Before "To Know The Road Ahead" ("Don't Let Me Fall" Sequel) Obi/Qui

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Shira_Adola, Nov 26, 2011.

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  1. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    Ive got tears in my eyes :_| But it was a brilliant chapter =D= just brilliant. sorry it took me while to post a comment but i just started year 9 and i was freaking out about it but its not actually that bad.

  2. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    :_| Poor Obi-Wan!! Yet he still has fight in him.

    But hanging is too good for that monster. :mad:

    Me - flatterer? [face_blush] If I am, I don't mean to be. I just get overcome by awesome writing and sometimes gush about it. Ask Val..she should be used to me by now...:p
  3. EGKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 3
    A huge can of whoopass for mr bad guy I reckon!!

    Great writing, very chilling chapter.
  4. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    [face_laugh]

    Yeah, but some flattery is earned, such as that given to Shira. I just bribe - hey, if it works...[face_whistling]
  5. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    You write a very convincing mad scientist kind of guy.[face_skull]
    An evil and deadly former Jedi who deserves all that Qui-Gon may do to him, but Bennett is right. Obi-Wan wouldn?t want his master to do that and lower him self to Li'ohn's level.

    Leave Li?ohn to Bennett I?m sure he will put him where he should be.:D
  6. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot: He he - first! Now to go read the update so I can rave intelligently. ;) I just bribe - hey, if it works... [face_whistling]
    Oh you raved lol. And posted two minutes after I did. That takes talent. And who cared if you bribe as long as you get compliments lol.

    Jade_eyes: I liked Sarra with Qui-Gon @};- and applaud Bennett's idea and thinking, although I agree with Qui's intense desire for ... justice
    I like Sarra too, but not as much as the others. And I love how ?justice? was bolded so dramatically XD.

    Tevase2: sorry it took me while to post a comment but i just started year 9 and i was freaking out about it but its not actually that bad.
    Year 9? As in a freshman in high school? I dunno what that means lol. And don?t worry about time. It really doesn?t matter.

    obimom: Me - flatterer? [face_blush]
    Is it flattery to call someone a flatterer? [face_thinking]

    EGKenobi: A huge can of whoopass for mr bad guy I reckon!!
    Perhaps. Will you kill me if he gets away clean?

    Gkilkenny: Leave Li?ohn to Bennett I?m sure he will put him where he should be. :D
    Oh yes lol. He?ll gladly take the blame for any *ahem* injuries that occur prior to his trial. And I love that skull 8D
  7. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    Ok, I figuered I should tell you guys that Obi will be rescued soon. However, if you think that's the end of this story, you're sadly mistaken XD



    Chapter 12: ?How do you get up from an all time low?? (All Time Low, The Wanted)

    Obi-Wan woke up with a gasp as cold water was dumped over his head. He jerked a bit and it took him a few minutes to realize that he was still chained to the ceiling. Apparently his session wasn?t over.

    ?I told you to stay awake. I can?t have you falling asleep.?

    Obi-Wan bit back a hysterical laugh. Asleep? Of course he had fallen asleep! It wasn?t at all feasible that he had just blacked out from an overload of pain!

    Snap out of it Kenobi! he told himself sternly. You can?t afford to lose it now.

    Then why am I talking to myself?

    His thoughts were interrupted as the thin leather cord found his back again.

    ?Tell me again what happened.? Li?ohn said circling around his captive. ?Just so I?m sure I understand you. You kind of...trailed off.?

    Obi-Wan swallowed. He knew what was about to happen and there wasn?t anything he could about it.

    ?We...we were ambushed.? Obi-Wan winced at how hoarse his voice sounded. ?We had gotten separated from you and they surrounded us.? He paused. ?We were outnumbered. There were at least twenty of them, all firing at us at once, hidden in the buildings. I felt a warning form the Force, but...I wasn?t quick enough. I turned around but by the time I had reached him he...?

    ?He what, Kenobi?? Li?ohn asked dangerously.

    ?He was already dead.? He was already braced for the lash that whistled behind him.

    ?So. My Padawan died because you were too slow to reach him??

    ?No.? Obi-Wan rebuked softly. ?Your Padawan was still alive.?

    He heard incredulous laughter. ?You?? You are no more worthy to be a Jedi Padawan than a Sith is to be the Grandmaster.?

    ?I know.? Obi-Wan grated out hollowly.

    Sensing weakness, Li?ohn plowed ahead. ?You were always a hopeless student. Lazy. Worthless. Your control over the Force was - is - minimal at best, and your lightsaber skills are abhorrent. I was hoping,? he added, answering the boy?s unspoken question, ?That I could mold you into a decent Jedi. Dear Force, was I wrong.?

    Obi-Wan didn?t dare look up.

