Saga This Time Around [AU, time travel; Jaina, Kyp, A/P, Obi-Wan] A/N July 18

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Idrelle_Miocovani, Jul 6, 2007.

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  1. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    :_| :_| :_| Poor Jacen!!!

    I hate that he's dead; I like him here :( Are Jaina etc. going to be able to fix it?

    Also, Palps = not cool [face_plain]
  2. G__Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2006
    star 4
  3. Chilla Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    He was dead, like Anakin, and she was alone. Forever.
    :_| That's why I hope Jacen and Jaina won't fight against each other in LotF.... :_|

    Awesome chapter! *sniffs* =D=
  4. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    Well!

    That was horrible!

    Great writing. Horrible turn of events.

    I thought your description of Jaina's feelings at having now lost both of her brothers was particularly affecting.


    LOVED your trailer. Please make it LONGER!!!:p

    Cheers.
  5. DarthJainaSolo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2007
    star 1
    I love this story so much! To be honest, I'm not a big Jaina/Kyp fan, but I'll make an exception here.

    Jacen's dead...oh man, you had me in tears there. I can't wait until you update. Please PM me whenever you do.
  6. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    Hmm. No Tenel Ka here this time. Actually... I like that. It flows a bit smoother here.

    And wow. Such tension and awesome action! Jacen dead... can't believe it. Well, I can... but it's still just so sad. :(

    Palps must die!
  7. TigerofRobare Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2006
    star 3
    Great update! Thanks for the PM. I like time travel stories (too many years of Star Trek and Doctor Who), but not writing them. I know enough real physics that trying to think about time drives me off the walls.

    I liked the trailer, but the images could have stayed on screen a little longer; I could hardly tell what I was seeing.
  8. CrazyAni Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2006
    star 4
    Wonderful! Palpatine's abilities unnerve me--he was strong enough to resist against four skilled Jedi, and he can't be killed...

    Poor Jacen. :( Jaina's anger is only too justified, even though we all know to what it can lead in the SW universe.

    Amazing update, and hope to get the next one soon!

    =D= =D= =D=

    CrazyAni

    PS: I'll edit my reply as soon as I've seen the trailer.:)
  9. piratedreamer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2006
    star 3
    :_| JACEN!!!!!!!!!

    That was so sad! I loved Jacen here, and now, now he's *dead*!:(

    Great job.=D= The chapter was so action packed and intense. I can only hope the time traveling will bring back Jacen. Oh, I like J/K here, and I'm more of a J/Z person anyway.:) Thanks for the PM.

    ~piratedreamer
  10. Darth-Semians Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2006
    star 2
    Just got away from work for a few minutes to say this: I was a follower of your earlier attempt at this story and I liked it, but I like this a hell of a lot more. You can really creat emotions with your words, incredible. =D= It makes me feel inadequate with my story, but then again, I am not really into it right now (there is more important things going on in my life right now).

    Can't wait until the Augustine scene.

    Darth-Semians

    [face_peace]
  11. Diamond_Revelation Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2003
    star 3
    This is a wonderful repost! I loved the emotion you portrayed when Jacen died. I am looking forward to the next bit!
  12. The_Slilent_One Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2004
    star 3
    add me to the pm list as well please :)
  13. Idrelle_Miocovani Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    NYCitygurl: Poor Jacen!!!

    Yes I know. :( But it was important for the story ? for several various reasons.

    I hate that he's dead; I like him here.

    You know what? I like Jacen too! :) Makes it all the worse that I had to kill him off. :(

    Well? at least you weren?t here for the original ? I killed Tahiri and Jacen and injured Tenel Ka all in one sweep. :p

    Are Jaina etc. going to be able to fix it?

    [face_raising_brow]

    Am I going to say? [face_whistling]

    Also, Palps = not cool

    Hey, I like my mean, slippery, TimeTravel!Palpy! :p

    G__Anakin: Thanks! :)

    Chilla: That's why I hope Jacen and Jaina won't fight against each other in LotF....

    I haven?t read LotF yet, but I know what you mean.

    Awesome chapter! *sniffs*

    Thanks!

    *sniffs too*

    ratna: Well!

    That was horrible!


    :eek: :eek:

    Just kidding. ;)

    Great writing. Horrible turn of events.

    Thanks. :D Yeah, things aren?t looking too particularly good right now, are they?

    I thought your description of Jaina's feelings at having now lost both of her brothers was particularly affecting.

