Before "To Know The Road Ahead" ("Don't Let Me Fall" Sequel) Obi/Qui

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Shira_Adola, Nov 26, 2011.

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  1. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    Jade_eyes: quite different and apart from the common ysalamiri LOL
    I looked that up as soon as I saw it. Very interesting creature. I wonder how it repels the Force like that...[face_thinking]

    Angelnumber25: And I expect a daily update :p
    Daily, hm? Don't get your hopes up lol. At least I don't post once every six months like bek[/b]! *Searches for bek* hurry up! You can't leave me hanging like that!!!

    Tevase2: Merry Christmas, great chapter this one is, thanks for the hug [:D]
    Merry Christmas to you as well!

    Chilla: I hope Obi won't be broken
    *shrugs* We'll have to wait and see [face_devil]
  2. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    Note 1: The 'Qui-Gon' scene is dedicated to Jade_eyes because she wanted something with Qui and Tahl in my last story, but I couldn't fit it in

    Note 2: My PM list includes
    Gkilkenny
    Jade_eyes
    Valairy_Scot
    Angelnumber25
    Chilla
    Tevase2

    Am I missing anyone?











    Chapter 9: ?A world of your own, hollow inside.? (Josh Groban, Machine)

    ?I have already told you that the longer you resist my ministrations, the longer you will be here!? Djara said frustratedly.

    ?How much longer will it take?? Qui-Gon demanded.

    ?A few days if you behave.?

    ?Obi-Wan doesn?t have a few days!? the irate Master exclaimed.

    ?Well he certainly doesn?t have the weeks it will take if you don?t calm down!? Djara retorted.

    Qui-Gon glared up at the tall healer, then deflated against the sterile sleep couch he was currently inhabiting.

    ?Thank you.? Djara said. ?Now tell me what happened to your spine.?

    Qui-Gon frowned. ?What do you mean??

    ?You have a burn in the middle of your back above your spine. Your tests indicate that the nerves of your spinal cord are damaged. That?s why you were in so much pain when you tried to stand up.?

    Qui-Gon closed his eyes and wrapped the Force around him, willing the blocked memories of his capture to emerge.

    ?He had an electro-jabber.? he finally said. ?He was trying to make me open the Bond. And it worked.? he added bitterly.

    ?That would account for it.? Djara agreed. ?The current would have shot through your spine and into your brain. ?That also explains your memory loss and headache.?

    Headache is a bit of an understatement, Qui-Gon thought. He felt like a gundark had roosted in his head.

    ?I?m going to inject a stimulant into your spine to encourage tissue regeneration. It should only take few days, but it will require an enormous amount of energy so you need to rest. Perhaps you can try a healing trance to speed things along.?

    Qui-Gon forced himself to relax as the large needle depleted it?s contents into his spine. Whatever it was burned along his spine and he took several deep breaths before opening his eyes and nodding to Djara, who dimmed the lights and left the room.

    Qui-Gon leaned back and glanced at the chair by the end of the sleep couch. It was the chair that Obi-Wan would have been occupying had he been there. A single tear left a track on the lined face that had aged centuries in the span of a week. For the first time on a very long time, the famed Master had no idea what to do. He didn?t know where to look, other than ?not Gamtiaan?. He didn?t know what ship they were using, any connections Li?ohn, who they were traveling with...

    Another memory resurfaced. A small, cat-like boy with slitted green eyes and softly curling brown hair.

    Shilo. The Vraeling boy.

    A determined smile broke through Qui-Gon?s neutral features. It was a place to start. The boy had said he had been with Li?ohn for two years. He had to have relatives, neighbors, someone who knew what had happened.

    His thoughts were interrupted by the hiss of the door. Djara stuck her head in. ?There?s a visitor for you, Master Jinn, if you feel up to it.?

    Qui-Gon nodded. He could always send them away if he needed to. The Jedi walked in and he relaxed, smiling.

    ?Tahl.? he greeted, reaching out. The graceful woman took his outstretched hand and sat down by the bed.

    ?I thought that you wouldn?t be able to see me.? she admitted.

