Saga The Very Secret Diary of Darth Vader (Dear Diary Challenge) - humor - Reposted together!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by NYCitygurl, Jan 2, 2009.

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  1. The Musical Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 1999
    star 5
    You'd think Vader would be a little less warm and fuzzy about Luke being a Jedi... Little does he know he'll be Emperor soon, although not for long. :p
  2. Corellian_Ale Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 3, 2008
    star 4
    Hey! Doesn't Luke throw his lightsaber aside during that line? Vadey should give him the "this weapon is your life" speech!


    Cue ominous Sith lighting music... ;)
  3. dm1 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2004
    star 4
    Really short entry...right, Anakin Junior. Proud papa moment![face_laugh]

    I don't think he's going to like what happens next....[face_worried]
  4. QueenArdnassak Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2009
    star 4
    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]

    I can't believe I kept missing updates! This is getting too funny! Vader's narration of the fight is great. [face_laugh]
  5. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Emperor tried to sway my son to the Dark Side, but Luke/Anakin Junior just said, ?I am a Jedi, like my father before me!?

    Knew naming him Anakin Junior was a good idea.


    [face_laugh] Ah! The proud papa! [face_laugh] =D=
  6. Ubersue Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2008
    star 3
    Well maybe he would've been included more in the naming of his kids if he weren't so strangle-happy.
  7. Jedi_Master_Cazz Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 13, 2005
    star 4
    A little proud there Vadey? So Vader's having one of those proud parental moments, but what's he gonna think when Palpatine fancies a spot of roasty toasty Jedi?[face_thinking] Why does something tell me that Vader could very well believe that Luke deserved it some how, just as much as he's gonna be furious at Palpatine for even laying a single Watt on the boy.
  8. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    Jade_eyes: Me too! Very inspirational :D

    earlybird-obi-wan: [face_laugh] Still Vader ? too cool a name to give up :D

    JediKaren: [face_laugh] Nope :p

    GrandMasterKatarn: Nope! [face_laugh]

    Daena: Thanks!!

    Darth_Furio: Thanks!! Unfortunately, yes :(

    Azure: [face_laugh] Yep :D

    TMJ: Well, no official coronation or anything :p

    Ale: [face_laugh] Vader?s a bit preoccupied with being full of himself at the moment :p

    dm1: No, not really :p

    Ardy: Not a prob; I understand busy ;) Thanks!!

    Vadey: Quite :p

    Ubersue: [face_laugh] Strangle-happy ? I like that :D

    Cazz: Well, teenagers do cause a lot of trouble :p



    Entry Fifty-One

    Emperor tried to electrocute my kid, so I picked him up and threw him into the reactor shaft. Wish I?d thought of that twenty years ago; could?ve saved myself a ton of trouble wishing I was Emperor.

    The rebels started to destroy the Death Star v2.0 (Nooo!!! MY VIP LOUNGE!!!) so Luke/Anakin Jr. and I hightailed it to a ship.

    Unfortunately, the Emperor managed to electrocute me and I was near death (and just when I?d managed to kill him and take his place! Life is so unfair) so I collapsed, told Luke/Anakin Jr. to tell his sister, aka Princess Leia, that there really was good in me (I?d saved my son, after all), and then made him take off my helmet.

    Turns out that breathing without it is a bit hard. Plus, I so look less intimidating.

  9. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Super update. =D=

    Yes eliminating the Emperor 20 years ago would have saved everyone a lot of grief :p

  10. dm1 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2004
    star 4
    Indeed it would have.

    Wow, I think this was the longest entry... and then he dies... so I guess that would be the end of the diary, unless he has posthumous entries.
  11. QueenArdnassak Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2009
    star 4
    (Nooo!!! MY VIP LOUNGE!!!)

    "I'm dying! But Junior, run back and save the VIP lounge!" [face_laugh]
  12. GrandMasterKatarn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 8, 2008
    star 4

    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]

    great entry. laughed so hard it scared my cat.
  13. DaenaBenjen42 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2005
    star 5
  14. Darth_Furio Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2008
    star 7
    Another funny but yet sad entry. Vader's final thoughts are his turest. The VIP lounge is gone. Sad. Anyway, well done NYC. Loved every entry.
  15. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    Not the lounge!
  16. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Poor Vader, he should have done that but being emperor:eek: He couldn't have saved his son. Last entry? Or will he comment on Anakin jr in the afterlife?
  17. dm1 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2004
    star 4
    Now there's a thought!
  18. Jedi_Master_Cazz Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 13, 2005
    star 4
    Don't worry Vader, soon you'll be up in that great, leather upholstered VIP lounge in the sky... Although you may have to deal with Obi-wan hogging the Caf machine.

