FF:VIC The VicFF Star Wars Story Game

"Pie Fighters at 12 o'clock" yelled Ham

"Don't worry" replied Lute "It is only half past five. We have plenty of time!"

"Drole very drole" sighed Ham.

Ham and Lute then manned the Ford Falcon's 2 astro blasters

 

Meanwhile, Princess_Shari was being tortured by the evil LordVaderFF and his menacing chinese burn droid.

Just then, LordVaderFF stopped silent and cocked his head. "I sense a disturbance in the force.....YOBBO!!!! But yet, there may be another wielder of the Force."

Strangely enough, Princess_Shari could feel the presence approaching as well. She couldn't explain this surge of power, or how she suddenly had the ability to sense it as well. All she knew was that she would be able to suffer the torture of the Imperial chinese burn droid for a while longer yet, as it was pleasing her in ways she had never felt before.

 

"Hmmmmmm" Princess_Shari thought to herself "This feels strangely good"

"Enough" yelled LordVaderFF in frustration "We will continue this later. I have something else to attend to."

LordVaderFF stormed out and left the Princess almost begging for some more torture eve at the disgust of the torurer droid.

Back on the Ford Falcon all aboard were in deep concentration.

 

"What is that ahead?" aske Yobbo.

"I don't know?" said Ham "There are no planets on the chart"

Then to their horror they realised the distant astral object was indeed man made. An orb as big as a moon.
Quickly Ham turned the Falcon but as he did a beam shot out form the orb and begun to suck them in.

 

"They have us in a tractor beam" spouted Ham.

"How do you know that?" asked Lute

"On the side of the orb next to the beam it says 'John Deere' relied Ham.

On the OrbOfDeath a huge hatch opened and the Ford Falcon was sucked into its cargo bay.

 

The Falcon landed in the docking bay and was immediately surrounded by a squad of CornTroopers. They entered the craft to search it.
Minutes later they emerged without finding anything. One of them signalled to his commander that all was clear and then continued back inside.

 

Yobbo, Lute, Ham, C3PoT, MixoD2 and Cheetos stealthily crept from the captured Falcon and foung their way to a control office.

"We can not deactivate the tractor beam from here" said Yobbo "I will go and find it and meet you back at the ship"

"We will go and save the Princess" said Lute

So the 4 humanoids left on their various journeys leaving behind C3Pot and MixoD2 to help with any deactivation.

 

To help with Cheetos looking not as conspicuous Lute and Ham tied his wrists together. MixoD2 has told them that the Princess was held in a detention block so thats where they were heading.

Yobbo meanwhile stealthily made his way through the corridors and passages of the mighty floating machine of death and towards the deactivation chamber for the tractor beam and cargo doors.

 

The 2 humanoids and Cheetos entered the cell block office.

"Who or what is this?" asked the chief warden in respect to Cheetos.

"Prisoner 12a for redirection too this cell block" replied the costumed Ham.

"I have no knowledge of this" replied the Warden "I better confirm it with head office"

The Warden then approached his microphone.

All of a sudden Ham started to fire his blaster all over the room.

 

Lute then himself pulled out a blaster and fired at the cell block attendants.

Amongst the smoke and carbon scent Cheetos let out a huge roar and pulled a tic single hair from his head. He then prceeded to blow on the hair and it multiplied into 20 mini Cheetos who also joined in the fight.
The nature of Cheetos is irrepressable!

 

Ham liked what he saw. 20 Cheetos taking on the bad guys. He used the opportunity to storm down the cell corridor with rake in hand. "I smell a beaut-i-ful lady"

Lute yelled, "Pigsy, I mean Ham (get it?) Have you sniffed out the princess? Hurry the Corntroopers are too many for even Cheetos!"

Ham slammed his powerful rake through the cell door where he could smell a delicious woman. "It's about bloody time! Get that snout outta my face!" directed Princess_Shari.

 

All 3 heroes plus the Princess then slid down a vertical shaft and landed in a rubbish containment room.

Cheetos roared in anger and the Princess began chanting a head-ache sutra which caused him much pain.

Lute noticed somethin moving under the slimy waste deep water that they were trapped in. A large tenatacle.
The tentacle slid up his leg armour.

"Ohh you naughty thing" screamed Lute as he was dragged under the water

 

They all stared in horror as Lute met his death.
"There must be something we can do!" cried Ham.
"Wait here, I've got an idea!" Princess_Shari yelled as she made her way back to her prison cell.
A few brief moments later she returned with the struggling Imperial chinese burn droid. The princess threw the droid into the water, and seconds later Lute reappeared.
"Thanks, princess, if there is anything I can do for you..."
"Actually there is, Lute" Princess_Shari sighed as she inched seductively close to Lute.

 

Lute inched towards Shari and their lips were about to touch when all of a sudden he noticed a distinct lack of interest in his sex drive, almost a feeling that Shari was like a sister to him.
They pulled bakc and continued after Ham and Cheetos.

Meanwhile deep within the battlestation Yobbo was destroying the tractor beam panels and was heading back to the hanger

 

C3PoT pondered for moment, hidden with R2Mixo aboard the OrbofDeath.

"It seems to me that they've been gone an awfully long time. Oh curse my rusted Huggard construction, I'm just not able to keep up with you newagers."

The astromech droid blurted something rude, forcing C3PoT to hide lower as some Corntroopers walked past.