    ?I will always make time for you.? Qui-Gon promised gently. He stared into her beautiful sightless eyes, the striped irises still conveying so much emotion. In those eyes he saw worry, grief, compassion...

    ?You?re studying me again.? Tahl rebuked gently.

    ?I?m sorry.? Qui-Gon apologized. ?Sometimes I can?t help it.?

    Tahl smiled and leaned down to brush her lips against his before laying her head gently on Qui-Gon?s chest.

    ?I?m so sorry.? Tahl whispered. ?Is there anything I can do??

    ?Yes, actually.? Qui-Gon stated. ?I need all the information the Archives has on a planet called Vrael.?

    Tahl hadn?t moved, but Qui-Gon could tell she was absorbing everything he said. ?Do
  3. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    Isn't a kantrian a thing from doctor who, great chapter again, i was jumping with excitement when i found out you had posted another chapter :D
  4. Chilla Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    :_| Oh no, such terrible things Li'ohn is doing to Obi! I hope his friends will come and rescue him soon! It does comfort me slightly that all of his friends are getting ready for a rescue mission, not only Qui-Gon.

    But man, Li'ohn...he's terrible!

    Masterfully written chapter! =D=
  5. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    Grrrr...

    What does one do with one so clearly - crazy? Pity him? Put him out of other's misery like a rabid dog? Obviously the man is not mentally in his right mind.
  6. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    Thanks ever so Shira for the summary @};- and for the Tahl/Qui-Gon scene - warm and empathic and quite wonderful. [face_dancing]

    Hugs!

    P.S. I agree with Garen's sentiments - completely :p

    And the whole idea of Force-blindness :eek: :eek: -- sounds way too permanent [face_worried] :(

  7. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Obi-Wan is in deep trouble and he will get hurt more I sense it. Maybe he should keep his sarcastic thoughts to himself and Li'ohn will go easier on him. Pretend Obi, you can do it!

    Happy new year to you [:D]
  8. obimom Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    Ok, I've found your sequel finally. Looking forward to reading it when I have a little more time. I have several stories I'm trying to keep up with as well as my own story I'm posting, so please bear with me if I"m a little slow in responding, but I will respond. This looks really good, I'm looking forward to it. :)
  9. Angelnumber25 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2009
    star 1
    Apparently I can't respond to PMs because of my lack of regular posts...lol. But please continue to include me on the PM list, and hey, where's my daily update? :)
  10. obimom Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    Ooops...somehow I started this in the middle instead of the beginning. HOw did that happen, I thought I was at the start.
  11. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    Tevase2: Isn't a kantrian a thing from doctor who
    Oh great. Yes, it is. I don?t even watch the old show, just the new one DX. I also found out that Vrael is a dragon in ?Inheritence.? *Facepalm* Is there no originality left in the world?

    Chilla: It does comfort me slightly that all of his friends are getting ready for a rescue mission, not only Qui-Gon.
    Only slightly? :p No one would let Qui go by himself.

    Valairy_Scot: What does one do with one so clearly - crazy? Pity him? Put him out of other's misery like a rabid dog? Obviously the man is not mentally in his right mind.
    No. No he is not. And he?s so terribly fun to write [face_devil-

    Jade_eyes: Thanks ever so Shira for the summary @};- and for the Tahl/Qui-Gon scene - warm and empathic and quite wonderful.
    It was actually a lot more fun to write than I thought it would be.

    Gkilkenny: Maybe he should keep his sarcastic thoughts to himself and Li'ohn will go easier on him. Pretend Obi, you can do it!
    Bahahahaha! My Obi?s too snarky :p Maybe he?ll keep it too himself from now on, though I wouldn?t count on it ;)

    Angelnumber25: Apparently I can't respond to PMs because of my lack of regular posts...lol. But please continue to include me on the PM list, and hey, where's my daily update? :)
    Hey, if you want to do me a favor and kill Darth RL, the world, especially me, will thank you and I?ll give you daily updates as a reward ;)

    obimom: Ok, I've found your sequel finally...please bear with me if I"m a little slow in responding
    No worries. I knew you?d show up sometime :)
  12. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    I gave you guys a nice long chapter because, unfortunately, this is the extent so far. Everything up to here was pre-written and just had to be typed up. Now I've run out of it, and they have to be thought up, written and typed. :_|


    Chapter 10: ?And I?m afraid I won?t get out alive.? (Animal, Neon Trees)

    Obi-Wan sat against the wall, breathing deeply in an attempt to calm his labored gasping. He had been here a week, and in that time he had withstood four sessions with Li?ohn. No permanent damage had been done. The most serious injuries were the charred and bloody burn on his left bicep, and the deep cuts on his stomach, both if which were becoming infected and both of which were being tended by Shilo.

