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Before - Legends The Ultimate Betrayal JA/AU Author's note 6/28

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by jedimommie2, May 3, 2004.

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  1. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    May 3, 2004
    Hi! I have been lurking long enough---I finally got up the courage to post. This is my first attempt at writing Star Wars you'll be able to tell, my favorite is Obi-Wan! Anyway, I'm posting this to see what people think. I appreciate constructive feedback very much!

    I know that the basis of this story has been done before--but I hopefully will be able to provide a twist!

    Disclaimer: I don't own anything pertaining to Star Wars---this is for personal pleasure!

    The Ultimate Betrayal
    Part 1

    Obi-Wan Kenobi stood alone in the training room, beautifully executing the katas that he had known since he was an initiate. Many of the later ones, he had taught himself. He had spent a lot of time alone the past couple of years---ever since Tahl had died and his master had decided he would not open himself to heartache anymore.

    Even when they had been on missions, Qui-Gon would keep his distance. They were able to function as one during whatever mission they had been on, but as soon as it was over, the wall Qui-Gon had built would slam back into place.

    As he completed his final kata, he sensed that he was being watched. He powered down his saber and grabbed his towel, wiping the sweat from his brow.

    "I don't think that I've ever seen that last kata executed so well."

    Obi-Wan turned around to find that his senses were correct. He graciously bowed as Master Li've Namow approached him. He did not know very much about her except that she had recently returned to the temple from a long sabbatical. Obi-Wan could not decide what was more beautiful about Master Namow. Was it her slender face with the deepest green eyes he had ever seen or was it the way she carried herself across the room with her long red hair flowing about her face? She belonged to the Swehsac race---a race known for their beauty, grace, and ability to be very persuasive if necessary. Obi-Wan finally found his voice to speak, "Thank you, Master."

    "You're welcome Padawan...Kenobi--isn't it?"

    "Yes, it is. How did you know my name?"

    She smiled as she moved closer to him. "You're very well thought of here at the temple. You have a lot of friends."

    Obi-Wan slightly blushed at her praise. "There's no need to be embarrassed--your master must be very proud."

    He tried to force a smile at her, but the effort was strained. He cursed inwardly for letting his shields slip in front of Master Namow. He recovered quickly as he turned to gather his things. Master Namow was not blind to the fact that his mood had changed at the mention of his master. "Obi-Wan, are you alright?"

    "Yes. I've really got to go. I've got a test to prepare for tomorrow."

    Master Manow smiled. "Very well, padawan. However, I would like you to show me those variations on that last kata you were performing."

    "I would be honored, Master. I'll have some spare time tomorrow afternoon."

    "Until tomorrow then."

    Obi-Wan respectfully bowed once again and made his way out of the training room.

    Master Namow watched him leave. It was going to be a shame to destroy this handsome young man--but she had no other choice. First she would claim his innocence, then his soul, and then his life. She gained satisfaction knowing that Qui-Gon Jinn would stand by and watch it happen as she destroyed both master and apprentice...
  2. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Mar 2, 2004
    Whoa... now that took me by surprise! Wow... great beginning! Gonna bring Obi down to get to Qui.. wow and that definitely would be the end of Qui-Gon if Obi would die. Wowzers...
  3. PadawanEstel

    PadawanEstel Jedi Master star 1

    Jan 23, 2004
    oooooooooooooooh... not good... Scary lady! Bad scary lady! Keep going, It's really good!

    And what do you mean by First she would claim his innocence, then his soul, then his life... ? that sounds... not very nice. *shudder*
    poor Obi...
  4. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    Hm, long as she's claiming it in a PG sort of way... ;)

    Poor Obi-Wan. Question is, does Qui-Gon know why this chick has it in for him?
  5. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    May 2, 2004
    Well, she's not very nice now is she? I look forward to seeing where you go with this one!
  6. waterlilee

    waterlilee Jedi Youngling

    Apr 23, 2004
    ooh, evil lady, evil lady....look out, Obi-Wan!!

    good start...really like what you've done so far...keep going!!

  7. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Oct 30, 1999
    Yep - that's piqued my interest too. Who is this lady?

  8. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 31, 2001
    this looks like one to watch
  9. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    May 3, 2004
    Thank you all so much for the wonderful feedback and encouragement. I truly didn't expect this! Anyway, individual comments and the next part of the story will be coming up soon, hopefully tomorrow sometime, possibly sooner (if I can figure how to update this story---I'm new to this so if someone wants to tell me how to do this---I'd appreciate it).
  10. Sticks-Solo

    Sticks-Solo Jedi Youngling star 2

    May 11, 2001
    That was well written... much better then my first attempt. I'll have to watch how it unfolds, very interesting. Hope you don't hurt Obi-Wan too much, or Qui-Gon for that matter.

