In 1994, Lord and Lady Templeton-Peck decided to summer in The Hamptons. And, as is often the case, when Lord and Lady Templeton-Peck decide something it comes to pass. Early in their stay, Lord Templeton-Peck's personal man-servant took ill, and could not fulfill his duties. His Lordship decided to hire a temporary man-servant. Thanks to a resume filled with lies, and the charm of the Irish, AmazingB was awarded the position. B slotted right in, the only problem was Her Ladyship, a strikingly handsome woman of 45. Whenever young B made eye contact with her, blood would rush to his cheeks, and he'd blush the colour of a ripe red apple. There was something there...the way she looked at him made him think...but, no, surely not. One fine summer's day, his Lordship decided to visit a local gun range. He decided the entire household would attend, except B, who had some chores to do. B went about his work, and while polishing His Lordship's collection of snuff boxes in the bedroom, began whistling a happy tune, safe in the knowledge he was alone in the house. Except he wasn't. B stopped in mid-whistle, when Lady Templeton-Peck entered the room. Se had begged off the trip claiming to have a "headache". She walked confidently forward to stand before B. "Oh Brian," she she said breathily, "whatever am I to do with you?" B's eyes met carpet, and he stared a hole into it (figuratively). "Brian, look at me." he obeyed. "Take....take off my dress, Brian." The tension was palpable, B remained a statue. "Now!" She commanded, and with shaking hands he obeyed, fingers tingling with every touch of skin on skin, dropping the dress to the floor. "Brian, take off my bra," Her Ladyship ordered. B obeyed. "Now this..." Lady Templeton-Peck said breathlessly as she pointed, "is my favourite thong. Please, Brian, take it off." He did as asked, hands shaking. "And now Brian, I forbid you from wearing my clothes again" That's right, he's a cross dresser.
I'm too old, Brian. I'm a dinosaur. A dinosaur who sees a log (a wooden log!) whittles it away into something beautiful, like a smaller, prettier log, only to have one of these mouth breathers see my creation and decide it would make great kindling. So glad we can PM again!
Things You Didn't Know About AmazingB #166 (Consolidated into one thread per Kate's request. About nine years ago) B has a horse named Bunny, and a bunny named Callum.
I remember complaining in Comms about the lack of consolidation of these here threads back in the day. What a sad tale.