed to be fully sane, Jacinta.

Funny posts.

x Clare x

 

Thanks Clare. I think this died.....

 

no JK, this hasn't died yet. I just found it. Very Funny.

 

WHOOHOO IT HASN'T DIED!!!!!

Thank you. In that case, whenever I regain control of my life (yeah, RIGHT,) from the clutches of DRL, I will post.

 

This is funney

Looking forward to more

 

I WANT MORE! I WANT MORE!

Two thumbs way way up!

 

I will post more as soon as possible....at the moment....well, I am working on a story that I am planning on putting up soon, and that's taking up time.

 

Ok I need more. This is great.