  11. galaxy_goddess

    galaxy_goddess Jedi Youngling

    Apr 8, 2004
    Oooo! I can't wait to read the rest! this is gonna be interesting.

    SimmiVan ;)
  12. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    May 3, 2004
    The Ultimate Betrayal
    Part 2

    Obi-Wan made his way back to the quarters that he shared with his master. He always dreaded returning to his quarters because he usually spent the evenings alone in his room studying, which is what he would do tonight. His mind could not help but to wander back to his brief conversation with Master Namow. She truly was beautiful and did not understand why she had seemed to seek him out. He was pulled from his thoughts as he palmed open the door to their quarters. ?Good evening, Master.?

    Qui-Gon looked up from the data pad that he had been studying. ?You?re late, Padawan.?

    Obi-Wan bowed respectfully. ?Forgive me Master; I was detained in the training room. I?ll begin preparing evening meal immediately.?

    ?Why were you detained??

    Obi-Wan was surprised by the question. He stopped in the door frame of the kitchen and turned to face his Master. ?I was just talking with someone.?

    Qui-Gon looked up from his book. ?Padawan, I am not in the habit of pulling answers from you. Who were you talking with and what were you talking about that was so important, it made you late??

    ?Master Namow came in the training room as I was finishing my workout. She was just?complimenting my style.? Obi-Wan?s face reddened slightly as he told Qui-Gon of Master Namow?s praise.

    Qui-Gon put his book down and narrowed his eyes as if he were boring holes right through
    Obi-wan. ?I want you to stay away from Master Namow. Do you understand me??

    Obi-Wan was taken back for a moment. ?Master? How do you know her??

    ?It doesn?t matter, Padawan. I gave you an instruction and I expect you to follow it.?

    ?You haven?t told me why??

    ?I don?t have to tell you why! You are my Padawan and I am your Master---you will obey me. Do I make myself clear?? Qui-Gon had stood to his full height to help emphasize his point.

    ?I understand.? Obi-Wan went into the kitchen to begin preparations for the evening meal. He was puzzled at his Master?s reaction---there has to be some connection and it was obvious that Qui-Gon had no intentions of telling Obi-Wan anything. Obi-Wan didn?t know why he let that fact bother him?he had gotten used to his Master not talking to him and telling him anything. He was supposed to meet Master Namow tomorrow afternoon?perhaps she would tell him. He knew that he was not supposed to see her but he had to know what the history was between them. Obi-Wan was always trying to rationalize why his Master acted t he way that he did but the only reason he could come up with was that there was something wrong with him. Obi-Wan strived to be the perfect Padawan, but always fell short in Qui-Gon?s eyes. Nothing he could ever do would make Qui-Gon love him like he loved Tahl and even Xanatos. Maybe if he could talk to Master Namow, he would be able to take a little of the blame off himself.

    He set the table and placed the prepared food on the table. Without saying a word, Qui-Gon came and sat down and began to eat. Obi-Wan did likewise, waiting for his Master to make conversation, but once again their meal was eaten in silence. Obi-Wan cleaned up and then retired to his room for the evening so he could study for a test. His comm unit was flashing indicating that there was a message for him. He went and hit the selector button to play it. The message was from Master Namow.

    ?Padawan Kenobi, I just wanted you to know that it was a true pleasure meeting you today. I noticed that you seemed troubled?please know that although we are strangers, I want you to know that I can help you. I always meditate in the old gardens in the evenings if you need to talk. If I don?t see you before, I am looking forward to tomorrow afternoon.?

    Obi-Wan stopped the player and returned to his studying, but he could not focus on what he was doing. He really wanted to talk to Master Namow?he needed to talk to someone. Sometimes the weight of being Qui-Gon?s apprentice was too much?especially when the apprentice was never wanted to begin with. He put his cloak on and
  13. Vampi_Digitalwytch

    Vampi_Digitalwytch Jedi Youngling star 3

    Apr 11, 2004
    So far so good. Each time I see Namow's name I keep hearing Live No More in my head, so I'm wondering if there isn't something else going on with why Qui-Gon's less than thrilled about her.

