Saga Thwarted Fate | (Clone Wars AU. Anakin; Padmé; Obi-Wan; Ferus; Barriss; Dooku.)

How sad I feel for those two, but they have dug their own graves and now they'll have to lay in them. (Well that was sorta morbid... sorry about that! ) You know what I mean

Great update! Loved the break down of the description of the two (back and forth). (sorry if I don't make any sense, haven't slept much and haven't found me a dew for this morn as of yet )

 

reasons why I hate Anakin: he can't control himself, he can't think of anything except the almighty (me! I! myself! feelings!) and he doesn't even have the resolve to leave.

Yep, one of his big flaws is his inability to ultimately control himself. But it's not for lack of trying here - both his and Padme's internal struggles were masterfully rendered, I think. You could make the argument that Padme's motives aren't exactly altruistic either: she went to the ceremony though she knew logically she shouldn't have, and now she feels guilty about Anakin's pain and doesn't want that on her conscience anymore. Call Anakin selfish, but he's hardly alone in being guilty of that.

As far as the resolve to leave - well, the chapter's not finished yet, is it? He is trying, alas, and of course Padme would be able to make him at least question that resolve - if she wasn't, he wouldn't be Anakin. Spot-on characterization.

And as far as thinking of only his own feelings? Padme did break his heart, told him repeatedly to keep out of her life, and here she is suddenly begging to talk to him - so of course he's going to be confused. I think it's pretty understandable that Anakin's angry. Sensible? Maybe not, but how often his love sensible? (How often is Anakin sensible? Part of why I do love him, but YMMV.) He's already very passionate by nature, and he's been angry for a while. And unfortunately, another of Anakin's flaws is that he tends to try to bury/suppress his feelings, not control them or deal with them healthily. He's had no real outlet. So it's just been sitting, eating at him, waiting for the chance to come out. And here it comes.

And Padme, begging him not to... way to get a creepy, abusive, dysfunctional relationship started

Padme's not begging to resume things with him, she's begging him to talk to her. Padme's in "fix" mode now, and if there's anything that drives her, it's that damn fixing urge. Especially with people she cares about. If Padme has a fatal flaw, it's that she's just completely able to sit or stay uninvolved even when academically she knows she probably should. We'll see how that pans out here.

Dysfunctional I might grant you, though I've long thought one of the big tragedies of A/P is that any issues these two have could have been ultimately been dealt with healthily in the end if they were allowed to have their relationship out in the open. Creepy? That's subjective, though I don't particularly agree there either. But I've never gotten the abuse criticism, honestly. Even in canon, the only time ever physically or verbally attacked her was on Mustafar. Where she was already leaving him. Up to that point, he wasn't exactly smacking her around or calling her names; not even close. Nor is that going on here: the Anakin on Mustafar wouldn't have felt the slightest remorse at grabbing her wrist too hard.

Though ultimately? I think it says even more about the quality of writing in this story that both lovers and haters of Anakin alike can marvel at the impressive characterization work done here.

That addressed... I'm absolutely spellbound by the intricate depth of plotting and characterization and detail in this story. Not just the main movie characters, but peripherals like Ferus the Twit and Barriss. It's gotten to a point where I almost can't make it through my Thursday without another dose of TF!

Sorry for lurking so long, leia.

-- Aeryn

 

Long time no see, Alderaan... Glad to see you stopping by. You know I whole-heartedly agree with you on A/P not being a creepy relationship...


Leia,

You're very welcome... I'm always so grateful you keep posting this story after this long break AND you actually post very regularly.

This chapter truly delivered. I wasn't expecting the reunion to go this way, especially on Anakin's part because I never thought he would turn all his anger and emotions against Padmé of all people... but you know what? It made perfect sense. The whole chapter was raw and intense and completely in character given the way Anakin changed and became even more tormented as time passed by. I found the way he couldn't expose his heart again and wouldn't believe Padmé wanted to become closer very realistic. And I really liked the fact we got to see the closing off process through Padmé's eyes because she truly knows him, right?



From the desperation in her eyes he drew a horrible sort of satisfaction.

?How may I be of service, Senator??

Like he intended, his cold, formal address made her flinch. Her hands clenched and unclenched. ?Anakin, please.?

He smiled joylessly. ?As a Jedi, it is my sworn duty to render help to those in need.?

Again, I am both horrified and fascinated to see Anakin use with Padmé the same tactic (taunt and hurt with words) he used with Ferus and even Barriss.

Grief welled up in the brown pools of her eyes and Anakin fell silent at once. Whatever lengths he had planned on carrying his façade of cruel indifference, they ended at the sight of her pain.

Well-done with the nuancing. I like the fact we see this from Anakin.


