Before The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) note from the author 4/9

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by maychorian, Jun 2, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    ::eeps:: I was going to wait 'til Friday to post this, but I'm just too excited! I'll be gone most of next week counseling at a junior high girls' camp, and I wanted to get in a few posts before I left.

    Next post ETA: Sunday

    Title: The Unchosen
    Author: Maychorian
    Timeframe: pre-TPM
    Category: AU (the what-if kind)
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Julune Graffon-Jinn (OC), Obi-Wan Kenobi, and many more
    Summary: Qui-Gon?s parents chose not to give him to the Jedi as an infant. Now he lives the simple life, content in doing good where he can. But missed opportunities have a way of coming around again, and the Force has a way of finding the right path regardless of individual choices.
    Notes: It was some discussion on the Qui-Gon character thread that got me thinking along these lines, I think. And writing the romance challenge gave me a good character and a bunch of ideas. Plus I just wanted an excuse to write angst and fluff (as always.) I don?t know how far this will go, or how long I?ll be able to keep it up. It?s probably the most complex plot I?ve ever attempted, as I usually hardly bother with a plot at all. Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
    Disclaimer: I don?t own them! (sob, sniffle, sneeze) And I don?t get paid, either! (sad glance at empty wallet) I write this for my own pleasure, and that of my lovely online friends. (hugs, kisses, and kittens for all)


    Chapter 1: Jedi on Bandomeer

    ?I heard that a shuttle from the Jedi Temple is landing today.?

    Qui-Gon Jinn looked up from the morning newsflimsy, taking a moment to savor the sight of his wife as she sat across the table, bathed in early morning sunlight that caught her rich, dark hair in subtle highlights. He lived by the creed that every moment was precious, but this certainly was a delightful one. Letting the flimsy droop in his loose grip, he willed the moment to continue for as long as it wished.

    Julune?s full lips lifted at the corners, tiny wrinkles appearing around her eyes, and faint color rose to her cheeks. ?Dearheart, I just made the bed. It?s very neat and tidy and I don?t want to do it again.?

    ?Who said anything about the bed??

    She smirked at him.

    Qui-Gon grinned mischievously and shook the flimsy out, laying it beside his plate. ?Sorry, sweetheart. What were you saying? Something about a shuttle??

    ?A shuttle with supplies for the Agri-Corps is landing at tenth hour.? She shrugged lightly, toying with her teacup. ?Just a bit of news I thought you might find interesting. Do you have any plans for the day??

    Qui-Gon shook his head, loading his utensil with scrambled girok eggs and lifting it to his mouth. ?Maybe I?ll stop by and see if they need help unloading.? The eggs all but melted on his tongue, with just the right hint of salt and spice. ?Scrumptious as always, darling. And you? Any exciting plans in the offing??

    ?Just more harvesting and culture monitoring. They?re coming along very well?we might actually have something worth studying from Bandomeer.?

    As always, Julune?s color rose when she thought or spoke of her research. She sloshed her tea, spilling a few drops, and did not notice, to Qui-Gon?s ever-fresh delight. He loved this side of her, the curious scientist forever excited by what new discovery might be around the next experiment or data sheet. Her eagerness sometimes made her clumsy, fumbling over her own feet like a puppy with paws too big for its body, and he found this endlessly endearing.

    Julune?s dark eyes softened, and she looked at him with a gentle smile. ?I?m looking forward to returning to Thyferra, though.?

    She fidgeted suddenly, and stood to begin clearing the empty dishes. Qui-Gon rose to forestall her, placing a hand on the tender swell of her belly. ?I am too,? he murmured against her ear. ?Our garden will need tending. And we?ll be there all through the growing season, for once.?

    ?Maybe longer,? she whispered back, leaning into his caress. ?I?m tired of hopping about the galaxy studying
  2. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Wow. Talk about original plot lines. ;)

    Wonderful, wonderful beginning, may.
  3. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Great start, May! I'm glad you're doing something different - looks like this could be really interesting! :)

    I don?t know how far this will go, or how long I?ll be able to keep it up. It?s probably the most complex plot I?ve ever attempted, as I usually hardly bother with a plot at all.

