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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

The Ultra Stressed Jedi Students, Part IV

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jane Jinn, Jul 19, 2000.

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  1. _Derisa_Ollamhin_

    _Derisa_Ollamhin_ Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2000
    Hey all, again, sorry about the delay: with things as busy as they are, once a week is working out to be more workable than once a day. I apologise for the change, but RL is what it is.

    I really appreciate the feedback from you all, I have to let you know that. It's encouraging and reminds me what it is that grabbed me about sharing fanfic that first time, and what's kept me coming back.

    This next post owes itself to two people: JediKnightObi-Wan for her generosity in allowing me the use of her characters and storylines, and Rani Veko, who helps me get into these character's heads, as well as being a truly brill beta-reader and idea-source.

    I'd planned this post from day one, but it was an effort of will to write. I hope it reads as well as it plays in my head.

    We're coming down to the crunch now. There's less than ten posts left. The number keeps changing because more niggly bits keep popping up that desperately need resolution, but one of these has led to a concept of rare genius from Rani, and I am in the process of hammering out the details of this development with the particular author... But as I'd like to tease you loyal few a teensy bit, I have to say that it's going to end this saga with an immense bang!

    (And no, it's not the long threatened demolition of the Temple by a mentally deranged Exemplar, either, although it might have been if I'd finished this before April First... ;) )

    Well, on to the meat of this post. As I said, I hope it meets with approval. :) <---- tired smile

    *Derisa*




    Standing at the top of the precipice, Alex Arieh felt a brisk rush of elation that quickly turned into trepidation. He had always loved heights, but this wasn?t a pinnacle overlooking some spectacular vista. It was a sheer, dangerous cliff that plunged down a high precipice into a chasm of unknowable depth.

    It felt like nothing so much as a trap.

    Looking over the cliff with him, Rani drew his attention to a small projection. ?There?s a ledge down there, Alex,? she told him, ?Easily in reach of the ropes.? Alex retrieved the map from her belt pouch and consulted it.

    ?Yes, it?s marked here,? he replied, ?And there?s a tunnel leading off it. We have to go down there.? Rani gave him a calm smile, and he responded in kind as she began to uncoil the rope from her belt. Since she had told him as they walked across the plateau of her injurious fall, that had left her paralysed and suffering a long slow recovery, he'd been apalled that she had suffered so much. Now facing another steep climbing challenge, he watched her for any signs that she was uncomfortable, but she seemed cool and competent as she unreeled their line and tied the pulley rig for them to rappel down the cliff.

    Alex rolled his shoulder, controlling the urge to wince in pain. Rani gave him a sharp glance, and Alex responded with a wry grimace. There?s no keeping secrets from her, is there? he found himself wondering when she had learned to use her natural empathy so well. The Rani he knew...is five years older now, Alex, he reminded himself firmly, She?s sure to have picked up a few tricks in that time. But this was his physical Trial too, and it would be counter-productive to allow the two younger Jedi to do all the work. He tested his shoulder again, but it felt strong enough for the rappeling.

    It was the work of a few short minutes to anchor the pulley rig to the top of the cliff overlooking the ledge and tunnel entrance, and then Alex led the way down the rockface to the tunnel, with Rani following shortly thereafter. They left their rope in case they needed it to get back to the top of the bluff for their pick-up and the end of the Trial. As the two proceeded down the tunnel, Alex felt again that sense that they were heading into danger, and he gestured for Rani to stay back a bit while he scouted up ahead.

    The air was close and hard to breathe, and a gaseous fog clung to the floor of the tunnel, swirling sluggishly as they moved forward into the dimness. Alex consciously slowed his b
     
  2. _Derisa_Ollamhin_

    _Derisa_Ollamhin_ Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2000
    Trying to up this for you guys to see... :)


    *Derisa*
     
  3. JediKnight-Obi-Wan

    JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 13, 2000
    Wonderful post, Derisa. Few can go so in depth with details about something like a Jedi's trial and make it all ring so true. :)

    I loved the whole Alex bit, it got my thought wheels turning, I must admit.

    And I know how the RL thing goes. I've been so frustarted lately because if I'm not at work I'm at school or if at home I should be studying. I've rarely the time to write anymore and it depresses me.

    Looking forward to more.
     
  4. Rani Veko

    Rani Veko Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 22, 2000
    I absolutely love it, Derisa! I knew you were posting about Alex tonight, but that switch to Rani's pov was a pleasant surprise to me!