?Don?t you lie to me!? he roared.

Ooh, reminds me of something... That's when I got worried about Padmé...

He had rounded on her, backed her up against the wall before he had even realized what he was doing. ?You knew you were going to hurt me! You counted on it. It was your plan, wasn?t it? Hurt the silly little Jedi boy until he?s ?over? you. Wasn?t it? Wasn?t it?? He smashed his metal hand into the wall beside her head.

?No!? Padmé shouted. ?No! It was never like that!?

Intense. I started getting scared of Anakin actually.

?I wanted you to let go, yes! But not by manipulation or lies. You read my letter. I never hid my feelings for you. I never pretended not to care!?

And of course Padmé doesn't back up. I like that, she may be a little scared of Anakin's behavior but she doesn't back up. Quite invalidates the whole 'abused wife' scenario.

That letter was on him even now, pounding against his left breastbone. He carried it everywhere.

Such attention to details! Broke my heart. And made me think of a kind of twisted jappor snippet.

She moved faster than Anakin thought possible and before he realized it, she was between him and his escape, her hands curled into his tunic. He tried to pull away but she held fast. Desperately, he turned his face away but it was already too late. The knot had dissolved and a single tear rolled itself down his cheek. He let out a despairing sob.

Scratch that, this broke my heart. I'm glad she didn't relent. Poor Anakin...


?Anakin, you?re hurting me!? Her voice was barely a whisper. The very stillness of it was more telling than a shout.

He saw the fear in her eyes then and his eyes went to her wrist which he was seconds away from breaking in his metal grip. Appalled, he let her go at once.

You know I could totally see this scene with OT!Darth Vader...

The Force was a tumultuous, explosive riot of pain, love and fear between them. It blurred the line where his feelings ended and hers began.

I could feel the intensity myself...

I'm so glad he didn't leave in the end. Some things remain to be said, I believe...

You know you're reading a great story when you stop while reading the fic and reread some parts just to savor the whole story. I do that with this fic and especially with this chapter.

I can't w

 

I am agog. My eyes were wide and my jaw was on the floor throughout the entire update.

That letter was on him even now, pounding against his left breastbone. He carried it everywhere. A reminder of broken promises and shattered dreams. A reminder that he?d have to be a fool to trust her ever again.

I can't even say this broke my heart, because I was bruised and bleeding from the last chapter. All I could think about was that letter pressed up against his heart all the times Anakin threw himself recklessly from one situation to another.

You guys are spoiling me. I admit I still have hope for Anakin and Padmé. I don't know how happy their ending will be but they do love each other. Even with all the pain, the hurt, the anger, and the frustration, they love each other. I hold on to that.

Intense and very well done. I'm looking forward to the second part.

bran

 

Vivid_Scripts: All of Anakin's weaknesses are so perfectly written here. Amazing job, you three! | Thanks! Glad you?re enjoying it so far. The meltdown is going to get worse before it gets better. Or do we mean the opposite? ||| he can't think of anything except the almighty (me! I! myself! feelings!) and he doesn't even have the resolve to leave. | Ouch! Poor Anakin. He?s selfish when he asserts himself and he?s a wimp when he doesn?t. ||| way to get a creepy, abusive, dysfunctional relationship started| Started? Are you sure about that?


GeneralKenobi7: Padme can't decide what she wants, can she? | She knows what she wants, all right. It?s deciding to go after it or not that is the problem. ||| Still it's sad | *sniffs* Thanks for the feedback!


Kynstar: How sad I feel for those two, but they have dug their own graves and now they'll have to lay in them. (Well that was sorta morbid... sorry about that! ) | Are you kidding? We love morbid! ||| Great update! Loved the break down of the description of the two (back and forth). | Thanks! This is one of those times we wish we could write the story from a shifting perspective so that we could really go into their minds during this conversation. ||| (sorry if I don't make any sense, haven't slept much and haven't found me a dew for this morn as of yet ) | Gosh, we hope you got some proper sleep after this! Thanks for the feedback!


