Three cheers for Magus Anton Szandor LaVey!

About 9 years ago, I hit that train wreck point in life. You know, the teen angst, the world crashing down upon you. I just didn't know what to make of anything. Then one day at lunch, I heard someone talking about LaVey's teachings and I decided to take it upon myself to look further into the subject. Well thank god for the Church of Satan, because heaven knows what I'd be doing with my life right now without them. For those of you skewed on the popular media-induced crap about the CoS, here are the 9 Satanic Statements from the Satanic Bible (it's a good beginning crash course on our basic beliefs):

"1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence!
2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams!
3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit!
4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!
5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!
6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires!
7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his ?divine spiritual and intellectual development,? has become the most vicious animal of all!
8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!"
9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!


Since becoming a follower of Satan, I've turned my life around for the better. Now *I'm* happy being me, for who I am. (Also I apologize if my personal beliefs offend anyone, but this is my religion and my Bible. r-e-s-p-e-c-t.)


I just thought I'd share this little life lesson with you all. Enjoy.

 

DEAR LORD, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. THE ONE TRUE GOD IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO FROM HERE, YOU ******* **. crazy *****. can we say *****? because thats the word i just starred out, which is totally ****ed (i know we cant say THAT word) up. so let me know whats up, slg. ok? END PARENTHESIS)


"The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth: 11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him. "

 

This falls under the category of UN-AMERICAN, a fringe element, subversives, and terrorism.
You are now part of the wider investigation.

 

America is about freedom of religion. You believe what you want to believe and it won't stop me from smiling knowingly every time I see this thread.

 

First, I get to judge what America is and what it is not. I also get to judge what is Un-American and what is Un-American is not (principally American.)
Second, America is a nation of GOD and religion. We've had some nice rhetoric but don't let the Puritans and the Pilgrims fool anyone.

So the final verdict is Un-American.
Nice try.

 

You're twenty-one. After you get out of your political diapers, I'll listen to what you think is Un-American.

 

Satan is smiling warmly at you right now.

 

Glad he is--fate isn't.

 

most political geniuses i know are 21 or younger. so i don't think your criteria counts.

 

Can't say I'm surprised to see you fitting right in with this thread.
But I'm not going to resort to personal attacks--it really isn't my style.

 

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth: 1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

 

By posting this thread, you are more or less asking for opinions.

 

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth: 3. When in another?s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

 

ATTN DEVILS:
Everything the Light touches is part of my kingdom. My domain has no borders or limits.
I'm invincible.

 

Me miserable! Which way shall I fly
Infinite wrath, and infinite despair?
Which way I fly is Hell; myself am Hell;
And in the lowest deep, a lower deep
Still threatening to devour me opens wide,
To which the Hell I suffer seems a Heaven.

One of my favourite books.

 

They made you memorize all that??

 

It's two lines.

 

Throughout the years of being religious, I've had to memorize the Rosary (I'm not Catholic, but I played a pro-life radical whose opening scene was her reciting the rosary), the Mormon Articles of Faith, the Standard of Truth, "My Missionary Commission," the Young Women's organization theme, etc.

 

This is soooooo Goth.

 

No it's not. *yawns*

 

Totally is.

 

The next time you try and open your mouth about what is goth, I'm kicking you from this house.

 

That was quite a goth thing for you to say, SLG.

 

I ****** love neogothic architecture.

 

Didn't you say there were twelve lines in total?