Before Through A Glass Darkly (Qui, Dooku, Palpatine, OC's.) Horror / Drama / Angst ~~ Updated 10/22~~

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jinngerbread, Oct 10, 2007.

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  1. Jinngerbread Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 2, 2007
    star 4
    Title: Through A Glass Darkly
    Author: Jinngerbread
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Dooku, Palpatine, OC's.
    Timeframe: Pre-JA. Qui-Gon is 17.
    Genre: A little of everything.
    Author Notes: I'm trying a little something different, experimenting in the horror, suspense, thriller feel in hoping to get myself really going and the creative juices flowing. This is my first try at anything really dark and suspenseful, so I hope you enjoy it! Special thank you to my padawan Ara-gon for the title :)





    All he could hear was his own breathing.

    He could feel the Darkness, pressing heavily on his chest, smothering him in near suffocation. Qui-Gon tried not to concentrate on it, even as it permeated the very air he breathed. There was always Light even when all else seemed lost.

    Wasn?t there?

    That?s what he had always been taught, and what he had been led to believe most of his life. The problem was, did he truly believe that now? He wasn?t sure, but he knew he had to rely on it. In any Darkness, no matter how thick, there was always a little Light.

    He heard the door open to his cell and his muscles tensed, every part of him waiting. "Hello?" he called nervously.

    No one answered.

    Still he waited, not moving, not speaking again, but only breathing. His own breath rasped loudly in his ears, sounding harsh and heavy. The Darkness was tightening its grip. Or was it his own imagination that made the Darkness personified as a live thing seeking to claim him?

    Was it possible he had imagined the door opening? Perhaps it was. The tightness in his chest did not ease. "Hello?" He called uncertainly.

    He twisted a little and the chains holding him to the ceiling clanked loudly, grating against each other.

    He felt the temperature in the room growing colder.

    Sweat that had been running down his back and sides began to freeze in its tracks, clinging to him.

    His heart began to thump harder against his chest, as the hair on the back of his neck prickled. His eyes darted around nervously, looking for the source of the temperature change, even in the blackness.

    He opened his mouth to call again, but before he could, he felt pressure on his throat. He began to gasp for breath even as the grip tightened. He couldn?t breathe?



    ?.couldn?t breathe?




    ?.couldn?t breathe?.




    Spots were beginning to form in his vision and his throat constricted even more, tightening off his meager supply of oxygen.



    Master!

  2. Ara-gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2005
    star 2
    Hooray! You postied! You already know how I love the suspense of this. I can't wait to see who's torturing Qui and how (if?) he escapes/gets rescued.
  3. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I have to wonder who's choking him and if it's even real. If he's under a spell, he might think he's having problems but not. Or it could be something else entirely. Great job. Put me on your PM list for this one.
  4. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    He twisted a little and the chains holding him to the ceiling clanked loudly, grating against each other.

    He felt the temperature in the room growing colder.

    Sweat that had been running down his back and sides began to freeze in its tracks, clinging to him.

    His heart began to thump harder against his chest, as the hair on the back of his neck prickled. His eyes darted around nervously, looking for the source of the temperature change, even in the blackness.

    He opened his mouth to call again, but before he could, he felt pressure on his throat. He began to gasp for breath even as the grip tightened. He couldn?t breathe?


    Oh! Definitely put me on the PM list! =D=
  5. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    Oh my goodness!:eek: You have to put me on the PM list for this! Very intriguing--great job!=D=
  6. Jinngerbread Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 2, 2007
    star 4
    Ara-gon How do you know who's torturing him is even there? ;) [face_batting]

    Dianethx It might be something else, then again it might not ;) Hopefully this post will have a few answers...maybe ;) I'll be happy to PM you :)

    VaderLVR Will do!

    Jedidas3 Thank you, I'll be happy to :D





    Chapter One: What The Gentleman Sees




    Faith is a fine invention
    When gentlemen can see,
    But microscopes are prudent
    In an emergency.
    ~Emily Dickinson, "Faith Is a Fine Invention," Poems, Second Series



    Dooku jerked awake.

    He had heard Qui-Gon?s cry, his padawan screaming for him through the bond. The Jedi Master listened carefully, but he could hear nothing else now from his padawan. What if he was dead? Tavis quickly accessed the Master / Padawan bond and discovered the boy was asleep, unaware of anything going on around him.

    But what if his mind was merely telling him what he wanted to hear?

    He knew well that one?s senses could be deceiving and he was not about to take the chance that such a thing was not occurring now. Ordinarily, a quick check through the bond would have been enough for Tavis, but considering the circumstances, he needed more confirmation.

