These are addictive...

I kept thinking up new ones, help me Obi Wan, I can't stop!!!
Probably because he has so many ISSUES...

Last things said in Darth Vader?s presence:

Lord Vader, it was all my fault, I?d like to offer my deepest apology for?

YOU'RE that scrawny kid from Tatooine? What the heck happened to you?

Stop with the heavy breathing already, it?s getting on my nerves

LOOK it?s the Emperor! Ha, ha, made you look?

So do I get the promotion?

I scheduled the Battle Station Launch party for Tuesday at Armadillo Willy?s BBQ Pit; that cool with you? Or do you prefer an outdoor grill?

Hey, Stumpy!

Can you give me a hand...

What do you call an amputee lying on the ground? Matt, LOL, get it, Matt!

Hey, I?m from Tatooine too, you remember that little punk that worked at Watto?s? What a whiney pest he was?

Hey, nice photo, Padme eh? She?s hot?

Want to contribute to the ?Save the endangered Sandpeople fund??

Yo momma!

Slaves are not worth the sand in their shoes?

Who?s your daddy!?!

Look, you think you know better than a qualified professional, then YOU fix it, I?m on my break.

Nyah, nyah, I know where the plans are and I?m not telling, what you gonna do about it Mr. Big Shot Sith? I?ve got diplomatic immunity?

Er, could you open this jar for me?

Seriously, it?s not my fault!

(Knocks on armor) Knock-knock?

(Reaches for chest panel on Vader) So what does this switch do, *click*.

Have you ever tried Anger Management? sir?

What do you look like in there, all gross and pus?

Here?s your flame broiled Whopper!

I ah, er, well, I kind of left the plans out and now I can?t find them. They probably just got tossed, I?ll just print out another copy.

Schedule, Smedule, I?ll finish your frickin superlaser when I?m damn ready to, I don?t care if the Emperor himself is coming, what?s the old man gonna do anyway, have a heart attack if it?s not done?

I accidentally shipped the Emperor wrinkle cream instead of that case of varisian brandy, heh, kind of funny when you think about it?

So, what, you take D cells? Where do you put your batteries anyway?

I want to be a Jedi?

Obi Wan kicked your BUTT dude, he just let you win the second time around because he didn?t like your smell?

Yoda?s little finger was better than your **** and had more power too?

Could I get my steak blackened?

*Waves Vader?s lightsaber in front of his face* ?Yoouuuu want this, doooon?t youuuuu?.

There just isn?t enough burn cream in the entire galaxy to cover THOSE blemishes?

I got a piñata for the party, looks just like the Death Star? what?

(I'd think he'd have REAL issues with Piñata?s in general after Mustafar, bad memories of someone swinging a saber at him, limbs flying...)

(after ANH) Yeah, I assigned your co pilots on the Death Star, so? They run into you or something?

When WAS your last oil change? Sounds like you got a lot of miles on you, and I'll bet your warranty is WAY expired...

Yeah, I sold Han his Hyperdrive, it's de baum, heard he's raising hell with it out near Hoth...

You have any kids that lived?

Hot enough for ya?

Sorry, we couldn't get the band in time to play "Vader's March", but I do have a kazoo...(*plays tune*)

*snaps fingers* Waiter, oh waiter? Wait, you're not my waiter...

((Actually used to taunt Jim Pillsbury, one of the best Vaders with those last two, I got my RP throat snapped numerous times...thank goodness for clone tanks))