Till Death Do Us Part planning thread -Spoilers!- Starting!

Clare: The box of dog tags is:

Okay, this was an evil thing and it takes a while to figure it out. BUT you are only issued one set of dog tags, therefore it would be very special that she gave one of hers to Obi-Wan. It's symbolic of giving half your life to someone. Half your life, all your love.

So if he finds a whole box of them, it's as though she's living/dying a lie. It means she has the power to give almost any man "half her life" and "all her love." So Obi-Wan wouldn't be the only poor guy to fall under her spell [sorry about the phrasing, listening to Frank Sinatra.]. Which basically makes her a...bad person I guess.

However, Kat and I want to make this a little less of evil, and I thought of something at last without being corny or whatever you want to call it:

When the coroner or mortician, or whatever they have in Star Wars looks for her identification, what do we say he sees one with her name, and one with Obi Wan's? Therefore, all the readers know that Carrie loved only he, but Obi-Wan is overcome with the feeling that he has been betrayed. A little controversy adds a lot of fun.

Yes, I'm a symbolism nut. For all my BTWL readers, you should know...there's so much symbolism the story is practically exploding with it.

 

*cough*upthanksmara*cough*

 

*cough*npArna*cough*

Ok peeps! Arna and I have been talking... (scary, yes we know) and came up with some good sub-plot stuff. Here it is...

~*~*~*~*~

jalen mara: Everyone always wonders why his name is Ben, right?

ClarissaSaunders: right
jalen mara: well, if he and Carrie are going to be undercover, then that can be his spy name whatever
ClarissaSaunders: :-D
jalen mara: that she gives him, of course

ClarissaSaunders: okay, here's an idea. What are all the things about episode IV that we should clarify through the story?
ClarissaSaunders: maybe why he's a hermit on tatooine?
jalen mara: yep
ClarissaSaunders: mush is funnnnnn. :-D We can definately play up on the whole Ben thing
jalen mara: why he never faced Ani and knocked him out of whatever funk he was in in the first place

jalen mara: Obi's to busy to properly train ani, like you said, Ani's lucky to get bits and pieces here and there
ClarissaSaunders: right
jalen mara: we now that Ani is afraid for his mother, who's still a slave, so when he gets a distress message from her, he wants to go take action
ClarissaSaunders: that's what i always suspected too
jalen mara: Obi doesn' think that's a good idea, but frankly, he's got alot on his plate what with the war and Carrie and everything
jalen mara: Ani gets mad, and goes to help Mom, but by then it's to late, she's dead
jalen mara: Ani goes off the deep end, just beserk with anger
ClarissaSaunders: should Padme be with him?
jalen mara: finds out somehow that Obi knew what was going on because it was some military thing gone bad that killed his mom, and there we go
jalen mara: sure
jalen mara: Ani's mad at Obi, Obi feels guilty
ClarissaSaunders: ahhh, I like it

ClarissaSaunders: And...TDDUP has several meanings then
ClarissaSaunders: Ie: Anakin's parting with the Lightside when his mother dies.

~*~*~*~*~

That's what we came up with. Arna's hopefully going to make up an outline so we can all see how this all fits together.

Comments, ideas, add-ins??

 

I was bored, so I drew up a sample first post. I don't know if you want to go with this or not, just tell me, you won't hurt my feelings. Rather then throwing Carrie in right away, I thought we might let the readers get a taste of background for this. Complexities, complexities... Mara and I agreed that we might want to throw in Anakin and Padme too for added complexities...but we'll put it to a vote. I liked my name of Myriel, so I threw it in as a cameo as the secretary. Mara and I also thought that the General should be sort of nuts...a little comic relief. Plus, I was thinking Obi can replace him eventually? Anyway, without further ado, a sample of TDDUP.




Till Death Do Us Part

"I'd like to personally welcome you to the military, Jedi Kenobi," greeted a well-polished lieutenant at the door. Obi-Wan Kenobi tried an absentminded smile and nod to the young awed officer. He wasn't looking forward to this one bit, but the war needed him. Now that the Jedi were under attack, the numbers were dwindling and he hoped fervently that he could help them.

The lieutenant snapped to attention and spoke crisply as if he'd been programmed flawlessly. "Right this way, Jedi Kenobi." Obi-Wan followed, still clad in his Jedi robes, lightsaber swinging from his belt. Everything in the Republic Military offices had maintained their dignity, the uniform, the spit, polish, and shine, and the formality remained.

