Things your favorite characters don't want you to know about them...

Veng - when I meant Owen wasn't Luke's "Uncle", I meant he was really his "Dad", as in got along with Padme real well.


Luke - wears Mara's underwear into combat.

R.

 

Kyle Katarn: Did the nasty with Mara during the 'Mysteries of the Sith' and can't look Luke in the eye anymore.

Thrawn: Failed art class.

Wedge Antilles: Screams "Bonzai! Who's your daddy! Who's your daddy!" every time he makes an attack run.

Corran: Has a beer fridge in Whistler.


Shira Brie: Suffering from amnesia. Is now calling herself Mara Jade, and has married Luke Skywalker.

LOL!

 

Jacen: Has magazines that, uh...Han and Leia wouldn't exactly approve of hidden under his mattress

 

Overlord Shimrra: watches Martha Steward religiously.

 

dude, that's just sick

 

um...yeah.

 

HAHAHAHA CORRAN! Excellent job.

 

*cough*..*cough*...ouchy, my...sides...too...much..laughing!

Booster Terrik: Has always "admired" Iella Wessiri...

 

Lando: Even after seven years of marriage and three decades of womanizing, is still a virgin.

Tahiri: Has secretly been seeing Jacen behind Anakins back.

Grand Moff Tarkin: Was using the Death Star to compensate for something.

 

Corran Horn: A big fan of Patty Duke.

Sand People: Ugly as hell.

Jawas: "Utinni" is the equivalent of "Go take a flying leap, moron."

 

SHAI: Had balls cut off in an offertory

Padme: runs a Brothel for the Senators on Coruscant

There the best I could come up with.

 

Padme: Wasn't hired at Hooters for obvious reasons.

Winter: A.k.a. the Peroxide Queen.

Isard: Collects beenie-babies.

 

Mirith Sinn: Got drunk one night with Sadeet and...

 

Darth Vader: Not only is he Luke's dad, but also his grandfather, uncle, and cousin.

Chewie: Has schizophrenia.

Luke: Afraid of water after "dianoga incident."

Corran: Acts omnipotent, arrogant, and all-knowing to hid his homosexual tendencies toward Luke.

Wedge: Does more than sleep in his X-wing cockpit during those long hyperspace transits.

Leia: Had a love affair with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

 

Wedge: Does more than sleep in his X-wing cockpit during those long hyperspace transits.

Ewwwwwwwwwww...

 

Tsavong Lah: Really wanted to spare everyone in the GFFA connected with creating Pringles, the Stackable Potato Chip.

 

Jaxxon: had an affair with a Hoojib.

 

can't you guys do this without being raunchy?... or atleast be subtle. No originality. Everyone thinks sexual...

 

Two words: SEX SELLS.

 

Wedge Antilles: secretly pretends he's flying a spaceship in his room before he goes to sleep.

Jabba the Hutt: picks his nose using his tail.

Obi Wan: cries everynight thinking about how badly he trained Anakin.

Luke: has a wooden lightsaber when he "practices" with Mara. (is that subtle enough )

 

Lando: wears elevator shoes.

Lobot: Used to have an afro until Lando made him shave because he was scaring small children.

Nom Anor: Owns Richard Simmon's Sweating to the Oldies.

 

These are hilarious!

 

Ben Skywalker's father is Jacen!!!

 

Darth, man, you edited my post but not I_J?
Oh well.


The Emperor: he wears a hood to cover up the pattern baldness Rogaine failed to cure(bald men are less threatning, therefore unworthy of Emperorship of Galaxy)

 

Luke won the sand castle building contest when he was 17. Now you know why he wanted to get off planet.