The Vader Monologues (humor)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by BlindMan, Dec 31, 2001.

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  1. Raptor517 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 12, 2006
    star 4
    At least Anakin and Vader are being honest with each other. Loved the deal about the casserole burning.[face_laugh]

    Raptor517
  2. BlindMan Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2001
    star 2
    Healer_Leona : Thanks!

    piratedreamer : Thank you!

    justicejedi : You're quite welcome!

    Raptor517 : Well, if they're going to be honest (or even just agree) over anything, I figure it'd be about Padme...


    More votes for a sequel, hm? [face_thinking]


    :) Blind Man
  3. Fanficfan Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 12, 2005
    star 3
    Hold up, you're implying that this is a democratic vote. Which in turn implies that if you receive more vote "for" a sequel than you do "against" that you will create one. If this is indeed the case then I would like to place a vote for myself, one for my brother, one fo rmy best mate, and one each for mum, dad, girlfriend, fellow students at TAFE (26), and my dog.
    That's 33 all up.

    Anyway, loved the latest.
    A: I know. You married her because she's freakin' hot.

    V: No, I married her because she's a smart, strong, capable, independent woman.

    (pause)

    V and A: (in unison) BAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!



    Didn't Anakin marry Padme? Then Vader sort of inherited her when he became the dominant personality.
    Doesn't matter, as always BlindMan, very funny. And within the time frame that you specified =D= I'm very proud of you. Eagerly awaiting another Vader Monologue, or Obi monologue.
  4. Jedi_Master_Cazz Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 13, 2005
    star 4
    Heh heh heh heh! The Power-Coupling! Heh heh heh heh!

    Awesome!

    Cheers_Cazza@};-
  5. Stargazer-19 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 29, 2004
    star 2
    A: I know. You married her because she's freakin' hot.

    V: No, I married her because she's a smart, strong, capable, independent woman.

    (pause)

    V and A: (in unison) BAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!


    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Too Funny. Jedi or Master of Evil, men are always men.






  6. BlindMan Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2001
    star 2
    Fanficfan : Well, if the *dog* is voting, I'll have to seriously consider it... ;)

    [face_laugh] Too funny! (I'm proud of me, too. ;) ) Thanks for reading!


    Jedi_Master_Cazz : Thanks! :)

    Stargazer-19 : Thank you! :)


    :) Blind Man


  7. piratedreamer Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2006
    star 3
    I'm voting for a sequel too!!!:D
  8. Laine_Snowtrekker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2003
    star 5
    Great last monologue! And funny! [face_laugh]
  9. BlindMan Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2001
    star 2
    piratedreamer : Vote tallied! :)

    Laine_Snowtrekker : Thanks! :)


    As far as the sequel goes...you folks are just evil. ;) Pure, pure evil, putting that notion in my head. Because it wasn't something I'd been considering. And because the notion just wouldn't leave. And because it just kept scraping at my mind like a puppy at the door. And because now...

    ...*now*...


    ...I have an idea.


    But it's not Obi-Wan. ;) :p


    I'm still debating whether or not to wait until I've finished the Vader Monologues before I start it up, to try and get a few "in the can" before I start posting them over on the Saga board; or if I should just go ahead and post the first sooner rather than later, and add more as time allows.

    Any thoughts, you sinister folk? ;)


    :) Blind Man
  10. piratedreamer Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2006
    star 3
    I might recommend finishing the Vader Monologues first, then posting the sequel. It'll give you plenty of extra space to play with later when you need it. :D

    Congrats on the Saga Nom!!!!
  11. Fanficfan Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 12, 2005
    star 3
    I agree with Piratedreamer. Finish with Vader first, then move on to your new toy boy/girl.
  12. Ascal_Elessar Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2004
    star 3
    A: And what do you plan to tell her? "That smoke? Oh, somebody just burned a casserole in the Temple cafeteria. Don't worry about it." Or maybe, "Hey, honey! I just slaughtered the Jedi, and I'm starved. What's for dinner?"

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] fantastic, as always! Can't wait to see what you've planned for the sequel.
  13. BattousaiCV Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 29, 2007
    star 1
  14. DarthBreezy Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2002
    star 6
    Post post post!!!

    We are used to long waits - just get us started!!!
  15. I love Sci Fi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2000
    star 4
    WEEEEE!!! I come back after a long break and have several great posts to read.

    Doing wonderful BlindMan. Keep up the good work.
  16. BlindMan Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2001
    star 2
    Just checking in to let you all know I'm not dead... ;)


    Ascal_Elessar : Thanks!

    BattousaiCV : Thank you!

    I love Sci Fi : Good to see you again! Thanks!


    As far as the sequel Monologue series goes, I'm thinking I'll hold off a bit longer until I finish with Vader. (Sorry Breezy! :) ) If I change my mind, though, you'll be the first ones to know.