Long hair tangled in twisted strands, beard hanging from his chin, Obi-Wan felt more like a drunk on the streets of Coruscant, not a Jedi, and certainly not like military personnel. He eyed the surroundings of the prestigious hall with poised humility and suddenly felt nervous. It'd been years since he'd felt insecure, but now, facing a new organization, Obi-Wan realized he was the loner.

Most of the other Jedi were gone. Gone. Dead or escaped, and Obi-Wan would have to gamble with their fates like a game of sabacc.

He brushed away his worries and stepped inside the spacious office the young lieutenant had led him to. Behind the refined desk sat an older gentleman, dressed in civilian garments. "You're the General?" Obi-Wan questioned incredulously, taking note of the slovenly appearance strewn across the room. Papers and maps were scattered across the desk, and food rations were placed awkwardly on the furnishings.

"That's right, boy!" the man barked in a raspy voice. "Supreme commander of all forces fighting for good to blow the armies of evil off the map!"

The lieutenant gently tapped Obi-Wan on the shoulder. He tilted his head to hear the young man's whisper. "General Serkankis experienced some heavy shellshock during his service in the Corellian guard. He's periodically delirious in his old age." Obi-Wan made a sympathetic face and nodded.

He tried to appear uniform, though he could barely keep back a chuckle. "General Serkankis," he began, pausing to make sure he had the man's attention, "I am Jedi Kenobi, I have an appointment for a commission in the Republic defense military."

Serkenkis slumped back in his elevated chair, suddenly brought back from the battles of the past. "Oh yes," he said in a voice that nearly sounded timid. His thin hands flew across the desk searching for the appropriate file. After a moment of throwing papers all over the floor he bellowed, "Myriel! Get me, what's your name again?"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi," he said patiently, containing an amused laugh.

"Get me Obi-Wan Kenobi's file this minute! And get me something for this blasted headache!"

In a moment, a young secretary appeared holding a box. "Yes, General Serkankis," she droned, "here is Jedi Kenobi's things, and here is your medication." She rolled her eyes to Obi-Wan and motioned for him to follow her into the adjacent room. "General, if you don't mind, I'll take care of this for you."

The general waved her off, hands shaking as he moved the pills to his mouth. Obi-Wan followed the woman called Myriel and gave a final smile to the young lieutenant. "I'm terribly sorr

 

Here's the outline, it's not that great...but I had some more free time.


Obi-Wan in the military
Commissioned as a general
Shaves off the beard
Is assigned on a spy mission
Meets Carrie
she tries to kill him, thinking he is the target
Sent to Obi-Wan for reprimand by Serkenkis
"We meet again"
A few snippy exchanges, mutual respect forming
Obi-Wan and Carrie are assigned to Tatooine for reconnaissance mission
Obi-Wan learns that the Mandalorians are assembling on Tatooine for an attack on Mos Espa
He is unable to leave his post, though he knows about Shmi
He does not tell Anakin in fear of him trying to save his mother and getting killed

Anakin
At the same time of Obi-Wan's commission, tries to win over Padmé
They fall in love, blah de blah mush stuff
Asks Padmé to marry him in secret
(Dramatic irony. Obi-Wan is only beginning to meet his love)
Anakin and Padmé get married clandestinely, more mushy stuff
Mush. Duh. We're not going to be gross, but we should "suggest the wedding night."
(Nothing graphic or disgusting, but a uh?suggestion.)
Finds out in the following days that Obi-Wan is assigned to Tatooine
Senator Padmé Amidala (Skywalker) is trying to do diplomatic work on Tatooine
Her and Anakin, some mush stuff, a foil for the future the readers know of.
One night, Anakin has a dream about his mother
Without Obi-Wan's knowing, runs off towards Mos Espa in a speeder?
Shmi is dead
Lightsaber confrontation in which Anakin kills a lot of Mandalorians
Realizes how powerful the Dark Side is
Steals off in Obi-Wan's ship to who knows where
Padmé, all alone, discovers she is pregnant. (the amount of time on Tatooine is a month or two)
Confides in Obi-Wan.
He feels guilty, thinking he might have been able to stop this

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan and Carrie are falling in love
More dramatic irony, Obi-Wan is in pure happiness, but it is shadowed by Anakin.
He tries to contact his apprentice, but the bond has been weakened
Namely by the Dark side.
Carrie and Obi-Wan mush, stuff like that, no fine tuned details yet
He tells her his problems, she comforts him, close emotional bond growing
DOG TAG SWITCH
Pivotal moment in the story.
Till death do us part
Receives word that General Serkenkis is dead and Obi-Wan is now supreme commander
He wants to stay with Carrie, but his new responsibility takes him away to a different part of Tatooine

