The Wrong Reason (New JA Story) AUTHOR'S NOTES (1/31)

while i'm at it...uppers for this one.

 

oh sith!!


Sorry I haven't read for a while. Funny. You go on vacation for a week and when you come back, your boss expects you to work. I just don't get it!

 

Oh dear, talk about rubbing salt in the wounds of self flagellation. Poor Wes, I suspect he was already starting to feel he had made a mistake, but this is really going to bring him low. I hope Lewix eases up a bit.

 

Sooo...last left off, Obi-Wan was snoring away, Qui-Gon was amused, Neela's stowed away, and Wes was getting verbal abuse from Lewix, you should really post your post soon, Joon!

I'm doing my co-author priviledge thing and cracking the all mighty whip here.

Post soon Joon!

 

yes, i realize i've fallen behind. exam time is here and i've got papers to write. i was going to put up this other post but it's not w/obi-wan and i've been promising one w/him for so long that i felt bad. i'll try and write one w/him soon.

 

Hey, don't worry, I like Wes and them too. Good luck on exams!

 

Right, here's a post. It's a plot pusher of sorts. Lots of...uh...descriptional paragraphs. Very little....uh..dialogue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun floated high above Goliathan as Obi-Wan followed behind Qui-Gon to be greeted by members of the Goliathan government. Identically dressed men of roughly equal height stood before them as the Jedi entered the impressively high federal buildings. From the group of eerily similar men, one stepped forward.

?Master Jinn, you honor us with your presence,? he greeted.

?Senator Dinary,? returned Qui-Gon, bowing slightly in a gracious gesture.

?The Goliathan Government extends their deepest apologies for troubling the Jedi further. We are mortified that such an event would have occurred under our jurisdiction,? continued the stocky senator, obviously referring to Damaeo Niveh.

?That is a secondary matter, Senator. First and foremost, we are here to insure that your prisoner exchange is completed with no further delay,? answered the tall Jedi.

Dinary nodded, his dark hair not even fluttering under the movement as it remained tightly pressed against his scalp. ?As you must know, this exchange of prisoners is something I have some...personal values in,? he said, quietly as the group began to walk towards a more private conference room.

Obi-Wan regarded the Senator carefully as Qui-Gon nodded in affirmative to the other man?s question. The padawan, despite having all but passed out on the transport ride to Goliathan had woken up long enough to continue reading the reports that had been filed regarding the prisoner exchange to take place. Obi-Wan had been surprised to learn that prisoner the Civil Armies had in their hands was none other than the daughter of Senator Dinary. This would no doubt give the Senator some greater objective towards making sure this exchange would go without any hitch.

To their credit, the Goliathan Government had in their hands General Talib, second hand to the often spoken about Ken Nerr, the founder and leader of the Civil Armies. No one from the Goliathan Government had ever seen Ken Nerr's face as it was customary of the Civil Armies to keep their leader's face a secret to minimize assassination attempts. Not that the Goliathan Government hadn't tried. So far, three decoys had died in their loyalty to Ken Nerr.

Normally, the Government adopted a stubborn strong hold in dealing with the Civil Armies. They had considered it a triumph when General Talib had been captured and had been prepared to use it to their advantage. And then Ismala Dinary had been captured by the Civil Armies and everything changed.

Obi-Wan had read in the report that Ismala's entire protection service unit had been dismantled during the young woman's trip to an infirmary as it was her custom to often volunteer her time there like any good public figure. The leaders amongst the Goliathan Government had no doubt that Ismala had been captured to specifically be used as a heavy bargaining chip so that Talib would be returned. And this time, the Government did not remain stubborn.

Obi-Wan felt an odd pressure behind his eyes as he narrowed his vision of Senator Dinary. The Force wasn?t not opposed to warning those sensitive to it from time to time. And at the moment, the teenager felt its light fingers tickle his mind as if to tell him to pay greater attention. He flickered his eyes for a moment towards Qui-Gon who was continuing to speak to the Senator in reserved, polite tones as he usually did with several other governmental figures since before Dinary.

Obi-Wan made a mental note to tell his Master he had a bad feeling about something.

