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Before - Legends Thunderous Wrath (Best Child and Best Villian 2010) Updated 4/12/11

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Raphire, Sep 13, 2009.

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  1. Raphire

    Raphire Jedi Knight star 4

    Dec 19, 2008
    Qui-gon heart nearly stopped as he left the room in search of his padawan. A large clump of students had gathered in a semi-

    circle around one of the holding cells. Blood glistened on the floor and Master Yoda was knelling by a crumpled body. Qui-

    gon?s head started to reel as he felt the aura of panic rising from the crowd and he bolted across the hall. The throng

    quickly parted as he pushed his way to the front and Yoda slowly rose to his feet.

    ?Not dead is he, live to see another day he will.? Qui-gon sighed with relief as he heard those words and then his heart

    seized again as he saw the body. Mace, not Obi-wan, lay at his feet. A large hole in his tunic exposed gaping wound in his

    side. On his left lay a pair of wire cutters, Mace?s blood was smeared up to their handles. The abrasion was already

    becoming infected and it had taken on a ghastly hue. Mace?s side wasn?t his only injury either. His head had a large

    throbbing knot that was split down the middle. The blood had stopped flowing however and now the white blood cells formed a

    clear liquid that dripped from the wound. Qui-gon had other things on his mind though; he still had

    no sense of his apprentice?s whereabouts. It was like he was being blocked out or something very similar. As far as he knew

    only one Sith had the power to block Force presences and he should have been wiped out a long time ago. Back during the era

    of the Reign of Two, with the rest of his Sith kindred. He had to be dead, Darth Bane had made sure of that. But still he

    was positive his apprentice wasn?t dead so what other option did he have? Qui-gon strained his mind as far as he could;

    trying to sense his apprentice and ten minutes later he succeeded. A slight impression of a dream flickered across Qui-

    gon?s mind. Obi-wan was unconscious. Qui-gon relaxed a little and searched the temple for his apprentice?s slight presence.

    He concentrated. Obi-wan was not in the lunch area. Qui-gon?s mind reached out as far as it could. He went up past the

    rooms shared by masters and apprentices, searching each one for even the slighted nudge from his apprentice. Up past the

    council room, He sincerely doubted he would find his apprentice there but he still looked. Qui-gon jerked backwards and

    smashed his head against the wall. Obi-wan?s aura lit up in his mind. Fear! Absolute panic! And then Qui-gon knew where he

    would find Obi-wan. In the last place he?d expect, on top of the Jedi Temple hanging by the lightning rod.

    Khi-Lech Jori slowly browsed the windows of any and every near by shop. Window shopping, just like any other citizen of the

    Republic would on a Saturday morning.

    Occasionally he would duck inside a store and pick up an item he liked. If it was a good price he would buy it and put it

    in a small knapsack with his other personal items. So far he had gotten a grooming kit for his untamed beard and hair,

    soap, and a good book. The only thing missing from his purchases was a weapon for self-defense. And as expensive as those

    could be, it was fortunate that he?d brought one of his own.

  2. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Sep 16, 2005
    Good, Mace lives. But Obi? Will he save himself? Will Qui save him?

    Questions, questions, questions.
  3. GlindaForJediCouncil

    GlindaForJediCouncil Jedi Youngling star 1

    Nov 21, 2009
    Mace seems pretty badly injured, but Yoda's always right so I'm glad he'll be ok, *shudder* must be nasty to have been hurt with wire clippers...

    How does Qui-Gon plan on getting Obi-wan?

    I can't wait for the next post!

    Oh! And put me on the PM list please :)
  4. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2004
    I trust Yoda, if he says Mace will live then he will.

    I hope he feels the same way about Obi hanging from the roof.

    hurry qui-Gon get to him before it's too late.:eek:

    Who is the shopper?[face_thinking]

    Exciting post.=D=
  5. HelloKelly

    HelloKelly Jedi Youngling star 3

    Nov 12, 2009
    Wow! Who was that guy? He gives me a bad feeling inside.