Alderaan21: Hi, you!

|||both his and Padmé?s internal struggles were masterfully rendered, I think. | ||| You could make the argument that Padmé?s motives aren't exactly altruistic either: | We really liked reading your insight into Padmé?s side of things. ||| Padmé did break his heart, told him repeatedly to keep out of her life, and here she is suddenly begging to talk to him ? He's had no real outlet. So it's just been sitting, eating at him, waiting for the chance to come out. And here it comes.| Oooh! We?re so glad you spotted that. Everything since the start of this volume, since, in fact, Anakin?s resolve at the end of volume 1 to be a ?Perfect Jedi? has (hopefully) been leading up to this moment. ||| If Padmé has a fatal flaw, it's that she's just completely able to sit or stay uninvolved even when academically she knows she probably should. We'll see how that pans out here. |

I've long thought one of the big tragedies of A/P is that any issues these two have could have been ultimately been dealt with healthily in the end if they were allowed to have their relationship out in the open. | One of the reasons why we wanted to write (and someday finish ) this story was to explore that concept from the opposite angle: what if instead of a relationship that was being eaten up by being kept secret from everyone else, A/P decided (well Padmé decided but still?) not to have a relationship at all, not to live a lie. Would that be better for them as individuals or for the galaxy? What about in the short term or in the long term? Clearly, we?ve far from finished answering that question. |||

I think it says even more about the quality of writing in this story that both lovers and haters of Anakin alike can marvel at the impressive characterization work done here. | |||

It's gotten to a point where I almost can't make it through my Thursday without another dose of TF! | That?s the idea! ||| Sorry for lurking so long, leia.| Are you kidding? Thanks for such an awesome review! Lurking is definitely to be recommended if it causes you to burst out with such detailed feedback on occasion.

Padlei: I'm always so grateful you keep posting this story after this long break AND you actually post very regularly. | NOOOO! DON?T EVER SAY THAT! IT?LL JINX EVERYTHING! |||

*calms down*

*waves at people looking at the crazy lady in front of the PC*

 

Chapter 16, A Jedi's Reward, part 2

Padmé?s breath came in ragged gasps. Her own tears had stopped but they might as well have been flowing for all the devastation that flooded her very soul. For a moment, Amidala struggled, grasping to reclaim the indifferent façade of the Ice Queen. But it had melted long ago, long before this meeting, long before she had made the decision to see him, long before they had met at Ohma D?Un. Maybe it had happened on a windy overlook in the Coruscant capitol.

I?m so tired of being strong.

She gazed at Anakin, saw his spirit, his courage, his passion, his utter and unwavering devotion to her. Even now. Even after everything. He was unmistakable, undeniable. She wandered how she had ever thought she could live without him.

?Have you forgotten why I am here, Senator?? He asked suddenly. He didn?t open his eyes.

More tears threatened at his impersonal use of her title and she forced them back. No more tears, Padmé!

He was still speaking, ?We?re in a war, Senator, a war where people are dying. The Jedi. My friends. Innocent people. They call me the Hero without Fear.? He laughed bitterly. ?I?m no hero, Padmé.? He opened his eyes and the self-deprecation in them made her flinch. ?Do you think I risk my life for the Republic? For the Jedi? This award? This medal of honor?? In a sudden motion, he tore it from around his neck. It clattered loudly on the floor.

I know why you risk your life, Anakin. It?s the same reason I do.

Padmé moved away from the wall, coming to stand between Anakin and the fireplace. The fire was hot against her back, but the heat radiating off Anakin was infinitely more intense.

?Do you think I don?t understand??

He didn?t speak or move, his eyes pointedly staring over her shoulder.

?I too have fought this war in my own way. For the Republic, for justice and peace.? Padmé laughed, short and bitter. ?To do that I am changing ? no, I have changed into something? something I don?t want to be. Something that I hate. I hurt people because I?m hurting inside. I push on because to look back would be to give into despair. And then I ask myself if I am making any difference? If there is really a higher purpose to what I do or if I make-believe there is to justify the suicide of my soul. I ask myself: How can I fight for peace for others when I have none within myself??

His eyes shifted. A shadow of the old empathy, the old sense of complete understanding shone in that familiar blue gaze.

Padmé didn?t see it. Her head was bowed, defeated. This was a mistake. Yoda had been wrong, completely utterly wrong. She had hurt him beyond hope of mend. Anakin would never, ever forgive her.

?I never meant to hurt you,? she whispered. ?I hope you?ll find it in your heart to one day forgive me.?

Much as she struggled against them, more tears ? stupid, foolish, belated tears of weakness ? were already seeping past her lids. She thought she had felt pain like this before when she sent him away from her. She was wrong.

Gently, his hand closed around hers.

---

[/blockquote]

[i]Anakin, just let her go. End this. End this now. [/i]

It wasn?t even Obi-Wan?s voice speaking reason in his mind. It was Anakin?s own voice, the voice of fear, the voice of a man that had known first hand what it felt like to have the woman before him take his heart in her hands and crush it into infinitesimal pieces.

So why did not he not heed it?

Obi-Wan had once tried to make him understand the purpose of this War. What Obi-Wan had not realized was that he, Anakin, understood more than even Master Yoda. There was only one thing worth saving, one thing worth fighting for ? saving those he loved. First his mother, then Padmé. If he let Padmé go now, then the Hero without Fear would never really have anything worth saving. Only one question burned in him at this moment? if Padmé was willing to be saved? [i]could[/i] h

 

Sorry for taking so long to post a reply on the chapters I missed out on!

