Things your favorite characters don't want you to know about them...

Grand Moff Tarkin: had a nose job.

TC

 

I agree with Ludicrous; cut back on the sex jokes, everyone.
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Yoda: Once owned porno magazines, but gave them to Mace Windu.

Darth Vader: Loves his roses, is over-protective of his "Sweet Angel", watches Martha Stewart, has a pink apron that says "Kiss the Cook's Butt", and practices inner-city talk whenever he can.

Thrawn: Is planning to teach Ben Skywalker in the fine ways of Art.

Han: Cross-dresses. Need I say more?

Boba Fett, Darth Maul, Kyp Durron, Zekk, Jagged Fel, Batman, Neo, and Superman: After realizing their love for Jaina, these rejects formed a musical band known as the Rejects(TM).

Darth Maul: Writes poetry.

Count Dooku: Likes Padme, but doesn't dare tell Vader, in fear of having his head cut off.

Padme & Vader: Love to tango.

 

Obi-Wan: While locked in Padme's dressing room, he let Anakin dress him into one of Padme's dresses (a sleeveless light blue one, with a silver sash around the waist, a transparent white shawl around the shoulders, and a silver necklace), while Anakin was in Padme's senatorial dress (with that odd cone-shaped hairpiece on his head). Never wanted to think about it again.

Rabe: Has a very big crush on Obi-Wan.

Yane: Has a very big crush on Anakin.

Eirtae: Is fond of Corellian whiskey.

 

Eirtae: hates her name for not beign short like Rane or Rabe

 

Prince Xizor had a fling with Thrawn while Thrawn had another fling with Jodo Cast.

 

Shmi: really Won Anakin in a card game, Lied and said she gave birth to him.


Jaina: still sleeps with her blanky.


Jacen: Is having a secret love affair with Kyp Durron.


Han: Afraid of cute little bunny rabbits.


Obi-Wan: Haunts Han with fuzzy pink bunny slippers, and birthday and Christmas presents of Rabbits.

 

LOL...laughing really hard.

Daala: Is really an HRD with the intelligence center missing.

Qwi-Xux: Dropped herself in a VAT of blue dye to make herself more attractive.

Corran: Has wild, passionate fantasies about Kyp all the time.

Leia: Wears her gold bikini under all those robes for all of her senate appearences..

 

Soontir Fel: Likes clasical music and writes poetry to get in touch with his inner child.

Jaina: Still takes her Wookie doll with her everywhere.

Kyp: Is obsessed with watching The Little Lost Bantha Cub video.

Obi-wan: Forced Adi Gallia to give Anakin the "talk".

Isard: Loves flower aranging.

That's what I came up with.

~Miss Jaina

 

Jabba the Hutt: knits.

TC

 

Palpatine: has read every Harlequin romance ever published.

Wedge: Gets Iella to dye herself blue and wear a feathery wig.

Qui Xux: The real reason she left Wedge was because she was worried he would discover her affair with Kyp Durron.

Artoo Deetoo: Is God. He?s just a little shy.

 

Panaka: Is a closet Earth Wars fan. He spends his off duty hours arguing on the Holonet with other fans over continuity errors, like Michael Jackson's skin tone, and who exactly was involved in Watergate.

TC

 

Jar Jar- Spend his nights studying the complex mathmatic principles of hyperspace travel

R2D2- has dreams where he hooks up with the toaster oven

Obi-wan- Twists his Padawan braid and sticks it into his mouth when no one is watching.

Leia-snores

Padme- Dreams about me

 

TalonCard:

 

Padme Amidala won the Naboo National Belching contest 3 years in a row.

 

Brakiss: *really* hates his name.

Corran Horn: sucks his thumb when Stackpole isn't looking.

TC

 

obi wan kenobi: uses R2D2 to surf for intergalactic porn channels

Emperor Palpatine: plastic surgery gone wrong

 

C-3PO: is really only fluent in 5,999,999 forms of communication.

 

TK-421: After being knocked out and robbed of his Sotrmtrooper armor, realised his strong resemblance to Luke, switched places and kept up the charade ever since.

 

Chewbacca: speaks perfect english (er, 'basic') backwords to implant subliminal messages in people's minds. Well of course it SOUNDS like wookie...

Lando: Gave the Millenium Falcon to Han as a bribe to never speak of that time with the guy at the place with the thing.

 

Padme- Threw up during her first appearance in Senate
Leia- Eats with her mouth open
Luke- Loves to play SW games and likes to play anyone with a red lightsaber
Jaina- Likes the taste of Wokkie flesh
Sache- When Ami left her on Naboo she shot Yane in the arm for the fun of it knowing she would get away with it
Yane- Eats worms
Rabe- Thinks dandruf tastes good
Eritae- Draws pics of Padme and Obi wan kissing
Sabe- Was really a secret agent for the Trade Fedration
Mara Jade- Once kissed Boba fett
Jag- Dreams about marrying Tenel Ka

Long live Jag!

 

Isard: watches soap operas.

TC

 

wicket: hit himself in the head with a slingshot...wait a second...

 

Jerec: picks his nose.

TC

 

Darth Vader: wished he had more feeling in his __.

Obi Wan: is a flaming alcholic, and has to live in a cave in the desert because he sold his house for liqour.

C3P0: the Galaxy's first gay droid.

R2-D2: is tired of everyone trying to insert trash into his face.

Emperor Palpatine: is deathly scared of water (can anyone guess why?)

Jar-Jar Binks: Founder of Special Galactic Olympics

Princess Leia: likes her Hutts extra slimey

Luke Skywalker: has to sleep with the light on, because he's so pathetically afraid of darkness.

Anakin Skywalker: sometimes gets pooped on when walking under Watoo

God_Of_Sith: tells the Emperor what to do.

 

Isard: watches soap operas.

I can imagine it...
Isard: NO! HOW COULD THEY DO THAT TO POOR HELPLESS EVIR! So Erisi's baby is Kirtan's...what the hell is Flirry doing in hospital? Oh yes, thats right, he got hit by a speeder on Kessel, I forgot.