Before There is No Death - Qui-Gon, Dooku viggie

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Mar 16, 2005.

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  1. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Title: There is No Death
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Dooku, OC
    Timeframe: Pre-JA
    Summary: Qui-Gon sees death up close for the first time.
    Notes: Originally written for the Qui-Gon challenge thread. I posted it almost six months ago, so figured it was safe to post on its own. Dooku changed on me while I was writing it. He's a slippery devil!



    There is No Death

    Blaster fire erupted from the trees above them. All around them they heard the soldiers yelling as they aimed at the Jedi. He could see his fellow Padawan, Tonhj, darting to the left for a copse of trees that would hopefully provide some shelter.

    He heard Master Dooku muttering under his breath as he considered the number of enemies facing them. His Master gave him a signal and he began to make his way to the trees, where Tonhj was waiting for them. He heard his Master running behind him, drawing as much fire to himself as possible.

    Always, the Master would protect the Padawan if it was possible to do so.

    This mission had gone badly from the moment they had stepped foot on the planet. He knew Master Dooku was angry. He could feel his attempts to control his anger, to channel his emotions into thinking of ways to get them out of this mess.

    Overhead, he heard the roar of the huge, hairy tanglor beasts as their enemies? foes began to draw near. It was enough of a diversion to draw their attention away from the Jedi, who were now gasping for breath among the trees.

    Soon he heard the soldiers retreat, chasing after their first targets, the Koi tribesman.

    It was supposed to have been a fairly simple mission. They were to have negotiated a treaty between two warring tribes, the Koi and the Redm. What they had not expected is that the Redm tribe would find the idea of the Jedi offensive to their unusual and somewhat fanatical religion beliefs.

    The three Jedi had ended up running for their lives.

    The arrival of the Koi had given them a brief reprieve. But they still had to find a way to get to their ship and inform the Council that this particular negotiation would require the expertise of someone other than the Jedi.

    Qui-Gon was shocked that they were targets because of someone?s religion. He was appalled at how cheaply the Redm seemed to hold any life that did not fall within their rather narrow guidelines of acceptability. He knew that his own reverence for all lifeforms was considered somewhat extreme, even among the Jedi. But this was an offense against all but the most hardened heart.

    Tonhj was sitting on a small rock, his face pale and sweaty as he tried to recover from his run across the rocky plain. He had come alone, without his Master, for this mission. His Master had gotten very ill just before the two teams were due to leave. The Council had decided to send young Tonhj along with Master Dooku and his Padawan, Qui-Gon.

    Qui-Gon approached Tonhj, who was quiet and reserved, but friendly. Tonhj met his eyes and then coughed. To Qui-Gon?s horror, bright red blood came spraying up out of the boy?s mouth. He held his hands out toward Tonhj, calling for his Master at the same time.

    Tonhj slipped off the rock into Qui-Gon?s arms. His body felt cool and heavy as the young Padawan clutched him closely. Master Dooku came rushing up and reached out to take the burden away from his apprentice.

    Qui-Gon shook his head and grasped young Tonhj more closely to him. ?I will hold him, Master.?

    Master Dooku nodded and set about examining the boy with a silent and rapid thoroughness. He did not say anything as his eyes met Qui-Gon?s, but the boy saw the horrible truth in his Master?s gaze.

    Dooku brushed back Tonhj?s black hair and leaned down. ?You?ll be fine, Padawan, and with a fine scar if you want to keep it.? Master Dooku?s elegant voice was soothing and gentle as he murmured to the mortally wounded young man.

    Qui-Gon shot a glance at his Master, his eyes questioning. His Master met his gaze squarely and Qui-Gon felt his answer through their bond.

    I can do nothing for h
  2. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Awwwwwwwww Kimberley loved this just as much the second time -- and I still think it begs for a continuation piece... excellent work!
  3. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Yes it is great! Qui-Gon pulled his hands away and angrily wiped away the tears from his cheeks. ?It?s wrong to just leave him for them. They hate the Jedi; Force knows what they will do to his body!?

    Dooku looked down at the dead boy crumpled at his Padawan?s feet. He motioned Qui-Gon aside and then leaned over the boy. He put his arms under the boy?s shoulders and knees and came unsteadily to his feet.

    ?You?re right, we must not let them dishonor Tonhj?s sacrifice. I must not let my fear for you interfere with what is right. But I will carry young Tonhj,? Master Dooku said.