He smashed his metal hand into the wall beside her head.

Scary. That is abusive behaviour in my opinion, because smashing his hand beside her implies he could hurt her. I get that Anakin is not abusive in general. But that is abusive behaviour.

Nor is that going on here: the Anakin on Mustafar wouldn't have felt the slightest remorse at grabbing her wrist too hard.

I respectfully disagree. Feeling remorse doesn't mean grabbing someone's wrist too hard isn't abusive behaviour.

It is sad how Padmé and Anakin have both changed so much to do their jobs.

"I?m not afraid of dying. With you or without you, I die everyday.

So moving and sad...I think both Padmé and Anakin are dying inside with or without each other, really.

"I know what it is to feel you have nothing to lose.?

?Well, it?s true,? he said stiffly. ?I don?t.?

?You have me, Anakin. You will always have me.?

Man. That is just plain beautiful and heartbreaking. I wonder if Padmé will always have Anakin...

And because she could hold back no longer, she kissed him.

Argh! You just had to end the chapter at the best bit!

 

Grr, that was the perfect time to end the chapter
Okay I wanna know what happens!! And what is Palpy up to?

 

~\You got to kiss the girl.../~ She's got you know Anakin!

Yay! They're finally getting thru their emotions and working things out verbally. Good. Was hoping he wouldn't stay stubborn, but we'll see with the next post if he responds or not.

Great job once more

 

"Don?t you understand, Anakin? I will always love you.?

The only sound in the room was the crackling fire.

They stood so closely now that she could feel the rise and fall of his chest. He opened his mouth but silence poured out. Those incredible blue eyes were locked with her own.

Tentatively, Padmé?s hand reached up and touched his cheek. A little muscle worked in his jaw but his gaze did not flinch.

And because she could hold back no longer, she kissed him.

:::GASP!::: Evilness! Evil Evil Evilness!!!

Oh Padmé! Why would she do that??? Because if she takes it back or goes on like before it will kill Anakin. It will kill him. She really will have taken everything from him, even the bits and pieces left over form the last time she stabbed his heart and burned it at the stake.

Agh! And you know I'm in tears! From this line on Gently, his hand closed around hers. I was a goner.

Just lovely and all kinds of Evil at the same time!

bran

 

NOOOO! DON?T EVER SAY THAT! IT?LL JINX EVERYTHING! |||

Argh, sorry!! I just wanted to say I was grateful because we don't have a lot of A/P stories out there and being updated often on top of that... I never meant to jinx anything! Forget what I said!!!!



Yah! It?s funny you said that (about not thinking Anakin would turn his anger on Padmé) because a lot of people have been inching for Padmé to get smacked down since she wrote the dreaded Dear Jedi letter in volume 1. Not that this scene is fan-service ? because you know personally what I think of that. wink The part where Anakin gives Padmé a good chunk of his mind was one of the first concepts of TF.

Oh I know it's not fan service. I wasn't one who wanted Padmé to get smacked down actuallly... Because I know she was suffering as much as Anakin and she was doing what she thought was right. Or maybe I'm just a Padmé fangirl.

You're very welcome for the feedback, I wish this story had even more feedback because it truly deserves it.

Now onto the new chapter...


She gazed at Anakin, saw his spirit, his courage, his passion, his utter and unwavering devotion to her. Even now. Even after everything. He was unmistakable, undeniable. She wandered how she had ever thought she could live without him.

Nice way to put in little words what draws Padmé to Anakin.

?Do you think I risk my life for the Republic? For the Jedi? This award? This medal of honor?? In a sudden motion, he tore it from around his neck. It clattered loudly on the floor.

I liked that... Everyone would be proud of getting a medal but to Anakin it means nothing. I always thought he was more mature than what people give him credit for.

?I too have fought this war in my own way. For the Republic, for justice and peace.? Padmé laughed, short and bitter. ?To do that I am changing ? no, I have changed into something? something I don?t want to be. Something that I hate. I hurt people because I?m hurting inside. I push on because to look back would be to give into despair. And then I ask myself if I am making any difference? If there is really a higher purpose to what I do or if I make-believe there is to justify the suicide of my soul. I ask myself: How can I fight for peace for others when I have none within myself??

That's a great summary of what's been happening to Padmé these last chapters and how she came to this situation and actually seeking Anakin out.

Gently, his hand closed around hers.

*sigh* Anakin...

if Padmé was willing to be saved? could he save her? Even if he could? how much of his own soul would be lost? Assuming it hadn?t been lost already?


