~The Writer's Lounge~

Sure, emilsson. PM me all the details you want. *goes off into corner and starts randomly doodling a sketch of a map*

 

Wow, emilsson!! That sounds really cool!

Hey, y'know what? I'm bored outta my mind, and since I can't think of anything to write for my fan fic, I'll just post a summary of my other story. It takes place during modern times on Earth, just outside of Miami, Florida.

It starts with a small group of (mostly) human friends, James, Sam, Jillian, Daniel, Rachel, and Cela. Now, as you've probably guessed from the name, Cela is no ordinary human. She's actually a half-elf, half-human princess from Vyrna, a world parallel to ours, created by the ancient dragons thousands of years ago. (Read my post a couple pages back to understand that whole thing) Cela's real name is Celestia Airavon, and she's the daughter of the Elven king Myrius on Vyrna. The reason she was on Earth in the first place is because she was driven out by conspirators who didn't want a half-human as heir to the throne. Celestia's mother was a human wizard named Celestine who had an affair with then-unmarried King Myrius, but who was killed before Myrius could marry her. Celestia came to Earth through a portal in the Bermuda Triangle that connects our world with Vyrna. One of her servants, Karena, went with her, and the two managed to make a fairly decent life living in Earth. Celestia was about eleven years old when this happened, and after about five years of waiting, she decides she's sick of hiding and wants to return to Vyrna. Karena and her new husband Jonathan (posing as Cela's parents) forbid her, but she sneaks out. Since her friends don't know of her true identity, they think she ran away. But then, her best friend James finds Cela's journal, telling the true story as to how she came to Earth. At first, James doensn't know what to think, but then he has a dream of Cela, and he knows she is in danger, so he goes and confronts Karena and Jonathan, who tell him the truth about his friend. And after seeing how certain James is that Cela is in danger, they agree to take James and his friends out in Jonathan's boat so that Karena can try to bring Cela back. But, while out on the boat, James gets a maddening sense that Cela is in danger, and without realizing it, jumps into the water. Right before this happens, a storm hits (convenient plot device on my part), and after James jumps in, a strong wave hits the boat, causing his friends to fall in after him. They eventually come out of the portal in Vyrna and meet up with Cela, who has been injured by lackeys from the conspirators who don't want her on the throne (another convienient plot device).

While all that has been going on, Vyrna has been going through some tough times. The Mongols have been conquering nearby territory, and are being led by the seventeen year old daughter of the deceased Great Khan (hey, it's my world, if I want a seventeen year old female Khan, I'll find a way!). Great Khan Versyris has taught her people how to build better ships (the Mongols live on a insolated island chain) and they are now attaking the Amazon islands (by Amazons I mean the female warriors from ancient Greece, not the South American tribal folk); Versyris knows that if she can capture the Amazon islands, she would have a perfect staging groud for an assault of the continent Luronia, which is where the Elves, Romans, Greeks, Celts, and Vikings live. Naturally, those people want to avoid that at all costs, so they all formed an alliance with the Amazons, providing them with more troops so they can defend their islands better.

Meanwhile, Cela and her human friends journey to the Elven capital city, where Cela is reunited with her father and her half-brothers and sisters. She also meets up with her twin, Skyliana, who is in training to become a wizard. (When the twins were born, Celestia, being the oldest, was chosen as Myrius's heir, while Skyliana was taken to follow in her mother's footsteps and be taught the ways of magic by Kaleion, the dragon-wizard.) Through several other convenient plot devices, the portal back to Earth is blocked and Cela's friends have no choice but to look for a

 

I just printed out that Elmore Leonard article from the first page, that is great.

I do write, I enjoy the hell out of it, and one day, after my stack of form rejection letters gets to big to fit in a drawer, someone's actually going to publish something. Hopefully. I write mostly suspense, horror, some sci-fi. Here's a quick little thing I wrote a couple years ago, a silly little idea that came to me one day.


===========================================

"Alright, Meat Heads! Get your Bacon Bit butts up here!" General Porker yelled at
his troops.

All the pigs that had been sitting around drinking and playing cards scrambled to
the front. There was a squeal as Charlie slipped on spilled beer and hit the ground,
prok chops first.

"Get up you tub of lard!"

"Yes sir." Charlie said and took his place in line.

General Porker walked up the line of pot-bellied soliders, he reached the end and
turned around. He snorted once and then began to speak.