    Obi-Wan flinched as the boy pulled off another chunk of blackened skin from his brand. Shilo wiped it with a bacta pad he had withdrawn from the new med-kit by his side. The small Vraeling had told Obi-Wan in his halting Basic that Li?ohn had given him a basic supply of medical utilities after Obi-Wan had been unable to even lift his branded arm by himself. The kit had the generic supplies; bacta, gauze, antiseptics, bandages. Everything but painkillers.

    The young man endured another half an hour. Shilo wrapped his arm in bacta soaked gauze, and told him to lie back. A thin sheen of sweat appeared on the young Jedi?s body. He had been dreading this part. His burn he could deal with. Many of the nerve ends in that area had been cauterized. Because of that, the wound was much less painful that it should have been. His stomach, however, had no such luck. Shilo had stitched the cuts up as soon as he had been thrown back in his cell, but they had become infected, adding to the agony every movement forced him to experience.

    Obi-Wan groaned as his skin stretched around the wound. Most of the healing and cleaning consisted of pressing the wounds in an attempt to release the trapped fluid. Strangled cries escaped his throat as the Vraeling pressed on his cuts. Obi-Wan turned his head and saw the shadow of a figure from underneath the door. His eyes narrowed in fury. He was listening, reveling in every cry that emerged from his broken body.

    With enormous effort, he cut himself off, his moans turning to hitched, labored breaths. When it became too much to bear, he hit his head on the floor, repeatedly, in an attempt to distract himself. The pressure on his stomach vanished and he felt his head being forced to the floor. He opened his eyes and met the furious slits of the Vraeling?s eyes.

    ?No!? Shilo said fiercely. ?No. You hurt bad. Not hurt yourself too!?

    Obi-Wan took a deep shuddering breath. ?I?m sorry.? he breathed. ?I?m sorry, but Force, Shilo! It hurts so much.?

    Shilo?s eyes softened and he released Obi-Wan?s head. ?Done soon.? he said. Obi-Wan nodded and closed his eyes. As promised, Shilo finished ten minutes later, and Obi-Wan forced his trembling body against the wall. He looked at Shilo who shrugged apologetically. ?No more cloth.? he said, referring to the gauze. He did rub bacta along the cuts, causing Obi-Wan to hiss and flinch before the cool sensation of healing overcame him.

    With the initial pain temporarily gone, Obi-Wan once again became aware of his aching muscles and his pounding head. The aches had started yesterday, and had gotten progressively worse. He shivered despite - or maybe because of - the sweat that coated his body. He hugged his torso and hunched over himself wishing desperately for the tunics he hadn?t been allowed to keep.

    His stomach churned and he leaned over quickly, retching. He wiped his mouth, but nothing had come up; a few protein pellets a day didn?t leave much in the stomach.d

    Shilo hurried over to him. ?Ben?? he asked, concerned. ?You sick??

    ?I don?t know.? Obi-Wan groaned, leaning back against the wall. The Vraeling gingerly tucked himself in the crook of the Jedi?s right arm and laid on his ward?s outstretched legs. Obi-Wan ran his hand absentmindedly through the boy?s hair, just as Qui-Gon had done countless times before. The Padawan swallowed and p
  13. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    So are we getting closer to: 1. Obi-Wan's rescue or 2. Obi-Wan's successful escape & reunion with Qui-Gon?