Anakin should watch ROTS and he would have an answer to that question. Seriously, I really like that maturity in Anakin now. The war really made him think things through.


?I want you to forgive me,? she said ? begged. ?I want you to not hate me.?

How could a smile so beautiful be so broken?

?I don?t hate you, Padmé.?

His chest rose and fell. ?Not for want of trying, I assure you. You would think that would be easy to do, but it turns out that I can?t hate you.?

I don't think it was meant to mirror an exchange from one of my favorite plays ever but I liked the fact it reminded me of it. In 'Le Cid', a classic French play, one of the most famous exchange between the two lovers goes like this :

-'Go, I do not hate you.'
-'You should.'
-'I cannot.'

Forget the rambling... I just love the fact Anakin can't bring himself to hate Padmé. Reminds me of the end of ROTS when the first thing he has on his mind when he wakes up as Vader is her even thinking she betrayed him.

Damn I'm digressing again.

?It?s as though we?re back on Geonosis again and I stand at the edge of the end of my life. I?m not afraid of dying. With you or without you, I die everyday. You may never forgive me, but that will never stop me from loving you. Don?t you understand, Anakin? I will always love you.?

*heart melts*

And because she could hold back no longer, she kissed him.

Eee!

 

anglerfish07: Sorry for taking so long to post a reply on the chapters I missed out on! | That?s OK, dear. We?re always looking forward to your comments. ||| So moving and sad...I think both Padmé and Anakin are dying inside with or without each other, really. | YES! This is so much what we want to convey ? that being apart from each other is breaking them internally. But sometimes, it?s also good to be broken and phoenixes do rise again from their ashes. So being broken may not ultimately be a bad thing. |||

I wonder if Padmé will always have Anakin... | That?s a very good question. ||| Argh! You just had to end the chapter at the best bit! |


Kynstar: Grr, that was the perfect time to end the chapter | We think so, too! ||| Okay I wanna know what happens!! And what is Palpy up to? | Hint: There?s a lot of Palpatine in the next chapter. Thanks for the feedback!

Kynstar: She's got you know Anakin! | ||| Yay! They're finally getting thru their emotions and working things out verbally. Good. | Communication is the key to any good relationship. ||| Was hoping he wouldn't stay stubborn, but we'll see with the next post if he responds or not. | In the next 10 minutes. ||| Great job once more| Thanks dear!



_ThatJediScum_: :::GASP!::: Evilness! Evil Evil Evilness!!!| LOLOLOL! ||| Oh Padmé! Why would she do that??? | The poor girl can?t help herself. ||| Because if she takes it back or goes on like before it will kill Anakin. It will kill him. | That is true. ||| She really will have taken everything from him, even the bits and pieces left over form the last time she stabbed his heart and burned it at the stake. | Let?s hope it doesn?t get to that. ||| Agh! And you know I'm in tears! | *hugs* Your feedback is always so delightful!


Padlei: I just wanted to say I was grateful because we don't have a lot of A/P stories out there and being updated often on top of that... I never meant to jinx anything! Forget what I said!!!! | It?s too late! ||| Because I know she was suffering as much as Anakin and she was doing what she thought was right. Or maybe I'm just a Padmé fangirl.| Everyone is a fangirl, deep down inside. ||| Nice way to put in little words what draws Padmé to Anakin.| Thank you! |||

Everyone would be proud of getting a medal but to Anakin it means nothing. I always thought he was more mature than what people give him credit for. | He is. He loves adulation, but he prefers it to come from those he cares about. Even when he?s whining about Obi-Wan not respecting him, I think it?s more a complaint that Obi-Wan is not respecting him than that he?s not getting enough respect in general. ||| That's a great summary of what's been happening to Padmé these last chapters and how she came to this situation and actually seeking Anakin out.| We didn?t really intend it to be a summary but it?s cool that it worked out that way , as well. We don?t want to talk down to the readers but because it?s been so long between updates, some things need to be highlighted again. |||I don't think it was meant to mirror an exchange from one of my favorite plays ever but I liked the fact it reminded me of it. | You compared us to a classic! Wow! Thank you! |||

Eee! And you're stopping there?!! | It seemed as good a place as any ||| Please. Want to know what's next. Keep up with the awesome work, dear!| Thanks so much for your wonderful review!

 

Chapter 16, A Jedi?s Reward part 3

It was as if Anakin was watching it all happen from outside his body. Her lips moved against his immobile ones with fevered passion; but he was utterly numb.

?Anakin,? she whispered into his mouth, her breath was joy and pain and life and death and it was enough. He felt her kisses then, so sweet they were bitter, so hot they were cool on his face? his cheeks? his lips? and it was not enough.