"Okay, pigs, this is the situation. At oh-eight-hundred the cows, with the aid of
the roosters, took Farmer Dave's cornfield. This is a crucial piece of land for us,
we must get it back.

"The horses are planning an attack that come from the southeast. We will atack
from the north," General Porker snorted. "Our attack will begin after the horses', so
as to catch them when they are weak. We will move out in two hours. I want
everyone in full battle gear and ready to move out in forty-five." Another snort.

"Now move!"

"Yes sir!" they all yelled in unison and then ran off with a snort.



Charlie sat in the wagon that was moving the toward the cornfield. They were set
to do battle with the roosters in just under an hour. Charlie wasn't nervous, he
had been through this before. As he looked around at the rest of the soliders, or
"soilders" as they liked to call themseleves, not many of them were new faces.
There was one more new face, after the last battle, but the rest of them had
been together pretty much since the start of the war, five months ago.
Charlie's eyes stopped on the new guy. You look at him, you wouldn't tell that was
scared. Even hiseyes looked confident. But Charlie could see the small beads of
sweat just under the brim of his hat, and he had checked his weapon about ten
times in the last three minutes. Everyone else had done this before. This group,
under General Porker, had won all of the battles they had fought in, except one.
The Battle for the East Hayfield. That had been a hellish battle and it had almost
swung the war to the favor of the cows. Every pig who had survived that war still
bore the scars inflicted on them, both mental and physical.

Five muntes later the wagon stopped and quickly they all unloaded. Silently,
talking in whispers, they set up in the cornfield, off in the distance they could hear
the battle. The thunder of hooves, the mooing of cows, the neighing of the
horses. The clucking and cock-a-doodle-dooing of the roosters.

They were set. Everything was ready. All weapons locked and loaded, the
catapault was set. All that was left was for General Porker to give the command.

The General raised one hoof. The catapaulters got ready; the foot soliders got
ready. Porker brought his hoof down and they started into the field.



They started making their way into the cornfield. There foot soliders leading and
following, in the middle was the catapault. It was about ten minutes walking to
get to the area where the catapaults would be set up. As they walked Charlie
started to sense that something was wrong. It was something that was just out
of the reach of his thoughts and it was starting to drive him crazy. Kenny, the
point man looked at him and Charlie saw that he was thinking the same thing.

From the catapault area, two squads of foot soliders set out to the area where
the horses should be attacking the cows. They would come up behind the battle
and attack. They would give a signal and the catapaults would attack form a
distance.

They were almost there, t

 

Did anyone catch my link back there???? I would really love feedback on my work . . .


Shaden *^_^*

 

Hmmm...don't let this thread die guys! Please...anyone...I really want someone to help with my script! Please...it's a good story...just PM me! I'm desperate! LOL

 

DarthSnuggles, you really have a good story there.

Terr_Mys, your link does not work. But I am interested in learning about your story. Let's help each other out. So send me a PM with your overview and I give you some details about the maps I need .

 

(no message)

 

Up! Just in case anyone is interested in reading the early sketches of my script, you can find that here.

 

All right, anyone up for another bit of reading? (This marks the first time I've posted something original and not fanfic on the internet; feel special.) Lemme know what you think.

---

I ran into him the first time in the amusement park. My sister and her friends had decided to make a trip up there, and as they were all about thirteen, they needed a chaperone. I went, but I wasn't about to hang out with a bunch of thirteen year old girls all day, so I went wandering on my own.

I was never really big on amusement parks, so I mostly just wandered around looking at people. You get the most fascinating people at amusement parks. Big black guys covered in tattoos; typical WASP families with adorable children; extraordinarily fat women in Spandex; really skinny chicks in too-short shorts. All kinds of people. I like to walk behind them a ways, listen to their conversations and try to figure out their life's story. It's something to do.

I never would have noticed the guy unless he'd sat down next to me when I finally decided to try a rollercoaster. The ones at this park were all pretty tame, but I figured I might as well get something out of the admission price, so at about three in the afternoon I sat down in the middle of the train, and this normal-looking guy sat down next to me. When I say normal, I mean it - not a distinguishing feature about him. Brown hair, kind of tan, preppy clothes. He didn't say a word. Which was, I figured, okay; I didn't know him, after all.

Except he kept on with it. Didn't say a word through the whole thing. I mean, the coaster was pretty tame, but everybody screamed a little. It's what you do. Except for the guy next to me - he just sat there, like he was sitting on a bench in the park, through the whole ride.

