1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

  2. Hey Fanficers! In fixing the prefixes something happened and now you can't edit titles. Don't panic! We're looking into what happened and trying to fix it.

The Uncertain Promise(JA fic with Xanatos and Qui-Gon)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by _Xanatos_, Feb 24, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. _Xanatos_

    _Xanatos_ Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 18, 2003
    DISCLAIMER: The characters that appear in this fic that were created by George Lucas are his creations and the theme of this fanfiction as well. Thank you George Lucas for creating the wonderful epic that has become a myhology of its own and made its mark in cinematic history.

    A WORD ON THE TEXT: This is based off of the Jedi Apprentice Series so there are references from that series in this fic. There are other references from the expanded universe information in this fic as well. Please enjoy reading this fiction and may the force be with you.

    Chapter 1

    It was late in the evening on Coruscant as the Corellian Republic Cruiser Emissary descended upon a landing platfrom. After landing the engines were shut off and the landing ramp was lowered. A Jedi came down the ramp with the hood of his cloak covering most of his face. He paused halfway to the speeder waiting for him. The sun had disappeared behind the many skyscrapers of the capital of the Galatic Republic. He could see a little of the orange sun peeking through a tiny space between two skyscrapers. He had been called upon to help the Barabels and the insectoid Verpines come to a peaceful resolve in a conflict they were having. The two races were on the brink of war. The negogiations had taken place and now he was on Coruscant to inform the Jedi Council of the resulting decision.

    The speeders color was blue, a Kuat Z-22 model. He got in the cockpit and started up the engine. All around the planetary city of Coruscant races from all worlds were blended in and going about their own errands and tasks. It was nightfall by the time Qui-Gon got to the Jedi Temple. The central tower of the temple stood out from the four surrounding it. Within the central tower was the Jedi Council Chamber where twelve of the greatest and most powerful Jedi Masters sat.

    The Jedi took the speeder into the hangar and then made his way to the lift that led to the Jedi Council Chamber. As the lift doors opened the Jedi found himself in the hallway that connected the lift to the Jedi Council Chamber.

    He exhaled a breath and continued onward. The Jedi Council Chamber doors opened for him and he stopped walking in the center of the circular room. All twelve Jedi Masters had their eyes on him.

    "Master Qui-Gon Jinn, inform us of your mission you will said Yoda, ears twitching. Yoda was the wisest and most powerful of all the Jedi and had the highest respect amongst the Jedi as well.

    "The conflict between the Verpines and the Barabels has taken a more agressive turn. The negogiations failed, a compromise could not be achieved. I fear the two races will go to war", said Qui-Gon.

    "Unfortunate it is", said Yoda.

    "The representatives of both the Verpines and the Barabels said their leaders were open to peaceful negogiations", said Ki-Adi Mundi who was a Cerean. Cereans had a cone shaped head with two brains which made their abilities in the force incredible.

    "A lie to dissemble their true intentions most likely", said Mace Windu. Mace Windu sat next to Yoda on the Jedi Council.

    "What is your opinion Jedi Qui-Gon?" asked Jorus C'boath.

    "I believe the leaders of the two races had negogiations take place so that they could settle the dispute in their own way without being criticized for not trying to come to a peacefl resolve", said Qui-Gon.

    "Could you see a possible way for peace Master Qui-Gon?" asked Eeth Koth.

    "Yes I did, howeer both leaders are too proud to admit their faults to eachother. It is unfortunate that the people do not wish to fight but their stubborn leaders will make them do so. If only they could see the corruption in their leaders", said Qui-Gon.

    "And couldn't you make them?" asked C'boath.

    "I was called upon as a keeper of the peace, not to escalate the conflict", said Qui-Gon.

    "Correct Qui-Gon is", said Yoda.

    "We are not saints, but seekers", said Mace Windu quoting a Jedi saying.

    "Yes, true are your words, forgive me, I seem to be frustrated with the result of the conflict", said C'boath.