    You'll be able to keep it up - you're a good writer. Just keep picking away at it and you'll get there. :) Cheers,

    Shaindl
  4. VadersMistress Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2004
    star 6
    Whoa. This is great!

    I love the start. Can't wait to see where you take this. :D :D :D
  5. Musing Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2003
    star 2
    Now this really piques my interest... [face_thinking]

    I've got a new place to lurk, thanks to you. :D

  6. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Yay! [face_dancing] You started posting it Padawan!

    I soooo loved this (as I've told you in the e-mails and chat) Great work! And I agree original :D

    Hope you have fun :D Becareful out there! Will miss talking with ya! [:D]
  7. River_Stone Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 7, 2005
    star 1
    Ohhhh, a very interesting idea. Be nice to see how this plays out. (Hint: hugs)

  8. Artanis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 10, 2005
    star 2
    Impressive, I think you've got me hooked already. Loved Qui-Gon's wife. And could it be that Obi-Wan is Xanatos' apprentice? [face_thinking]

    Waiting for more! :)
  9. Kylie_Jinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 1
    o0o0o0o, intriguing! I like the idea of Qui-Gon trying to find other work, but never managing to settle down. Foreshadowing, are we...?
  10. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    Very intriguing, Laura :)

    I'm hoping if I start reading at the beginning i'll be able to keep up as you post. I missed the boat on Candles-as you know. Got to find a block of time for that one.

    Great start, and looks like you've got all my fave characters plus some originals. It'll be interesting to see where you take this.

    More soon?? :D

    --shan
  11. Kadi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2004
    star 1
    Very interesting. I'm assuming that the tall Jedi is Xanatos. I wonder if Obi-Wan is his apprentice or a unchosen initiate. The title seems to point to the later. :)

    We have to wait until Sunday?! That's three days from now. :(
  12. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Ooooooh you started posting it! I remember you telling me about this one. A most excellent beginning!

  13. AnakinsHeir Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2004
    star 3
    Oh this looks good! And anything with Qui and Obi is a good thing. [face_love]
  14. meg_an2006 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Oooo I like this so far, I do hope that you will continue to write more! Can't wait for more!!! Great job!
  15. Darth_Luinel_Kun Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2005
    star 3
    How long do you think it will be? How much more will you add?
  16. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Loved the plot line. Quite original and refreshing. I loved that Qui-Gon hadn't settled down into any one thing - must have been hard for one of his Living Force touch. Great job with the appearance of Jedi.. I will wait to see just how the pair are interacting with each other and Qui-Gon.

    Looking forward to more.
  17. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    <echoes what everyone has said> - Intriguing start, may . The picture you've painted of Qui and his wife is perfect. And you've described them so very well. :) Can't wait to see where you take this...<jumps up and down>
  18. sheleigh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 31, 2002
    star 4
    Wonderful and intriguing start, May.

    Julune is quite the character, and I'm sure she will develop as this wonderful piece evolves. I love your Qui-Gon, especially the description of his diplomatic tendencies.

    I adore the writing, and... well everything.

    Excellent! :)

    sheleigh
  19. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    Qui-Gon on a different path
    this should be interesting
    Good start
    I will make a coffee and wait [face_coffee]
  20. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    As always awsum.

    Love the idea, but mostly I like how you write all of your stories.

    Now to the real question, just what is Xani doing with Obi? Will Qui come to the rescue?

    I can't wait to find out ;)
  21. Qui-Gina-Jinn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2003
    star 4
    It's kinda strange, seeing Qui-Gon not as a Jedi..
    I really liked this - can't wait to read more!
  22. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    LuvEwan

    Thank you! We'll see if I can keep it interesting and original.

    Shaindl I'm glad you're doing something different - looks like this could be really interesting!

    I'm honored that you're reading!

    What I meant by not being sure how far this will go is that I'm thinking it could turn into a loooong epic. I'm having ideas for movie-era stuff, for instance, and this is starting JA. We'll see how it goes. Thanks for the encouragement!

    VadersMistress Can't wait to see where you take this.

    Oh, the possibilities. ::moan:: I'm still working a lot of it out.