Oh sweet Force!

He caught her up against him then and kissed her back. Hard, desperate, frightened kisses. What was she doing to him? How he loved her, loved her, loved her?

He pulled her flush against his body, bent almost double as he buried his tongue in her mouth. Another woman might have been frightened. Padmé?s arms tightened even more fiercely round his back, drawing him down into her. He was sinking, drowning, dying in her kisses?

He would die. He couldn?t do it, couldn?t let himself be hurt again. It would kill him.

Abruptly, he pulled away, turning his shaking body away from her as he buried his face in his hands.

But she would not let him be. Her small fingers wrapped themselves around his arms, enflaming him where she touched. He shuddered violently.

?Please? please Anakin,? she pleaded, ?please.?

It was the pain in her voice, not the passion, that moved him. He lowered his hands and turned to face her once more. Grief etched hard lines into her delicate features. He couldn?t bear to see her in so much pain. Force help him, he never could.

But what did this mean?

?I don?t understand, Padmé!? He cried. ?What do you want??

?You,? she said with heartbreaking honesty. ?I want you.?

Don?t you know? It?s never a matter of what we want, Anakin, but of what we must.

Those words that she had said to him not too long ago stood at the tip of his tongue, primed to hurl themselves at her; but he held them back. They would wound her and that was something he no longer had the strength to do.

?What has changed?? His voice rose in urgency. There was a line to be crossed here and he was perilously close to being pulled over. ?How can I trust that you won?t turn me away again?? Don?t you understand, Padmé, if I let go?if I give into this? I?ll lose myself in you forever.

For a long moment, she merely looked at him, her eyes dark and unreadable. And he realized that he was more afraid of her answer than he had ever been of anything in his life.

When she finally responded, it was simply and earnestly.

?Why can?t we just have tonight? Why must we always think about the future??

Something inside him cracked.

It came down to this, then.

Save her or save himself. She would not allow him to do both.

?Just tonight.? It was half a question, half a statement of intent. His voice was strangled with hope and misery.

?Just tonight.?

Tears shimmered his vision. He felt like he was being torn in two, such was the extent of his agony.

Then her lips were on his again, this time with such tenderness it took his breath away and his fate was sealed. They held onto each other as if they would drown outside the protective confines of their embrace.

She had to stand on her tiptoes to kiss him. He had forgotten that.

Never once breaking away, Anakin deftly removed her cloak and was finally able to wrap his arms around her narrow waist. The shimmer velvet was soft beneath his fingers, but not soft enough.

Together they collapsed onto the soft rug in front of the fire, their legs refusing to support them any longer. His hand twisted in her hair, pulling her lips to his, crushing his mouth against hers.

?Padmé ?? It was both a prayer and a plea.

Her answering moan, a sound born of the same need that raged through him, nearly drove him mad. The numerous layers of defenses that he had built around his heart for this woman were crumbling down like sand. An inferno was being unleashed. His hands were reaching for those places that he had

 

Poor Poor Obi-wan. If you think Anakin is happy you are in for a surprise. I still have the ask, what is Padmé thinking? It is almost as if she is trying to break all his spirit. This is a bad business these two are in right now. Nothing good will comes from this.

Lovely and heart breaking as always ladies.

bran

 

But will Anakin stay happy?? I rather guess there'll be a catastrophy in the morning...

 

I only just got the 'Jedi's reward' meaning.

First, *fans self*

Second, onto the review. Gives me an excuse to re-read the chapter.

Abruptly, he pulled away, turning his shaking body away from her as he buried his face in his hands.
But she would not let him be. Her small fingers wrapped themselves around his arms, enflaming him where she touched.

Heh, I was glad she didn't relent. I would've felt cheated if Anakin had just walked away from Padmé's room.

?I don?t understand, Padmé!? He cried. ?What do you want??


Had to admit I too was a bit lost as to what Padmé really wanted.

Those words that she had said to him not too long ago stood at the tip of his tongue, primed to hurl themselves at her; but he held them back. They would wound her and that was something he no longer had the strength to do.

That's some progress I guess. Anakin no longer wants to hurt her. Even though this was the perfect opportunity.

?Why can?t we just have tonight? Why must we always think about the future??

Oh, Padmé... *shakes head* WTH? Just tonight?? with the two of you? Like it could ever work like that...


It came down to this, then. Save her or save himself. She would not allow him to do both.

Ouch. And that's why I'm not that convinced this 'just tonight' thing is a good thing in the long run. WTH are you doing to Anakin, Padmé??

Poor Anakin...

I love the depiction you made afterwards. The emotions really stood out which made the whole thing hot with little words.