  2. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi

    Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 20, 2002
    Hmmm, nice start! :DI like how you began it, and described stuff. Very nice. Hmm, going to Telos? I wonder who is on that planet? [face_mischief]I like this so far, and I can't wait how our favorite guy will come into this. :D Please update soon, need to read more soon. Good job.
  3. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 14, 2002
    Xanatos huh? Interesting! I'll keep my eye on this one. :D
  4. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 31, 2001
  5. _Xanatos_

    _Xanatos_ Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 18, 2003
    If I can today I will have the next post up I have it written I am just making editorial changes.
  6. _Xanatos_

    _Xanatos_ Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 18, 2003
    The Telosian Transport docked in a hangar at the Ord Radama spaceport. The pilot got out and spoke with a port official, then the cargo was unloaded. After the cargo was unloaded Qui-Gon went outside because the pilot had not returned.

    As he went outside Qui-Gon knew the reason immediately. The pilot was arguing with a port official and a man who appeared to be a businessman. He moved in closer to hear the conversation.

    "This is not everything I ordered, I want my money back now", said the businessman.

    "All I have is what's on my ship", said the pilot.

    "I don't have time for a liar", said the businessman drawing a blaster.

    "There's no need for blasters here gentlemen, let's settle this some place else", said the port official.

    "To hell with all ya'", said the businessman pistol whipping the port official and kicking the pilot. The pilot fell to the ground and looked up to see the blaster pointed at his head.

    "Look you can take this up with Mr. DeCruit, I only ship the supplies", said the pilot.

    Qui-Gon had walked over now and came to the pilot's side.

    "You do not need your blaster out", said Qui-Gon waving his hand.

    "I do not need my blaster out", said the businessman putting away his blaster.

    "You will consult Mr. DeCruit if you have any complaints regarding your business", said Qui-Gon.

    "I will consult Mr. DeCruit if I have any complaints regarding my business", said the businessman.

    "You will leave now", said Qui-Gon.

    "I will leave now", said businessman.

    The pilot let out a breath of relief and got up.

    "Oh man was that great or what? I would've probably got blasted, thanks Jedi. You know I wish I would've had you at my side a Oovo 1", said the pilot. Oovo 1 was a prison camp inside of a massive asteroid. Its conditions discouraged many inmates from the idea of escaping.

    Well you have no danger to worry about now, I suggest you get the ship ready", said Qui-Gon as port security arrived. The pilot had barely gotten into the ship when the security arrived.

    "What happened here?" demanded a security guard.

    "A dispute broke out and I arrived just in time before someone was killed. Just how safe is this hangar? If you all were doing your jobs then a man would not be able to wave a blaster around in the air and hit people in a deranged frenzy. Do you consider yourself security? I am going now, good day to you", said Qui-Gon storming off into the ship. He did not have to say more.

    Hurry up, get this man to med unit 1 now, Sanders, get some men, start checking for weapons, get on it", yelled the commanding security guard. Qui-Gon heard the shouts and chuckled to himself.

    "Is the ship ready?" he asked sitting in the co-pilot's chair.

    "Yeah, oh I have been rude to come all this way and not introduce myself. My name is Jeter Starks", said Jeter.

    "I am Qui-Gon Jinn", said Qui-Gon.

    "Ya' know I was told that Jedi were bad news, but you're not so bad", said Jeter as the engines were turned on and the transport blasted out of the hangar into space.


    Qui-Gon and Jeter made the journey to Telos without further delay. The transport landed and Qui-Gon said farewell to Jeter. After leaving the hangar he stopped outside. He felt is was important to see some of the planet you were on. The city in the distance resembled Coruscant. Above the sky was blue and at the side of the hangar was a forest. Just then a speeder arrived, it had DeCruit Technology Corporations on the side.

    He walked briskly towards it and got in the passengers seat.

    "Welcome to Telos Master Jedi, we will be at the DeCruit residence", said the driver.

    Qui-Gon nodded and buckled his seat belt. On the way to the DeCruit residence Qui-Gon noticed that the forest at the side of the hangar had been drastically cut down. The forest must have been a once large and thriving natural wonder. Now it was an endless field of stumps. The speeder now left the bereaved scene of destruction and came to a complex of facilities with a taller building at twenty stories. The wor
  7. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 14, 2002
    Very interesting! I look forward to seeing how you handle this! :)
  8. _Xanatos_

    _Xanatos_ Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 18, 2003



    Welcome to the story. I hope you all are enjoying it so far. I plan to have the next post up either tomorrow or early next week.