Of course I followed him off. Hey, I had nothing else to do, and he was weird. He did pretty much the same thing all day; walked from ride to ride, rode them without expression or interest. But he rode them all. Even the little kid rides, the ones made for toddlers. They let him on, but not me, which I thought immensely unfair but not really of any importance. I lost track of him when I had to pick up the kids; I never saw him leave the front gate, though I waited for a while, watching, even though the girls were whining about wanting pizza.

I saw him next at a riverfront concert in Burlington. It was a warm night, and it had just started to pour down rain on the outdoor stage; the band was refusing to leave, despite their manager having a screaming fit on the side of the stage, certain someone was going to get electrocuted. The bass was pounding, guitars were screaming, and teenage girls were jumping up and down squealing as the lead singer leaned over to touch the hands of the crowd, and he was just standing there. Right behind me, arms folded, neutral expression on his face, and never saying a word. He stood there through the whole concert, never seeming to notice that he was soaking wet, and when it was over he'd disappeared again.
[hr]

What's bugging me is this is it; I cannot figure out who the frig this guy is! *grr* I was trying to break my writers' block, and I come up with an enigma...

 

Ok, this is a real quick summary that
i'm quickly writing down. Sorry if it doesn't make sense, but I'm about to go on a date.
-------------------------------

In the fifteenth century, there was a great war waged. It was between the Knights Templar(humans sworn to protect the church) and the Cult of Baphomet(humans who worship a devil-type demon). Using the super-human powers given to them by Baphomet, the Cult has all but wiped out the Knights. Driven into a church, the remaining five Knights pray to God for some help in fighting this evil. During the night, the Virgin Mary visits them and kisses their forehead. The five Knights(and their descendants)now have super-human powers. Eventually, they win the war and drive the Baphomets to the point of extinction.

Eleven Years Ago.
Of the five "super" Knights Templar, all that's left is James Strickland and his two young sons, Jeremy (four years old) and Justin (two). For some unknown reason (to be revealed in a shocking twist later) he goes evil, swear his allegiance to Baphomet. In one shocking night, the lives of his son's are turned upsode down. James kills his wife in front of Jeremy. James is then forced to retreat when his friend, Tyrone, arrives to chase him away. Before he leaves, he gives his son a parting gift, a knife to the shoulder , which scars the young boy permanently. Tyrone becomes the guardian of the two boys and the Vatican sends them around the world to fight evil forces.

Present Day
Tyrone, Jeremy and Justin are sent by the Vatican to a Catholic High School on Long Island. It seems that the Baphomets are back, and this time they're led by a familiar person.....

----------------------------------

Okay, its long, there's spelling mistakes, the grammar is horrible, but I didn't have much time. Hope you like it...

 

Yodave, would you like any grammar/spelling help?

 

Sure, KnightWriter, that would be great.

 

I consider myself a writer, though I do more in the way of movie scripts and nonfiction. Reading Stephen King's "On Writing" has provided a sufficient enough boost to get me writing some more.

"People love to read about work. God knows why, but they do. If you're a plumber who enjoys science fiction, you might as well consider a novel about a plumber aboard a starship or on an alien planet."

 

Well, since apparently links don't work very well, I'll just post my script (so far) right here.

---

[b]THE TALES OF DAICHI: A NEW ADVENTURE

By ?Terr Mys?[/b]

It is a time of great conflict among the Kingdoms of Daichi. After years of warfare between the tribes, a single leader, the suzerain Lord Cattivo, has united them into one empire. However, a rebellious group of freedom fighters has emerged under the leadership of an unknown warrior and is plotting to dethrone the lord and regain control of the kingdoms.
Lord Cattivo's daughter, Princess Crona, has recently disappeared from the Imperial fortress. Cattivo, convinced that the princess has been kidnapped by the rebels, has dispatched a group of his most skilled mercenaries to locate Princess Crona and destroy the rebel threat.

[u]EXT. SEACOAST ? DAWN[/u]

The rising sun emerges on the horizon beyond a vast stretch of sea. In the foreground we see a small figure hurrying across the top of a long ridge above the coast. The figure is dressed in simple peasant attire, carrying assorted sacks and bags filled with small tools and simple food items.