    He slipped out of bed and put on a robe around his bare chest and shoulders, before he went to his padawan?s room and palmed the door. ?Lights on dim one,? he said in a low voice.

    It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to having any light after being in pitch darkness, before he made his way to Qui-Gon?s bed. He sat down on the boy?s bed, being mindful of the limbs and blankets that were hanging off, and was extra careful not to sit in any position that would disturb the sleeping youth. The boy was snoring lightly. He had for a long time now because of his broken nose. His gaze fell on his padawan?s chest. It rose and fell?.


    ?.rose and fell?.




    ?..rose and fell?.



    ?.rose and fell?.




    Stopped.




    He felt panic catching in his chest at not seeing his boy?s chest rise.

    His own heart rate shot up as the boy lay there, still and unmoving.

    Padawan breathe!


    He was leaning so closely as he watched, he was almost on top of the boy.

    The child finally let out a long, slow breath, a sigh, before turning over to face in the other direction.

    Tavis felt his heart rate begin to return to normal, albeit slowly.

    He looked around the room, taking in the decorations on Qui-Gon?s walls. Qui-Gon?s drawings covered much of the available space. His apprentice was a very talented artist and Tavis encouraged the boy to develop his talents and hone them. One never knew when different skills would be important.

    Also covering the walls were posters of various animals, diagrams of exotic botany and the like. On his shelves were odds and ends given to him by friends or picked up here and there on missions, and some from Tavis himself. Several weapons from around the galaxy were on display for Qui-Gon took after Tavis in that he admired elegance in other culture?s weapons and fighting styles. Old-fashioned blades made of durasteel, modern blades with varieties of different attachments and settings and more.

    This room was distinctly Qui-Gon?s.

    If nothing else, the avians and bugs chirping on the digital music box would convince him that this was where the boy slept. He rolled his eyes. The boy had a fondness for such sounds and found them very soothing. Tavis had to admit that they were, but that wasn?t what he wanted to fall asleep to at night.

    The sharp pain of worry in his chest began to ease.

    The horrible Darkness had all been a dream. Hadn?t it?

    What had caused the cry in his mind that he heard though? Had he heard his boy cry out in his dreams? He considered, glancing at the youth?s lanky frame in the bed, with his limbs sprawled every which way. ?What?re you dreaming about, child?? he asked softly.

    Qui-Gon stirred at his Master?s voice but slept on.

    He felt slightly foolish now for being so worked up over it, but it
  7. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Another option was that possibly the dream had been Qui-Gon?s and not his own. The Master/Padawan bond between them was strong. Maybe images were leaking through to him? The boy had seemed well enough, but what if he had merely fallen out of the dream when he had cried out?

    He frowned deeply at that thought.

    Was it truly just a dream or had it been a vision?

    If it wasn?t a dream and if it were a vision instead, he needed to proceed with great caution. The future was always in motion. A step here or there could alter things for the better or worse.

    He knew what he should do. He would seek the Force?s council and from there determine how to best proceed. The Master closed his eyes and began to draw the Force around him.

    The Force would provide guidance.

    He was certain of it.


    Bad dream. Shudder. [face_worried]

    Great post! =D=
  8. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Sounds like a nightmare that Qui-Gon shared with Dooku.

    Another option was that possibly the dream had been Qui-Gon?s and not his own. The Master/Padawan bond between them was strong. Maybe images were leaking through to him? The boy had seemed well enough, but what if he had merely fallen out of the dream when he had cried out?

    He should be careful that the dream doesn't become reality.

    Good job.
  9. Cole_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2005
    star 2
    Ooh, this is so interesting. I really enjoy your writing style. You say much in very little space.

    The story has a very omnious feel about it without it being blunt. Which is neat. lol I havn't read Padawan Qui-gon, so I guess I'm in for a treat. It's hard for me to picture a younger Dooku also, lol. But this story is very nice. I shall be excited when it the next update comes! PM please! :D
  10. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    Great start so far =D= - I love it.
    Very creepy!

    Could you please PM me when you update? :)
  11. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    I got to read this yesterday, but didn't have a chance to reply. Sorry about that! Anyway, I'm really enjoying this story. I like your writing style and the way you draw your readers into the mind of the characters. Great job!=D=
  12. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Interesting start indeed :) so this is where you're using 'Tavis' at?
    Now it has Dooku wondering what it was all about, hmm? Oh the wonders of wondering!

    [face_mischief] Guess we'll find out soon enough juz what it was, eh?

    [:D] Can't wait for more (do add me to your PMs)!
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