    This is just a small post to finish up the chapter and set up for the next one.
    Qui-Gon had been waiting in Crion's office for five hours now. Then the doors opened and the man with a decision no parent wants to face sat down at his desk. He exhaled and looked hard at Qui-Gon.

    "I have thought, I do not want to loose my son. But if he can control his gift than who will help him? I can give him anything but what the Jedi have to offer him. Please, take Xanatos away now, if he stays longer I may not let him go, I...", then he started weeping.

    "Do not worry, Xanatos will benefit from this decision. You are a good parent to know what is in the best interest of your child", said Qui-Gon trying to soothe the emotional pain and agony on Crion's face.

    "I know, I know, let me say good-bye to my son for the last time", said Crion wiping the tears from his face and standing up.

    "His absence from you will not be permenant, I promise you", said Qui-Gon.

    "What is that supposed to mean?"

    "It means he will at a certain age be able to see you if he wishes, however on his own time, now let us go and see Xanatos", said Qui-Gon putting a hand on Crion's shoulder. Crion sniffled and then they walked to the lift.

    They pressed the lift button and when it arrived Xanatos was in it.

    "Hello Qui-Gon, hey father", said Xanatos.

    "Hello Xanatos, your father and I have talked, you will be trained as a Jedi if you still wish to of course", said Qui-Gon.

    "Yes, yes I want to be a Jedi" he paused. "Father why are you so sad?"

    Crion looked away but Xanatos came to him and tugged on his coat. Crion looked down and got on one knee and hugged him.

    Qui-Gon watched the father and son spending their last moments together, at least for a while.

    "Son when you become a Jedi I will not be with you", said Crion.

    "Why not? Can't you come too?"

    "No son, I can't, I have to stay here and help out with the company. Qui-Gon will look out for you though and when you get old enough he said you could visit me", said Crion trying to cheer up the moment.

    "I'm going to miss you father", said Xanatos with tears in his eyes.

    "I know son, but don't forget who you are or where you came from, you are not going to be just a Jedi, but Xanatos DeCruit as well", said Crion.

    "Okay", said Xanatos.

    Then Crion hugged Xanatos once more and kissed him on the cheek. Then let him go. Xanatos went to Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon took his hand and led him to the lift.

    The doors opened and they went in.

    Xanatos and Crion looked at each other one last time. "I love you father", said Xanatos but Crion was too speechless to say anything and nodded. Then the lift doors closed. Crion began weeping even more and that was the last time he would see his son for a long while.

  9. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi

    Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 20, 2002
    hmm, I like how you set up this chapter and incorportated Xanatos into it. I also like how you show the father side of Crion. Very nice so far. I'm starting to like this story very much. Good job :D
  10. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 14, 2002
    Excellant job with the emotions! :)
  11. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 31, 2001
  12. _Xanatos_

    _Xanatos_ Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 18, 2003
    It seems I have the first post of the second chapter ready sooner than I thought. Enjoy :D

    Chapter 2

    Qui-Gon and Xanatos left the office building, it was dusk now and a speeder parked at the front of the building. The driver waited apparently for them.

    "Master Qui-Gon when will I start training to become a Jedi?" asked Xanatos.

    "When we reach Coruscant. On Coruscant you will go before the Jedi Council and they will evaluate you as well, do not be afraid of them. I am sure you will begin training," said Qui-Gon with a smile on his face.

    "Okay, how will we get there?" asked Xanatos.

    "A transport most likely, now let's go we have to get you to the Jedi Temple", said Qui-Gon. Xanatos smiled and followed Qui-Gon to the speeder. The driver nodded and the two got in.

    Qui-Gon sat in the back and allowed Xanatos to sit up front, then the speeder was on its way. They passed the field of stumps once more, something caught Qui-Gon's eye.

    "Driver could you stop?" asked Qui-Gon. The speeder came to a halt and Qui-Gon got out and walked into the field of stumps.