[u]EXT. BRIM VILLAGE ? OUTSKIRTS ? DAWN[/u]

As we see the figure more closely, it appears to be that of a girl of about 11 years. She removes her hood, revealing short, gold-colored hair with braids of untamed, auburn tufts. She visors her hazel eyes as she looks against the sun into the distance. We see a small village with Tudor houses and a busy marketplace at its center. Several battalions of men-at-arms dressed in silver armor plates and dark maroon clothing march in perfectly organized groups toward the marketplace. The girl hurries down a small incline and into the village.

[u]EXT. BRIM VILLAGE ? MORNING[/u]

The girl rushes through the crowded marketplace and heads to a small homestead on the other side of the village. She enters the building.

[u]INT. FANDIAN HOMESTEAD[/u]

The girl removes her outer layer of clothing and places some small fruits on a nearby table.

[b]WOMAN?S VOICE[/b]: (calling) Amanda! Amanda, you?re late!
[b]AMANDA[/b]: Sorry, mother! I was-

Amanda?s mother, Noa Fandian, appears.

[b]NOA FANDIAN[/b]: (finishing her sentence) -searching for the ripest fruits, I know, I know.
[b]AMANDA[/b]: Mother?

Her mother smiles.

[b]NOA FANDIAN[/b]: Oh, Amanda?

Amanda laughs.

[b]AMANDA[/b]: Here are the fruits, mother.

She opens the bag of fruits and empties them out on the table in front of her mother.

[b]AMANDA[/b]: I found some heardfruits, some maestberries, oh, and some grenefru-
[b]NOA FANDIAN[/b]: (interrupting) Oh, no ? those aren?t grenefruits, they?re attorberries. Very poisonous. You?ll have to be more careful next time.

Amanda?s mother takes the poisonous fruits and places them in a small pouch.

[b]AMANDA[/b]: Sorry, mother?it?s just that?
[b]NOA FANDIAN[/b]: What, dear?
[b]AMANDA[/b]: Well?I just don?t understand why we have to be so frugal with our own nourishment. We can?t live on these fruits forever?
[b]NOA FANDIAN[/b]: Amanda, don?t worry about that?as soon as the fighting stops?well, you may be old enough to go out on your own?and start a new family?with plenty of food. Someday.
[b]AMANDA[/b]: I don?t care about someday, mother?I care about today. Why is all of this happening?
[b]NOA FANDIAN[/b]: (sighing) It?s very difficult to explain, my child?Lord Cattivo has ordered that all families in Daichi ration their own food for several months now. He has sent his soldiers into our village to siege the marketplace.
[b]AMANDA[/b]: But how will we ever survive on just these fruits? We can?t just-
[b]NOA FANDIAN[/b]: (interrupting) I?m sorry Amanda, but there?s nothing we can do. Lord Cattivo depends on your father?if we were to disobey his Imperial decree, then your father would be punished?and we would be exiled to the mountains.
[b]AMANDA[/b]: (muttering) Sometimes I wish we were in the mountains?
[b]NOA FANDIAN[/b]: (grinning) Someday, Amanda?someday you?ll understand. There?s something special about you?I have a feeling

 

Yodave, how's this:

In the fifteenth century, a great war was waged between the Knights Templar (humans sworn to protect the Church) and the Cult of Baphomet (humans who worship a demon). Using powers given to them by Baphomet, the Cult has all but wiped out the Knights. Driven into a church, the remaining five Knights pray to God for help in fighting this evil. During the night, the Virgin Mary visits them and kisses their forehead. The five Knights (and their descendants) now have superhuman powers as well. Eventually, they win the war and drive the Baphomets to the point of extinction.

Eleven Years Ago.

Of the five "super" Knights Templar, all that is left is James Strickland and his two young sons, Jeremy (four years old and Justin (two years old). For unknown reasons he goes evil, swearing his allegiance to Baphomet. In one shocking night, the lives of his sons are turned upside down. James kills his wife in front of Jeremy. James is then forced to retreat when his friend Tyrone arrives to chase him away. Before he leaves, he gives his son a parting gift, a knife to the shoulder, which scars the young boy permanently. Tyrone becomes the guardian of the two boys and the Vatican sends them around the world to fight evil forces.

Present Day

The Vatican sends Tyrone, Jeremy and Justin to a Catholic High School on Long Island. It seems that the Baphomets are back, this time led by a familiar person...

 

Looks good to me, all nice and polished. Man I wrote that down in a hurry. I even mispelt Eleven as Elven in the original post.

Thanks, KnightWriter.

All that said what do you think of the story?