    I'm absolutely [face_laugh]-ing, but after all these years, Vader's death still gets me. :(
  19. Corellian_Ale Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 3, 2008
    star 4
    Unfortunately, the Emperor managed to electrocute me and I was near death (and just when I?d managed to kill him and take his place! Life is so unfair) so I collapsed, told Luke/Anakin Jr. to tell his sister, aka Princess Leia, that there really was good in me (I?d saved my son, after all), and then made him take off my helmet.



    You mean all I had to do was push him down the elevator shaft?!?!?! [face_laugh]


    Turns out that breathing without it is a bit hard. Plus, I so look less intimidating.

    Like in "Airplane!" when someone keeps accidentaly pinching off the old lady's oxygen supply! [face_laugh]


    Is this it??? Will we see Vader partying in the afterlife???? [face_praying]
  20. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Wish I?d thought of that twenty years ago; could?ve saved myself a ton of trouble wishing I was Emperor

    That would have made for a very interesting Galaxy, wouldn't it? :p

    Nice to see Vader keep his sense of humor intact while he lay dying.

    Great update

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  21. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Emperor tried to electrocute my kid, so I picked him up and threw him into the reactor shaft. Wish I?d thought of that twenty years ago; could?ve saved myself a ton of trouble wishing I was Emperor.

    Don't you hate it when you come up with the perfect come back...just too late? :p
  22. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    Jade_eyes: Thanks!! Yeah, right?!

    dm1: Yeah, near-dead people get chatty ;) There is one more :)

    Ardy: [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    JediMasterKatarn: [face_laugh] Thanks!!

    Daena: Thanks!!

    Darth_Furio: Thanks!!

    Azure: [face_laugh]

    earlybird-obi-wan: There?s one more entry :)

    dm1: [face_laugh]

    Cazz: [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Yeah, but at least it was a good death ? he saved his son :)

    Ale: [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Airplane is a great movie :D And there?s one more post :)

    Kelia: There would be lots of caf. And banthas. And Tarkin definitely would have met his death sooner :p Thanks!!

    Vadey: [face_laugh]



    Okay, this is it - the final post. It's about half a year too late (I wrote 52 entries for 52 weeks . . . and then kept forgetting to update :p).

    It's been an awesome ride. Short as the story is, it's been one of my favorites to write. I'm glad so many of you loved it too - thank you so much for all your support [:D]

    I don't have any plans for a sequel, though I have toyed with the idea of writing another diary for another character. However, I do recommend reading Jaya Solo's The Once and Future Sith Lord and Blindman's The Vader Monologues - they're both awesome, funny stories :D I'm also planning to, as requested about a year ago 8-}, post all the entries together at the end to make catching up/rereading easier. I'll do it in a few days :)


    Thank you so much for reading [:D] It's been a blast :D


    Entry Fifty-Two

    The Force is all life, and that crap. I wasn?t feeling the goody, peace-loving vibes in the afterlife (and by ?feeling? I mean that I felt other people doing it and didn?t want to join in). Instead, I decided to look for the VIP lounge. This place had to have one. Maybe I would get a pet bantha, shake the place up a bit.

    While looking for the VIP lounge, I ran into Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Mace Windu, with a backup of a few hundred people I?d killed.

    ?Hello, Anakin,? Obi-Wan said.

    Oops.
  23. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    [face_laugh]

    [face_laugh]

    So ... funny literally from first word to last!

    [:D]

    :)

    Am reading Once and Future Sith Lord and it is a riot so must needs check out Vader Monologues [face_laugh] [face_dancing]

  24. FelsGoddess Game Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2004
    star 5
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]

    Just read this whole thing. Fantastic. He's so casual about everything.

    Oops [face_laugh][face_laugh]

    =D==D==D=
  25. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Young Anakin again oops[face_laugh]

    Loved the entire diary
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