    I hope Obi-wan is rescued soon!

    Thanks for the PM and please update soon!
  6. Raphire

    Raphire Jedi Knight star 4

    Dec 19, 2008
    Update coming. Hopefully by wednesday. If not then friday.
  7. Raphire

    Raphire Jedi Knight star 4

    Dec 19, 2008
    Ok! Update! But I apollogise in advance if it isn't as good as the others. I fell asleep really late late night. Last time I looked at the clock it said two and then I purposely didn't look at it so I wouldn't know the actual amount of sleep I got.

    Valairy_Scot And unfortunetely, I can't tell you the answers to those yet. Allthough this post will bring out some more!

    GlindaForJediCouncil I will definitely do that. Hope you enjoy this post as well.;)

    Gkilkenny Sorry. No Obi-wan this post. You will however find out more about him! Thank you!

    HelloKelly Lol. Your wellcome and here's your update!
  8. Raphire

    Raphire Jedi Knight star 4

    Dec 19, 2008
    As he sat there at his desk Kent Kotch decided today was the single most boring day in his entire life. He wished something

    would happen! So far today he?d counted all the hat wearing ladies as they came in against the bare headed ones. And the

    ratio was that 3/5s of the ladies now days preferred their heads unadorned. Then he made up back-stories for all the people

    who came in, until lunch. As of today, the hotel he worked at now had twelve escape convicts, two sexy senators, three

    intergalactic spies, and the pregnant wife of Chancellor Papletine all staying in their rooms! And all this before lunch

    too! After he?d finished his lunch break, he contemplated writing his memoirs and after that, his will. Then he made up a

    genius storyline for a book, but knew he would never get around to writing it. He was just in the middle of reciting every

    line in his favorite holo-drama when he got his wish. Something interesting happened. At first he barely noticed the

    scraggly man walk in. There always was variety of bums sleeping in their foyer anyway, so one more didn?t make a

    difference. The thing that finally caught his attention was not the limp that was very prominent as the hobo crossed the

    room, but the flash of metal in the man?s coat and the blaster sized lump it made. As the man approached the desk his hand

    went to his pocket and with each step he took, the hand crept deeper inside. Fear filled the poor receptionist?s eyes as

    the stranger drew closer and yet he couldn?t help but feel a little sorry for him. But the feeling of sorrow quickly

    disappeared as he took in the man?s appearance. The bum?s hair was a tangled sweaty mass and he reeked of sweat and urine.

    Blood covered the man?s pants and dripped down to stain his shoes. ?A room for one.? The man said in a rumbling voice as

    he limped up to the counter. ?Y-yes, Sir-r.? Kent stuttered trying to sound casual. ?Here y-you go sir. R-room 212.? The

    man gently took the key and then in a very gentlemanly fashion placed the appropriate amount of money on the desk. He then

    turned and hobbled away. But not towards the lift, no he went to the stairs. And with a look daring them to tell him

    otherwise climbed up the four flights of stairs.

    Khi-Lech slowly made his way to his room and made scoped out the set of the room as he went and locked himself into the

    bathroom. Upon shutting the door, he gently pealed off his pants. As the pants made their way down past his thighs they

    caught on something. Khi-Lech threw back his head in agony and gritted his teeth. But he did not stop; he continued to pull

    his pants down further. Then the object gave way quickly followed by a sharp pain that lanced up his leg. Then with nothing

    holding them up, the pants fell to the ground with a dull thump. A huge gash crusted in pus dripped blood down his leg. He

    sat himself gingerly down on the toilet seat and got out some alcohol to sanitize the wound. As he looked closer a realized

    the gash actually went all the way through his upper calf. In a strange way he had an urge to lift his leg up and try to

    look at the door through the jagged hole. But instead he opened a nice bottle of Corealian Ale, took a swig for a little

    liquid bravery, and then before he had a chance to chicken out dumped the contents onto his leg. His whole body seized

    forward and he fell of the seat. Then he curled into a fetal ball as every single cut on his leg let him know exactly where

    they were. Slowly the pain began to fade and his smaller cuts slowly faded to a dull burn. He crawled over to the sink and

    slowly got to his feet. He looked in the mirror and gasped at the sight. One eyes was blackened and the other had huge bags

    under it. Dried blood was smeared in a streak from his nose to his ear but was crudely covered by quite a few days growth.