    Maybe it's the horror afficianado in me speaking up, but the choice of the old gardens for meditating along with the other keeps having me think vampire. *chuckles at her own musings*
  14. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Mar 2, 2004
    Ack! Ack! Witch with a 'b'! Grrr!
    ;) Great work!! Totally makes her story believable! Well to me anyways! Poor Obi.. torn...

    Can't wait for next postie!!!
  15. Opal

    Opal Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 17, 2003
    Well, this looks very interesting. I 'll keep my eye out for the updates.

    And just so you know, there can never be too many Obi writers, so I look forward to reading lots and lots of stories from you.

  16. The_Hutt

    The_Hutt Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jan 7, 2004
    Ooooh! Stay away from her Obi-Wan, she's a tart! And an evil vengeful one at that! This is your first thread, jedimommie2? You write well, and this is an interesting plot. I suggest Qui gets his butt in gear and stops being a prat. Only a suggestion, and good job!
  17. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    May 3, 2004
    Kynstar Thanks for being the first reply. Glad it caught your attention.

    PadawanEstel You're so right---she's not very nice! Thanks for reading.

    Mistress_Renata Quigon knows her---the trouble is keeping his padawan away from her. Thank you for reading.

    AnakinsHeir No--she isn't nice. Thanks for reading--hope you continue to enjoy it!

    waterlilee Thanks so much for the encouraging words.

    Kit' Stay tuned to find out the identity of this mystery lady!

    PadawanKitara Thanks for reading---I appreciate it.

    Sticks_Solo Thanks for reading--although I can't make any promises about not hurting Obiwan or Quigon!

    galaxy_goddess Glad you enjoyed it!

    Vampi_Digitalwytch You are so close on the meaning of her name! Keep reading and see if you can figure it out!

    Kynstar[/b} Glad to see you back. Next post should hopefully be posted sometime tomorrow. Thanks for reading!

    Opal I agree with you that there can never be too many Obi stories. I'm so glad you're enjoying it.

    The_Hutt Thanks so much for the kind words--I truly appreciate it. I have a feeling that Obi won't listen to your advice!

    Thanks to ewen for the kind and encouraging remarks.

    A special thanjks to LuvEwan for all the help that you gave me earlier.
  18. Sticks-Solo

    Sticks-Solo Jedi Youngling star 2

    May 11, 2001
    I don't trust her Obi! A good Padawan listens to his Master, great character development. Namow must be bad for Qui to act so strongly.
  19. galaxy_goddess

    galaxy_goddess Jedi Youngling

    Apr 8, 2004
    I am enjoying this and can't wait for the next posts, Qui-Gon is pretty grumpy, sheesh it's more like Grinch-Gon Jinn. Poor Obi (reaches out to him somehow gives him a hug, I wish! :D )
    Oh, and I also like heaps that you are writing the characters well!
    keep it up,

    SimmiVan ;)
  20. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    May 3, 2004
    Sticks-Solo Bad doesn't even begin to cover it! Thanks for reading!!

    galaxy_goddess I'm so glad that you are enjoying it. Here is the next post!

    Obi-Wan made his way back to the quarters he shared with his master, his mind trying to rationalize what had happened between him and Master Namow. The story that she had told him seemed to answer the questions that he had. Master Jinn had blamed Master Namow for being the catalyst leading to Xanatos? fall. Obi-Wan knew from personal experience that the blame would never be accepted by his master. Qui-Gon?s method of dealing with the ghosts of the past was to push his present Padawan into believing he had no choice but to be perfect. Obi-Wan sighed as he found his thoughts focused back on Master Namow. Obi-Wan found that he could not fault Xanatos for falling for Master Namow?she truly was beautiful. His thoughts were drawn back to their time in the garden where he remembered her gentle caress and her kind words?and he remembered her kiss. The kiss that took him by surprise the first time and that he found himself wanting to return the second time. He was so confused by the feelings that were stirring inside him?but where could he turn? ?Certainly not Master Qui-Gon,? he mumbled to himself. He palmed opened the door and entered the living area. He had to try and focus in order to study for his test. He quietly slipped into the small kitchen and poured himself some tea. He was startled as the light came on and he turned around to face his master.

    Qui-Gon leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms, his eyes once again boring holes into his Padawan. ?Padawan, where have you been at such a late hour??

    Obi-Wan reinforced his shields, hoping that his master had not picked up on his earlier thoughts. ?I was having trouble studying, so I went for a walk and to mediate in the old gardens.?

    ?I see.? Qui-Gon?s eyes narrowed slightly. ?Were you alone??