++++++++++++++++

In a rare gesture of complete unselfishness, Wes' Maggie nudged a piece of fruit she had been nibbling at into her owner's hand. The dot black eyes looked confused if albeit a bit sympathetic that for some reason, Wes looked incredibly sad.

Staring down at the half-nibbled food, Wes smiled imperceptively and held it back out to her. "Thanks anyway, Maggie," he said.

The white ball of fur twitt

 

"You better come back alive and well for me to kill you," Poor Wes.

That was great!

 

Ah, you finally got it out there, Joon!
Well, rest easy now b/c it's now my turn. ACK! But I'll be working on it.

 

Excellent post! I liked the inclusion of the famous "bad feeling" in the Obi-Wan part. I also liked Maggie's concern for Wes, as she had never seen him sit so quiet and still for so long. And I loved the part where Lewix only judged on what he saw, and he saw that the Council wasn't very good at handling this matter. The best part, though, was how you described that Damaeo had wanted to be his friend, even though he clearly saw all of Lewix's faults, and continued to be his friend even when he'd tried to live in solitude after that incident with his master. Great original characters here! I'm enjoying them more than the canon ones.

 

More!

x Clare x

 

Thanks for the feedback guys!
Yeah, as HAL said, she'll be working on the next post. I, for one, have actually written the LAST post to this tale. I just need ot flesh out the middle ones now...

anyways, more later.

 

good posts. Loved the bad feeling line and wes's come back well line.

 

Okay, mine, finally. HA, Joon, lots of descriptionals, little dialogue? Try ALL descriptionals, NO dialogue!
************

Neela waited in the dark for a few more minutes of silence before kicking open the extra storage closet she had spent the last three hours in. Quietly stepping out, Neela saw from a window a clean up crew approaching the transport. Pulling her satchel close to her chest, Neela shielded herself tightly as she crept out of the still open transport door.

She moved soundlessly past the cleaning crew who spoke loudly to one another, banging around their equipment. With the help of the Force, Neela moved past them without even being noticed.

It took the dark-haired padawan several minutes before she found herself in the busy streets of Goliathan City. To her relief, few people looked twice at her. Despite her slightly paler complexion than the normally tanned natives, her new short hair and size made her blend in well with the general crowds.

I need to get to the Smudge District

The Smudge District was a nickname for the lower half of the main city. As its name suggested, the area was mainly made up of the dirt poor. But it was also the area where the Civil Armies did most of their business. Some suggested that the founder of the Civil Armies, Ken Nerr, had even originated from the Smudge District.

Neela quickly hailed a public taxi. Climbing in, she gave the driver a street corner that was halfway to the Smudge District. She would walk the rest of the way. The driver barely looked at her and only grunted with satisfaction as her credits chip dutifully paid him before he began the car's engine again.

Inside the taxi, Neela took out a small folder that held a pile of flimies. They were the only and most important possessions Neela had at the moment: Master Damaeo's last notes and reports to the Council detailing the mission. Damaeo's last personal notes had been given to her as she was the closest thing to a relative he had. She had read it several times over a few nights before.

The task had been difficult for her. At first, she had nearly cried again at the very sight of her Master's last words so casually recorded in his familiar handwriting. They were the last thoughts of his that she would ever know. Like his previous three missions, the redheaded Master's notes had begun neatly and methodically.

"Prisoner Exchange Date: Two weeks
Preliminary Errands: Time, Location Safety, Protection

The Goliathan Government seems fairly confident the exchange will go off as planned. Just a matter of checking over safety measures."

That had been the first entry into his personal notes. The following few afterwards had held the same tone of casualness and neatness. But as the days followed, the notes became more and more scattered.

"Checked activities of Ismala before kidnapping. Things don't coincide. Her kidnapping was not proper. Look up Ken Nerr."

And a few days after that one...

"Checked hospital staff again where Ismala should have worked. Check more back logs tomorrow. Cross with Nuvan Kol."

"Speak with Senator Dinary again. Cross check all information on Nuvan Kol."

"Goliathan Government or Civil Armies?"

Several days had gone by before the last entry in his notes were made in a hasty and hurried scrawl:

"Brenin Bell, Smudge District, Gorn Tavern."

He would be the first Neela would try to locate.

 

Great post!

 

Up!

