The Wrong Reason (New JA Story) AUTHOR'S NOTES (1/31)

Ah, she found him! Good! I liked the way she slipped into the bar and used the Force to keep from being noticed. And now she has some more clues.

Looking forward to more!

 

Yay! First post with Bell!
Nice details Joon!

 

I like the Jedi mind trick as well.


Be careful Girl!!!

 

Well, man, oh man!
Are finals killing anyone else or what? I think Lina, my poor cohort is about to chew through her own books she's so nervous and stressed out.

I, for one, am living in a nice bed of denial and "if I close my eyes, it doesn't exist!" mentality.

Since Lina is about to lose her mind, (and we can't have that b/c I need that mind to siphon more good ideas and character development) I was wondering if anyone else would be kind enough to give me feedback on a little, itty plot point which will really be relevant many posts later down the line in the lives of Lewix, Neela, and Wes and even Damaeo (yes, that's right, the dead guy).

I'm asking now b/c I need to write this post which will embed the seed of this developing plot point and just wanted to get someone's idea about what they thought. If you're that generous person, please PM me and I'll do a "first PM person, first answer" type thing. I know Lina did this once w/her stories and said it really helped her out.

And I already tried using Lina as my feedback board to bounce ideas off of but she looked like she was gonna bounce a shoe off my head if I even dared to approach her with questions about this story at this rather stressful time.

Thank you!
--Joon (overcaffeinated and overdrawn in the brain department)

 

Whaddya mean I'm stressed?! I'm not STRESSED!! What makes you think I'm bloody STRESSED??!!!!

Okay....breath...calm. Right. Lots of papers. Okay.

AAAnyway, hey, Joon, since I'm going to be down for the count, do you want to maybe do another single post snapshot thread? I offer these possibilities:

1) The Exploding Tapioca Incident

or

2) The Flooding of the Temple Wing

 

Up! Post soon, Joon!

 

So, another post by me. I'm sorry but I'm completely CRUD at writing Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. Canon characters, you are all the bane of my writing existence!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Master?" asked Obi-Wan, curiously. "Is there a reason why the Goliathan Government didn't investigate further on how the Senator's daughter was kidnapped?"

Looking up from his short unpacking, Qui-Gon nodded in an approving matter at his student. "There was a short investigation but the circumstances were very straightforward. Ismala Dinary had been kidnapped within the infirmary wings she often volunteered at. Her schedule was very punctual, the people of the Civil Armies must have known it well."

Obi-Wan bit his lip, his brow furrowed as he contemplated what to say next. He tried to shape his comment in the most diplomatic manner possible. "Master, I feel like something is off about the Senator."

"Off, padawan?"

"He seems so...cold about this exchange. I would think he'd be more adament about getting his daughter back." He looked at the taller figure of his Master to see how he would react to his words. They felt a bit presumptious even to his mind. After all, people dealt with grief and worry in different ways. But something still nagged at the back of Obi-Wan's mind.

For his part, Qui-Gon did not dismiss his student's worries so quickly. "His manner is odd, I grant you," he stated. "But his actions are towards retrieving his daughter safely."

"I suppose."

"We are here to help him, Obi-Wan. I agree with you that there is something lacking in zeal perhaps but the Senator is giving up a very important prisoner to insure Ismala's safe return."

Obi-Wan nodded. That was true. But something...something felt off about the whole thing. Something he felt was missing.

++++++++++++

Lewix was about two minutes away from contacting Rina Vayda. But he quickly dismissed the idea each time it presented itself in his mind. He would be asking a favor of Rina. Which would mean he would be in her debt. And he would hate to be in anyone's debt, especially that of the female bounty hunter.

For the moment, he also had something else to worry his mind: Neela's fate once she was returned to the Temple.

As a child, Lewix knew there were several things a padawan learner could get away with doing. The rules of the Temple were strict. Too strict not to have them be broken every once in awhile. He and Damaeo probably had broken more than obeyed several of those rules in their childhood. But there was one rule that was never to be crossed. And that was purposefully getting involved in an unassigned mission.

The Council, for all their pomp, took that rule as the most serious of all that had to be obeyed. No one who broke that rule ever went unpunished. And coupling that disobedience with the fact that Neela had attempted to take her own life let Lewix see very clearly that the Council would lean heavily towards throwing Neela out.

Sitting down heavily in his seat after having paced his room multiple times, Lewix stared darkly in front of him. This was an utter mess. There were so many factors up in the air at this point regarding Damaeo?s padawan that it sent Lewix into a deeper and deeper concern. Her mental health would still have to be evaluated which Lewix was sure was not being helped by her disappearance to Goliathan. And if by some grace of a higher power Neela was returned safely to the Temple and allowed to stay, she would have to be assigned a new Master.

