Things you never thought you'd hear Vader doing...

This one is on the main page and IS REAL...

Don't Heckle Darth Vader

Posted By Dustin on December 14, 2005
UPI.com reports:

"Star Wars Anakin Skywalker, aka actor Hayden Christensen, let at least one recent New York detractor see his Darth Vader dark side.

The Canadian actor is currently filming the movie, "Awake," in New York with Jessica Alba.

He was leaving his trailer the other day when he was approached by what appeared to be a fan seeking an autograph, the New York Post reported Tuesday.

But instead of asking for his John Hancock, the "fan" yelled at the actor: "You ruined the 'Star Wars' movies!"

A source on the set told the Post Christensen "chased the guy down the street and scared him away."

A spokeswoman for the Weinstein Co., which is producing "Awake," declined comment."

But now I started this, we HAVE to do more...

THINGS YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER SEE/HEAR VADER DOING:

1. Shopping at K-Mart.. or Walmart... or any where for that matter. Just can't see the dark lord of the sith pushing a cart, nope, nope, nope. And standing in line? Not hardly.

2. Vader at the Flea Market. You gonna haggle with him? Not me. "Here ya go, take it, all yours, and take this too, heck *sweats*, take it all, heh, what am I gonna do with it?"

3. Putting up the Xmas Tree / Life Day Tree. Burning it, yeah, but I think he's kind of wary of fire, actually... and of BBQ's, spot heaters, any drinks or desserts called "volcano" (oh, we have to do the Rainforest Cafe again now, heh), etc. etc.

4. Vader in shorts.

Add your own visions of vileness!

Good Lord I hope J.P. never comes here or I'm Sooooooo DEAD. And if you tell him Kim, I'll make your life a living HELL, you think Mustafar was warm, I'll send you daily .wavs of Ren and Stimpy until your speakers blow.

LOL

You'd never see Vader in the men's room..and if you did..you wouldn't live to tell the tale.

You gonna tell him his fly is down? Does he wash up? After Mustafar does he even have...

Nevermind.

Don't wanna know.

lalalalalalalalalalalala

Ok, got to admit it... when Anakin was lying on the table, getting treated for his burns...

I...I...I.. had to look. (Cause I was wondering if he still had.... )


Guess I needed more than 70mm to find out, cause I couldn't see anything...(magnifying glass anyone)?

What about a zoom function on the dvd? Yes/no/maybe?

Dark Lord Sid: This forum is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.

Young Anakin: What do you mean, "biblical"?

Qui Gon: What he means is Old Testament, young one, real wrath-of-God type stuff.

Dark Lord Sid: Ex-act-ly.

Darth Maul: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling.

Mace Windu: Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes...

Yoda: The dead rising from the grave mmmmmm hmmm.

Obi Wan: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria!


Cheerfully copied and slightly modified from Ghostbusters, 1984

Back to the theme:

Vader singing Xmas carols with the stormtrooper choir.

Vader ironing his cape (steam and heat, not good).

Vader driving a schoolbus (tells the kids ONCE to sit down then throws an over shoulder grip on any dissenters).

Vader riding Small World (Can you see it in flames like Pirates after he gets done with it?)

I think I'm gonna move on now, nothing else to see here, move along, move along...

Vader taking his turn to serve in the Death Star Cafeteria.

ROFLMFJAO!!! Just have this picture of Vader (only one in the entire boat) riding through IASW !!!!!!! Just sitting there.....


And now...

Vader at a BBQ, with a "Kiss The Cook" Apron on!

This is just sad..... You people are mean.. picking on me. *sighs and wipes away tears* *cries*
And I have all my fiddely bits thank you!! *storms off in a swirl of dark cloak*

Vader sitting down and just having a nice cry!


(Oh..and I used the zoom, Ani...you might check those "bits" again)

Vader eating Spagetti through the grates in the mask.

(you actually ZOOMED? Master.. you are a sick.. sick man. LOL)

Vader eating a Carl's Jr. Cheeseburger through the breath mask..(actually strike that CAUSE I once DID see a Darth Vader eating an entire Carl's Jr. Combo Cheeseburger meal through the breathgrid...EW!)

(And Yes, Ani, I DID Zoom..... )

EEEEEEEEWWWWWWW.. through the grate? LIke.. an actual man... eating through the grate? How can you eat like that?!

Yes, actual man, eating the meal through the grate (back when the Original SW first came out)...it was...mashed/pushed through cause the guy didn't want to unmask in public. It was definitely EW! (I think he eventually did push the french fries up under the neck cause the grate got...full.. (EW!)

You had to be there.

*gags* that's deeeeeeeesgusting!!!!!!

I'd have paid NOT to be there, ick. Heck, just the decription has scarred me for life.

It's simply un-natur-al.

For that little TMI Obi, I'm sending you back to your desert shack to meditate for a decade or two. Maybe you old master will drop by if you are good and smack you upside the head. Either that or I'll finally get Maul pasted back together again and he can make his revenge *complete*.

It's either that or go find the camel that has Qui Gon's mustache.

In the words of Willy Wonka:

"Ew!"

((yes we finally saw that on video and it's becoming a favorite))

Thanks a LOT. Now whenever I see Anakin looking sulky in the last two of the prequel films, this little voice in my head will helpfully supply the dialogue: "And I have all my fiddly bits, thank you!"

ARGH.

- Kai, laughing