 

i like to write, although i have only completed two short stories. i guess, technically, you could say i have a work in progress, but it has not progressed in over a month. the basic story is that of a man who returns home from the bar one night, and everything is good in his life. i am debating with myself to either keep it as a short story, him finding out he's dead and in heaven. the other possibility is to stretch it into a novel. right now he is experience "heaven", soon everything will crash down and he will experience a little bit of "hell". he then will make a subconcious decision which will decide where he will spend the rest of eternity.

once i get through with that, i am planning to write a book that deals directly with why we are alive.
rough sketch begins with the mind of god, who has all of time and existence planned out already. essentially meaning everything is a script that we just play out. the character will be just an average joe whose "part" in the great play was forgotten halfway. I am going to either have him not exist anymore in the minds of those whose lives are written, or i am going to have him disrupt everyone's part, throwing god's whole plan of existence off the track.

either way, i do believe that is my best idea to date. and no, the short stories i finished had nothing to do with god or the afterlife.

*lights up a deathstick*

 

Nice to know people get acknowledged here. . . . .

Well I guess insted of posting a link, maybe people will read something if I post it.

It maybe a bit graphic, but not too bad. Its rated PG-13.

---

[b][u]~*~Marital Bliss~*~ [/b][/u]


"Marry me sweetheart."

"What?!" I said a bit violently.

"Marry me, we can blow this place."

"But Matt..." I started.

"Alicia, please say yes," Matt begged.

I sat there thinking of his question, when someone else popped into my head.

'Alicia, please say yes,' he had said.

'Dustin,' my mind thought, 'You left me a year ago, please let me live my life,' I thought, trying to forget him.

"Alicia?" Matt said bringing me back the present.

"Yes, Matt, I'll marry you," I said with a forced smile.

He slipped a diamond ring on my finger, and I could barely hide the fact that I thought the ring was beautiful.

"It's beautiful Matt," I said looking into his eyes.

"Just like you," he said as he kissed me softly.

I struggled with my thoughts, hoping I was doing the right thing. The struggle I would find out later was in vain.


# # #


The next three months were like hell for me. My mother and Matt planed the whole wedding, and left me to feel any emotion at all, appropriate or not. Resentment towards my mother for taking away the responsibility of planning my day. Lost in my life with everything happening around me, not including me. Everything, just happening.

I started feeling like I was settling for Matt because I never thought Dustin would come back. In those three months I didn't feel any of the good things at all. No happiness, no love, no emotion suitable for what was going to happen to me in a few months time.

I started feeling depressed. Then just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I started having nightmares. One night I woke myself up screaming because I had seen Dustin's dead mangled body in my dream. I saw my worst fear in my dream. After that I lost all the hope that I might have had left. I started staying up, trying to stay awake all night to escape the nightmares. I wouldn't sleep in my own bed, if I felt the need for sleep, I slept on my couch.

When I was awake, I would put on a mask, so no one could see what I was going through, or feeling. Because everyone was so happy, I stayed quiet about my feelings. One night after being out with Matt, I came home and cried. Cried about everything and anything. I would never let Matt sleep with me. I always made him go home. I was afraid of crying about everything after and I didn't want to talk to him about it. It wasn't very healthy for our relationship, but I did it none the less. I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream at everyone and anyone. But I held my mask on tight, and kept every thing inside.


Then one day after the bridal shower my friend Kellii threw for me, I came home and saw all the beautiful gifts. An over whelming feeling came over me as I stood there looking at all the china, and glass, and I picked up the nearest thing to me, and threw it at the wall. I watched it smash against the wall, and smiled a little. Not satisfied, I picked up a crystal glass one of my numerous great aunts had given me and threw it at the wall and watched the delicate glass shatter into a million little pieces, as if it were my life breaking, my heart, my soul. Still not satisfied, I looked for something bigger. I found a big crystal serving platter, and hurled it at the wall with all my strength. I watched it hit, and shatter. The million little pieces catching the light as they fell and I finally felt that I had lost everything inside myself. I dropped to my knees, and crawled over to the bigger pieces of glass. Not caring how much glass I crawled over, how deep it went into my hands and knees. I picked up a bigger piece of the glass and held it in the sunlight, watching my blood dance with the sun across the glass. I held it above my wrist in a trance, and s

 

Whoah, Shaden.....Dustin's the kind of guy I dream about. If you find a real guy like that...I hope he has a brother you'll introduce me to.