    ?Master? Why are you asking that question? Who would I be with?? Obi-Wan turned away from Qui-Gon and began to rinse out his cup, hoping to avoid the question that he knew would be next.

    ?Were you with Master Namow?? Qui-Gon waited for Obi-Wan to answer his question, but when he was met with silence, he received the answer. ?I see.? Qui-Gon paused, collecting himself before he continued. ?Did I not tell you to stay away from her??

    Obi-Wan would not look at his master, keeping his back turned towards Qui-Gon, bracing his hands on the sink. ?Yes sir, you did.?

    ?Is there a reason that you felt it necessary to disobey me?? Qui-Gon was attempting to keep his voice calm, but it was proving difficult.

    ?I?I just wanted to know what you had against her and since you were not going to tell me, I asked her.? Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon?s iron grip on his arm as he turned him around. He found himself mere centimeters from Qui-Gon?s face?his normally serene sapphire eyes were now a sea of turmoil.

    ?Do not believe anything that woman tells you. She has a difficult time discerning fact from fiction. I will tell you one more time to stay away from her?do I make myself clear??

    Obi-Wan resented being treated like he was thirteen years old again. ?If what she told me wasn?t the truth?why don?t you tell me what is the truth??

    ?Because I am the master and you are the padawan. I am not obligated to tell you everything. You are just going to have to trust my judgment.? Qui-Gon stepped back from Obi-Wan, releasing him as if to signal that the discussion was over.

    ?How can I? You tell me to trust your judgment, but you won?t tell me why. You always do that---you expect everything you say to be taken at face value and as the final word. That may have worked when I was thirteen, but it doesn?t now.? Obi-Wan knew that he should not have said anything, but there was no taking it back. He did not back down from Qui-Gon?s glare nor did he move as Qui-Gon came back towards him.

    ?I see that she has already instilled disrespect in you and I will not tolerate it.
  21. Opal

    Opal Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 17, 2003
    Evil...Evil woman! This is such a fun story so far. I'm so glad you decided to post it.

    On a personal note, am I correct to assume from your user id that you also have aspiring Jedi running about?
  22. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Mar 2, 2004
    No kidding! Evil wench! But that second of her actually feeling bad about doing what she has to do was nice hehehe

    Speaking of insubordination! hehehe and fratinizing (sp) amongh higher ranking Jedi! *Tsk* *tsk* For shame young Obi-Wan! hehehehe And a Master to say the least! hehehe

    Can't wait to see more!! Ahhh and Qui admited he cared for Obi!!!!! A pity the boy didn't hear...
  23. The_Hutt

    The_Hutt Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jan 7, 2004
    Oooh! She is such a punk! Still, I guess that with the way Qui-Gon is acting, Obi-Wan could be easily taken with someone who seems so interested in him, and by someone who is so beautiful. If Obi-Wan is Qui-Gon's life, why doesn't he show it? Grief does funny things to people sometimes. I hope Obi-Wan doesn't get too attached to her. I'm think we've all learned that romantic relationships with dark vengeful jedi (ahem, padme & anakin!) don't work out wonderfully. Qui-Gon needs to wake up and stop being selfish, because lonliness can do funny things to people too. Anyways, great post!
  24. Jedi_Knight150

    Jedi_Knight150 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 26, 2002

    I can't keep quiet anymore, this is just getting too good! So how old is Obi in this fic? :confused:
  25. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    May 3, 2004
    Opal I'm so glad you are enjoying the story. Thanks for being such a loyal reader. In response to your personal question---yes I have one aspiring jedi who is 7 and one who is almost 2 and will also be one if his brother or I have anything to say about it!

    KynstarThanks for being so dedicated to reading my story...I'm honored. Yes, our dear Obiwan will be over his head before too much longer. Quigon will also come to realize how important it is for Obiwan to know how important he is to Quigon--but it will take a while.

    The_Hutt Glad you are enjoying it. I'm afraid that Obi will learn his lesson the hard way as will Quigon. You were right in your statement about Obiwan being easily taken with Li've...he has a lot of insecurities and she knows how to play on them and does without hesitation. Again, I appreciate you reading my story.

    Jedi_Knight150 Glad you stopped lurking. I am a former lurker as well. I'm so flattered that you thought my story was good enough to de-lurk. Obi is 17==if I'm remembering right...Obi was 15 when Tahl died and this is about 2 years later. If I'm wrong, please feel free to let me's been a while since I've read the JA series. Thanks again for taking time to read!

    I am working on the next part and it should be up sometime tomorrow! Thanks again to everyone for their support and encouragement!
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