    I love your OCs - they "breathe" like real people.
  14. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Obi-Wan knows where they are
    ?You?ve seen a glimpse of the planetscape and you know that we?re three days from Gamtiaan by hyperspace.?
    Now he has to get the collar off and send a message to his master.
    Shilo is sweet and I want him to escape too.
  15. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    I know this is late but happy new year, excellent chapter today and don't worry about not posting in a while :D
  16. obimom Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    Ok, I've caught up now, and now have to get to work, but I must say...

    I'm amazed at your writing, it's so vivid and real. Your descriptions say so much in less words while I struggle to create an exceptable description often using a lot of words to get across what I want.

    I know better than to compare myself to others, but wow...you, Val, and other great writers on here serve to remind me how much I have to learn about writing.

    And Ack! What Obi-Wan is going through!! I hope Qui-gon is able to get to him soon...before Obi-Wan is beyond help.

    [face_worried]

    Wonderful story, wonderful chapter. Looking forward to more!!
  17. Chilla Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    Why am I thinking about Liam Neeson, Qui-Gon's actor, and the Silmarin language from Lord of the Rings/Silmarillion? ;)

    Ahh, don't worry about not having notes! I rarely have any and if I do, I usually end up ignoring them anyways. XD

    Your writing really is wonderful and vivid. Great scene and the planet seems beautiful. Great dialog with Elaine, too.

    Hoping for more update soon!
  18. EGKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 3
    Excellent fic, and very well written. You do paint very vivid scenes.

    Could I be added to the PM list for this one?

    Many thanks

    EG
  19. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    Excellent detailing of the Vrael =D= and Qui-Gon's emotions. Yes, I am :) :) that Qui-Gon's not able to willing to minimize his caring for Obi-Wan. :D



    [face_laugh] yes a rescue or an escape or both would be nice next [face_batting]

    Hope the news they're about to get is encouraging on the rescue front.

  20. JediKaren Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2007
    star 3
    No update yet? awww. I totally love this story. You need to write more stories!
  21. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    Alright people, I swear I'm working on this. That chapter, for some reason, is taking me a while to write. I am, however, almost done. Expect it within a week. If I'm not done by then, feel free to yell at me.

    Also welcome to my new readers ^^. I'll respond to all comments in the next chapter.
  22. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot: I love your OCs - they "breathe" like real people.
    Why thank you. I?ve gotten rather attached to them ;)

    Gkilkenny: Now he has to get the collar off and send a message to his master. Shilo is sweet and I want him to escape too.
    The collar is the least of his problems, I think.

    Tevase2: I know this is late but happy new year, excellent chapter today and don't worry about not posting in a while :D

    obimom: I'm amazed at your writing, it's so vivid and real. Your descriptions say so much in less words while I struggle to create an exceptable description often using a lot of words to get across what I want. I know better than to compare myself to others, but wow...you, Val, and other great writers on here serve to remind me how much I have to learn about writing.
    My goodness you?re a flatterer [face_blush] But much thanks. I enjoy your stories as well @};-

    Chilla: Why am I thinking about Liam Neeson, Qui-Gon's actor, and the Silmarin language from Lord of the Rings/Silmarillion? ;)
    Lol I have no idea. When you find out you can inform me lol. Btw, new song for you. It?s called ?Someone that I Used To Know.? by Walk Off The Earth. You have to watch the video as well.

    EGKenobi: Could I be added to the PM list for this one?
    Of course, and welcome!

    Jade_eyes: Yes, I am :) :) that Qui-Gon's not able to willing to minimize his caring for Obi-Wan. :D
    He wouldn?t be the Qui-Gon we all know and love if he wasn?t [face_love]

    JediKaren: No update yet? awww. I totally love this story. You need to write more stories!
    [face_blush] All this praise will go to my head if you guys aren?t careful XD. Much thanks. This is actually a sequel if you?re interested in the first one. Link?s in my bio.
  23. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    OK! Sorry for taking so long. I fear I may become like bek in the fact that my updates are so long to post *tragic gasp* *NOOOOOOO!!!*

    *clears throat* Right. PM list is as follows:

    Valairy_Scot
    Gkilkenny
    Tevase2
    obimom
    Chilla
    EGKenobi
    Jade_eye
    JediKaren
    Angelnumber25

    Anyone else? Or anyone want off?