?I want you, Anakin.? The intent of her words was clear and the trembling that had begun when he had entered this room grew from his core to encompass his entire body. She pulled his mouth back to hers with the urgency of someone who needed his kiss like they needed air to breathe.

Heh, I like the fact Padmé is the one pushing Anakin to his limits.

She needed him, at least, for this one night.

Shows Anakin still thinks Padmé doesn't particularly need him apart from this specific outburst.

The flickering light of the fire sputtered and danced. Somewhere beyond the sound-proof windows, the rain was committing suicide against the rooftops of Theed.


Loved these two sentences, especially the 'committing suicide' one.


Obi-Wan didn?t need to put two and two together. He was too busy trying not to imagine the activities his Padawan could be engaging in.

ROTFL. The much needed comic relief.

Even without the added connection of their Master/Padawan bond, Anakin?s extreme emotions had the power to affect all those near him. He was near ? regardless of what Amidala?s handmaidens claimed ? and he was happy.

*coughs* I wonder why that is.

What that had involved was not something that Obi-Wan wanted to consider in too much detail.

Nice to see Obi-Wan not being clueless. Reminds me of ROTS too, the way he turns a blind eye to what he knows is going on between Anakin and Padmé. It touched me that he only cared about Anakin's happiness.

The storm had ended. It was going to be a clear morning.

Mmh... Not so sure about that. I think it's going to get worse after this night. I believe there are two ways : either Anakin and Padmé finally realize being apart is not the solution or (I think that's the more likely) they do as they said and separate at dawn. But knowing Anakin, spending one night with Padmé wasn't fulfilling enough...

Looks like next update won't deal with this. So I'll just have to wait and see. Congrats for this chapter, dear!

 

I think that, at this point, it will not take very much to get Anakin to go to the Dark Side. Both of them are in a very messed up personal situation and Padme is being very selfish right now. That is not to say that Anakin is being all sweetness and light himself, but in some ways his wants are a lot more simpler than hers.

But I am watching this really excellent story unfold and just feeling the tension in my chest. He already has to deal with the strictures of the Jedi, and his own issues. And now this. Seriously, I can't believe I'm saying this but in many ways I think this AU will be even worse off than the canon one. At least in that one, Anakin had some release. Here, he has next to nothing. It is not so much a matter of if he will turn, now it really is a matter of when.

Unless something really extraordinary and unforeseen happens. Like Padme no longer pretending to be selfless and realizing just how selfish she really is being. Being totally contradictory and just hurting him even more. I know it is a lot more complicated than that in some ways, but there it is. Anyway, continue the really excellent work. I look forward to more, with some trepidation.

 

Yay for Anakin and Padme! Even if they think it'll be juz 'for tonight' We'll see about that bet it'll be more than that!

Poor Obi, he knows Anakin is happy, but would he approve of how that has happened?

Great update can't wait for more! Specially on what Palps is about! Sneaky devil he is!

 

wow

I can't help but wonder if there are condoms or other forms of contraceptives in the GFFA, because the only way this situation could get worse would be if Padme were to get pregnant.

Now, of course, you three gals wouldn't do something that mean... would you?

I almost forgot:

Somewhere beyond the sound-proof windows, the rain was committing suicide against the rooftops of Theed.

jesus! Do all of your chapters end with intense, descriptive lines like this? I can't help but feel as though the elements are echoing the actions of our characters...

 

I forget where I remember hearing the phrase "old enough to know better, young enough to not care," and it suits A/P to a tee, especially in this situation.

Even the healthiest romantic love always has an element of selfishness (after all, one typically doesn't share their spouse with someone else), and I usually do find myself chanting to these two "yes, dammit! Forget everyone else! Be selfish, just for a little bit!"

Not here, though. I can't shake the nasty feeling that they'd have been better off if they had backed off here - not sure why. Everyone always says "just once," even when everyone knows where that always leads. There's no going halfway with this pair. It won't be enough for either of them, won't solve a bloody thing, and as has been enumerated in previous replies could potentially make things even worse in at least one way.

There's just too much baggage here - way, way more so than in canon.

And YES, for Anakin at least asking "What do you want from me?"

Kept in character, yet still managing to make me go "I have a bad feeling about this..." about on what on the surface is a passionate reconciliation between my two favorite messed-up lovebirds. Great work again, ladies!

-- Aeryn

 

UPdate soon, please!!!

 

Somehow I missed this latest update! I thought that I would check the boards just in case, and I found it. Though I have been rooting for Anakin and Padme to get together all along (and I still am), I have a sinking feeling about this "one night stand." I don't think they will get it all out of their systems, if that is what Padme is thinking... or maybe she is just subconsciously hoping that he will return to talk her into "just one more," then another and another. One way or another, they are either destined or doomed to be together, and it seems that tragedy follows them on whichever path they choose.