    Thanks! That?s one of the things I wanted to make better in the new version ? in the original TTA, this battle sequence was sort of written from everyone?s point of view, so I didn?t allow myself too much of a chance to get inside Jaina?s head very much.

    LOVED your trailer. Please make it LONGER!!!

    [face_laugh] LOL!

    DarthJainaSolo: I love this story so much!

    Thanks! :) [face_blush]

    To be honest, I'm not a big Jaina/Kyp fan, but I'll make an exception here.

    Lol, I?m more of J/J person myself, but this just happens to have a bit of J/K here. My rules for Time Traveling would make it almost impossible for Jag to come along anyways. :p

    Jacen's dead...oh man, you had me in tears there.

    That?s what I was aiming for. :) I didn?t really want to kill Jacen off, but it was necessary.

    I can't wait until you update. Please PM me whenever you do.

    Sure thing!

    RK_Striker_JK_5: Hmm. No Tenel Ka here this time. Actually... I like that. It flows a bit smoother here.

    Yes, that?s what I thought myself. :p Did you notice the absence of Tahiri as well? Last time, it was just a bit too? busy, actually. Too many characters in the fight. And it seemed a bit implausible that the Queen Mother of Hapes would be there as well. 8-}

    And wow. Such tension and awesome action! Jacen dead... can't believe it.

    You can?t? ;)

    Well, I can... but it's still just so sad.

    Yes. :( I missing Jacen already.

    Palps must die!

    You can join the line of people who want to punch him in the face. :p

    TigerofRobare: Great update! Thanks for the PM.

    Thanks, and you?re welcome!

    I like time travel stories (too many years of Star Trek and Doctor Who), but not writing them.

    Lol! I?m sort of? the opposite. Note the ?sort of.? Outside fanfic time travel, my contact with the genre is limited to Doctor Who and The Time Machine. Oh and I think I saw Timeline once? it was a bit strange, I don?t really remember it. :p

    I know enough real physics that trying to think about time drives me off the walls.

    [face_laugh]

    I liked the trailer, but the images could have stayed on screen a little longer; I could hardly tell what I was seeing.

    Yeah, I have the same feeling. I could have slowed it down a bit, but some little voice was telling me that people don?t want to stare at a picture for very long, so I kind of sped it up. 8-} And I was trying to follow the music ? which can be a bit difficult. :p

    CrazyAni: Wonderful!

    Thanks!

    Palpatine's abilities unnerve me--he was strong enough to resist against four skilled Jedi, and he can't be killed...

    Yeah, well? *shrugs* There?s a reason for that. :p A fairly good reason, too. Not that TimeTravel!Palpy doesn?t scare me
  14. Idrelle_Miocovani Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    CHAPTER III
    Professor Augustine


    Suddenly, Luke stopped walking. ?There?s something up ahead,? he said quietly.

    Mara peered through the darkness. ?Who?s there?? she called.

    Someone appeared out of the gloom. He was very tall and slender and wore a long, dark cloak. A hood covered his head, making it impossible to tell what his face looked like. He held his pale hands clasped in front of him.

    ?Who are you?? Mara asked sharply.

    ?I am the Professor,? the man said slowly. His voice had a lilting quality to it, almost hypnotic in a way. ?You may call me Augustine,? he added.

    ?What do you want?? Mara asked suspiciously.

    ?Come with me,? the Professor replied quietly. There was no threat in his voice.

    ?Why?? Mara demanded.

    The Professor?s hooded head swerved to look at her. ?You and your companions have witnessed and survived something very important,? he said, his voice hardly more than a whisper. ?So important it is that the Galaxy could be destroyed. Now you must be the ones to fix it. Follow me. There is something I must tell you, but not here. The fate of the Galaxy may depend on it.?

    He turned and began to walk very slowly down the corridor.

    Jaina stood still, like her companions. Very little of what had just been spoken to her registered in her mind ? it was still filled with the sounds and images of Jacen falling, being struck by Palpatine?s lightsaber, and crashing to the ground? dead.

    ?Come!? the Professor?s voice rang out, a edge of annoyance in the single word.

    ?We should follow him,? Luke?s voice said.

    Jaina raised her head and looked at him dully. Why should I care what happens to the Galaxy? she thought. Her throat was burning; she trembled violently as she tried to suppress another round of sobs.

    Jacen?

    ?Why?? Han asked gruffly.

    ?Some knowledge he has,? Luke answered quietly. ?I can feel it through the Force. This? Professor may be able to help us.?