[Gray Area] You are free to play around with anything you want here. Be it Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru, Anakin turning to the Dark Side, Padmé, Luke and Leia, whatever. [/Gray Area]

Obi-Wan thinks of Carrie, "emotional romance"

[More Gray Area]

"We've almost have this war won. Drive them out of Tatooine, and we'll be free."
Gets a call from her as she is dying from a wound or something.
Rushes as fast as he can to meet her
Finds her dead body, etc etc, we've all talked about this.
OR
Finds her as she's dying, asks for a drink of water
He roots around in her stuff for her canteen
The box of dog tags spill out onto the ground
Doesn't see these yet, the emotional stress?
She dies
Then sees the box
Assumes she played his heart
Feels bitter about this apparent betrayal

The final battle is over, but he's lost more then he bargained for.

Anakin joining the dark side scene?

The medics, clearing the battlefield are searching for the identifications.
They find Carrie's, but the two tags don't match
One is hers, the other is Obi-Wan
(proves that she only loved Obi-Wan)

"The two things I've loved most have died on this planet. Anakin Skywalker, and Carissa Green."
Heartbroken, he stares out at the sinking suns of Tatooine on a barren cliff or something like that
Removes his dog tags and drop into the sand which the winds bury.

FIN.

What's anyone think? I know, that's very general and sort of rough, but that's just a quick outline. Open to change and anything else.

 

up

 

*sigh* I love this! Great job arna!!!

 

Up

 

*cough*petekat*cough*

 

YES! Shave off that beard! Keep your hair cut short!

 

I want to start the story soon, we're entering AOTC hype season...so we should get a nice readership? I just need approval now...

The tenative roster is:

ArnaKyle
Jedi Clare
Marawannabe
PeterTutham27
TwighlightKat

Is that right? Correct me if I'm wrong...just someone say the word and I'll start the story.

 

the word...

 

Um, if you don't mind, could you shift me down a little? I'm currently hit by Darths Writer's Block and Not-Enough-Time-On-The-Boards so the next post may be a long time in coming.

Thanks.

= Clare =

 

It's just alphabetical, post whenever strikes you in the mood. I'm not going to enforce anything...just whenever inspiration hits and time permits, you're free to write something.

 

'Kay.

 

Some questions:

Do generals wear different uniforms from other ranks or is it only the rank insignia that's different?

What colour is his uniform?

Is being commissioned as a general a formal thing like some VIP has to do it?

If so, how is it usually done?

 

Clare:

Because this is Star Wars, we have a LOT of freedom, but if this would be earth based:

1. Generals have the same typical uniform as other officers. The insignia for a general on earth is a certain number of stars.

2. I don't know what color you want to say. Nowadays it's an olive drab, but in the WWII era they were khaki colored.

3. No one is just commissioned as a general. Promotions are done by family members and someone in high command, but commissions... The way I see that though is...(plot point for later) Obi-Wan was simply placed into high command in hopes of drawing more Jedi in. So basically, they assigned him a "dress position." He'll have about as much real power as Carrie...until Serkenkis dies...

I don't know, I have a very complex thought process...sorry about that. If you need clarification, ask and I'll try my best to explain.

 

I know nothing about the military. I assumed 'commissioned' simply meant being made a general, and I used it because that's what you used in the plot outline post up there. Could you explain that part please?

Thanks.

= Clare =

 

Oh okay.

When someone is commissioned it's almost like being "assigned." Obi-Wan joined the military to try and help save the Jedi (not to mention everyone else) and was assigned the rank of general. Does that help?

 

Who's doing the next post?

 

I've been thinking about a post introducing Carrie, but have hit a roadblock... Do we have physical parameters set for her??? I don't remember

 

Not really...whatever you want is okay with me...if you want to run your post past everyone is fine too. Democracy in action, gotta love it.

 

Ok, here we go!

~*~*~*~*~
Major Carissa Green stormed down the hallway, angrily blowing her chin length, curly, malt brown hair out of her face. Darn her hair! This particular cut was the only hairstyle that allowed for some femininity in the military, while still obeying regulation. The curly mass was too short to pull up, yet just long enough to get in her face while walking quickly, or when a breeze blew in. Carrie sighed quietly. The price she had to pay to keep a job she loved.