    Maybe a week?s worth? Was he stuck in there for that long? After a long look at himself, Khi-Lech staggered over to the

    shower and turned it on. He qu
  9. HelloKelly

    HelloKelly Jedi Youngling star 3

    Nov 12, 2009
    Very Good! I thought it was a little rambling at the beginning but it was interesting non the less. Plus the second part more than made up for it. =D=
  10. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2004
    I wonder why he took the stairs instead of the lift he seemed to be in a great deal of pain.

    A nice shower would make him feel better.=D=
  11. GlindaForJediCouncil

    GlindaForJediCouncil Jedi Youngling star 1

    Nov 21, 2009
    And the plot thickens... Very good post =D=
    Can't wait for the next!
  12. Raphire

    Raphire Jedi Knight star 4

    Dec 19, 2008
    Finals are over! So I'll be posting the update soon!
  13. Raphire

    Raphire Jedi Knight star 4

    Dec 19, 2008
    Qui-gon took the stairs as fast as he could; desperately hoping his apprentice?s grip would

    last. Obi-wan had never had a strong grip. Qui-gon couldn?t count the times his Padawan had

    lost his lightsaber in a sparring match because of the weakness of his grasp. It hadn?t

    seemed so important up till now. Looking back he wished he?d spent less time berating and

    arguing with him and more time training. As he ran a loud rumble came from above.


    Obi-wan could feel his Master drawing steadily closer and that thought comforted him more

    then he?d ever thought it would. He agreed that he and his master had their share of

    fights, but when it came down to it, there was no one he?d rather have coming to his rescue

    then Qui-gon. Granted he could be bossy and impatient, but Obi-wan had to admit that right

    now he?d prefer a reckless rescue then one that arrived to late. Then Obi-wan made one of

    the worst mistakes of his life. He ignored his surroundings and relaxed. His master was

    coming for him and pretty soon he?d be back in his bed, fast asleep. A drop landed on his

    head. He could just imagine it. Two more drops dripped onto his chin. Qui-gon would be

    right there next to him and he?d watch over him for the rest of the night. He?d be safe.

    The more he thought about it though the more amazing it sounded. The warm soft bed, a

    comfortable pillow, and a blanket to lie across his chest. With thoughts of sleep in his

    head, he barely noticed himself slip down a half an inch. The pole had grown slippery with

    water and his hands were sliding down the pole. He?d grabbed on pretty close to the base

    anyway but if his hands reached the bottom, gravity would take over and start spreading his

    hands along the base, weakening his grip even more. Then Bang! The door slammed open

    and Qui-gon barged through. Obi-wan?s eyes snapped open and a grin burst from his lips.

    Then, contact. It was gravity?s turn now.

    Master Yoda stood quietly outside the med room and waited. His friend?s fate was out of his

    hands now. He?d been there with Mace for almost all of his life. No one knew him better and

    now he was stuck. Stuck outside in what could be the last moments of his best friend?s

    life. He held back a sigh and searched for any crack in the screen. Something he could look

    through. He was desperate for just one look at his dear friend. He had to know Mace was ok.