    They were near to the hangar so Qui-Gon had gone to the edge of the forest. He came to a halt and reached out with the force. Someone was inside and in pain. Qui-Gon went into the forest and let the force guide him to the distressed presence. Qui-Gon saw what must have caught his attention, a body lay on its stomach with a blaster shot in the back. He must have seen the flash from the laser bolt. The presence was near and he followed further into the forest. The sounds of the forest inhabits echoed. Then he heard a sound like kicking and a muffled cry of pain. Qui-Gon stopped and noticed the floor of the forest was dropping, he went behind a bush. Then peering from the bush he looked down into a ditch and saw a man on his knees and two other men. One was holding him up and the other was whispering something to him. Qui-Gon backed away from the bush and went around a tree and began descending down into the ditch. The men had seen him now and one approached him.

    "Hey you this ain't your business so get outta' here if ya' know what's good for you", said the man.

    "Perhaps it is not, but curiousity led me here and I cannot do nothing about that man other there in pain", said Qui-Gon.

    "Hey did you not hear a word I just said?, now go or I'm gonna' make you wish you did", said the man.

    "I told you that I cannot let this man be tortured, now step aside please and go get yourself cleaned up", said Qui-Gon waving his hand in front of the man applying the force to the mind.

    "Yeah sure of course", said the man and then he disappeared into the fog that was gathering in the forest.

    "Hey Rin where are you going?" asked the man who had released the captive.

    "Rin has left and so should you", said Qui-Gon applying the force once more.

    "Yeah I think you're right", he said then the man left as well.

    Qui-Gon knelt down to the captive and checked his pulse, it was still active. He then took off the bondage off at the captive's hands and took out the rag that had been used to gag him. The captive let out a breath and rasped heavily.

    "Are you all right?" asked Qui-Gon just recognizing who the captive was.

    "Yeah thanks, wait a minute, I know that voice, Qui-Gon Jinn what a surprise? Where did you come from?" asked Jeter Starks.

    "Let's say that you were lucky I pay attention to my curiousity", relpied Qui-Gon.

    "Yeah, now that's two I owe you", said Jeter.

    "Come on I will take you to my speeder", said Qui-Gon.

    "Hey there was someone else taken with me", said Jeter looking around.

    "He is dead, I saw him when I went to find you", explained Qui-Gon.

    "Oh too bad, you see we were gambling and that guy and I happened to be having a lucky day at the sabacc tables. So then those two goons got in the game and lost everything and when I say everything I mean everything. But hey I got a ship out of it. That other guy won some too but just credits. Let's go to the speeder it's getting dark", said Jeter.

    The two
  13. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 14, 2002
    :eek: Oh my! Why do I have the sinking suspicion they may be after Xan? Excellant action scene! Hate writing them myself so kudos! :D
  14. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi

    Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 20, 2002
    I'll have to agree with obi_ew up there, I think they might be after Xani. You don't think that... no, that couldn't happen... could it? Ah, never mind. Is this your first fan fic? Its very good. VERY good. I like it very much.
  15. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 31, 2001
    I also agree with o-e but I can think of two different reasons.
  16. _Xanatos_

    _Xanatos_ Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 18, 2003
    Well I will tell all that no one is after Xani.

    I am not sure when the next post will be yet but I am working on it.

  17. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Oct 29, 1999
    This is quite good Xanatos!

    I'll be keeping a lookout for more! :)
  18. _Xanatos_

    _Xanatos_ Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 18, 2003
    mouse 2 welcome to the story I hope you will enjoy as well!

    The next post should be up sometime this week.
  19. _Xanatos_

    _Xanatos_ Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 18, 2003
    Chapter 3

    Qui-Gon and Jeter were thrown onto the hard steel surface of the Cullous Cutthroat's bridge. They were then immediately held up by guards. A man paced back and forth by the viewport, the Pioneer could be seen. He stopped and turned on his heel to face them. The bridge was quiet like the forest of a planet after a rainstorm. He had a black jumpsuit on with a leather and brown heavy trench coat. On his belt his blaster was holstered and was purposely shown. He walked to Qui-Gon then to Jeter then back to the viewport and stood looking at the Pioneer with hands behind his back.

    "Quite a lovely ship, good condition too, I wonder where you got it Jeter?" he asked.