 

Oh, ho! More of the mystery is being revealed! Ismala's kidnapping was not proper? She didn't work at the hospital? The trail leads to Smudgetown? Go, Neela, go!

 

Hmmmmmm.....

 

Thanks for postin' HAL!
I guess that means its my turn again. Right. Okay, well, yes....something will be up soon. I'm working on it!

 

Don't want to rush you...

Yes, I do!
Please post soon!

*looks for more patience*


~Amidelta~

 

Yes, the next post is in the works. Will update soon.

 

Looking good. Can't wait for more.

~Swede

 

Here's the next one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Smudge District lived up to its name and then some. Having gotten out of the taxi on the very edges of the district, Neela began to walk the rest of the way. The entire area, its look, even its smell was completely different from the upper district she had come from. Puddles of dank, stagnant grey liquids lay in various masses on the stone streets. The air was thick with an unnamed pollution and dirt that practically hit the young padawan as she walked along the moist streets.

Various buildings, the walls covered in graffiti and stains flanked her on all sides. In short, the Smudge District was disgusting. But the sight of the people were the true difference.

Neela had noticed from her first arrival the homogenous look of the Goliathan inhabitants. All the men were of fairly equal height with healthy tans and neatly trimmed hair, sporting dark colors, nearly uniform-like. The women were the same. But the residents of the Smudge District stood out.

While their clothes were of fading colors, they were colors nonetheless. The streets were populated with people of varying heights, varying complexion and hair lengths. Even their manner of walking and holding themselves were much looser and more bustling than the residents of the upper district. Several people pushed past Neela, not taking much notice of her and hurrying to their own respective destinations. It was an easy place to get lost and to lose yourself in. And Neela was glad for it. People here would look at her and forget immediately.

There were a few street vendors off to the side, run by various, bored looking proprietors. Walking up to one, Neela cleared throat. "Excuse me? Can you tell me where I can find Gorn Tavern?" she asked, politely.

The elderly man who stood behind the vendor eyed her with a hard look. "I sell Bago nuts. Not maps. Buy something or leave," he stated.

"I just need to find-"

"Buy something or talk to someone else," cut in the man.

Holding back a sigh, Neela dug out a few credits. "A bag of Bagos, please," she requested.

Taking the offered credits, the man handed over a steaming bag of the maroon colored nuts. Taking on in hand, Neela chewed on it. "It's good," she commented, not lying.

"I make the best," replied the seller, gruffly.

Swallowing a few more, Neela looked at him. "Gorn Tavern?"

"Three blocks down, four blocks to your left. It's got a green sign. Can't miss it," directed the seller. His crinkled eyes stared at the padawan as she nodded and chewed on a few more Bagos. "Not really a place for a girl like you," he added.

"Oh? And what kind of girl am I?" asked Neela, shortly.

"One who doesn't frequent a place like Gorn Tavern."

"What's wrong with Gorn Tavern?" pressed Neela, eating the last of the nuts and crumpling the bag in her hands.

The seller grunted. "Full of rowdy yankers. Love to get drunk and complain about work union this and economy that. Doubt anyone of them's seen a day of good hard work," he grumbled. The weary eyes looked back at Neela. "Gorn Tavern is not a place for a young girl like you," he repeated.

"I'm meeting someone there," said Neela.

"Not anyone respectable, I'm sure. Not even for this place. Only lazy bums go to Gorn," came the disgruntled words.

Neela stared at the elderly man with her steel eyes. "You're mistaken. I did not ask about Gorn Tavern," she said, purposefully.

"You did not ask about Gorn Tavern," the man repeated back, looking slightly confused. After a few moments of a blank look, the cold stare came back in the crinkled eyes. "Buy something or leave," he said, restarting his usual sales pitch.

Neela shook her head and moved off to go down the direction the man had pointed out to her. It took her only a few minutes to hurry down the streets where it only seemed to get strangely darker and more secluded. But sure enough, at the fourth block, she saw a faded green sign that cleary said, "Gorn Tavern." The windows were dark, though the padawan could see shapes moving about inside. P

 

Can't she just keep out of it? I wonder what Yoda's going to do to her once she gets back o the Temple? Good post!

 

Probably whack her with his gimer stick...

Nice post!

x Clare x