Games Things EU characters would NEVER say (humor)

Leia: I'm not sure Mara's the best rolemodel for our daughter.

Mara: Oh heck, it's only a ship!

Jaina: Wow Mom, you're way cooler than Aunt Mara!

Tsavong Lah: Who stole my iPod?

 

Thrawn: I like little fuzzy kittens

 

Corran Horn: Luke, your right I just might turn to the darkside(in reference to the conversation between Luke and Corran about the falling to the darkside in I, Jedi)

Nute Gunray: Someone get me a blaster I'm going to kill Senator Amidala myself.

 

LOL, these are all priceless

Nen Yim: Windows ME rocks. [now I know why they hate technology]

Jacen: I like animals ... they taste good.

Vergere: There is a dark side and a light side. Follow the light, moron.

Dooku: I want a pet crow*

Vader: How big is my SSD?**

* LOTR joke
** Fleet Junkie humor

 

Council member circa KOTOR2 (I think Vrook was the stuck up one): You know I think we made a mistake with the Exile's banishment and our handling of the Mandalorians.

Canderous: I want my mummy!

HK-47: Query: Would you like to see my pet kitten?

 

Vader- Luke can you refrain from damaging my armor it takes hours to polish.

Aurra Sing- I wish i could pick up K-roc with this antennna.

 

Random Yuuzhan Vong: Killing is so...unhappy *crying*

 

Any Yuuzhan Vong: Lets do the robot!

 

Any Vong: How do you get the internet on this thing?

 

Any Vong: How do you get the internet on this thing?

Will we ever run out of Vong-technolgy jokes? LMAO

Nom Anor: The X-Box is the supreme gaming console.

Luke: It ain't wrong to kiss yer sister on Tattooine, so pucker up, Leia.

Vader: I see your Scwartz is as big as mine.

 

Tsavong Lah: hey guys! I was on Wayland, and I found the plans for this cool thingy that can blow up planets! Let's build it!

Every Other Vong: Here, here!


*build Death Star*

 

Any Shamed One: gee, I really love my job
Face Loran: Man, I really wish I hadn't quit making Imperial holodramas.

 

Mara: Luke I think its wonderful idea to go looking for Callista, here I'll even help!

Luke (to Mara): oooooh a sarcasm meter, like that's a useful invention (thanks to Comic book guy in the Simpsons for that idea). (Cue the smack in response from Mara).

 

Hobbie: I'm giddy...

 

Wes: "I think I'll blow up Kettch."

Wedge: "I wish I had stayed as Kettch."

Jag: "I should've killed Jaina when I had the chance."

 

Xizor: I really get orange when I see Vader.

 

Vader: You know, the whole black armor/cape thing is overrated. I'd be much more menacing in a cooler color, like say, lime green.

Anakin: Pfft. Forget this Jedi stuff - I think I'll go become a moisture farmer.

 

Luke: "Hmm, maybe I should just let the rebels be destroyed. It's time I pursued my career as a singer!"

 

Luke: Why the heck did I ever leave Tatooine. I love it there!

Wes: C'mon Hobbie, get serious.

Hobbie: Alright, you've been right all along Wes, I am stupid.

Tsavong Lah: I hereby declare we must stop using organic material. We must use technology from now on.

Wedge: Thanks Kyp for wiping my gf's mind. It was really thoughtful of you. *gives Kyp a hug*

Jacen: I say we go annilate anybody who stands in my way! *Luke and Cilgal agrees while Kyp disagrees*

Jaina: Jag, I never loved you. I like using you as my toy.

Jag: I HATE YOU JAINA!!

Luke: *shoots Mara and carries off Danni*

 

::A group of tourists stand in front of that painting with the big red dot in the middle.::

Thrawn: I don't get it!

 

Jaina: Mom, you're the greatest!

Leia: I can't stay for this late meeting; my family is expecting me for dinner.

 

She might say that to Fey'lya.

 

Fey'lya: Power, why in space would I want that?

Jaina: I prefer men with brown eyes and blond hair.

(from the OS)Tenel Ka: Fiction.

Yoda: A beer, give me.

Mara: I hate guns. I'm a pacifist.

Vader: Don't sweat it, we all kriff up from time to time.

Jaina: Fashion before comfort.

 

Well, this is actualy something that Fey'lya might say but...


Borsk Fey'lya: POWER! UNLIMITED POWER!!!!

*Force lightnings Mara Jade out the window of his office*

 

Leia: Politics? ME?! *laughs* Jedi all the way for this lady!

Jacen: Philosophies for wusses. How 'bout some smashball?

Anakin Solo: Tahiri, will you marry me?*

*(said as a strapping lad in his middle twenties)


El Clono: Reconquer the galaxy? Oh, noooo. With this new lease on life, I think it's time to indulge the hobbies I just never had time for. Does anyone know a quiet planet where I can fish and practice my crochet?

Mara: You think this (holds up a few strands of her hair) is real? At my age? *snorts*

Han: nah, I don't need a fast ship. I just want something that's low maintence and gets me where I need to go.