***The UNOFFICIAL THREAD*** The Writer's Guild of JTC Community

Write stuff! Now! DO IT. Write a story. Write about a time when you slam-dunked a basket, when you first encountered your favorite set of movies or videogames or books, write anything that does not have mild sexual themes. WRITE NOW! < I ABHOR that smiley!


Edit: Thread belongs to FanFic.

 

Okay, I'll write a short something.

Once I signed up on a message board because I liked the philosophical discussions on a certain thread. I ended up making a whole bunch of friends, including this awesome person whose screenname was Bacon164. Ahhh, Bacon! He hated bacon, but still decided to call himself that which he abhorred. And I admired him. For he is coolness incarnate.

 

There once was a man from Nantucket . . .

ooops

As I backed into my favorite parking slot today I looked out at the grounds of my office building. Being that it is spring I saw that the sycamores all had new green growth on them.

Each leaf was a pale green hand set against the violet blue sky of dawn. The sun had just risen and its light hit some of the new leaves causing them to glow with verdent luminescence. As the sun slowly rose, more leaves became bathed in its orange brilliance. The illuminated leaves now covered their trees causing the trees to look like bright green candles glowing in the world.

I stepped out of my car, the chill air of morning hit my face. The slight dusty perfume of sycamore pollon hit my nose. It mixed with the smell of other green things growing in the landscape. The rich smell of freshly watered soil also was present.

I took in a breath of this for a moment, then reached into my car to get my cup of Earl Gray tea. Its perfume mixed with the smell of the waking earth.

I proceed to the enterance of my office building where I came to rest in my office where now I write this prose regarding the moments in one's morning that are most imporant.

The sight of fresh green sycamores. The smell of freshly watered soil. The taste of freshly made tea.

 

Lovely thoughts and smartly expressed. Congrats Bacon.

 

THE TRAGEDY OF BACON

Once upon a time, in a gleaming message board, filled with color and light, there was a dark place called the 3SA. It was an evil place, filled with loathing trolls and evil bashers and hateful posters, but in the darkness there was light. A young author named J.W. TITUS decided to break the darkness with his fan novel of Star Wars: Episode III. Though everyone thought it was an excellent piece, many believed it belonged in the fan-fic forum. J.W. TITUS said over and over that he had asked the mod's permission, but the evil posters were relentless. Finally, a small group of freedom fighters fought back, and kept the light alive, until it was finished after nearly a year of hard work. During it's birth, the 3SA was renamed to become REVENGE OF THE SITH (Spoilers Allowed). It was a dark time filled with terror, even with J.W.'s excellent posts. Than came the JTC and its rival group SDO (?). They were fan-clubs made in honor of TITUS, which brings us to the present.

Everyone hates bacon. It is something that everyone despises, because of piggies. Piggies are evil, despiseable, loathed by the world, and called, "The ANTI-CHRIST!" by some miserable maggots. A prophecy once stated that in the year 2010, piggies would take over the world when they learned to fly. When someone heard of this, they registered under the username, BACON164. Like everyone else, he hated bacon, but also hated piggies. He sought out to destroy all piggies, and make them pay for what they could inflict on the world.

Should I continue the story? < I hate that smiley!

 

Life is short
the world is long
I had to write a poem
because I cannot write a song

 

CAFETERIA MESS
A Poem Written By: BACON164

Every morning we entered the lunchroom,
stepping with pace.
And we saw the lunch ladies,
their hair-nets a disgrace.

And after grabbing a tray,
we?d walk down the dark, dark line,
and so suddenly a lunch lady would grab the food and shout,
?Hey, that?s mine!?

We?d walk down the aisle,
stepping with haste,
until coming upon the milk section,
which was covered with paste.

We?d come upon the counter,
our paste-covered milk in hand,
check it out,
and look at the lunchroom wasteland.

The seats were rotten,
mostly made of wheat,
and we?d sit,
on that rotten seat and eat.

And then one day,
a battle began,
and a lunch lady
hit someone with a frying pan.

The food fight continued,
the mango juice spread,
while drops of blue and white honey mustard,
decorated their heads.

And on it went,
with some flying turkey,
and some egg rolls rolling,
and yet some beef jerky.

But then we turned our attention,
to the man making a fuss,
and after a quick spin,
we realized it was Principal Gus.

It was the big cheese himself,
Old Princi?pal?,
and then he told us,
?Go Get a Towel.?