    Chapter 11: ?All is lost again, but I?m not giving in.? (Breaking Benjamin, I Will Not Bow)

    Hold on, Obi-Wan. I?m coming.

    Qui-Gon repeated this in his head over and over, directing the mantra towards the direction that he knew the hidden Bond lay. He leaned back and focused on the events of the past few days.

    The Broma had informed them that the boy Shilo had been identified, and a few days later, the Jedi met with Shilo?s parents and older sister. With Liam translating, Qui=Gon told them what had transpired during his captivity, and that the boy was alive and well. With his promise to free the boy, along with his own Padawan, the family had been willing to help in ever way possible. The daughter, Rhia, had been the one to see everything that had transpired. With permission, Qui-Gon had entered her mind and viewed the events of the day Shilo had been kidnapped two years ago. He then transmitted the image of the ship Li?ohn had used, and his more recent picture of Shilo to Liam?s mind. He set the Vraeling Knight, who happened to be a very adept artist in his spare time, to drawing views of the child and the ship. He already had holos of Obi-Wan and Li?ohn.

    ?Qui-Gon?? Sarra?s soft voice broke through the Master?s revery.

    He turned and smiled gently at her. ?Hello little one.?

    Sarra blushed at his old nickname for her. She restlessly shifted her weight around, looking sideways at her old Master. Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. ?Is there something you wish to ask me, Sarra??

    The Knight blushed again and sat down across from Qui-Gon. ?Look, this going to be a really sensitive topic. It?s...about your Padawan.?

    Qui-Gon?s face remained neutral. ?What about Obi-Wan??

    ?It?s just...be wary of him, okay??

    Confusion creased the Master?s brow. ?I don?t understand.?

    Sarra sighed. ?I?ll be blunt, but you won?t like it.?

    ?My dear, I have always taught you to speak your mind. Now what do you want to tell me??

    Sarra hesitated, taking one of Qui-Gon?s large hands in both of her small ones.

    ?Master, there is darkness in that boy.?

    A look of stunned surprise crossed his features before resuming his stoic mask. ?What makes you say that??

    ?On our way to get you, he was asleep, and he had some sort of dream, and Master, the sheer force of the hate and rage in him - ?

    Qui-Gon sighed, cutting her off. ?I know what you are talking about.? He leaned back and stroked his beard. ?Close to a year ago, Obi-Wan began having a recurring dream. He won?t tell me what happens, but it?s obvious that it frightens and disturbs him.? He paused, reflecting on his memories. ?The dream took over his life for a short while. When it became too much, I urged him to at least speak to Yoda about it if he wouldn?t talk to me. He believes, as Yoda does, I think, that it is a vision of the future.?

    Sarra made a skeptical noise and Qui-Gon smiled.

    ?Vision or no, I think you underestimate Obi-Wan?s connection to the Unifying Force. It?s at least as strong as my connection to the Living Force. Tell me Sarra, have you Force-scanned him??

    ?Yes, when we met in the Temple. He is such a bright light in the Force! And that?s why I?m so confused!?

    Qui-Gon took Sarra?s hands. ?Do you remember our mission to Dantooine when you were sixteen??

    Sarra shifted uncomfortably. ?Not one of our happier ones.?

    ?No.? Qui-Gon agreed. ?Do you remember what I told you when your friend T?rel bombed the ambassador?s suite??

    A look of sorrow crossed Sarra?s face. ?You said that no one is purely Light or Dark, that each of us has a bit of both. You even said that Master Yoda has some Darkness in him, which I find just as hard to believe now as it was when I was sixteen.? she said ruefully.

    The elder Jedi smiled. ?Exactly. None of us is perfect. Adding to th
  24. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    He he - first! Now to go read the update so I can rave intelligently. ;)

    :eek: Oh, okay, I'm not raving, I'm :_| . That chapter hurt!
  25. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    Awesomely gripping emotions. =D= =D=

    I liked Sarra with Qui-Gon @};- and applaud Bennett's idea and thinking, although I agree with Qui's intense desire for ... justice

    [:D]

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