    Her uncle?s words drifted in and out. Jaina didn?t care; they could decide what they wanted to do, there was nothing for her here?

    ?Even if he turns out to be an enemy,? Luke?s voice continued, ?we still need to know. We need whatever it is he can offer. We must stop Palpatine.?

    At the mention of the Sith Lord?s name, Jaina?s head jerked upwards. ?Yes,? she growled. ?He killed Jacen.?

    Luke paused and looked straight at Jaina, meeting her eyes. Jaina sensed some form of worry in her uncle?s face.

    ?Kyp,? he said, ?look after her.?

    The tall Professor was waiting for them at the end of the corridor. They followed him down multiple halls, moving deeper into the fortress.

    The corridors were all the same ? made of metal, shrouded in gloom. Jaina?s mind was trying desperately to register something else besides the aching hole in her mind where the twin bond had been. She noticed, dully, that the Professor must be able to see in the dark as the green light from Luke?s lightsaber didn?t extend past him. However, this moment of curiosity was short lived. The world was empty without her brother in it ? there was nothing more to it than that.

    The halls twisted and turned. They came to stairs upon stairs, always descending. Time crept by slowly, but it seemed to go on forever. At last, the Professor opened a small door and it retracted into the ceiling to reveal a large, cavern-like chamber. There were no windows and it was dimly lit. In the centre stood a dais-like platform with a large, metal pillar rising from it, reaching towards the ceiling. Beside it was a black, throne-like chair, elegantly designed.

    They filed into the room silently. Jaina wandered away from the others, sitting down next to the dais. She shivered, even though she wasn?t cold ? for some strange reason, her skin was tingling. She glanced up at the pillar. There were strange markings engraved in its dulled surface. For a split second, her vision wobbled and a dark, swirling mass appeared in the place of the gigantic pillar. She blinked and it went back to normal.
  15. CrazyAni Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2006
    star 4
    I like Professor Augustine--he's mysterious and a nice add-up to the SW universe. I do wonder however who exactly he is and how he knows all the stuff about time-travel and the sinister paradoxes and side-effects.

    Palpatine is absolutely unstoppable in this universe. :eek: Oh yeah, they need Anakin!

    Loved the chemistry between the Skywalker and Solo family. They all are so enjoyable together.

    Wonderful update once again, Idrelle! Have fun on your trip, and I'd love to read the next chapter before HP7 comes out. ;)

    =D= =D= =D=

    CrazyAni
  16. jedikatie26 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2005
    star 1
    it is a great story so far
  17. piratedreamer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2006
    star 3
    Thanks for the PM!

    I loved this chapter, and I definately liked the mysterious Augustine. It's such a horrible cliffie to leave us with, though! I want to know what they find!!:p

    Great job and have fun on your trip!
  18. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    wooooooooo!

    the guardian of forever, on mustafar.

    and the grandfather paradox

    and pandora's box!

    very very cool
  19. Darth-Semians Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2006
    star 2
    You know, I still don't quite understand why he (Augustine) was calm while explaining the mission, why did he all of a sudden become anxious and nervous when Jiana and Kyp were about go leave?

    Have fun on your trip.

    Darth-Semians

    [face_peace]
  20. AP4EVER Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2005
    star 4
    This is rather refreshing reading it from the very start. I keep looking out for little bits that were modified or added. Nothing has stood out to me yet, though I could've overlooked.

    Can't wait to see what happens when/if they meet Grievous.:D
  21. Ultima_1 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 16, 2001
    star 5
    Great story so far.

    Could you add me to the PM list?
  22. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    I gotta say, this is my favorite chapter so far. You showed Jaina's emotions (and those of the other as well) really well. I like the way she reacted; it felt like her.

    I enjoyed learning what the Professor was saying. It was really interesting and attention-holding. It's good that Kyp and Jaina have started out -- now the really good part begins :D

    Yikes!! I'm not reading the original so as not to spoil myself :p
  23. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    Is it a good or bad thing I wanted Han to shoot Augustine in the kneecap? ;)

    No, seriously. Awesome writing all around. I just loathe the mysterious old man archatype who speaks in riddles. You wrote everyone well, though. I loved the whole 'If you go, so do I!' bit there. So Solo, so Skywalker and Horn and Durron. :D
  24. TigerofRobare Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2006
    star 3
    Wouldn't want those dragon-things appearing to correct paradoxes with no TARDIS to help, would we?
  25. piratedreamer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2006
    star 3
    Ooooo, I finally got to see the trailer, and I *loved* it! Great job.=D=
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