Before - Legends The Wierdest Story Ever Told (a entry for Writer's Race challange #3)

If you go to the Writer's race thread, you will see how this developed. The bold words are the original mini stories that the writers had to write the entry stories from. They developed from challenge #7. Yes I know 7 comes before 3; see how wierd it is already?
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Writer's race challenge #3 entry


The Weirdest Story Ever Told.
By jodiwent


I know some of you Could never believe my story. Be that as it may, you should believe a Jedi. My tale is a strange and maybe even disturbing one. The mind's a strange thing, and when many are put together it may be too bizarre, even for a Jedi. These ones that I speak of are organized in a strange place called The Force Net Jedi Council. Whether this is in honor or mocking of the original, I do not know.

What I do know is that these manipulators of time and space make me do strange things, like at random times I might yell out, "Spock!"

Now why I said that is beyond my comprehendsion. Dolefully, I doubt I will ever get out of their clutches.

It just makes me question my sanity. They'll be coming to takes me away. See that, just now I spoke like Popeye. I would never say takes me - -

If I say anything to my Master, he'll be signing the commitment papers to have me taken away to the loony bin. The ways of the Force are strange.

What kind of forces are arrayed against me? You say I must rely on the Force. What else would Obi-Wan Kenobi rely on? Let me say this so it won't have to be reiterated later, "I am a Jedi. The Force is With me."

So, you say there is not a plot against me. That makes me sigh. I'm telling you there are these beings controlling my every action; Even as I tell you This.

Was I on spice last night?

I was not.

These beings exists. How am I going to convince you it's real?

Well, how else could it be explained?

It is not a singular event that has me in this condition.

Force, I must be going crazy. Or - - Is it not logical to think some outside intervention is behind what has befell me time and time again? Does it make sense for me to blame these beings for controlling my destiny?

Logic dictates that I have the right to do as I wish, not as these Jedi Council creatures have me do.

Now what are they doing with me and many others of this galaxy? They are engaging at this very minute in something called 'the Writer's Race.' Anything is possible.

Without consent, they put me, my Master, anyone connected to my person, in strange and bizarre situations.

Logic tells me I'm going insane. There can be no other explanation. I'm going off balance.

I must call on the Force to help me. Is it listening?

'You are going off balance,' it whispers to me.

"But it's not my fault," I argue back.

The Force tells me otherwise. 'The idea that your life is being controlled by beings in another universe is illogical. Therefore, you are unbalanced.'

We're going in circles. I do not believe that I am going insane. This is a plot.

For example, sometimes I can be standing in the Temple, then there is this clicking sound - - All is still. Then I have to wonder where I'll end up. I find myself often in the most terrible predicaments where all I do is run for my life, fight for my life, or sometimes even loose my life. You know this could drive even a Jedi crazy.

'Maybe you're not the crazy one.'

"Come again?"

'Maybe the ones from this Force Net are the crazy ones.'

"Come again?"

I am a bit perturbed by this mystery.

'At least you're not a Vulcan, yet.'

"Is that what they intend to do, turn me into a Bothan?"

'For

 

Oh, blessed Force [goes purple in the face from laughter].That was simply...galuptious [I don't even know if the word exists...but it describes something....great ]

>>>>>>>>>Obi's lip quivers. He gives Qui his best 'woe is me' looks and asks, "you wouldn't leave me here?"

"Oh my Padawan," Qui starts. "Would I leave you here?"

Qui-Gon tilts his head and looks at his apprentice. "Damn strait." He activates the device and disappears. >>>>>>>>

And Obi's so pretty too. Not to mention a nice ornament. Even when he's contemplating insanity, and the loss of one eye-brow. One eye-brow, and yelling 'Spock' into the bargain? Argh. [collapses into laughter again]. Drat fan artists.

Mercy, Weird Story Writer. I can't....laugh...anymore. [This Writer's Race thing sounds interesting - how did I miss this??!!]

[stumbles away, to re-re-re-read story]

EDIT: Well, whaddaya know. 'galuptious' exists, and means any/all of the following:
Galuptious: delightful, excellent, superb, wonderful, terrific.

So I was right, after all.

EDIT 2: Whoa. I re-checked the URL I found the word in...and it's titled 'Weird Words'. [shakes head in wonder].

 

Oh wow. That was hilarious.

 

Oh lovely. Poor Obi-Wan. You did well with the challenge before you.



KD

 

That was great! I loved the self-insertion, and the whole Force Net thing. Completely lovable story. Poor Obi. It's always him, isn't it?

 

Thanks everyone for reading and replying. I had fun writing this crazy thing, and I'm glad it gave you a few laughs.

 

I'm going to be bad and up this one last time before it sinks into obilivion.