    The whole use of a hologramatic simulation chamber was a perfect tool for these last three posts covering K'Vel, Rani, and Alex's Trials. You've tested each of them and delved deep into their greatest inner challenges.

    I really liked how you described the mental wall that Alex has in his mind, as well as the two types of memory: physical and mentally manufactured. Alex going through that wall was a really interesting image. His re-experiencing his forgotten confrontation with the Sith witch was riveting. Imagine having to go through something like that for the first time...twice! I wonder if his hallucination is the key to him remembering Meri too?

    As for Rani, boy, you articulated wonderfully her recent heartbreak over Alex, more specifically, how she was dealing with that heartbreak. Her clamping down her stray thoughts of him and Meri, the way she's always internally experienced all things to do with the Force as fire, the same way Alex does as wind...the description of her burning away the pain of unrequited love in the furnace of the Force.

    I can't wait to read their debriefings!

    Hugs,

    - Rani
     
  5. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Oh, wow. So Alex has remembered the Sith witch, but he STILL doesn't remember Meri? ARGH! I liked the way he remembered that the vision-girl had had the wrong colour eyes, dark instead of the blue eyes that Rani has. I also liked the difference between the two memories, and now I'm eagerly waiting for the debriefing.


    I was just dreaming about Alex and Meri the other day, though the only part I remember was them running around with happy grins on their faces.
     
  6. Rani Veko

    Rani Veko Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 22, 2000
    Upping this from page 6 so others can read it this evening...

    - Rani
     
  7. JediKnight-Obi-Wan

    JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 13, 2000
    Ohhh Jane you dreamed of Alex....NO FAIR!
    Sigh

    Ohh but for a glimpse of him in my dreams! Though I did dream of Orlando Bloom/Legolas the other night. :D

    Cept in my dream he was a real jerk. [face_plain]
     
  8. The Musical Jedi

    The Musical Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 13, 1999
    Very well written, Derisa, as always. I also like Rani's comparison of the Force to fire, as well as her attempt to keep out of his affair. I like the realism you get the characters, adding to what the original authors gave to these creations that almost seem real. I like how they all have flaws and strenghts. He remembered the Sith witch! But does he remember what happened? Such tension. Only ten more posts. *sighs* Personally, I don't mind a little delay of the inevitable. ;)
     
  9. The Musical Jedi

    The Musical Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 13, 1999
  10. juwannajedi

    juwannajedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    //checks nifty watch with date display//


    heeeeyyyyyy!!!!!
     
  11. Rani Veko

    Rani Veko Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 22, 2000
    Juwannajedi, have I mentioned before how much I love your sig line? [face_laugh]

    <glances surrepticiously at chrono while everyone else is distracted and giggling at Juwanna's and Rani's sig lines>


    - Rani
     
  12. JediKnight-Obi-Wan

    JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 13, 2000
    You know, my brain's really been turning lately about this whole thread, storyline ect.

    Ahh you can always tell when finals are upon me as my brain is scrambling for a way out.

    :D

    Sooo are we going to see more action soon? :)
     
  13. juwannajedi

    juwannajedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    Rani,

    a friend of mine uses it as well and she let me "borrow" it -- we never are on at the same time....


    :D
     
  14. juwannajedi

    juwannajedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    //crosses fingers//

    new month. new posts.
     
  15. JediKnight-Obi-Wan

    JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 13, 2000
    Hey maybe if I up this...someone will see it... :D
     
  16. _Derisa_Ollamhin_

    _Derisa_Ollamhin_ Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2000
    I am so sorry, i am so lates post. I have had deadlinuff going on, but... well anyway, it's here, it's done, and the next one will be up tomorrow. I'm getting to it, as you can see.

    Srry about the long pause, and hope this meets with some approval from someone, somewhere...


    *Derisa*





    Rani remained kneeling in her meditation posture when the door hissed open to admit her examiner, but her mind was sharp and focussed, turning over the events of the Trial with a careful eye for details. Deepa Billaba accepted her bow of respect with a grave nod, and then joined her on the mat, kneeling to face the older Padawan.

    ?Your impressions, Rani? How do you think you did in the physical Trial??

    Rani gave a sly smile. ?I don?t know, I haven?t faced it yet.? She looked up and met the Councillor?s raised eyebrows with a direct look. ?Have I??