Lewix doubted that the Council would be able to find her a master better than Damaeo. Or at least one suitable enough that Neela would form a close attachment to. He had easily sensed during his sessions with her that the padawan had shared a very close bond to his friend. The kind that was near impossible to replicate with another person. Lewix knew whoever was to be Neela?s next master would always live in the shadow of Damaeo.

Giving himself a slight shake, Lewix stood up and forced himself to think. The Council would not allow him to involve himself in trying

 

Well, Lewix, you're either going to have to contact Rina or go out there and get Neela yourself, so what's it going to be? I don't think Neela would come back voluntarily, though, no matter who goes after her. *sees Rina dumping a hogtied Neela at Lewix's feet*

The Senator is acting too cold about his daughter's disappearance? Maybe he's the one who had her kidnapped in the first place and is trying to frame somebody else for it!

 

Well, at lest the guy's stopped picking on little kids. I loved the way you wrote Obi-Wan, wonderful job!

 

Cool post!

More soon please!!!

 

Thanks Jane, Lonewolf and Kenobisgirl!

I'll try and have something new up here soon.

 

HEY!!! I just got caught up anyway

GREAT POST more soon please

 

Here's the next one! It's a bit short.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brenin Bell was fast. Being accustomed to almost every jutted rock in the road's pavement as well as the mottled holes, his feet easily danced around them. For her part, Neela relied mostly on her natural senses and the little grace she was bestowed to keep up with him without making too much noise.

One thing that was to her advantage was her obvious grasp of the Force. Drawing it around herself, Neela managed to shield her presence well as she followed closely behind Bell, afraid to lose him in the winding streets.

Sith! He moves fast! It doesn't help he practically can disappear into shadows either.

Brenin's blade thin figure easily went in and out of the tall dark patches thrown on the roads by various buildings. In the darkening light, it sometimes allowed him to disappear in spots. And while Neela used the Force to track him every now and again, it was starting to tire her. She couldn't keep up her tracking and shield at the same time for too long.

Pouring her reserves into shielding, Neela quickened her pace to move closer to Brenin, close enough so that if she reached out, she could almost touch him with her hand. The taller man, for his part, moved on, not noticing. His feet continue to manuver gracefully over the uneven roads, finding the sparse, relatively flat groups of stones. The air thickened with the gradual atmosphere of poor circulation as Brenin unknowingly led Neela deeper and deeper into the dark streets of the Smudge District.

Neela worked hard to muffle her footsteps and convince Brenin's mind that he was alone as he made his way. And then it happened. Her foot snagged on a wayward cobblestone, sticking up. There was no time for her to right her balance and the young girl felt herself pitching forward.

She expected in an instant for hard stones to smash into her arms that she threw out in front of her in attempts to break her fall. But instead, they met with a warm soft material that exclaimed in surprise at the touch. Falling forward, Neela landed heavily on Brenin Bell whom she had accidentally knocked over.

While his body broke her fall, it still sent a startling jolt through her body which distracted her long enough as Bell frantically moved to get away from whoever was pinning him down. Expertly, he knocked her off of him and attempted to slam her down on the ground to try and deal with the attack.

But instead, Neela brought her knee up swiftly to his chest that struck all the air out of his lungs. The padawan pushed Bell off of her with all her might as he coughed violently at the attack. Scrambling to regain her balance, Neela tried to run but found it a great deal more difficult on the uneven roads and the dizzying pain in her head. It was only a few seconds before rough hands grabbed her from behind and spun her around.

Neela reeled back to strike out at Bell again in self-defense when she looked at his face and stopped. Bell stared at her with wide blue eyes that seemed to be the only thing she could cleary see now in the darkness of the road. They were laced with a startled recognition.

"Oh, merry hell," he whispered, looking at her. "Oh, bloody merry hell. You're his student."

 

OOOH! Excellent! Loved the way Neela was tiring from shielding and tracking at the same time, and the way she got so close to him that she couldn't help but stumble into him. And now Bell knows who she is? How? Why? More!

 

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What's up?

 

uh oh!

 

How does he know her?!!!


~Amidelta~

 

Hee, hee.
Thanks for the feedback guys. The next post or the one after should explain why it is Brenin recognizes our wayward padawan.

And then.....

sigh...

I have the unlucky duty of trying to write Obi-Wan and Qui again! Canon characters, bane of my existence, you've heard it all before, blah, blah, blah....

