Beyond ~Till Death Do We Part~ (GenOochy/Jedi Allegra: Master/ Padawan) I need more readers!~

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jedi_Allegra, Aug 9, 2004.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Jedi_Allegra Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2003
    star 5
    Dedication: To my best friend and WONDERFUL beta reader Agent_Jaid :D *claps hands.* My wonderful "former" Master Oochy.

    Thanks: I would also like to thanks Agent_Jaid for taking her time away from her book on the way to the beach to read this! You were the best beta reader Jaid! I would also like to thank Oochy for without him none of this would have come to be (thanks so much!) The other one I will thank personally. :p Yeah, I think that is it. Oh and to all of people who will read this, thanks for taking the time to read this.


    Author: Erisi (Allegra)

    Rating: PG-13

    Genre: Um...*looks the word up* Oh right :D I just leave it blank for reader torture! [face_devil] (yes I am evil)

    Disclaimer: Okay so all these characters do not belong to me except for Allegra, at the current moment. All the characters belong to whom they are named. Oh yeah, Luke belongs to GL. I am SO! not making any money off of this, unfortunatlly. :( *wry smile*

    Feedback: Nope :D

    Mark up codes: Italics = thoughts, <...> = Force


    "Till Death Do We Part"
    Chapter One
    By: Erisi


    A young Jedi Padawan walked into a dimly lit building deep within the capital planet of Coruscant. Drawing her cloak to the side, she revealed her silver, unique saber hilt. Allegra fearfully gripped it in her right hand, holding it close to her side. She closed her eyes, gathering her strength and the Force. When she felt the Force enter her, she began searching for a form of life.

    He was here. She hesitated then called into the darkness. ?Ma-? she stopped, he was no longer her master, he now rejected the Jedi, they were no longer important to him, ?Oochy?? She looked around cautiously.

    Oochy sat, waiting in the shadows for his former Padawan. He listened as her footsteps drew nearer to the corner where he sat. He closed his eyes as he heard her voice, she did not call him, ?Master.? as usual.

    <Do it! Kill her!> an evil voice called out to him through the Force.

    As Allegra drew closer Oochy grew tenser. He knew what he had to do and he was going to do it.

    ?Oochy please!? Allegra called out again. He couldn?t do it, he couldn?t kill her. He smirked evilly I'll send my clone. he thought to himself.

    Oochy looked at the activation pad on his wrist then quickly pushed the red button. He looked quickly as a cloaked figure entered from the other end of the building.

    Allegra turned as a snap-hiss alerted her to the dark presence behind her. She clutched the saber hilt tighter.

    ?Oochy.? She cleared her throat choking back tears. As she ran to the clone she clipped her saber back on her belt. She ran up to it and wrapped her arms around its neck, embracing it.

    ?It?s too late Allegra, you can?t bring me back to the lightside of the Force. You must leave and let me live the way of darkness.? He spoke as she stepped back.

    She shook her head in disbelief. ?No, Oochy please return to us, return to everything that is good. Come back to me, please, be the Jedi that every Jedi claims you are. Be the master that you are, that all the other padawans wish they had. Oochy--? Oochy interrupted her.

    ?I CAN?T! CAN?T YOU SEE? I AM TOO FAR INTO THE WAYS OF THE SITH! I HAVE ALL THE POWER THAT A JEDI COULD WANT.? His voice was now enraged. Oochy began to pace around Allegra as she took a defensive stance.

    ?You have the power of darkness, Oochy. A power that cannot be controlled at times, a power that will eventually destroy you. Not just you but the people that you love.? She quoted the renowned words of Master Skywalker.

    The clone looked down, it was growing impatient, ?Allegra for the last time, I CAN?T!!? he shouted out. Allegra looked up and let out an inward sigh. She put out her small hand and laid it on the clone?s shoulder, stopping it?s incessant pacing. She looked into the kind hazel eyes of her former master, wishing something were different between them.

    ?I?m?sorry.? She said looking down, she took a deep breath as she ignited her saber and thrust it with all h
  2. Darth-Vassago Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 28, 2004
    star 5
    Good job, Allegra. I really enjoyed this and I think it is really well done. Keep up the good work.
  3. lord_yoda01 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2002
    star 5
    Nice Job Allegra....this was a good read...
    Tearjerker and action....my kind of writing ;) *two thumbs up*
  4. me_luky Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2003
    star 4
    Not that bad!

    yes I am evil: I loved that part! :p

    she ignited her saber and thrust it with all her might into the clone?s gut. The clone looked horror struck as he tried to speak. It was too late and the clone dropped to the cold stone floor, blood spilling out of the wound. :Well said. No offence Oochy.

    ?Maybe you are wrong, I am going to ask you the same question that you asked me, ?Do you have the heart to kill your padawan??? she asked.: Ouch!

    But over all, really good job!
  5. Tall_Corellian_Chick Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 29, 2003
    star 1
    o_O

    Jedi_Allegra that was really good!

    Come on people! She needs more readers!

    Bump up Bump up!!
  6. me_luky Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2003
    star 4
    UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP... Please :D
  7. Jedi_Allegra Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2003
    star 5
    Thanks Luky! *chuckles*

    Chapter two coming soon!
  8. Obi-Wan21 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2002
    star 4
    Really good JA. Excellent writing. I enjoyed it. Can't wait for Chapter 2.
  9. me_luky Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2003
    star 4
    HOW SOON???? Must read!
  10. Jedi_Caesar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 14, 2004
    star 4
    While I read this I just sat in the chair and enjoyed every single word of it.I personally love fanfic and the best thing about them is the way how authors detaily describe the scenes(like "the blood vanquished in the thick air"....and so on ).So this is one I enjoyed.

    I'd expect nothing more from My Master.!
    Can't wait Chapter2.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.