Tiime Shiifters - Siith Fic (AU Humour thru all era's) *updated 4/11*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by C-3PX, Mar 14, 2003.

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  1. C-3PX Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2002
    star 6
  2. Daarthe_Lemelemie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2002
    star 4
  3. CptCorranHorn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2002
    star 5
    How could you droid? Why would you do such a thing?!?!?!
  4. flying_fishi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2002
    star 6
  5. Daarthe_Lemelemie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2002
    star 4
    yay! installment! update! chapter!


    *****************

    When finally the pretty flashy time travel lights cleared, the Siith found themselves in yet another strange place.

    ?Alright, when and where are we now?? Lemel sighed.

    Deestructo glanced around in a very droidlike fashion. ?Who knows??

    ?Ooh, I know, I know!!? InFeerNoo jumped up and down excitedly.

    Fishi waved in his general direction. ?Alright, tell us what you think before you hurt yourself.?

    Lemel smirked. ?Maybe we should just let him hurt himself.?

    InFeerNoo glared momentarily at Lemel, then resumed his excited hopping from foot to foot activity. ?We?re on Ee-arth!?

    ?Ee-arth?? Deestructo looked confused - to the extent a droid could look confused.

    Lemel sighed and shook her head. ?He means Earth, I?m sure.?

    ?Earth? What kind of a crazy place is that?? Fishi demanded.

    Suddenly, a freaky looking Asian guy appeared, holding a box.

    ?YOU WANT NOODLES?!? he yelled, ?THEY YUMMY-YUMMY!!!?

    ?What in the name of the Force?!? Lemel cried. As quickly as he?d arrived, the Asian guy was incinerated as Lemel reflexively employed her Siith skill of creating explosions out of thin air.

    ?I don?t like this place,? Fishi said uneasily. ?The people are scary.?

    Another Earth-man, this time wearing a suit, with slicked back hair and carrying a briefcase, approached them.

    ?Hey there,? he said pleasantly, ?I was wondering if??

    ?You?re not going to try and sell us noodles, are you?? Deestructo asked.

    The man seemed undisturbed that a robot had just spoken to him. ?No, no, of course not. I?m going to sell you ADAMANTINUM STEEL EYES!?

    Lemel raised an eyebrow. ?Adamantinum Steel Eyes??

    InFeerNoo, who looked interested, shook his head. ?You said it wrong. It?s ADAMANTINUM STEEL EYES!?

    The salesman nodded. ?Sure, you want adamantinum steel bones -- who doesn't? The physical near-invulnerability, the cool snik-snik of those claws -- but who can afford the complicated, dangerous and painful bone-replacement procedure? That's why Evil On A Budget, Inc. presents the cheaper, easier, quicker alternative; Adamantinum Steel Eyeballs. They're cheap, any qualified evil ophthalmologist can install them, and your new eyes will be completely invincible!?

    InFeerNoo grinned. ?How much??

    The salesman smiled. ?Price: US$49.99 per pair.?

    Lemel suddenly realised that this guy sounded somewhat like a zombie who had consumed copious amounts of caffeine. ?What?s the catch?? she asked suspiciously.

    ?You'll be totally, permanently blind, of course. But it's a small price to pay for INVINCIBLE EYES!?

    ?Obviously you?ve had way too much caf.? Fishi observed.

    ?Caf?!? he demanded. ?What?s caf?! Is it sellable?! Will I get good money for it?!?

    An evil smirk appeared on Lemel?s features. ?Sure, salesdude, if you?ll just take a walk with me?? And she led the salesman/overly caffeinated zombie dude away from the group of Siith, talking quickly and gesturing vividly.

    Fishi glanced at the others. ?What do you think she?s doing??

    Deestructo shrugged - quite an accomplishment for a droid. ?Something evil, no doubt.?

    She considered this. ?That?s true? but I wanted a more specific answer.?

    ?Well you should have asked for a specific answer,? he countered.

    Fishi smacked him over the head with the hilt of her liightsaabre. ?Did I ask for your opinion?? she demanded.

    ?Well? no.?

    ?Dumb droid.? Fishi muttered.

    Lemel returned. ?Look what I got in exchange for a measly cup of caf!? In her hand, she held a small box, labelled ?Dancing Jelly Worms?.

    ?Dancing Jelly Worms?? Fishi asked, interested.

    Lemel nodded. ?Yeah. I?ve read about these. That overly caffeinated zombie dude??

    ?Salesman,? InFeerNoo interjected.

    ?Whatever,? Lemel glared momentarily at the lower ranked Siith, then returned her attention to the box. ?Anyway, that overly caffeinated zombie dude doesn?t know what he just sold to me. These Dancing Jelly Worms are Magickal!?

    ?Magick wit
  6. CptCorranHorn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2002
    star 5
    Aw, gee, Maaster Lemel, you're the greatest :D
  7. Daarthe_Lemelemie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2002
    star 4
    :cool:


    well, i couldnt leave my most loyal Soldata dead, now could i? ;)
  8. C-3PX Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2002
    star 6
    Now I have to kill him AGAIN. Thanks lemelie. :p
  9. Daarthe_Lemelemie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2002
    star 4
    if you kill him again ill just bring him back again, c-3 ;) :p
  10. CptCorranHorn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2002
    star 5
    I love being fought over 8-}
  11. C-3PX Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2002
    star 6
    You can only wish some one back once. I know Dragon balls. ;)

    So I kill him and he's dead dead. Anyways you didn't bring Brutus back... [face_mischief]

    It's only fair that Hoorn dies. Wait! He can be that dying Siith like we talk about. [face_devil]
  12. CptCorranHorn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2002
    star 5
    Ah, 3PX, how little you know. People can be wished back many times with the Namekian Dragonballs, jeez.

    And I will not die again!!! :mad:
  13. C-3PX Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2002
    star 6
    Namek's no more...


    I'll kill you as I please so hush.
  14. Daarthe_Lemelemie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2002
    star 4
    you do remember that its your turn, c-3 :p
  15. Daarthe_Lemelemie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2002
    star 4
    i just saw the matrix reloaded. it was muchly coolage.


    in other news, its still your turn, c-3 ;)
  16. Daarthe_Lemelemie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2002
    star 4
    alright, alright, if c-3 aint gonna do it, then someone else can. anyone who wants to, or has any suggestions, pm me aite?
  17. WarmasterDan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2002
    star 6
    I don't feel like PMing ya. :p I would like to see if could replace C-3PX as the co-author.
  18. C-3PX Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2002
    star 6
    Boo NO. I just kinda don't have a computer, that doesn't mean some snot nosed kid and steal my story.
  19. Daarthe_Lemelemie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2002
    star 4
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    it kinda helps if you tell me these things so i know who/what to blame ;) :p
  20. CptCorranHorn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2002
    star 5
    my loyal fans want more Hoorn!!!

    8-}
  21. Daarthe_Lemelemie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2002
    star 4
    i want more hoorn too! :p


    mehehe...



    ... :eek:


    *suddenly realises just how twisted that can sound*

    oh man, i even surprise myself sometimes :p
  22. C-3PX Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2002
    star 6
    Well I think more Hoorn killing is in order.
  23. Daarthe_Lemelemie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2002
    star 4
  24. C-3PX Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2002
    star 6
    Well you just had to bring him back. He was a bumbling moron...and against us. Either he comes back as a talking clam or not at all.
  25. Daarthe_Lemelemie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2002
    star 4
    i brought him back cause he asked me to!! and besides, even if you bring him back as a talking clam, the power of a Siith Maaster is unlimited, especially when coupled with the power of an Authoress. he wouldnt be a talking clam for long :D
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