Still, bittersweet as their reunion is, I hope that they can continue their relationship.

A nice touch, in my opinion, is when she thinks to herself that he is "beautiful." So many stories focus on his overwhelming attraction to her (which is definitely part of the story) but neglect her attraction to him. While there is an element of fixing/caregiving involved in her role, I think that there is definitely physical attraction between both of them, and it's good to read a hint of it in Padme -- rather than just pity or succumbing to flattery or whatever some other writers think of her reasons.

Thanks for sharing this exceptional story.

Liz

 

Gosh, where to begin? This is what? the 3rd or is it the 4th time we are sitting down to write an explanation for an impromptu hiatus. Gosh, it?ll be a wonder if anyone remembers this story or cares to read it. After all, it?s just been one big disappointment after the other. Well, not going to bore you all with explanations. We shouldn?t have abandoned this story for this long and we?re sad that we did. But we are still continuing it and we hope to complete it? Someday. If anyone wants a PM when we update, just drop us a line here on by PM.

---

[b]bran [/b]: [i]Poor Poor Obi-wan. If you think Anakin is happy you are in for a surprise.[/i]

LOL!

[i]I still have the ask, what is Padmé thinking? It is almost as if she is trying to break all his spirit.[/i]

I won't go [i]that[/i] far. :P Thanks for the feedback, dear!


[b]GeneralKenobi7[/b]: [i]But will Anakin stay happy??[/i]

That's the million credit question. Obi-Wan is pretty much willing to take his chances as long as Anakin gets [i]some[/i] happiness. Thanks for replying!


[b]Padlei [/b]:[i]I only just got the 'Jedi's reward' meaning.[/i]

And there we were thinking that the title had given away the story!

[i]First, *fans self*[/i]

*giggles*

[i]Had to admit I too was a bit lost as to what Padmé really wanted.[/i]

That's not surprising considering that she's never quite sure herself...

[i]Nice to see Obi-Wan not being clueless. Reminds me of ROTS too, the way he turns a blind eye to what he knows is going on between Anakin and Padmé. It touched me that he only cared about Anakin's happiness.[/i]

Awww... Obi-Wan can be sweet when he wants to. I also don't think that he was clueless in ROTS. He just preferred to bury his head in the sand.

So you also think their one night of passion is a bad idea. [face_thinking] Time will tell... Thanks for the feedback, dear friend!


[b]darth_treyvah[/b]: [i]I think that, at this point, it will not take very much to get Anakin to go to the Dark Side. Both of them are in a very messed up personal situation and Padmé is being very selfish right now.[/i]

That's interesting because Padmé has tried to work herself into a state where she thinks she can finally allow herself to be selfish. Like you rightly observed, there is another person involved in this act of selfishness that might not be able to walk away from it unscathed.

[i]Seriously, I can't believe I'm saying this but in many ways I think this AU will be even worse off than the canon one. [/i]

We love this. Just love it. The idea of this story took off from a debate about whether Anakin and Padmé getting married contributed to his falling to the dark side - or just delayed it. That you're making comparisons like this one means some of that thinking crossed over into the story!

[i]Anyway, continue the really excellent work. I look forward to more, with some trepidation. [/i]

Thank you. I'm really happy that you feel so much trepidation! So glad to have you on this thread!


[b]Kynstar[/b]: [i]Even if they think it'll be juz 'for tonight' We'll see about that bet it'll be more than that! [/i]

:D You're the first person to consider the possibility that it might not just be a single night of passion! :D

[i]can't wait for more! Specially on what Palps is about! Sneaky devil he is![/i]

You'll soon be getting your wish, my dear. :D Eventually. [face_worried] Thank you for dropping by!


[b]Vivid_Scripts[/b]: [i]the only way this situation could get worse would be if Padmé were to get pregnant.[/i]

That is a very interesting observation. :P And that's all we can say safely. :)

[i]Do all of your chapters end with intense, descriptive lines like this?[/i]

ROTFL! Not all. Just the angsty ones. Which are like... all of them. :P Thanks for the feedback!


[b]Alderaan21[/b]: [i]Not here, though. I can't shake the nasty feeling that they'd have been better off if they had backed off here - not sure why.[/i]

:O :O Yikes! Et tu? I don't believe it!

[i]And YES, for Anakin at least asking

 

THIS IS NOT ABADONDED??????


i loooooooooooooooove you guys!definitely i want to get to the pm list!

 

I hope you plan to continue this story. I would love to get a PM when any updates come around.