 

If you don't mind, I would really know what ya'll think about this story:
---------------------------------------------

The Stranger

What the hell happened to me? Where the hell am I? I lay there for a minute until my eyes focus. I sit up and look around. There beside me is a guy butt naked lying on his stomach. I look down at myself and realize I?m not wearing any clothes either. Oh, my God! I grab a pillow and carefully place it on the butt of the exposed beside me. Then I grab the sheets and twist them around my body. Where the hell are my clothes? Being very quite not to wake the chap in the bed, I tip toe to the closet, praying there are clothes in there. I open the door and find all kind of guy clothes. Seeing that he is a very petite guy, he?s clothes should fit me. I grab a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I quickly put them on. As I go to close the closet, I hear...

"What are you doing in my room, and why are you wearing my clothes?"

I slowly turn around and see the guy is sitting on the edge of the bed with the pillow below his belly. I think of something clever to say, "Umm?cleaning lady?"

"Oh!" He starts to get up off the bed and then stops. "Wait a minute. Then why are you wearing my clothes?"

"Umm?theses aren?t yours!"

"They?re not. They sure do look like mine."

I try to sound like I have an attitude, "Well, they?re not!"

"Okay, okay I believe you. Plus, I really don?t feel like arguing, my head hurts. The funny thing is I don?t even remember how I got to my room. The last thing I remember is drinking something somebody gave me and the rest is a blur."

"Well, it?s been nice talking to you. It?s time for me to go now." I walk towards the door, grab the knob and turn, but nothing happens. I look at the door and the knob to make sure it?s not locked. I don?t want to look more like an idiot. I try it again, but nothing happens. For some reason I can?t turn the knob.

The guy comes up behind me. "Is something wrong?"

I turn towards him and realize that he?s wearing clothes now. "I can?t get the door to open."

"Let me try." I move out of his way. He grabs the knob and tries to turn it, but it doesn?t do anything. "What in the world? Why won?t the door open?" I went and sat down on the bed. The guy gave up on the door and sat down beside me. "I don?t understand why the door won?t open. Oh, by the way my name is John."

"I?m Jenny." We shook hands.

"Wait a minute. If the door won?t open, how did you get in here?"

"To tell you the truth I don?t remember."

"So, I take it your not the cleaning lady."

"No, I?m not. And theses are your clothes."

"That?s alright. I don?t mind. Well, since we?re stuck in here, how about we make the most out of it."

"What do you suggest?"

"You hungry?"

"Starving."

So, we both got off the bed and headed towards the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator, "What the hell?"

"What?s wrong?"

"This isn?t my food!"

"What do you mean?" I looked into the refrigerator and saw fruit, veggies, and all kinds of juices.

"What happened to my beer, meat, and sodas?"

"Isn?t this your room?"
"It looks like my room. Everything else is the same, but this!"

"Are you sure?"

"Let me go check." He goes and runs around the place. When he?s done he comes back to me. "The bathroom is different, too. And the windows are different."

"What do you mean?"

"Come with me." We go to one of the windows. He pulls up the blinds.

"Oh, my God! I can?t believe it. It?s bricked up. Why?"

"I don?t know."
---------------------------------------------

Else where, there are a man and a woman looking at a Television screen. Another man walks up to them, "How are our subjects doing?"

The woman says, "They woke up a few minutes ago and have now realized that they?re not were they thought they were."

The other guy says, "They probably never thought that they were going to participate in an experiment." All three of t

 

Just let me suggest again to put writing in blockquotes markup code to make it easier to read .

 

Jeez, I'm surprised nobody has bothered to comment on my script! It's pretty hard to miss! Well...if anyone is interested, here's the follow-up to that first segment:

---

[u]EXT. FOREST TRAIL ? NIGHT[/u]

As Amanda and Taylor walk down the forest trail, we see one of Lord Cattivo?s scouts secretly hiding behind a large tree. He watches the two travelers for a while, then gets on his horse hidden in the forest and rides on to the trail. Amanda and Taylor notice him.

[b]AMANDA[/b]: Hey! You!

The scout continues to gallop on, ignoring Amanda?s shouts.

[b]TAYLOR[/b]: Quiet! I sense something dark about him?he may be dangerous?
[b]AMANDA[/b]: What are you talking about? He could help me find my father!
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: Your father?
[b]AMANDA[/b]: Eh?I?ll explain later.

Amanda turns to look for the scout, but he is much too far away by now.

[b]AMANDA[/b]: Aargh?now I?ll never know where he is?
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: Search your mind. Your thoughts will guide us.

