Before The Vision - Obi & Qui (1/1)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jemmiah, Mar 4, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Jemmiah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    TITLE: The Vision
    AUTHOR: Jemmiah
    CHARACTERS: Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon
    DESCRIPTION: The future may always be in motion, but can Obi-Wan prevent a horrific vision from coming true?
    SET: Obi-Wan is 19
    AUTHOR'S NOTE: This one-off snapshot forms part of the Jemmiah Chronicles but works equally well on its own (I hope!)



    What ails you, padawan, Qui-Gon wondered silently as he watched Obi-Wan's retreating figure depart towards the balcony. What is there on this near perfect, star filled evening that makes you fret and pace the room with such restlessness? And what can I do to reassure you?

    The mission to Menkara had been fraught with unforeseen setbacks as well as the usual diplomatic pitfalls which Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had tried most valiantly to avoid. There was no overall ruler on the planet: no outright king or governing body to look after Menkara's welfare and that of the people. Instead, four kings shared the domestic responsibility of caring for their own principalities - four kings who had never seen eye to eye on any matter and most likely never would.

    Two of those kings were cousins. And it was their own border disputes that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had been sent to resolve.

    King Gerru, whose hospitality they were currently 'enjoying' was a young man who had ascended the throne on the death of his uncle and his entire family, wiped out some five years before by an assassin whilst they were enjoying their royal vacation to nearby Ymprana. With no clear successor, and with no constitutional rule of succession ever having been declared in law, it had fallen to the then nineteen year old Gerru to take up the mantle of monarch, and do the best he could with a role that arguably he was never born to have.

    Gerru had proven affable - but paranoid in the extreme. Of a nervous and fragile disposition, only the presence of his wife and young children seemed to expunge the distrust in his eyes. Everyone and everything around him was a potential threat. With his cousin, whose country bordered that of his own principality, making war-like threats against him he had requested the Republic send him a handful of Jedi negotiators to pave the way between the two rivals. Not to mention guard his royal personage against any assassins?

    He hadn't been pleased when only two Jedi had turned up instead of the bodyguard he had requested, Qui-Gon thought. However, his attitude had rapidly changed when Obi-Wan had sensed the presence of a hidden being lurking amidst the pillars of the sacred gardens?

    "Padawan?" Qui-Gon walked towards the young man, placing a hand upon his shoulder. "Could you not sleep?"

    "No, master." Obi-Wan replied hesitantly, not turning to face the taller Jedi. Instead he gazed out across the dark waters of the lake that surrounded the palace, the moon casting its reflected light against the gently lapping waves. "My mind would not be still, and I thought that the sound of the water might soothe me."

    "And has it?" Qui-Gon asked politely.

    Obi-Wan's eyes finally met those of his master. "In truth, not as much as I had hoped. But I think that is my fault: perhaps I will not allow myself to relax as I should."

    Qui-Gon nodded. "You are troubled, padawan. Would you not share your thoughts with me? Perhaps unburdening yourself might bring some relief of mind. Was it perhaps," he ventured tentatively, "what happened in the gardens this afternoon?"

    The padawan's face clouded momentarily at the memory, yet to Qui-Gon's surprise he shook his head dismissively.

    "Not really. Perhaps in part, but," Obi-Wan frowned, "It is not the sole reason. I feel confused?uncertain of what to do."

    "Do?" Echoed Qui-Gon.

    Obi-Wan shuffled uncomfortably under his master's scrutiny, the white-knuckled grip he had of the balcony railing growing more pronounced.

    "Would you save a man, if you could, and you knew his life were in danger? Even if you did not like the man, and believed him to be the cause of more evil and treachery than those who persecuted him?" The padawan demanded calmly, awaiting/>
  2. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Oh wow Jem. That was... brutal. At first I couldn't imagine why Qui-Gon would think to not inform Gerru could possibly be what the Force could want, whether the man was liked or not.

    Still, I'm not sure I'm anymore comfortable with Qui-Gon voicing to his apprentice that telling Gerru hastened his and his family's murders, will of the FOrce or not.

    A very stunning piece indeed. So very full sad visions.
  3. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Beautifull written, disturbing and powerful! =D=
  4. kenobiwanobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2005
    star 3
    Amazing job with this touching and haunting piece.
  5. Noelie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2005
    star 4
    I really like this Jemmiah for several reasons.

    We could debate the idea that our fate is fixed all day long, but whether we agree or disagree in the end, your story gives us something to think about.

    I was impressed you went out of your usual "play" mode to write something so thought provoking.

  6. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    I loved this, Jem. A beautiful, beautiful piece. I liked the way you wove Gerru's destiny to die - that the Force has its own way of doing things. I believe that despite our choices, some things are destined to happen. The way your narration broght in Obi-Wan's grief was wonderful. And Qui-Gon's own vision.

    Bravo!
  7. mouse2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    A brilliant snapshot Jem!

    Yes it was a bit disturbing, but at the same time it really make you think. Sometimes that not acting on a vision will be more effective for the result than acting and/or trying to do something about it. Yet there is still that possibility that no matter what you do it will still end up the same.

    An incredible piece of work! =D=
  8. Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2005
    star 1
    oh wow. That was incredible!!!! The mirroring of visions......wonderful!
  9. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Oh, wow.

    Qui-Gon watched him for a moment, deep in thought. Visions were not something that had tended to plague him over the years the way they seemed to dog Obi-Wan, and yet there was one?one special one that continued to haunt him no matter how hard he put it to the back of his mind. One filled with burning hot suns, dry air and whirling, cruel sands that flayed the skin?and Obi-Wan. Tired and dispirited. Ageing and friendless. On his own.

    Alone.

    This time it was Qui-Gon's turn to shudder
    .

    Very haunting. I love it.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.