    But no, he had to rely on the Healer?s wisdom for the time being. It was just so hard! When

    he?d brought Mace in, they weren?t even sure if he would last the next hour much less the

    night. Now three hours later, Mace was just the same as before. They had placed him in a

    coma at first until they could perform the operation. He?d lost so much blood that they

    didn?t dare operate on him until they could get some more. Finally they found someone his

    blood type and species. Luckily the man was on Coruscant so it only took an hour or so to

    get him here. They tried to stable him as much as they could before the surgery, but his

    body was rejecting the bacta treatments. They?d learned that the hard way. While they

    waited for the blood to take, someone had suggested a Bacta bath. Of course Master Yoda was

    left out of the loop. Mace had started seizing two minutes in. And now all that was left to

    do was to wait, something that a Jedi should be able to do without a problem. But right now

    it had never seemed so hard.

  14. Ceillean

    Ceillean Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Nov 13, 2001
    I'm betting both Mace and Obi-Wan will be okay. With a few more bruises here and there but they'll make it.

    Right? [face_worried]
  15. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2004

    Then, contact. It was gravity?s turn now.

    Oh dear, Obi-Wan concentrate and don't loose your grip. We don't want a splattered Obi-Wan.:oops:

    Come-on Qui-Gon, you have long arms reach out and grab him before he falls.[face_worried]

    excellent =D=
  16. HelloKelly

    HelloKelly Jedi Youngling star 3

    Nov 12, 2009
    Hi! I'm back! Doesn't it just thrill you that your story is the first story I look at after this probation!
  17. Raphire

    Raphire Jedi Knight star 4

    Dec 19, 2008
    Ok. Sorry for not posting but I was unavoidably absent from the computer so I will get you the next update soon!
  18. Raphire

    Raphire Jedi Knight star 4

    Dec 19, 2008
    So I'm really upset about how short this one turned out to be but here it is.

    The gloom was overwhelming. Days mixed into nights and time lost all meaning. Privacy was thing of the past and all

    sense of dignity had been stripped from him. Within days of his arrival, he became an empty shell. Jedi had a way of

    doing that to a person. A Ysalamiri sat just outside of the doorway and Khi-Lech had never felt so alone. He was at the

    Temple, that much he knew. They?d gotten him as he came out of his home. Suspicion of fraud they?d said and so he went

    with them. But no investigation was made and the people who?d arrested him weren?t officers. They were Sith Killers. They

    went under the guise of Jedi, but Khi knew what they really were. He?d been around long enough to see what they?d done to

    his crèche mates. They were murdered in their own temple. The children and the adults alike. But not the babies, never

    the babies. They were taken to Coruscant for conditioning. And he was the only witness. The door swung open with a groan

    and Khi slowly looked up at one of his many captors. A bald male in a brown tunic stared back at him. He knew this man.

    Not just from his archives either, best swordsman in all history, maker of the seventh style of combat it said. But no,

    he had a personal past with this man. A sneer lifted the man?s lips. This would be fun.

    Water ran over Khi-Lech?s face and chest. His head throbbed as he slowly sat up. He was still in the shower. He blinked

    blurrily around and stood shakily to his feet. The blood had ceased pouring from his body and he felt cleaner then he?d

    felt in a long time.

    He stepped from the shower, up to the mirror, and pulled his hair back from his face. He looked truly hideous. He ran his

    fingers through the tangled mass he called a beard and wondered if he would scare the kids more with or without it.

    Without, he finally decided and turned away. He?d shave after he?d healed a little. He glanced around for his clothes and

    only saw a bloody mess of rags near the toilet. So with a sigh he left his foggy haven and moved into his bedroom. He

    quickly retrieved a change of clothes and was about to put them on when he noticed something unusual? He had a knife

    sticking out of his thigh.

  19. GlindaForJediCouncil

    GlindaForJediCouncil Jedi Youngling star 1

    Nov 21, 2009
    He quickly retrieved a change of clothes and was about to put them on when he noticed something unusual? He had a knife sticking out of his thigh.