Amanda pauses for a moment, then replies.

[b]AMANDA[/b]: Never mind about that?I?m tired. Let?s find somewhere to camp until morning.
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: I know of a clearing just east of here. It will take us off the path, but it will bring us to the mountainside.
[b]AMANDA[/b]: Well?what are we waiting for then?

Amanda and Taylor march off.

[u]EXT. MEADOW CAMP ? NIGHT[/u]

Amanda and Taylor sit on opposite sides of a campfire. Two makeshift tents are behind them.

[b]TAYLOR[/b]: You spoke of your father?what has become of him?

Amanda sniffles for a moment, then clears her eyes.

[b]AMANDA[/b]: Well?he?I?m afraid that he?s?
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: What?
[b]AMANDA[/b]: He?s dead.

The expression visible on Taylor?s lower face becomes pale, yet he tries to hide his change in expression.

[b]TAYLOR[/b]: I-I?m sorry.
[b]AMANDA[/b]: It?s okay. I-I didn?t actually see my father die?I?I just know it?I felt it?
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: Just as I thought.
[b]AMANDA[/b]: What?
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: It appears that you, much like myself and my ancestors before me, have been blessed with supernatural powers.

Amanda stares in disbelief for a moment.

[b]AMANDA[/b]: Eh-that?s just ridiculous?I don?t have any supernatural powers?
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: But you do. Tell me, Amanda?look into my eyes?tell me what you see?

Taylor lifts his hood a bit, just enough to reveal two dark eyes.

[b]AMANDA[/b]: I-I?

Amanda is suddenly shocked by images of Taylor?s past. She sees him as a baby, in the arms of his mother. She is being chased by highwaymen. She runs to the river, and hesitates to find a route of escape. But the highwaymen come riding to her, and the leader releases a swift strike. Taylor?s mother falls on the ground, and Taylor is sent into the river. He begins to float down it. Amanda then sees him lifted out of the river by an elderly holy guardian. She sees Taylor as he grows older in the forest, and then finally she sees the elderly holy guardian dying, with young Taylor at his side.

[b]AMANDA[/b]: I?
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: My past?you have seen it, haven?t you?
[b]AMANDA[/b]: Yes?
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: It appears that you have been blessed with a power of the mind.
[b]AMANDA[/b]: W-what does that mean?
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: There are many powers that one can be blessed with. We?re all different.
[b]AMANDA[/b]: So, you mean?you, disappearing at the riverbank?you were using your powers?
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: Indeed.
[b]AMANDA[/b]: That?s incredible?
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: It may be, Amanda, but my powers have limitations just as yours do. I can not peer into one?s mind as you can?and you will learn to do more with your powers, I think.
[b]AMANDA[/b]: But?w-who will teach me?
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: (sighing) I don?t know?

There is silence for a moment, then Amanda suddenly breaks it.

[b]AMANDA[/b]: Can you see him?
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: What?
[b]AMANDA[/b]: My father. Can?can you use your powers?to see?if he?s dead? For sure, I mean?
[b]TAYLOR[/b]: Amanda, I do not know if my powers are yet at that-
[b]AMANDA[/b]: (interrupting) Please. I-I must know?

Taylor sighs, th

 

Terr: I liked it. Very interesting, and I'm really wondering what will happen next.

I'm working on a new fanfic and an essay entitled "Valentine's Plague" right now. The essay is basically my take on the whole practice of giving cards/gifts on Feb. 14. I'll post it when I'm done.

 

What are your opinions on language? I have a story that received critical praise this past year at school, but being set in the 1830s on a plantation, some of the lanaguage is a bit...rough. I don't censor my work, even on here (if you're lucky enough to find my old "A Common Crime" thread in fanfic, you'll see four letter words I should be banned for, but no mod ever edited when it was first written ), and I want to make sure you folks can handle it.

 

LianaMara: Thanks I'll be sure to post the next segment soon!

LordBane: That's a very interesting topic. I think that literature always allows for a certain degree of language that may go beyond the accepted standards of polite conversation, but in my opinion, as long as the word or words in question are not directed toward any one real person or race in the hopes of expressing hatred toward them, then they are acceptable. Historical fictions should attempt to portray the time period of the story as best as possible, and that often requires the author to use language common during that era. Now this is fine, but sometimes the use of offensive words in the narration (as opposed to the dialogue) may make it seem as if the word or words are directed toward a specific race or the likes.