    The next monologue is burbling in the back of my mind, but hasn't quite solidified yet.

    In lieu of that, I hope you'll permit me to pimp the work of a far greater writer than I could ever hope to be: Neil Gaiman.

    Specifically...if you enjoy fantasy films with liberal splashes of humor, heaping helpings of romance...action and adventure...then run, do not walk, to your local multiplex and see Stardust.

    Now.

    A fun, romantic script that had even my own manly self misty-eyed :p, great performances all around--Robert DeNiro is priceless as Captain Shakespeare; Claire Danes is, quite appropriately, luminous (pun intended) as Yvaine--a nice adventurous score...this is, quite simply, the best film I've seen in ages.

    Unfortunately, it appears to have opened in fourth place at the box office, with only $9 million dollars (at least at the time I'm writing this)--barely above fifth-place Underdog, for heaven's sake [face_frustrated]:mad: . A movie like this deserves *so* much better--so if you like any of the aforementioned elements, do yourselves a favor and check it out. You won't regret it.

    (Thus ends this public service announcement. :) )


    Stardust


    :) Blind Man
  17. BlindMan Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2001
    star 2
    And here it is! :)


    ON CORUSCANT (3):


    (Having just helped kill Mace Windu, and pledging himself to the Dark Side, Vader discusses with Palpatine the idea of the Jedi moving against the Senate. He receives his instructions to go to the Jedi Temple, then to the Mustafar system.)

    PALPATINE: Once more the Sith will rule the galaxy, and we shall have peace.

    (Vader leaves to carry out his orders.)

    ANAKIN: You don't actually believe the Jedi will kill the Senators, do you?

    VADER: It could happen.

    A: Don't be ridiculous. Besides, I seem to recall you telling Padme that you didn't like the way the Senate was set up. When you were having your little romp in the meadow with her before the war started?

    V: That was just me workin' it. You know, trying to sound all political and stuff, and still be the bad boy. Because chicks totally dig that sort of stuff.

    A: If you say so...

    V: And it worked! Score, baby!

    A: All right, just for the sake of argument, suppose the Jedi did take over. You know they could do it without bloodshed--and it'd actually be kind of wizard!

    V: It would be a nightmare. They'd just sit around meditating, and nothing would ever get done.

    A: Because the Senate gets so much done now, right?

    V: Good point, but still.

    A: And the Jedi might not get anything done--but they'd be doing it with lightsabers! Which is just so much cooler than doing nothing *without* a lightsaber.

    V: Lightsabers do make everything cooler...

    A: And Mace would have made a great Chancellor. 'Cause you know he would have been all, "I am tired of these mother effin' filibusters on this mother effin' bill!"

    V: Hmmm. Well, too late for it now. This is all pointless speculation, anyway.

    A: So you *don't* think the Jedi will move against the Senate, then?

    V: Perhaps not.

    A: Then go tell Palpatine that, and get away from all this! Do the right thing, man!

    V: No can do. He's got the knowledge that I need to help Padme, and to become stronger in the Force.

    A: So you're just going to abandon your own beliefs for the sake of personal gain?

    V: Yep.

    A: Man, you're in the wrong line of work. You would have made a great politician.

    V: Okay, now you're just being mean...



    :) Blind Man
  18. Laine_Snowtrekker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2003
    star 5
    Hilarious! That was great, Anakin saying that Vader could have been a politician. :) [face_laugh]

    And thanks for the PM! See, it makes me respond faster. :D
  19. Raptor517 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 12, 2006
    star 4
    Ouch. Anakin, that was below the belt. Though I do think Mace would havbe made a great chancellor.

    Raptor517
  20. justicejedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2006
    star 3
    =D= Fantastic as usual. I can't wait for the sequel!
  21. BlindMan Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2001
    star 2
    Thanks, all! :)


    :) Blind Man
  22. Ascal_Elessar Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2004
    star 3
    A: And Mace would have made a great Chancellor. 'Cause you know he would have been all, "I am tired of these mother effin' filibusters on this mother effin' bill!"

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Have to agree though, Mace'd make a great chancellor.

    Brilliant as always.
  23. astroanna Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2002
    star 4
    Great job, as usual, BlindMan! :)
  24. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    What a treat to get the PM!! :D :D

    Stardust is one movie I so want to sdee on the big screen. [face_love]

    A: Because the Senate gets so much done now, right?

    V: Good point, but still.


    But still nothing!! Don't even try to compare. lol

    A: Man, you're in the wrong line of work. You would have made a great politician.

    V: Okay, now you're just being mean...


    Ha!! [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
  25. Jedi_Master_Cazz Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 13, 2005
    star 4
    Poor Vader, man Anakin, that was tense! A good politicion? The WAS mean!

    Cheers_Cazza@};-
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