    Musing I've got a new place to lurk, thanks to you.

    Welcome! Hope you have fun.

    Kynstar Becareful out there! Will miss talking with ya!

    Thanks! I'll miss you guys, too.

    River_Stone (Hint: hugs)

    LOL! Patience, my dear River. They will come. You can always count on fluff in my stories. Sometimes it just takes a while.

    Artanis And could it be that Obi-Wan is Xanatos' apprentice?

    ;) Could be. I'm glad you like Julune!

    Kylie_Jinn I like the idea of Qui-Gon trying to find other work, but never managing to settle down.

    Yep. Like the summary says, things have gone a bit awry . . . Thanks for reading!

    shanobi Great start, and looks like you've got all my fave characters plus some originals.

    I'm still deciding what to do with a couple of them. :D I'm excited to have you reading this! You were one of my first fanfic favorites.

    Kadi I wonder if Obi-Wan is his apprentice or a unchosen initiate. The title seems to point to the later.

    Very astute of you. Thanks for reading!

    Layren I remember you telling me about this one.

    LOL! I remember you whining that you didn't like Julune, because YOU wanted to be married to Qui-Gon! :D Thanks for reading! [:D]

    AnakinsHeir

    Thanks! :D Yep, it'll be interesting.

    meg_an2006

    Thank you! And welcome to the boards!

    Darth_Luinel_Kun How long do you think it will be? How much more will you add?

    Well, that's the question of the hour. It could be a relatively short novella, or it could be a multi-part epic. I have sooo many ideas. Thanks for reading!

    dianethx I loved that Qui-Gon hadn't settled down into any one thing - must have been hard for one of his Living Force touch.

    Yeah, that seemed most logical to me. I just can't envision Qui-Gon as anything but a Jedi. So it will be interesting to see where this ends up.

    Princess_Arulmozhi The picture you've painted of Qui and his wife is perfect. And you've described them so very well.

    Thanks! :D I'm always a bit nervous writing OCs. And this one has quite a large role, too. But she seems to be fitting in all right. We'll see how it goes.

    sheleigh I love your Qui-Gon, especially the description of his diplomatic tendencies.

    Thanks! It seemed natural to me that he would keep his talent for that, though it isn't honed quite the same as it would be if he were Jedi. We'll see how it goes.

    Gkilkenny

    Thanks! Yep, it's turning out pretty interesting so far.

    jodiwent Now to the real question, just what is Xani doing with Obi? Will Qui come to the rescue?

    Good question! I haven't decided, not fully. But some answers are coming right up.

    Qui-Gina-Jinn It's kinda strange, seeing Qui-Gon not as a Jedi..

    I agree. It's really hard to envision him as anything but a Jedi Master. I keep having to to remind myself that he doesn't have a lightsaber. :( Haven't decided yet what to do about that.


    Well, everyone, thanks for the wonderful reviews! Wow, that's a lot. I'm gratified by your interest.

    My great-grandpa died last night, and my family is heading to Illinois for the funeral tomorrow morning. The burial will be in Kansas on Monday, and then I'll be back to Illinois to counsel at th
  23. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Chapter 2: Cast Away

    At first Qui-Gon thought he was looking at a Master-Padawan team, but then he noticed that the boy didn?t have a braid. He was still an initiate. Also, the older Jedi didn?t have the look of Master about him?Qui-Gon felt no sense of protectiveness for the boy, no affection or pride, as he imagined all Masters had for their apprentices, as Dooku had had for him even though Qui-Gon was not a Jedi. From the pale-eyed young man Qui-Gon sensed . . . regret. Regret, pain, stubbornness . . . but nothing of a Jedi Master with a young Padawan.

    For the boy was very young indeed. After the first, cursory glance, Qui-Gon found his eyes straying often to the youngster, as the adult Jedi talked to the Agri-Corps workers. The boy looked tired, nigh exhausted, as if he was just recovering from injury or illness. And it was more than a physical weariness . . . this weariness seemed to seep into the boy?s bones, laying hold to spiritual and emotional depths that it had no right to touch. It emanated from the boy in turgid waves, an utter despair that Qui-Gon shuddered at.

