Phx Things Your Mother Never Told You....Until Now....

So we're sitting around the table at Christmas dinner when my mother (bless her graying head) starts talking about how happy she is that she had us kids etc and then goes into the detailed description of each of our births. *I'll spare you the details.*

She's sitting there talking about me and I zone out (I've heard the dramatic tale of my birth about 500,000 times) when suddenly the words Catholic and Baptized stick out of the story!

Say what?!

That's right folks I found out that I am one of the few, the proud, Catholic Mormons! And to make it even better here's the scoop!

I was born at St. Mary's Catholic hospital in Salt Lake City, UT to Mormon parents. The nuns at the hospital knowing my parents were heathenous Mormons took it upon themselves to baptize me as a Catholic without my parents consent probably while my mother slept and I was in the nursery!!

ISN'T THAT AWESOME!!

So I am offically a member of TWO religions!!

Does that make me a Cathmon or a Mormolic?


So now I want to know does anyone else have a cool story they found out about themselves recently that you never knew?

 

Interesting... don't worry too much about that Catholic thing, unless you were also secretly given Communion as a kid and then Confirmed in young adulthood I'm sure you're more Mormon than Catholic

 

Thats cool.

I am right there with you Wenchy

You could consider me an Irish Catholic Jew

 

Is that anything like the time the jew, the athiest, and the pagan hung christmas lights at my apartment I shared with my friend Cliff ?

Yes it's a true story, not a punchline setup.

 

Yeah, okay - a week before my wedding, some woman shows up at my mom's doorstep and introduces herself as my mom's sister. My mom, up until that moment, didn't know she *had* a sister.

Turns out that grandma had a trist while husband #1 went to war, and gave the baby up for adoption.

The really scary twist to all of this... the woman is married to Rob's mom's cousin, and Rob had known her for years.

Now you know everything.

 

I already knew about that.

 

well, okay, then it was for everyone that *didn't* know it already.

 

My mother never told me what Ring Around the Rosie was about. Being interested in history I found out MUCH earlier than she expected...talk about shocking the hell out of a kid "You had me sing what ?"

 

arggggghhhhhhh damn one minute post.

 

not sure if this counts but..

my mom told me when i was 3 that brussel sprouts were called chinese cabbage balls.. so i would eat em.. i didnt find out differenly till 6th grade!

 

My grandmother just deigned to tell us that she left my grandfather (when for as long as my mother can remember she was told that he abandoned them when Mom was 18 months old) when she found out he had gotten another woman pregnant. Also, that some woman had claimed something similar before they even got married

Now, for some reason, my grandmother just started talking about this very matter of factly. My mother knew she had a sister 7 years younger than her, but this new stuff was totally out of the blue. So, now my Mom is struggling w/ the fact that she may have at least 2 more half siblings floating around the country.

As for me, I was conceived during the great black-out of 1969. Dad says, "There was nothing on TV, what else were we supposed to do?"

 

When my mom's oldest sister was in her 40's, she found out that their dad wasn't actually her Dad. (Imagine! ) Turns out, Grandma was engaged before, and her fiance died in WWII, but not before leaving a little something behind. Grandma already had my aunt when she met Grandpa (and the little girl in the wedding picture that looks so much like my aunt isn't Cousin Patty like they always said. ) All those years, they lied about the year they got married!

The really awful part is, when they were young my mom and the other kids (There are 7 of them. My family is Catholic. ) used to tease my aunt about being the milkman's kid, because she has red hair and no one else in the family does. They all felt pretty bad about that, but who knew?

 

When I was 12 I overheard a conversation my mother was having with a friend in the other room in which they were talking about me being adopted. It never really bothered me, so I just kept it as an Ace up my sleve (you'd have to know my family to understand why having a good hand is important) I brought it up one day a couple years ago in which she wen't nuts and was convinced one of my older sisters had told me. To this day she will not believe that it is she that slipped up. She wanted to keep it a secret for ever, apparently.

 

This year was slightly less ackward than previous years. One of which I came to find out that before my dad was born, his parents (my grandparents) lived in a nudist colony. Eww! Old shriveled up people I'm related to naked! The following year my uncle came out of the closet and told everyone he was gay on Christmas... man... I should write a book.

LP

 

when i was nine, not long after my dad died, my mom and i went to the social security office to fill out all the paperwork to recieve social security. they asked my mom a bunch of questions i forget, then came, "any previous marriages?" i thought in my head, "nope," because that's what i'd always been told. when, holy crap, mom answered, "yes." so she was married before my dad and i never knew til right then. when i asked her about it later, she said, "your dad didn't think it was something we needed to tell you." weird, huh? what's more, she married the other guy when she was only 17, and it didn't work out because supposedly he ended up being gay.

what's sort of funny is that her sister (my aunt) married a guy from norway... they got divorced, and now he's a woman, or so i heard. so i always joke, "hey, mom, when do i get to marry a gay guy?" hehehe

 

I'll never forget the Christmas we found out my Grandfather had been cheating on my Grandmother for 30 years.

OMG! It was one man against about a donzen angry women.

I'll never forget the look of terror on his face when they all stood up and went for him at the same time.

The result: My grandparents are still together! [face_shocked] Somehow, I don't know how, they worked it out.

 

After my parents got a divorce a few years ago my mother told me that she wanted to leave my dad about 20 years earlier but stuck it out because of us kids.

 

Not shocking, but kinda cool...

I am Abraham Lincoln's 14th cousin!!

(Yes, the 16th President of the US)

 

I found out from my grandmother that Heidi Fleiss is my cousin.

...and Nooooo Moe I dont have her phone #.

 

I >>DO<< have her phone number... somewhere... I used to work at GlobalCenter, and Ms. Fleiss had an account with us, that I took the extra step with and helped her solve some HTML problems... So she sent me a t-shirt from her Heidi-Wear line, signed, with a kiss on it and XOXOXOXO love from Heidi...

I also used to work with Kathy Ireland at the Santa Barbara Rescue Mission... We'd go to a nifty place called the Brickyard and grab a brew once in a while...

 

>nudging Choad with my elbow< [whisper] Sweetie, I thought we weren't gonna discuss who all we are related to and know. [/whisper]

 

My mother never told me what Ring Around the Rosie was about. Being interested in history I found out MUCH earlier than she expected...talk about shocking the hell out of a kid "You had me sing what ?"

? I thought that song was about the threat of nuclear war . "...Ashes, ashes, we all fall down!" Did I miss something?

Nothing fancy to tell here unless my folks are stil hiding something. I had many a conversation with my dad while he and I shared a few brews so something would have slipped in that time. And my mom, she wouldn't be able to hide anything with two sisters that talk all the time. They divorced when I was 11. I never found any pictures of any other people so my upbringing has nothing fancy to add to all those fun stories. Boring!

 

ring around the rosie is about the black death. if you want a line by line description, let me know.

nothing too big here. the only thing i can think of is that my mom thought my dad wanted my name spelled as it is now, but he actually wanted it to be something different. i like to joke that my life started out with a miscommunication between my parents.

 

Ok, see, that is just NOT fair! If Commander Choad & Master can get to know/be related to Heidi Fleiss and Kathy Ireland...

WHY OH WHY CAN'T I BE CHRISTIAN BALE'S PERSONAL NURSE?

GIGGLE...Oh yeah, that's right, I'm not a nurse yet.

Don't worry Christian honey, I'll be a nurse soon enough!