Scrubbing and mopping,
was our job now.
The principal smiled and before leaving said,
?Happy Chow.?

And I woke up,
from that horrible dream,
and then sat upright,
bursting with a terrifying scream.

And so now I know,
of the work they pledge,
and of old Principal Gus
I sit on edge.

They put in a lot of work,
and even more dedication,
so I believe we owe them,
our appreciation.

 

Very good bacon!

 

Hehe. I wrote that two years ago.

 

I am not muc of a poet, I like to write stories, I have wrote a few so far.

 

Odd, but I am all written out, tonight. Yet, Bacon, I write for you. Your daily dose of Haiku:

Bat wing night sky
Falls in field or alley dark
Silence flutters

 

I'm writing because Bacon told me to write. Since he told me to write, I must write. If he had not told me to write, I wouldn't write. Thus Bacon is the true writer because he makes me right.


Here is what I'll write:

JACK This ghastly state of things is what you call Bunburying, I suppose?

ALGERNON Yes, and a perfectly wonderful Bunbury it is. The most wonderful Bunbury I have ever had in my life.

JACK Well, you've no right whatsoever to Bunbury here.

ALGERNON That is absurd. One has the right to Bunbury anywhere one chooses. Every serious Bunburyist knows that.

JACK Serious Bunburyist! Good heavens!

ALGERNON Well, one must be serious about something, if one wants to have any amusement in life. I happen to be serious about Bunburying. What on earth you are serious about I haven't got the remotest of ideas. About everything, I should fancy. You have such an absolutely trivial nature.

 

What's a Bunbury?

 

Absolutely nothing. That's the point of the dialogue. Read Osscar Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest" -- one of the best plays I've ever read. Absolutely hilarious.

Bunburying is essentially being utterly ridiculous and silly. To say that one is serious about Bunburying is a completely ridiculous statement...you're basically saying that someone's serious about being silly.

 

Who was Mary Jane playing in that play on Spider-Man 2?

 

Cecily -- ward of Jack and girlfriend of Algernon.

The play is kind of confusing at first -- it's a satire. The author makes fun of Victorian society and prim, proper people. Very funny play. Read it several times.


Sorry -- I'm just feeling silly tonight...

 

No plaguerism, or am I missing something? Did you write that on your own, or is that part of the play?

 

I LOVE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST!


I just did a parody to it, "The Importance of Being Earnest: the abridged audio book"

Its about 5 minutes long and it is hilarious. Here's the script:

A is Algernon, J is Jack, C is Cecily, B is Lady Bracknall, G is Gwendolen, and P is Prism. Oh and L is Lane.

[Piano playing]
A: Did you hear what I was playing?
L: No, that?s rude. Here?s Ernest Worthing
A: Ernest!
J: Do YOU have my cigarette case?
A: Why yes? but it says Jack from Cecily.
J: It?s mine.
A: But your name?s Ernest?
J: My name is Jack
[dun dun]
A: Oh? here?s my Aunt and don?t eat those!
[slap]
J: OW!
[Door]
B: Good day! I am NOT Judi Dench, which highly depresses me.
G: Oh Jack!
J: Oh Gwendolen!
A: Oh Sandwiches! They?re gone! Bad Lane!
[slap]
L: Yeeesss. Bad me!
[slap]
B: Let?s talk!
J: I love you, Gwendolen
G: I love you too Ernest. I love that name even more.
J: Really? No Jack?
G: Jack yuck!
J: Marr?
G: Married yes. You, me. GOOD! Mothah!
B: Yes, my Gwendolen?
J: Ernest proposed
B: Hell no! Let?s leave?
[door]
G: Ernest I love you
J: Here?s my address in the country
A: Bwa ha ha
[scribbling paper]