    ?Of course you have,? Deepa replied, but Rani shook her head. At length the Councillor inclined her head and added, ?There was more to it, of course.?

    ?That was an emotional Trial,? Rani said succinctly. She made certain to keep her voice free of accusation or anger at the deception.

    ?You have it exactly right, Rani,? the dark-faced Councillor conceded easily, but with some surprise in her voice, at the astuteness of the Padawan. ?The test was less physical than it was emotional. It was designed to place each of you in a separate circumstance where you would have some deep insight into your own greatest fears.?

    ?How does one pass these tests, then?? Rani asked Deepa pointedly. ?We judge ourselves??

    Deepa smiled gently. ?Can you think of a more fair way? No one knows you as well or as deeply as you do, Rani. Did you face your fears??

    Rani?s eyes narrowed in a characteristic expression of suspicion, but after she thought through the Councillor?s question, her brow cleared and she nodded. ?I did. They surprised me.?

    ?They always do. You see, all we can do is put you in the way of your fears, and allow you to meet them in an unguarded moment, so that you truly *face* them.? Her glance gave this all the significance Rani sensed about the events of the candidates physical trial. ?For humans, the test usually involves falling: it?s the most basic fear reflex we as primates have evolved. There?s a reason we say that someone has ?fallen? to the Dark Side.?

    ?What?s to prevent someone from claiming he did even if he didn?t overcome his fears?? Rani asked.

    Deepa answered her with another smile, this one less enigmatic. ?The hallucinogenic gas mix contains Verisol as well, perhaps you?ve heard of it??

    Rani recalled finding something familiar about the scent of the gasses that clung to the tunnel floor. Verisol was a relatively long-lasting truth drug, sometimes used as a muscle relaxant in the infirmary. She could recall hearing some interesting stories when she was on her probation, told by people under the influence of the gas. After a nod of agreement, she returned to the issue at hand. ?So I passed. What about the others??

    ?K?vel Kaelson took the chute separator, and encountered his fears in the tunnel on the way to the objective. From our monitoring of his vital signs and our visuals, there is no doubt he faced his fears there,? Deepa explained.

    ?He passes too?? Rani asked, and Deepa gave a nod of confirmation. Rani sought to meet the Councillor?s eyes, her blue-grey gaze sharp and hard as durasteel. ?What about Alex? Was it really necessary to put him through that??

    Deepa cocked her head to the side, looking away from Rani. ?He needed to know he could face his fears, as a Jedi must, before he would consider himself a Knight again. We did not know the shape those fears would take, in light of the recent horrors he has suffered, but he responded very well, and there is no hesitation on the part of the Council to pass him in this last Trial.?

    Rani exhaled audibly, and then leaned back on her heels. ?Then we will be Knighted tonight??her voice was almost a whisper, but the relief in it was immeasurable.

    ?The Council will call you be
     
  17. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    So the Council uses this Verisol gas to ensure that every candidate for the Trials actually faces his deepest fear? Interesting idea! I'm glad to see that they all passed. Good post!

    I would write more, but it's been a long day and I am exhausted.
     
  18. JediKnight-Obi-Wan

    JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 13, 2000
    Well this someone liked the post :D

    Very interesting take on how the Council handles giving trials.
     
  19. K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku

    K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku Jedi Grand Master star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 18, 2000
    Well, I finally caught up, and all I can say is WOW! I like what you are doing with the characters and story line. I am enjoying your interpretation of the Trials. T'lor's were modeled a great deal on my experiences with my defense at the time. I had never considered that multiple candidates would go through the test together. It is interesting to see how the Trials might happen as a group endeavor.

    One tiny picky point. T'lor's hair is brown, not blonde. :)

    Keep up the good work! I can't wait for the next post.

    -K'Tai
     
  20. juwannajedi

    juwannajedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    STAMP OF APPROVAL
     
  21. _Derisa_Ollamhin_

    _Derisa_Ollamhin_ Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2000
    Thanks so much for the feedback, guys, and many apologies to K'Tai for the hair-colour messup. I'll be fixing that, in the edits... :)

    Here's the next piece, as promised. I really am working on it! Hope you like it, and I hope no one minds any liberties I may have taken with the characters.