    ?The Force has forsaken you. Your Master has abandoned you. All you knew is at an end.?

    ?My Master is looking for me. He cares about me.? But he didn?t even convince himself.

    A look of mock surprise crossed Li?ohn?s face. ?Really? Where is he? Tell me, Kenobi.? He spoke the name with distaste. ?How long have you been here??

    Obi-Wan stayed silent. Three lashes bit into his back.

    ?I didn?t hear you.?

    More silence.

    Li?ohn ground his hand into Obi-Wan?s shredded skin, causing Obi-QWan to cry out, twisting himself in a vain attempt to escape the man?s iron grip.

    ?I asked you a question.? Li?ohn snarled. ?How long have you been here??

    ?Three and a half standard months!? Obi-Wan gasped.

    ?How many times have we moved??

    ?Seven!?

    ?How many sessions have you been through??

    ?Fifty-three!? Force, would he never let go? Li?ohn squeezed harder than released him, walking around to face his captive. He took the thin braid and fingered it. Obi-Wan froze, eyes carefully watching.

    ?How many times,? Li?ohn asked quietly. ?Has your Master tried to rescue you??

    Obi-Wan hesitated and yelped as his braid was yanked hard.

    ?Once!? he whimpered, hating himself for being so weak.

    ?When was that??

    ?Three months ago.?

    Li?ohn leaned in close. ?He?s not coming for you. He doesn?t care. He left you here with me.?

    Obi-Wan?s answer was slow to come and he hated himself even more for voicing what he knew.

    ?I know.?

    Li?ohn grinned triumphantly and re-adjusted the whip. Ten agonizing minutes later, Obi-Wan was released and dragged back to his cell.

    ?Clean him up.? he ordered Shilo after tossing him in and leaving.

    ?Ben?? the boy asked tentatively. Obi-Wan said nothing, pulling himself into a kneeling position, his shredded back offered up for treatment. Shilo hissed in sympathy. He poured some bacta
  8. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Are you planning on letting Obi-Wan expire from torture? If not, just have Qui-Gon rescue him already. [face_praying]

    [face_laugh] But seriously, I think you like torturing your readers, although your lovely prose takes away some of the sting.

    I wonder how long it'll take after his (eventual <glare>) rescue for someone to get Obi-Wan to release his guilt about thinking Qui-Gon has abandoned him. It's perfectly normal to feel abandoned, but we know Obi. Poor kid will be wracked with guilt and feeling unworthy of his training while putting on a brave front - i.e. other words:

    SEQUEL! [face_laugh]
  9. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    lol the thing about posting so early, val, is that you don't get to read my edits. go back and read it and maybe you'll be happy with me.
  10. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    :eek: Who said I was unhappy with you? I'm unhappy with Obi-Wan's predicament.

    I'm afraid I don't see anything different after a second rereading. It must be something subtle.


    ?My Master is looking for me. He cares about me.? But he didn?t
    even convince himself .


    ^ That's what tells me Obi-Wan has given up on Qui (understandably so; after 3.5 months of torture the mind is going to go that way).

    *I* know Qui-Gon is attempting everything he can think of to find Obi-Wan (and I love how he is forced to realize others care just as much). I'm not blaming Qui-Gon or anyone, really, for Obi-Wan's prolonged time in captivity.

    I just think Obi-Wan is going to pile on a heap of guilt for feeling abandoned. Probably Qui-Gon will have his share of guilt as well for taking so long.

    That has nothing to do with whether that guilt is warranted or not.
  11. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    lol look at the very beginning. something to do with obi being rescued soon? :p
  12. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Enjoyed very much the warm conversations between Bant and Tahl, Tahl and Qui, and Garen and Clee.

    There's such openness and caring among all concerned. @};-

    I also enjoy Val's comments. They're very insightful into the characters and often echo my own "guesses" [face_laugh] as to reactions of characters.

    Obi-Wan is like Luke in that way - i.e., taking on more guilt than he needs to :p and Qui is like no one else - he's his own category :rolleyes: - when he feels guilt, he shuts everyone out. [face_frustrated] Like a brick fortification with spikes on the top. :p

    If the next post is lost somewhere in the moving process, please let us know if there's another place we can go to read it LOL

    Hugs!!!!!!!



  13. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    :_| You've broken Obi-Wan!! Now Qui-Gon and everyone else will have not just physically, but an emotionally broken boy to fix.

    Oh, do please rescue him very soon...I don't think he can take any more...[face_worried]

    Loved the scene with Garen and Bant and their Master's, and with Qui and Tahl. =D=
  14. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Thank the Force you are going to rescue my poor Obi and I hope that devil Li'ohn doesn't survive the rescue... I know, I know I should not be wishing his death but what the heck, he is a nasty man and he deserves to die.