C: Weiner Schnitzel!
P: Good, Cecily!
C: I hate German?
P: Who is that?
A: I?m Ernest.
P: Ernest? [huffy]
C: Ernest? [dreamy]
A: I love you, Cecily
C: I love you, Ernest
P: I love you German Language
[door]
P: Jack!
J: Ernest?s dead?
P: That?s odd?
J: Why?
A: Brother John!
J: Brother John? Is that foreshadowing?
A: WE DON?T KNOW! Brother shake my hand now! I love Cecily!
J: grrrrr?.
[door]
A: I love you, Cecily. Let?s get married!
C: We?re already engaged
A: [shrug] Okay!
C: I love the name Ernest?
[horse hooves and neigh]
C: Who are you?
G: I?m Gwendolen!
C: Yay, we?ll be sisters!
G: I love Ernest
C: Me too?
G: Oh? that can?t be true
C: Yes it is, here he comes
[door]
A: Cecily my darling!
C: My Ernest!
G: No! That?s Algernon Moncrieff
C: YUCK! That quite possibly may be the ugliest name I have ever seen in my life.
G: HERE?s Ernest
[door]
J: Gwendolen my love!
G: My Ernest!
C: No that?s Jack!
CG: We?ve been lied to!
[door]
[door]
J: Idiot?
A: Moron?
MUFFIN!
[door]
CG: We?re back!
J: I love you!
G: I love you!
A: I love you!
C: I love you!
B: For the Love of God!
G: OH NO! MOTHAH!
B: Who?s this?
A: Cecily, the love of my life
B: I don?t approve
J: She?s rich
B: What did I say before? Yes, you?ll be happy together.
C: Great! Miss Prism would love to hear it!
B: Prism?!
J: Yes, Miss Prism.
[door]
B: Prism, where?s the baby?
P: Victoria. Brighton Line.
[slap]
J: What did you say?
P: In a leather bag?
[slap]
J: In a leather bag!?
P: Stop slapping me!
J: Be right back?
[stairs]
J: Is this the bag?
P: That?s great! I found my long lost bag
J: And your son!
[hug]
[slap]
J: OW! Child Abuse!
P: Mr. Worthing! Lady Bracknell knows who you are!
J: Who am I?
B: My nephew and Algernon?s older brother
J: I have a brother! [pause then slow] and a cousin? Here we go again! Two Cousin Marriages in one year of English. But I still love you, Elizabeth. I MEAN Gwendolen.
G: Oh my Victor?
J: What is my name, Auntie!?
B: Ernest!
J: I am Ernest!
G: Are you daft! I?m standing right here!
A: I am still not Ernest?
C: That isn?t discussed in the rest of the play so SHH!

The End

 

And if we are also discussing the writer's guild:

Cyborg's Vindication: A Post-ROTJ Grievous

I, Himou: The Adaptation of Galaxy at War, presented by the view of Eme-ma Himou. "Chapter One: Padawan" is now up

 

Oh! And WLOR, you've got it all wrong!

Bunburying: Creating a personality to get you out of (or into) certain meetings or appointments.

 

A little something I wrote a long, long time ago.




Listen to life's music, it's everywhere.
In your mind and in the air.
Tell how you feel, make believe it's real.
It's all the same, a childs game.
Oh, how simple and yet so insane.
You're alive, but feel no pain.
Do it all for fame, just play the game.
Life's so unreal, that's how you feel.
It's all a waste.
Nobody cares.
Rattle on without end.
No one listens.
Not even your friend.
Speak till you're dead.
No one cares.
Play your guitar.
You can go far.
But no one listens.
You sing your song.
What does it mean?
It doesn't matter.
It's all a game.
And nobody wins.
Just have fun while you go insane.

 

The Spiderman 2 question: Who does MJ play in Importance of Being Earnest?

Answer: Cecily

 

I know, Eme-ma. I realized I forgot to include that last night. I was talking about the meaning behind Burburying -- why it's so comical -- not what it means to Jack and Algy.

I LOVE THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST!!!

BTW, hilarious skit Eme-ma!

 

Indeed, Oscar Wilde has a certain wit. I've always enjoyed the nonsequitor humor of 'The Importance of Being Earnest'.

These lyrics below are by Sting. Last night I was listening to one of my old Police songs and immediately Star Wars came to mind.

Originally this song was about infidelity and seduction, but in context of ROTS, I thought it appropo to Anakin and Palpatine's relationship.

What do you think? (WLOR, I also thought of Sauron somehow as well. Perhaps the mention of gold bands and rings, eh?)

-------- Wrapped Around Your Finger ---------

You consider me the young apprentice
Caught between the Scylla and Charibdes,
Hypnotized by you if I should linger
Staring at the ring around your finger
I have only come here seeking knowledge,
Things they would not teach me of in college
I can see the destiny you sold
Turned into a shining band of gold

I'll be wrapped around your finger

Mephistopheles is not your name
But I know what you're up to just the same
I will listen hard to your tuition
And you will see it come to it's fruition

I'll be wrapped around your finger

Devil and the deep blue sea behind me
Vanish in the air you'll never find me
I will turn your face to alabaster
Then you'll find your servant is your master,

And you'll be wrapped around my finger

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