JCC Time Travel Telephone.

I'd call Philip Wise right after he built this site and make him offer he couldn't refuse.
Then I'd rebrand the site into a shrine for Newton's second law.

 

I'd call the One True God, claiming that I'm him from the future, and tell him that no one will understand the brilliance of Ghost Rider for at least 15 years. By then, we'll have all of these MCU films, only blessed with His divine presence.

 

I'd call Lord Vader's Feline and we'd spend the whole fifteen minutes gushing about how sexy Darth Vader is.

 

You're welcome.

 

I would call the future and apologize for trainwrecking the environment. And to ask them if the robots had taken over yet.

 

I would call Queen Victoria and ask her if she's got Prince Albert in a can.

Edit: Then of course I'd ask her if Prince Albert's ever done her in the can. I imagine her mind would be blown by all of this.

 

She would not be amused.

 

I'd phone Alexander Bell and prank call him.

 

Can I text with someone for 15 minutes instead? No one calls anyone anymore.

 

I'd call my family on January 17th, 1994, around 4am... tell them there's a quake coming at 4:31am, so warn the neighbors.

 

Can I call Kate Beckinsale before she gets too old? That will probably be in the year 2525.

 

"Hey, Chevy! There is no chance in hell that you hosting a late night talk show could ever be awkward, contrived or unfunny. Take the job!"