"Really!! I don't know were you heard that language from, it most certainly wasn't me."

He peaked up over the edge as R2Mixo began to hum a tune to itself. "What are you doing? You'll get us all found out? Why do you always have to SING everything?"

The droid bleapt back at him.

"I'll have you know that my mother would never comport herself in that way, even if I had a mother, which being a droid, I don't. Now move aside, we must check on the others!"

He began to study the computer port, and as R2Mixo jacked in, he sighed with relief that the heroes had managed to keep the 'G' rating of all forum based posts, and not deviated into a debauched orgy of PG-13ness...
As C3PoT watched via the systems holocams, he say the heroes......doing....


TAG: My New age friends.

 

Lute grabbed his com-badge and told C3PoT and Mixo D2 to make their way back ti the hanger. On the way though the fleeing foursome ran into a squa of Corntroopers and a fork in the tunnel shaft.
Lute and Princess Shari ran down one and Ham and Cheetos the other.
Lute and Shari ran errantly firing behind them at the foe.
All of a sudden they hit the edge of a automatic bridge which was locked open.Lute swiftly shut the door behind them and pondered their next move

 

"We're going to die!!!!" screamed Princess Shari as she clung to Lute. "There is something I need to tell you, Lute, I think I'm in lo..."
"Dammit, Princess, shutup! I'm trying to think here", Lute ordered the Princess.
But deep down he was woried he would never get a chance to tell R2Mixo how he truly felt for him.
"Wait, I've got it! We'll...

 

...Jump down the shaft and hope for the best. Shall we go together?"

Shari gripped Lute tighter than anyone ever before. Feeling his muscles bulge, nearly tearing through the clothing.

One step. Falling. Falling. Fall - hovering? Hovering? What? How? A telepathic voice came into Lute's head. And strangely Shari could hear the Jedi's voice also.
"Lute I did not begin training you for you to foolishly jump to your death! - AND take your sis- Ah, princess with you!"

"Yobbo?" "Yes, Lute, it is I. Now get back there and return to the Ford Falcon. I have a matter to finish here."

The pair were shot back up the shaft and landly safely on the other side of the bridge, as corntroopers came running in from the opposite side.

 

MixoD2 and C3PoT were waiting outside the Ford Falcon as the 2 parites arrived from opposite ends. Ham and Cheetos and Lute and Shari met at the Falcon's entrance door.

Suddenly Lute turned and saw in the distance Yobbo and the menacing VaderFF locked in a mexican stand-off with their laser sabres drawn.

Lute drew his sabre and yelled out "Yobbo"
"Leave him kid" said Ham "He wants us to go"
But Lute stayed and watched, he turned to Shari with his sabre on and it suddenly flopped, he knew then that his attraction to her was wrong. But why?

Yobbo and Vader were deep in concentration and conversation

 

"You're weak old fool. Your powers have laid dormant for far too long" spoke LordVaderFF.

"Ah, but I taught you everything you know" counted Yobbo.

"Not THIS!" Vader screamed as he thrusted his foot into Yobbos groin.

"You have fouled my undercarriage! A most dishonourable blow!" winced Yobbo.

With Yobbo coiled up grimacing in pain, LordVaderFF sliced in a downward motion, taking off Yobbo's head, "There can be only ONE!"

Lute: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Ham: "We're leaving kid!"

 

Rolling on the floor Yobbo's head muttered "Please give me some 'body' to love"
and promptly with his body vanished.
VaderFF watched in anger as the free flying Ford Falcon raced out of the docking bay and into deep space.
VaderFF clenched his fist on anger and felt a disturbance in his pants
It was the Mexican he had last night

 

Meanwhile on the Falcon, Shari is comforting Lute when Ham rushes in.

"We got Pie's comen in." Said Ham "I need you to man the astro blasters with me."

"But i've never done that before." protested Lute.

"Don't worry"replied Ham."All you need to do is shoot wildly and yell like a cowboy."

 

The 2 heroes manned the blasters as a squadron of Pie Fighters approached at a rapid speed due to their "4 & 20" engines.

The 2 astroblasters fired at a furious rate, witht the Falcon being hit and Cheetos yelling out in anger as he tried to steer the failing ship.

Suddenly Lute destroyed one of the Pie Fighters and yelled out "Yeah Ha!"

"Settle Kid" replied Ham "We ar enot out of trouble yet"

Then Ham also destroyed a Pie Fighter.

"Cheetos put us into hyperdrive" yelled Ham
"Roar" replied Cheetos and the Falcon accelerated to a blinding speed leaving the Pie Fighter behind and that Star System

 

Safe from harm, the group chartered Ham to take them back to the secret New Age hideout.

------------SCENE CHANGE-----------------


"The New Age IS upon us people! Many New Agers died to get the plans to the Orb of Death from the Huggards. Only one forseeable way has been forseen by our Forsee-ers to destroy it. A single thorpedo down the lips of the orb and into the central hole! The hole is a tight fit. So some of our best pilots will be making the attempts - Wedgie and Biggin will lead each squadron.
Good luck men! May the New Age be with you."
,says the red Squidfaced man.

 

Lute through some miracle and oversight, having no experience or military knowledge hopped into a Moosewing Fight(wings are the shape of a moose antler) and took flight with the rest of the Rebel attack armada.

The armada consisted of 3 squadrons of Moosewings and a handfull of OhhWhy fighters(ships that always fail in battle)