    Awww [face_love] he was concern for Qui :D But letting that interfere with what was at hand... true. Even though the youth's Master would have understood if he'd left Tonhj behind. Though I'm sure the Master would have grieved even more.

    Loved the last bit!! ?Come, Padawan, we must contact the Council and let them know what has happened.? For just a moment, Qui-Gon was startled at the bitterness in his Master?s voice. ?We must tell them that their lack of information has cost this young boy his life.?

    Yep yep there's the man I know [face_love] well the character I admire. Truth be known that the Council has done things like that before :(

    Excellent job! Gotta feel for Qui :( knowing the youth for a lil while and then having him die in his arms. Poor kid...
  4. VadersMistress Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2004
    star 6
    Awww... He was concerned for Qui-Gon. So sweet.

    Wonderful job!
  5. Fluff-Slayer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2005
    star 2
    Awww, a beautiful job, V.

    The characterization is marvelous. I especially love Qui-Gon?s astonishment at hearing the bitterness in his Master?s voice. Poor, poor Padawan Tonhj! Angst is good. Angst is healthy. Angst makes authoresses exercise talent.

    ?A spoonful of angst will keep the doctor away!? 8-}

    Anyhoo?

    Your flawless description makes my heart ache. Unfortunately, I can?t give this the long, thorough review that it deserves? *Glances tiredly at the clock* Sowwy? But let it be known that your writing gives me renewed faith in the world: as long as there are still good writers, I?m not too worried. [face_peace]
  6. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
    This was really good. Dooku is such an intriguing character...and I really like his character development, we can see how different he is from the older Qui-Gon.

    'Come along, boy'... I can really imagine him saying that.

    The death of the Padawan was so sad, and poor little Qui....

    *sniff* I love the end, because you can see how Dookus resentment for the council begins to fester...

    fantastic write.

    If this will be continued (which I hope it will!) pleaaase PM me.

    LOVE AND PEACE.
  7. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Just as touching as the first time I read this. Now I need to sniff quietly or someone will ask what I'm doing.
  8. Jennifer_Lyn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2005
    star 4
    Nice job!
    I really liked the Dooku characterization here! He was most definitely a Jedi, but with enough "Dooku-ness" that you could see where he was heading in the future. Poor Qui-Gon, what a rough time.
    I'd enjoy more of this as well! (hint, hint)
  9. LilQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 2
    Poor Tonhj! Poor Qui-Gon! :_| :_| :_| Spit on Dooku! :mad: Great job!
  10. Briman Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2004
    star 4
    I could really feel for Gui-Gon in this, didn't really enjoy Dooku that much though. Very good vignette!
  11. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Layren Thank you! Glad you liked it.

    Kynstar Glad you think I did your baby justice! :p

    VadersMistress I'm just a sweet person. Hey, quit laughing! [face_frustrated]

    Fluff-Slayer Thank you for reading, and yes, angst does the soul good.

    JOINME I can't even imagine where I'd go from here, but if a wild plot bunny finds me, I'll let you know! 8-}

    Healer_Leona Maybe you should comfort Qui-Gon? ;)

    Jennifer_LynDooku is a hard character for me to write.

    LilQui-Gon You'd better watch out, Kynstar will get you! [face_beatup]

    Briman Thanks for reading! :D
  12. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    :_|

    Beautiful and terrible.
  13. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    maychorian Thank you! [:D]
  14. Jemmiah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    I usually stay clear of Dooku fics. Don't ask me why...I think Christopher Lee's performance was so spine-tinglingly chilling and dark that I felt I couldn't get near to him as a character. But you've done the impossible: you helped me get under Dooku's skin to the point where I could understand him, especially his overwhelming desire to protect Qui-Gon. I was glad that they took the other padawan's body home and could empathise with Qui-Gon's wishes. Brilliant viggie! :)

    Permission to archive?

  15. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    That was a wonderful interlude between Qui-Gon and Dooku, and such a hard lesson for young Qui-Gon!

    He had never seen anyone die before. It felt horrible, like a being submerged in a freezing cold ocean of water and slowly sinking to the bottom, all the while looking up and seeing sunshine above, but knowing you could never reach it.

    That's such a nice description of what Qui-Gon feels when Tonhj dies!

  16. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    :_| :_| :_|

    Oh that was so sad. At least Tonhj accepted his death stoically.

    I'm relieved they were able to take him back to the ship instead of leaving him behind.

    Great job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  17. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Jemmiah You already know the answer to that! :p And thank you for reading!

    ardavenport A difficult lesson indeed. :(

    KELIA I'm so glad you liked it! [:D]



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