    "Long time Simar Ison", said Jeter coughing afterward.

    "Please, Captain Ison if you will, I believe I have earned it", said Ison.

    "Maybe, if you're wondering I won that ship in a game of sabacc", said Jeter.

    "Hmm, she is an impressive ship", said Ison.

    "What do you want?" demanded Jeter.

    "A sudden change in topic, Jeter do you always converse like this?"

    "Tell me or-"

    "Or you'll what? Free yourself and escape? I do not think so and if you wondering what I have you here for...let's say I am curious", said Ison.

    "About what?"

    "Oh the fact that a person like you is associated with a Jedi, there may be profit to earn yet", said Ison.

    "The Jedi has nothing to do with this, let him go", said Jeter.

    "I could, I know Jedi are formidable adversaries, but yet I know that onboard your ship is a boy, a boy from Telos, Xanatos DeCruit. Yes I know he is onboard but I left him there and know I could easily destroy him and have the pleasure of knowing he thought he was safe. But I will not, not without trying to get a profit from his father, yes the corporate tycoon on the rise", said Ison.

    "Let him go", said Qui-Gon who had just entered the conversation.

    "Ah the Jedi speaks. But still, Crion will pay handsomely for his son", said Ison.

    "What will be done with us?" asked Qui-Gon.

    "You will both die, guards take them to back, kill them and release them with the garbage", said Ison.

    Then the two were taken away. The walked down the halls and saw the regular sights of crewers, cooks, engine rooms, and the like until they reached a room. Jeter was kicked in the knees and fell down then held up with a blaster pointed to his head. Qui-Gon allowed himself to be thrown down. He noticed the guard that had taken him had his lightsaber clipped to his belt as the blaster was pointed to his head.

    Before the guard holding up Qui-Gon could pull the trigger he fell to the ground in two halves as Qui-Gon swung his lightsaber and thrust it into the chest of the other guard. The guard fell to the ground and a small pool of blood formed around the corpse. Jeter stood up and took the blaster from the body and looked at Qui-Gon.

    "Now what?"

    "We get to the Pioneer and then we leave", said Qui-Gon.

    "It's not as easy as it sounds, look Togorian Pirates are bad enough, this guy Ison is the only thing equally worse", said Jeter.

    "Then we will have to disable him won't we?" said Qui-Gon pulling out a thermal detonator from the belt of the first guard that perished.


    Captain Ison waited in silence then the holo image of a Hutt appeared.

    "Yes", it said.

    "Gorogan the Hutt, I have knews for you, I have unexpectedly found the DeCruit son and may be able to get a profit out of it", said Ison.

    "Good, kill the boy after you get it done, I want to hit Crion hard", said the Hutt.

    "Very well", said Ison ending the transmission. He sat in his chair then looked around, he felt something was missing.

    "Have those two guards reported in yet?" he asked a bridge officer.

    "No sir", said the officer.

    "Then send someone to fing them", said Ison.

    He would not let a Jedi and a pitiful smuggler beat him out of profit he needed and that depended on his life. Hutts were not very forgiving


    Qui-Gon had killed another guard with a swift strike of his lightsaber. Jeter drug the
  20. _Xanatos_

    _Xanatos_ Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 18, 2003
    I hope this wasn't too extreme!
  21. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi

    Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 20, 2002
    Not at all! That was very good! I especially liked "You say where you are and do not move", one voice commanded.

    "What are you doing?" demanded another.

    "I am assisting someone in sabotaging your engine", said Qui-Gon.

    "All right funny guy let's go", said one

    That was amusing!! :D Anyway, this is an interesting chapter. I sense much evil from this man. [face_devil] Kinda like me. lol. This was nicely written. I am liking this fic so far! Very nice, keep it up! :D
  22. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 14, 2002
    :D Things are really heating up! I thought you said they weren't after Xan? ;)
  23. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 31, 2001
    nothing like a hefty ransom for the little tyke
  24. _Xanatos_

    _Xanatos_ Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 18, 2003
    Hmm, well I said that because they were not entirely after him, they came upon him not knowing he was in the ship, so what I said was true from a certain point of view.
  25. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 14, 2002
    ;) sneaky! :p
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.