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Saga The Winter's Tale - one-post; final challenge story for 'Writer With the Force'

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Seremela, May 6, 2009.

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  1. Seremela

    Seremela Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 12, 2008
    For the final challenge in [link=]Writer with the Force[/link], we were to use a Shakespearean Play title as our title and write a story around it. I chose 'The Winter's Tale'.

    Title: The Winter's Tale
    Author: Seremela
    Main character: OFC, I don't want to spoil it by telling more


    They started to fall from the sky at the end of the thirty-fourth day after she had sent out her message; soft, white, without a sound, making the grey world around them suddenly much smaller. She held up her hand to catch one and shivered. The white flakes were cold, like everything was cold these days.

    It was finally here then, that which had been whispered about during the previous months. The Winter. And with it this? snow, something from the stories of her childhood and the grim books she had read as an adolescent, when she still had a home and a family that cared for her.

    Such a long time ago that was. She was old now, almost forty and no longer able to make her money the usual way, the only way open for women like her. Now all that was left was begging ? and stealing. She hated it, but there was nothing she wouldn?t do for her little girl, the daughter she shouldn?t have had.

    She looked down at Jinninia and found her staring at the soft white flakes in open mouthed wonder, her small hands trying to grab the strange things falling from the clouds. When one of the flakes fell into her mouth, her eyes sparkled and she laughed, a small, chiming sound Elonoa could never get enough off.

    It wasn?t fair. It wasn?t fair that this prettiness would lead to her little girl?s death. Jinninia would probably not even see her third birthday. And all because she had waited too long to send out her message, unable to give up the one good thing left in her life. Now Jinninia would pay for her mother?s weakness and pay severely.

    Elonoa gazed up into the sky, but it wasn?t the white snowflakes she saw, or the grey clouds. Instead she saw the stars of a beautiful Autumn night, with him by her side, pointing out from which part of the galaxy he came.

    Her savior. The one man she had thought she could trust. But he hadn?t come, despite all his promises. And she didn?t have anything left to trade for another transmission to Coruscant.


    Her daughter was tucking at her skirt and somehow she managed to drag up a smile for her. ?Yes, Jinninia, are you cold? Do you want to go home?? She held out her hand and Jinninia took it with utter trust. It nearly broke her heart.

    ?Story?? Jinninia begged, her eyes growing wide and pleading. This time Elonoa meant her smile and she nodded.

    ?I?ll tell you a story as soon as we?re home. And we?ll make a nice, hot fire.? The heater she would set aside for now, until there was no more wood to be found, when all the trees and brushes had crystallized into the hard substance that would help them survive the coming decade in a state of hibernation.

    ?Yeah!? Jinninia was already tugging at her hand, eager to get to their hiding place. She would probably want another story about the Jedi, but not tonight. Tonight Elonoa was going to tell her a Winter tale, so her daughter would know a bit about what was to come.

    Except, of course, about the way Winter killed.


    The next day, the thirty-fifth after she sent her message, a sharp cold woke her earlier than usual. The low morning light glittered through the broken glass window of the abandoned house she and Jinninia lived in, a biting wind its companion.

    He had found this place for her, a pile of rubble that held one surprisingly good room, well hidden so others wouldn?t discover it and take it from her. Best of all it also held a small garden. He had helped her create it between the piles of concrete, during those wonderful weeks they had had together, the best weeks of her life. He had shown her what to plant and how to take care of the small berry and kuja trees he bought for her. He
  2. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Sep 16, 2005
    Oh, my, I'm going to have to read this again to savor it once more. Wonderful, just wonderful.
  3. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    I agree, this is a piece to be read over and over again. I have a feeling I'll discover some new facet of it every time I do. Simply gorgeous!

    The whole world had changed. It had become so white, so pure, so quiet - quieter than she had ever seen it. The beauty of it took her breath away. She hadn?t expected dead to be this beautiful.

    Out of the whole exceptional piece, this passage really stood out for me! Absolutely stunning! =D=
  4. Seremela

    Seremela Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 12, 2008
    Valairy, Vadey, thank you both so very, very much!! [:D] [:D]

    This is truly high praise and it totally made my day. Especially since this wasn't easy to write, so I'm glad it came over right.

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