This game is supposed to be the equivilent to a JC sitcom.

Discussion in 'Big Brother 3: The Mods Strike Back' started by EagleIFilms, Sep 8, 2004.

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  1. EagleIFilms Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2001
    star 5
    That quote is from a post by comet tonight. I'm sure you saw it, he put it in two different threads. If you missed it first time around, go back and read it (just once should be fine). It's a good read. But on to my topic.

    In honor of his assertion (I'm sure it's a complete fact, don't get me wrong) that the Big Brother (reality show) board is supposed to be like a sitcom (not a reality show), and since everyone else on the board seems to want to play this like some sort of reality show (like Big Brother), I thought I would give people (like comet, apparently) who want to do this like a sitcom, a place to do it in.

    That sentence made perfect grammatical sense, go back and read it again.

    Back? Awesome. Okay. On to the sitcom.

    I call it 'Those Darn Users!'

    I figure we get ratings for a few reasons.

    1, the edgy cursing in the title
    2, the use of 'users' makes people think it's a comedy about druggies, which is an instant ratings grabber (look at Hardball, a show people only watch because its host is a daily user of the narcotic crack cocain)
    3, the exclamation mark used at the end of the title, which elicites a sense of excitement in the viewer (I took a class, I know what I'm talking about)

    Okay, well, I don't want to go on too much in this first post, so let's go ahead and get this mother on the road!

    EXT: Quaint New England town home, surrounded by trees and bushes.

    INT: Living room. The father, EAGLET, and the son, COMET, are standing in the room, talking to each other, both wearing 50s attire.


    COMET
    This house is a DRAG !

    EAGLET
    Now now, Comet, don't put a space between the end of your sentences and your puncuation!

    (laugh track)

    COMET
    I know, Dad, I'm just trying to give this house a little more DRAMA. It seems to be a little on the DRY side.

    EAGLET
    I know what you mean, son. Speaking of dry, I could really use a drink, after this 10 second conversation with you!

    (laugh track)

    ---------------------------------------

    Take it away, folks!
  2. Qui Gon Jim23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2002
    star 5
    JIM: Did someone say draaaag?

    [enter SoME in drag]

    (laugh track)

    RHETT: Now that's a drag.

    (laugh track)
  3. EagleIFilms Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2001
    star 5
    COMET
    No, his lipstick is totally wrong ! A drag queen would never where it like that!

    (laugh track)

    EAGLET
    Watch the puncuation and spelling, Comet!

    (uproarious laughter)
  4. Darth_AYBABTU Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2001
    star 6

    Rhett: That's some outfit you've got on there, SoMe.

    (laugh track)

    AYBABTU

  5. EagleIFilms Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2001
    star 5
    COMET
    Your not funny , Rhett. puns are dumb attempts at humor .

    EAGLET
    Will you shut the hell up??

    (roars of laughter that reach the hillsides)
  6. Darth_AYBABTU Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2001
    star 6

    RHETT: Comet, I've been called worse by better. Also, I'm going to kill you with a shovel.

    (ratings bonanza)

    AYBABTU

  7. EagleIFilms Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2001
    star 5
    INT. Producer's Booth. A small, rather Jewish man, sits, watching the show intently.

    DASH
    The inclusion of Comet in this show is genius! GENIUS!

    INT. Living Room

    EAGLET
    Comet, get in this chest. GET IN THE CHEST!

    Eaglet forces Comet into a cedar chest.

    (laugh track)

    EAGLET
    Alright, now there's SOME more exitement in this house! Smuggler, turn to the camera in a pose that will elicit the most laughter from the audience!

    Rhett turns, jiggles his artificial busoms, leans over, and blows a kiss to the camera.

    (the crowd goes wild)

    COMET
    (screaming from inside chest)
    Thats so not original at all ! !

    APOLLOSMILEGIRL
    (yelling from outside the house)
    That's it, Eaglet! Keep Comet inside that chest! I love me some homoerotical bondage in my sitcoms!

    EAGLET
    I'm not gay!

    (hilarious laughter)
  8. Darth_AYBABTU Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2001
    star 6

    RHETT: Then why did I find this in your room?

    (holds up Wham album)

    (laugh track)

    AYBABTU

  9. carmenite42 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 21, 2003
    star 4
    (Next scene starts with "Wake me up before you Go Go" playing)
  10. EagleIFilms Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2001
    star 5
    EAGLET
    That's not mine! That's...that's...that's COMET'S album!

    COMET
    (still inside chest)
    That's not mine!

    APOLLOSMILEGIRL
    (still yelling)
    But you are gay, right?

    COMET
    Well, yeah.

    (laughter)

    APOLLOSMILEGIRL
    I'll bet you give good helmet!

    (uproarious laughter)

    INT. Producer's Room

    DASH
    I knew it. My Jewish insticts told me that line would be a crowd killer every time!
  11. Darth_AYBABTU Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2001
    star 6

    [Kaine stumbles into room]

    KAINE: I'm drunk!

    JIM: Of course you are. You're Irish!

    (laugh track)

    [Carmen enters room wearing lingerie]

    CARMEN: Did someone say chest?

    [Carmen bares breasts]

    (laugh track with whistles)

    AYBABTU

  12. DarthAttorney Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2000
    star 6
    flashback sequence, INT. Eagle's bedroom

    WHAM plays on stereo, eagle dances awkwardly

    end flashback, INT lounge room

    close up eagle w/ guilty-but-pleased look on face


    (laugh track)
  13. carmenite42 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 21, 2003
    star 4
  14. EagleIFilms Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2001
    star 5
    EAGLET
    What? It's just mammary glands.

    APOLLO
    I knew it! You're gay!

    EAGLET
    No, I mean, um, I mean, HOT! I must, um, TOUCH them!

    FRANCIS
    (from PvP)
    Gaaaaaaaaaaay...
  15. Darth_AYBABTU Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2001
    star 6

    (channels start changing)

    (focus groups indicate that the show should get back to basics)

    AYBABTU

  16. carmenite42 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 21, 2003
    star 4
  17. EagleIFilms Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2001
    star 5
    COMET
    ' Boy " should be capitalised because its part of the name!

    EAGLET
    Oh, you silly silly boy!

    (laughter)
  18. comet1440 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 25, 2004
    star 4
    This is good stuff (most of it) but dont make it apparent that you are faking, create the illusion that what you are saying is indeed part of your true personality and then the audience ( or readers ) will enjoy it more. Ands lets cut the " Comet is gay " plot. Lets keep everything fresh. good work though.
  19. Terr_Mys Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2002
    star 6
    [Terr walks in the front door]

    TERR
    This doesn't look like New England...

    COMET
    ugh , this house is so lame !

    TERR
    You know who else uses spaces before exclamation points at the end of a sentence? The FRENCH.

    (audience oooo's)
  20. Darth_AYBABTU Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2001
    star 6

    CARMEN: Did someone say french?

    [carmen tongue kisses Smuggler]

    (audience whistles)

    AYBABTU

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