    None of this showed in the boy?s features and stance, save for the shadows of weariness blotted beneath his eyes. He held himself straight, dignified, the somewhat foul Bandomeer breeze lifting reddish-brown locks off his smooth forehead. He would be a very appealing child, if his face was not so solemn and worn.

    His eyes should be brighter, Qui-Gon thought, irrationally and without evidence. Those eyes ought to be always shining with life and vigor, brilliant, lit from within. They are not meant to sit so dully there, as if they have no purpose but as holes to let in the sights of the world. The boy?s soul should be looking out of them, eager to see and experience life. Something has gone awry for this lad.

    The boy glanced up for a moment, met Qui-Gon?s gaze through the crowd. He quickly looked away again.

    ?Thank you for bringing the supplies, Knight Xanatos,? Heim Shilbey, the Agri-Corps supervisor, said warmly. ?We understand that you had a rough trip from Coruscant.?

    The pale-eyed man, Xanatos, nodded wearily. ?Very rough, yes. And your new recruit from the Temple acquitted himself well.? Briefly the long-fingered hand alighted on the boy?s shoulder, and the young one?s gaze flicked up to the Knight?s face, then swiftly away. ?Obi-Wan Kenobi will be a credit to your operations here.?

    ?I don?t doubt it.? Heim grinned, giving the boy a rough pat on the arm. ?Tangled with a few Togorians, did you??

    The boy?Obi-Wan Kenobi?merely nodded. Qui-Gon felt a sudden surging desire to hear the whole story behind that. Perhaps the youngster?s fatigue could be attributed to a battle with Togorian pirates; perhaps the dullness in his gaze was simply from the shock of a harsh introduction to the galaxy after sheltered Temple life. But somehow, Qui-Gon didn?t think so.

    ?Well, let?s get to work on these supplies, shall we??

    Qui-Gon moved forward with the others, and they began off-loading bags and crates from the shuttle into the Agri-Corps grav truck. Xanatos took the boy Obi-Wan aside, speaking quietly to him. Jinn should not have been able to hear the nearly-silent conversation, especially occupied as he was, but one of the many hidden talents he harbored from Knight Dooku?s unofficial tutoring was an ability to focus the senses to a startling degree. If he weren?t experiencing it himself, Qui-Gon would not believe that a human could see so sharply or hear so clearly, but he could.

    ?You will focus on your mission,? Xanatos said firmly. ?It is your last mission. It will take you through the rest of your life.?

    ?To be a farmer . . .? Obi-Wan murmured.

    Hello! Farming is good for the soul! Qui-Gon thought. But that wasn?t the way Obi-Wan saw it. The despair in the boy sharpened, seemed almost to weep for untasted delights now forever denied him.

    ?To be a cultivator of life,? Xanatos interrupted. ?To feed the hungry. To bring hope to those who have none. It is a noble calling.?

    Obi-Wan?s desp
  24. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    I am sorry for you loss [:D] I hope the trip isn't as lengthy as it sounds like it might be...flying I take it? Or driving with multiple drivers? I'll keep you and yours in my prayers of tonight.

    Now for this chapter...well done Padawan! Poor Obi :( he wants so bad to become a full fledge Jedi. AgriCorps bound for sure now. Poor kid...

    I like how you have Xan mention about his near 'fall' but obviously didn't go all the way (otherwise he'd not be a Knight still ;) ) [face_thinking] wonder who his Master was since Qui wasn't? ;)

    And Qui thinking about the 'connection' bit. That was cool! And he's thinking on checking that out? That's even niftier. If anything maybe he can befriend the boy since everybody will be total strangers to him. I can see Qui being is friend.

    Looooooooved the reading together bit! [face_love] That's so sweet! Those two are so wuvable together!

    Awesome job Padawan!
  25. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    May, I'm sorry to hear about your great-grandfather. Be well and take care of yourself.

    The chapter was great. Loved how Qui noticed Obi-Wan and what he truly should be like. Xanatos needs to be smacked for what he's doing to him.

    Looking forward to the next chapter! :)
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.