Her moss green eyes flashed dangerously, alerting anyone who was familiar with her presence that she was on a mission. A dangerous woman not to be trifled with. She might be small in stature, but all anyone had to do was look at her, and they would easily know there was more to her strength and character than size.

The sound of her boots clicking on the corridor floor echoed throughout the long hallway, her determined strides eating up the ground. Carrie could hear the faint laughter of humanoids further up the corridor. A smiled tugged at the corner of her lips, but she immediately arranged her face in a serious composition. She was here on business. Pleasure came later.

A faint noise sounded behind her, pulling her combat senses to the forefront of her mind. Almost before thought could register, she spun quickly, hands ready in a combat postition.

The corridor was empty behind her; not a soul in sight. She quickly glanced from side to side, her shoulders tense. Nothing. Slowly, Carrie let her shoulders slump in relief. The last thing she needed was added stress to an already horrible day.

She whirled on her heel, and slammed right into another beings chest. "Hey watch it!" she snarled as the man's, for it certainly was a man, hands grabbed her shoulders in an attempt to steady her.

"Are you all right miss?" The man's gentle, low voice soothed her ears as she shook her head quickly, to try to clear the cobwebs from her mind.

Carrie was painfully aware of the warm hands that still rested on her upper arms, gently offering warm support. "I'm fine." she growled, jerking her right arm out of his grasp.

"Are you sure?" The man -- the Jedi, if his robes were any indication, continued. Carried glanced up into his face, concerned liquid brown eyes staring back into hers.

Her mouth went slightly dry, and she shook her head again. "Yes, I'm fine." she spat angrily. "Now remove your hand from my arm before I remove it for you." Her calm, steel gaze met his, almost daring him to defy her.

The Jedi simply regarded her calmly, spread his hands and stepped back. Carrie stormed down the rest of the hallway to her destination. Reaching the door, she stepped inside quickly, almost wishing that the doors were the old fashioned wooden ones, so she could slam it in frustration.

"Problems, Major Green?" the young woman at the desk asked, raising an eyebrow.

Carrie sighed. "Not at all Myriel. What does the General need today?"

Myriel rolled her eyes. "He needs to retire, but since he won't, he settles for hiring new generals to help him, and reassigning Majors."

Carrie groaned, "Does that mean that-?"

Myriel smiled slightly. "Your new assignment, Major Green."

~*~*~*~*~

Comments, problems I need to fix? *cough*Katsywhereareyou*cough*

 

I'm really sorry... I think I was supposed to do the next part, according to the roster , but like I said, DWB and DRL hasn't been very kind to me so far...

I like the post! There are a few little punctuation problems, but I'm not going to be nit-picking.

"He needs to retire, but since he won't, he settles for hiring new generals to help him, and reassigning Majors."

I love that line!

 

Okay...I had this little bit written up, but it's kinda iffy...

< > < > < > < > < >

The clean-shaven face that stared back at Obi-Wan from the mirror was unfamiliar. Free of the mass of ginger hair, his chin was now visible. The strong jaw sported two or three cuts, the results of Obi-Wan?s attempt at shaving. He rubbed his chin ruefully. He was going to have to improve if he had to do it everyday.

His hair had been cut short too, in the Padawan haircut he had had years ago. At least it had turned out better than his chin.

He rather liked the look. Without the long hair and the beard, he looked neater, younger. The Jedi Knight wondered what had possessed him to grow a beard and keep his hair long.

Obi-Wan?s blue-green eyes left the mirror, ending his inspection of his reflection, and focused on the drab olive uniform he was dressed in. It wasn't as starched as it looked, still, he felt uncomfortable in it, having lived in Jedi garb almost all of his life.

The rank insignia that denoted him to be a general gleamed where it was attached over his left breast pocket. He had found it waiting for him in his quarters. No grand ceremony, no large crowd gathered to applaud him, no congratulatory speech. It was a commission, after all.

Not that he wanted it all anyway.

He could do without the glory and acclaim, if only this war would end soon. He had lost many friends, too many, to this blasted war which had barely begun.

Obi-Wan fought down the grief that began to rise in him. He was a general. He had a job to do, people to command. People who depended on him to make the right decisions, people whose lives depended on what he ordered. He could not let emotion distract him from his duty.

Less than a day in the Republic Military, and already he was feeling the responsibility pressing down on him.

But he would accept whatever came his way, even if he did not like it. He was a Jedi.