    More to come! This is the beginning of the end. :_)


    *Derisa*




    The announcement was heard throughout the Temple that two new Knights were to be made, and one Knight would renew his committment to the Order that evening. Qui-Gon read the message over with a mix of feelings. His tumultuous return, and the pointed actions of Yoda having hidden his padawan from him had brought home to the leonine Jedi master that his own decisions had been poorly thought-out, and he had hurt innocents in the proces of fulfilling his own desires.

    He dropped his head onto his raised hands, in a meditative frame of mind. The Knight who was renewing had to be Alex Arieh. Obi-Wan had only just found the young Knight?s Padawan yesterday, where she had fled to the unused sections of the Temple?s immensity. Obi-Wan?s selflessness just highlighted his Master?s recent self-indulgence, and acted as a pointed reprimand. He recalled his own Master telling him, many years ago, that the goal of a good teacher was to have his student exceed him. Obi-Wan had much to learn, but in some ways, he was more selfless and dedicated than Qui-Gon himself.

    Every bond of associates was a teaching relationship, and it was a part of the natural order of things that the learning process should go both ways. Even Master Yoda, the most learned and ancient of all the Jedi?s number, insisted on teaching some of the very youngest Initiates? classes, proclaiming time and again how much there was to be learned from minds as open and naturally wise as those of children.

    ?Hey, Qui-baby,? Kithera interrupted his train of thought, returning from her appointment at the Infirmary. She seemed somewhat withdrawn, and he could sense her mental distance for all her physical nearness. ?What?s up??

    ?There?s to be Knightings this evening,? Qui-Gon replied, kissing her hand as it rested on his shoulder. It was clear she would tell him what troubled her in her own good time. ?K?vel and Rani, and Alex Arieh is going to be renewing his vows as well.?

    The petite blonde Jedi?s brow shot up. ?K?vel, already?? she smirked, ?Kirstan?s making you a grandMaster!? she teased.

    Qui-Gon?s smile faded slowly, his thoughts on his most recent Apprentice. ?Padawans are curious things,? he admitted after a pause.

    Kit? drew her hands back from their resting places on his shoulder and arm. ?Actually Qui, that?s something I?ve been meaning to ask you about,? she said cautiously, as though gauging his reaction. ?I?ve been thinking of taking a Padawan.?

    It was his turn to raise an eyebrow. For all her playfulness, his beloved was gradually maturing, and he gave the idea some consideration before gesturing for her to go on. She sat in the chair next to him, and continued. ?I?ve grown quite attached to a certain Initiate, and I wanted to talk to you about the whole thing before I petitioned the Council to take her on.?

    ?What did you want to know, Kit??? he asked gently.

    ?Well you?ve done very well by your Padawans-?

    Qui-Gon shook his head, and Kithera halted herself mid-thought, giving him a curious look.. ?After witnessing the reprimand I recieved from Master Yoda, I?m not sure you should be asking me, love,? he reminded her. ?I?ve just recently done very poorly by my Padawan, although he has seen fit to forgive me, I?ve not forgiven myself over it yet.?

    Kithera nodded her head in understanding. ?I know you think we made a mistake, and looking back I can see we acted somewhat rashly, but I wasn?t talking about your current treatment of Obi-Wan. I was going to ask how you chose him, or Kirstan. How did you know they were the right Padawan for you, or that you would be the right Master for them??

    Qui-Gon?s eye widened as he heard the questions. He drew a tense breath
     
  22. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Very nice! Poor Kithera, losing the baby, and then Qui-Gon telling her that she should wait before taking a padawan, too. I think you captured her playfulness well, and I liked Qui-Gon's introspection a lot!
     
  23. juwannajedi

    juwannajedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    wow. i'd forgotten about this story line. you are amazing Derisa!


    //sniff//
     
  24. Rani Veko

    Rani Veko Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 22, 2000
    Great posts, Derisa, both the debriefing and the revisitation to the Qui-Gon and Kithera plotline.

    Kithera's words must have stung Qui-Gon so badly in light of him losing Xanatos to the dark side. The way you wrote it, you allowed the readers to feel his pain along with him. Nice job!

    I look forward to more!

    - Rani
     
  25. The Musical Jedi

    The Musical Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 13, 1999
    Yes, excellent post, Derisa! I like your characterization, especially the way Qui-Gon wonders if he'll ever stop grieving and his vow to Obi-Wan.

    Many apologies for lurking for some time. [face_blush]
     
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