    That made me laugh, I think I'm really starting to like this character :)

    Good post
  20. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2004
    His head throbbed, I wonder why he didn't feel the knife in his thigh.o_O
    That had to hurt.:_|

    Good job.=D=
  21. HelloKelly

    HelloKelly Jedi Youngling star 3

    Nov 12, 2009
    Wow. That was a good post! Can't wait for the next bit!
  22. Raphire

    Raphire Jedi Knight star 4

    Dec 19, 2008
    GlindaForJediCouncil Lol. Thanks!

    Gkilkenny Yeah I think it was too many different wounds he couldn't actually distinguish one from another. Plus people always seem to notice when their heads hurt.

    HelloKelly Thanks! And here it is! Sorry it took so long.
  23. Raphire

    Raphire Jedi Knight star 4

    Dec 19, 2008
    Khi-Lech stared at his wound for seemed like eternity. How could he have had this in him the whole time and not notice?

    The knife was firmly imbedded in his thigh, halfway up and it looked like it had barely missed an artery. The slightest

    jostle could have killed him. He thought back to his black out in the bathroom and shuddered. It was a miracle he was

    alive. Khi-Lech slowly sat down on his bed and stared at his wound; contemplating the procedure he was about to perform.

    It would be difficult, but he could pull it off with a little luck. He craved something to take an edge off the pain but

    knew he had to have all of his faculties to do this properly. He sighed and after a moments thought he turned to dig

    through his bag. He pulled out a piece of fruit and let out a small chuckle. He?d planned to eat it later but now he had

    a better use for it. He slowly crammed it into his mouth and prepared to bite down. Now he needed a rag. He glanced at

    his clothes and shook his head. He only had that pair and he couldn?t afford to soil them. He glanced down as blood oozed

    from his various wounds and dripped down to stain the towel wrapped around his waist. At this point he couldn?t stain it

    any worse so he gently pulled it away from his body. He winced as it rubbed against a large gash on his hip but continued

    on. He placed the towel on his knee and steeled himself for the next bit. His hand trembled as he reached out for the

    hilt of the knife. A muffled gasp came from around the blockage in his mouth as his hand grasped the hilt. In one smooth

    motion he pulled his hand away and brought the towel into position. His head arched back and a muffled scream escaped his

    mouth. In a matter of seconds the blood was pouring from around the towel. The amount of blood was alarming and Khi-Lech

    knew he hit the artery. His mind raced as he watched his life blood leave his body in a torrent and he did the only thing

    he could think of. He fell into a Jedi trance.

    In a flash his world changed. Gone were the walls and ceiling of his apartment and in their place were the long corridors

    of his veins. He watched as his red blood cells spiral down his veins at high speeds. He followed them in swift pursuit

    and watched as his anatomy flashed by. He could see bacteria crawling through a large cut along his right pectoral muscle

    and watched as his white blood cells tried to push them back. A loud rhythmic pounding thundered in his ears and he could

    see his chest expand and retract as his body breathed in short fast gasps. Vibrations shook the walls of his mind as his

    stomach cried out for the food that was so tantalizingly close inside his mouth. A flash of green flowed into Khi-Lech?s

    mind quickly followed by the sweet tang of the fruit on his tongue. He watched as he was pulled along by a stream of

    blood down a large artery and came to a huge rent on one of its walls. He told the red blood cells to clot and slowly but

    surely they did. He focused on the white blood cells and told them what to do. He gently coaxed as much exertion from

    them as physically possible and in time he could tell a large difference in the size of the cut. Khi-Lech?s eyes slowly

    cracked open and he sat up. His head spun as the blood rushed into it and he felt dizzy. He glanced down and grinned at

    his accomplishment. The blood had stopped flowing and what had been a fatal wound now looked like a shallow gash. He

    laughed out loud with euphoria. He suddenly felt like walking!

  24. HelloKelly

    HelloKelly Jedi Youngling star 3

    Nov 12, 2009
    Yikes! I really liked your Jedi Meditation bit! Great update!
  25. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2004
    Those Jedi trances certainly help to heal them quickly, lucky the wound stopped bleeding.[face_sick]

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