Games Things EU characters would NEVER say (humor)

Tsavong Lah: Thank you for calling microsoft, head of technical support speaking, how can I help you today?

 

Good ones! Here are mine:

Tahl (picks up her cane): Qui Gon, let's walk to Target!

Jag: I'm sorry Jaina. I've made a terrible mistake. You need a man who is witty, smart, brilliant, and is the best pilot ever. If we ever find Zekk in the transitory mists, I promise I'll stay out of the way.

Zekk: Jagged Fell is extremely relaxed, suave, charming, and bad ass. He's your man!

Sintas: Bobba, can you pass me some tea please?

Yoda: Clear as glass the dark side is. After ten minutes of morning meditation, know who all the sith are, I do.

Luke, Han, Leia to DelRay and Lucasfilm: All of this running around and shooting up things in our old age is sooo blah. Can't you just have someone shoot us so we can die and get it over with? Let the young uns have some fun!

 

Jag: Heh heh heh ... you said "Doody"
Jaina: I said "Duty" D-U-T-Y.

Atris: Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries, I fart in your general direction!

Vader: *sings* I'm too Sithy for my shirt, too Sithy for my shirt, so Sithy it hurts ...

 

Jag: I'm sorry Jaina. I've made a terrible mistake. You need a man who is witty, smart, brilliant, and is the best pilot ever. If we ever find Zekk in the transitory mists, I promise I'll stay out of the way.




Jaina: Oh no, it's no like that at all. he's my BROTHER!

Jag: Wha....

Jaina: Kidding!


Actually she WOULD say something like that!

 

Thrawn: Kriff, I blundered right into the Rebels' trap!

Nas Choka: My amphistaff just bit me in the butt!

Nen Yim: Hmmm, these plants I shaped oughta handle any wayward plumbers left on the surface before they slip through the network of pipes on Yuuzhan'Tar and sabotage our work. And if they don't, these turtles will.

 

Jagged Fel: I love democracy.

 

Corran Horn: Hey, Luke, look at this rock I'm levitating! Lol, I laughed my arse off when I thought of this one!

 

Nom Anor: Yeah...it was me, I take full responsibility.

 

Padme: Anakin, what're you smoking? I'm not even attracted to men! Stars, my relationship with Mon Mothma is all over the tabloids, and now you're asking me out?! *bursts out laughing*

Obi-Wan(after shooting Grievous): *singing to the tune of "Joy to the World"* Joy to the world the gen'ral's dead / I barbecued his head / he's laying in the 'fresher / he's laying in the 'fresher / around and around he goes / around and around he goes / around and around and around he goes.

 

Caedus: I honestly didn't kill Mara with a dart ... I just fed her a ryshcate.
Tahiri: And what's that supposed to mean?
Caedus: She's highly allergic to vweilu nuts.

 

Corron: Kyp Durron is my best friend. I wish I'd known him when I got married. Perfect best man. Hey, maybe he'll marry my daughter. Wouldn't that be swell?

Akanah: I would never take advantage of a person's mother issues.

Zekk: I am completely over Jaina Solo.

Tsavong Lah: Assassin's Creed 2 is the best game ever. The graphics look amazing on my XBOX 360.

Jag Fel: The Moffs are so well behaved. They never act like children at all!

 

Luke: Here, Tahiri, have a whole case of Mountain Dew for breakfast, along with this kilogram of gummy bears and this box of cookies.

Leia: Hey Han, howabout a threesome with Isolder?

Bane: I'm sparkly.

 

Jabba: Haven't you heard of the bounty I put on your head?

Han: Haven't you heard of Jenny Craig?

 

Winter ,after waiting ten minutes in a drive-thru, finally makes it up to the window.

Worker: Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?
Winter: I've waited here so long, I forgot what I wanted.

 

Canderous: Have you seen my fluffy bunny slippers, Carth?

Obi-Wan: What say, General; ten paces, turn and fire?

Thrawn: All your base are belong to us!

 

Obi-Wan(to Vader): If you strike me down, I'll go haunt your house.

 

Tsavong Lah. "And I say that 'Revenge of the Fallen' was the best movie of 2009!"

 

Leia: If we're to sign this treaty, the Empire will have to give up it's use of bioweapons.
Pellaeon: What the kriff are you talking about? What bioweapons?
Leia: You need to cut off Tschel's supply of beans and ranch dressing, Admiral.
Pellaen: Ah! Those bioweapons. Agreed.

 

Luke: It's kinda pathetic that the first time I was kissed by another human, she was my sister.
Mara: "Another human"? What d'you mean?
Luke: Well ... there was this bantha ...

 

Han to Leia: Hun, where out of towels
Leia to Han: Just use Chewie's hide

Ben to Jacen: Yes, whip me, beat me...

Revan to Malak: Sith this....

Malak to Bastila: Now you will serve me
Bastila to Malak: Nah, I per fore women

Yoda to Luke: Cookieeeeee....num, num, num

 

Jabba: Not for me thanks, I'm on a diet.

 

Palpatine: There are no points for second place!

Obi-Wan: Hey Luke, I gotta a surprise in my pocket.

 

Tsavong Lah to Nom Anor: Can't we just put all this behind us and be friends?

 

Releqy A'Kla: "Kill the kriffing bastards. KILL."

 

C-3PO(to R2-D2): Hey, laser lips! Your mother was a snow blower!