 

Oh, merry hell.

I love the British accent. Sounds good.

I understand about writing Canon people, I just try to get as close as I can. You're doing really good, I think.

~Swede

 

Ahh...the plot thickens!
Can't wait to see how Neela and Brenin interact now!

 

Here's the next bit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neela felt Brenin?s arms pull at her and away from the coldness of the stone walls of the alley that he had all but slammed her against. The shock of him recognizing her put a temporary paralysis on her but as soon as it wore off, she began to put up a defense.

?Quit moving about!? ordered Brenin as Neela?s struggles began to get effective. ?I?m not goin? to hurt you!? Using a small burst of the Force, the padawan managed to push Brenin away more powerfully. Stumbling back from the unexpected form of attack, he narrowly missed falling on the ground. ?Yeah, you?re his student all right,? he murmured with almost a humorous lilt to his voice.

?How do you know me?? demanded Neela.

Brenin righted himself on the hard cobblestones and looked at the smaller girl. His glittering blue eyes had a strange expression in them as he took in her features. ?Coz your Jedi Master told me about you,? he answered, somberly. ?I didn?t really recognize you at first. If I had I wouldna thrown you like that. You okay?? he asked.

The sudden concern from this stranger confused everything in Neela?s mind. If anything, she was suspecting that this Brenin Bell had been the murderer of Master Damaeo or at least been involved. Then again, she told herself. Him being nice to me now has nothing to do with how he might treat me later. It proves nothing.

?How did you and my Master know each other?? asked Neela in a quiet voice. The thick air of the dank alleys ate up her voice from echoing any farther past Brenin?s ears.

?You?re lookin? fer his killer, then?? he spoke, giving a knowing nod.

There was no point in lying. If Brenin ran now then it would prove his guilt of accessory in the least and Neela would track him down again, even if it took her days to do so. She nodded. Her gray eyes remained steely while she reminded herself that in one move, her lightsaber could be against this man?s throat.

But Brenin made no move to run. Instead, he nodded with an expression that could have been labeled as sympathetic. After the gesture, however, he looked about himself with slight anxiety. ?Look, I?m not tryin? to lose you or anything. But you caught me at a bad time. I have a meetin? I need to get to,? he said.

?I?m coming with you.?

?Oh no.? Brenin shook his head. ?These are not the type of people who?ll take kindly to strangers.?

?I can take care of myself,? Neela argued.

?I?m sure you can. It?s not you I?m worried about,? replied Brenin. ?If they find me bringing back a stranger or if they find out I?m consorting with another outsider, I?ll be dead this time for sure.?

?Another outsider?? Neela asked, catching his words. ?Was Master Damaeo the first outsider then that you ?consorted? with??

Neela thought she saw Brenin nearly smile. ?You?re a quick one. As he said.?

?I?m not here to talk to you about the memories of Master Damaeo,? Neela said, fighting down frustration that mingled with a bitter sadness that rose from finding out her Master had said such a complimentary statement about her. She would never get a chance now to thank him or to prove to him that his faith in her was true. ?I?m here to find out who murdered him.?

?And you will, Neela,? replied Brenin.

Well, I guess there?s no need for introduction, thought Neela, wryly.

?I?m not going to let you out of my sight. I?ll waste time in trying to find you again,? stated the girl.

?I?m not gonna run off!?

?I don?t believe you,? answered the padawan.

Letting out a frustrated puff of air, Brenin raked his fingers through his clumps of hair. ?Look, I can help you. I?ve got some information that can help you, I think. But unless I get to this meeting on time, I?m a dead man and then you?ll have nothing.?

?If you escape me, I?ll also have nothing,? replied Neela, stubbornly.

The taller man looked anxiously exasperated at wasting so much time. But a small light came to his eyes as an idea popped in. Fishing into the folds of his coat, he brought out a flat rectangl

 

I like Brenin, but I wonder what he's involved in, and just who is the tart and who the poor girl?

 

Yep, I like him too. Great post!!

 

I thought the scene with the cigarette case was very well done, especially the part where Neela sensed that Brenin obviously didn't like her touching it and didn't want to part with it, even though it was where he could see it. Yes, he'll definitely come back to get that. I like the way she's getting closer to finding out who killed her master, and the way that Brenin can help her, but she has to trust him, and not try to do everything herself.

So, Ken Narr is definitely involved? Brenin's last thought made me think that it would not be optimal for the girl to be returned to her father. Hmm.

Great writing! I'm looking forward to more!