Discussion in 'EU Community' started by lexu, Jun 24, 2002.
Ewoks! Attack the clueless newbie!
*50 ewoks run forward with spears and wildly cute battle cries *
All right-but any messes made by Ewoks will be cleaned up by you...or ELSE!!!
grabs the nagaika*.
*traditional Cossack whip.
i dont mind, once the ewoks are done there wont be much but a few gorry bones
and yew they are potty traind, so i dont need to worry about that
...potty trained Ewoks...hehehehe...
Now there's something I've never heard of before. *snickers*
it was tough at first to get them to go potty. At first some did not get it and tried to eat out of the trainer potties i had set up. A good idea, dont make the guys go #1 standing up, becuase their aim is not all that great.
through the use of electro shock and dog treats you too can potty train your own ewok
now i just got to get them to learn to put the seat down when they are done.....
Better than un-potty trained ones.
Oh wait, they'd probably fling their own fecal matter like monkeys, right?
*schemes flicker through mind*
*runs over to communications terminal*
Yes, hello, Exotic Pets Inc. (patent pending)? My name is Chip Jansen calling on behalf of Lady lexu. I would like 25 of your of your most ill mannered Ewoks. All should be non-, I repeat, non-potty trained.
Could you please send them to the room of Lady lexu. If she's not there, just leave them in her room. The code's "2 epsilon booty-scoot peek-a-boo."
Oh, and if it isn't too much trouble, could you please give each Ewok a laxative upon delivery? Good. And you can charge this to my good friend, SirLancelot's, Galactic Gold Card. Oh, no credit cards?
OK, his bank account number is 88X94763A and his password is "Frilly Lace."
Alright, pleasure doing buisness with you.
Okay, you guys don't get it. cracks nagaika.
No Ewok messes! I mean it!
Or you'll clean them up with your toothbrushes and then use those same toothbrushes to brush your teeth!!!
"I am slain. What mischance ever brought me to this dismal world, where bags of paint would spell my doom?"
"Your orders are simple. I punch. You suffer. Got it?"
*lexu gets home after long hours of hard labor looking forward to a luxurious bubble bath. Actually, I don't like bubble baths, but humor me. She opens the door and is immediatly bombarded with an attrocious smell. Before recovering, a tribe of Ewoks pour from the door, nearly knocking her over. They scatter down the corridor in where ever it is that we seem to live and lexu is left standing in the hall way.*
But, it's okay. I'm not mad. Really. Becuase although my fine Alderaanian carpets are ruined and the smell will probably never come out, there's something that makes it all better. Something that makes it rather enjoyable even.
Attention, people! I've decided that we're changing quarters. That means someone is taking mine. Can anyone guess who that special someone is? Hmm? Anyone?
And this, of course, is not the end, my dear JFT. Sleep well, tonight. (Alone, by the way.)
And LOL at the Potty-trained Ewoks, Lance.
Tonight, we both sleep alone, my dear lady, but my bed is empty by choice.
*sticks tongue out*
Anyway, the smell won't bother me, as I lived with Wes for the first 18 years of my life. If I can survive that, I can withstand any smell in existance.
Just keep laughing and stop by the EUMNN thread.
You wound me m'lady.
Tryin to see if my sig is fixed...please work...
stuns Chip with the cattle prod.
Wes smells sexy. Stop it.
Wes does NOT smell sexy, he smells like a heard of nerf running through big whopping pile of Ewok feces.
And now a song inspired by the "Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen" theme:
My quarters reek of Reeks.
Our Wes is really large,
And he smells like rotting beef carcasses.
turns cattle prod up a notch Wanna go for two, maggot?
You wound me m'lady.
Whoever taught you that calling a girl "m'lady" would make her swoon was definatly, definatly right.
Perhaps I should put my title on my signature, as everyone else is... But, is my title less than 250 characters? Hmm...
Wouldn't you rather bend me over your knee and spank me? I've been a very naughty boy.
You could just put "Chip's Personal Goddess."
But then people would ask, "Who is this 'Chip?'" and I would have to reply, "Jansens_Funny_Twin, who worships the spork I eat with and pillow I drool on." Then people would go, "Jansens_Funny_Twin? Wasn't he on EUMNN?" "Yes, yes he was." "Oh." So you see, that wouldn't be impressive at all.
Again, you wound me m'lady.
Go see my latest broadcast, it's quite.....revealing.
BTW, do you mind if I keep your toothbrush that you left in your old quarters? It would go great in my shrine.
"Janson switched Cheriss's blastsword to his left hand. 'Wait! Look at this.' He waved it furiously in the air before him. 'Look! A bantha!'
The glowing trail left in the air by the tip of his blastsword did, in fact, resemble a child's scrwaled impression of a bantha.
'Not familiar with banthas?' Janon shrugged. 'Try this.' He waved again, creating an unrecognizable snarl of glowing blue lines in another volume of air. 'An Adumari farumme! Here's another one.' He waved again, and the result, had it been processed through a computer and extensively repaired, could have resembled one of the local fighet-craft. 'A Blade-Thirty-two!'
Thanar just waited. 'Are you ready to die yet?'
'One more.' Where the banth scribble had faded, Janson traced another design. It was a stick figure of a man with a ridiculously tiny circle for a head. "It's Thanar ke Sekae!'
I remember that one from SOA.
As if I could use it now...
*Sighs* ...I guess I had better go and see how JFT's embarressed himself...
Hey, lexu, what's up with your signature?
Because of my latest....adventure...at the EUMNN, I've decided to put together this tape.
*Warning, the video you are about to see may not be suitible for sane people, but here, that won't be a problem*
It's Fanboys and Girls Gone Wild!!!
This video has it all, from Chip Jansen's live, on air recreation of the Full Monty...
"Lookin' for some hot stuff baby this evening."
...To lexu getting wild during last weeks pool party...
"Has anyone seen my top?"
And even rare footage of Guin getting it on with Chip...
"Want to go a second round, Maggot?"
Yes, we have it all hear, call today!
It's lack of humor shocking?
Song lyrics. Float by Bush. One of my favorite songs.
EDIT: *Gasp* I should murder you and let Wes give the eulogy, but Guin's line was hillarious, so I won't. Besides, I already got preemptive payback on EUMNN.