    Excellent post.=D=
  15. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    The chapter almost broke my heart, :_| well done, :D

    and yeah, year 9 is freshman year in america
  16. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot: I just think Obi-Wan is going to pile on a heap of guilt for feeling abandoned. Probably Qui-Gon will have his share of guilt as well for taking so long.
    Oh trust me. There?s a ton of angst coming up [face_devil]

    Jade_eyes: Qui is like no one else - he's his own category :rolleyes: - when he feels guilt, he shuts everyone out. [face_frustrated] Like a brick fortification with spikes on the top. :p
    Lol he?s so much fun to write when he?s upset :D. Not that I like to see him upset...[face_whistling]

    obimom: Loved the scene with Garen and Bant and their Master's, and with Qui and Tahl. =D=
    I love writing the different pairings. Usually when people write about certain characters, they don?t write about other characters as in depth as I?d like *shrugs*

    Gkilkenny: Thank the Force you are going to rescue my poor Obi and I hope that devil Li'ohn doesn't survive the rescue... I know, I know I should not be wishing his death but what the heck, he is a nasty man and he deserves to die.
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Who says you get to lay claim to Obi-Wan o_O

    Tevase2: The chapter almost broke my heart, :_| well done, :D
    and yeah, year 9 is freshman year in america
    *sigh* I remember freshman year. Junior year sucks. And is suppose it?s a good thing if I almost break your heart...?
  17. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    Chapter 13: ?We?re a broken people living under loaded gun.? (The Catalyst, Linkin Park)

    ?Get up!?

    Obi-Wan yelped as a steel-toed boot connected with his side, cracking his already fractured ribs. He squinted up to look at Li?ohn, who was standing over him with a hypo in his hand. He frowned, confused.

    ?But I just had my dose two days ago.?

    Suddenly he couldn?t breathe as the air was chased from his lungs from a savage kick to his chest.

    ?I?ve you about speaking out of turn.? Li?ohn stated calmly. ?Besides, this isn?t you medication. I picked this up from a drug dealer a few days ago. You see, I?ve gotten bored with our sessions and decided to get creative.? Li?ohn examined the ice-blue contents of the hypo. ?I don?t even think it will hurt all that much. Oh, don?t worry,? he added, seeing Obi-Wan?s confused look. ?It won?t be pleasant. But it?s what I?m planning with the drug in your system that you want to watch out for.?

    Li?ohn grabbed Obi-Wan?s braid and yanked it to the side and pressed the hypo into the young man?s exposed neck.

    ?I?ll be back in a bit, once the drug takes effect.? Then he was gone.

    Obi-Wan looked over at Shilo who shrugged, as bewildered as his charge.

    ?I wonder what he meant.? Obi-Wan mused.

    ?Don?t know.? Shilo responded. ?You should sleep.?

    Obi-Wan made a face. ?I?ve been sleeping for a week.? Which was practically true. He had spent the last week recovering from a savage beating that could have easily killed him had Shilo not intervened. He had spent most of the time asleep, waking only to eat and when Shilo needed to tend to his wounds.

    Instead, Obi-Wan studied his cell. It was rather large compared to most of his other cells, but he would rather be cramped and dry than in this large dame, cold cell.

    Obi-Wan had now been with Li?ohn for six months. They had moved twelve times and he had endured 112 grueling torture sessions.

    Today makes 113, he thought dully. He wasn?t sure how much longer he could last, especially if Li?ohn was getting ?creative?. If it hadn?t been for Shilo, he would have given up long ago, when he realized Qui-Gon wasn?t coming for him.

    Obi-Wan?s face hardened as he turned his thoughts away from his Master. Or former Master. He spent this free time, when he wasn't recovering or helping Shilo with his Basic, coming up with different revenge scenarios. He knew it wasn?t very Jedi-like, but then, he would never be a Jedi, would he?

    He shivered slightly. He wished he had been allowed to keep his tunic, even if it had been torn to shreds. He wrapped his arms around himself, careful of his torso, which was littered in large, nearly black bruises. Before long, he was shivering constantly.

    ?Ben?? Shilo asked frowning.

    ?I?m c-cold.? Obi-Wan muttered.

    ?It not be that cold.?

    Obi-Wan curled up tighter, releasing his breath in a low hiss. ?F-feels like H-Hoth.?

    ?What?s Hoth?? Shilo asked as he walked over to check on his companion.

    ?It?s a p-planet c-covered in ice.? Why was it so bloody cold? He couldn't help the low moan of relief as Shilo?s hands roamed over his arms.

    ?You?re r-really warm.? he explained as Shilo looked at him.

    ?Well, you really[i/] cold.?

    ?Really?? Sarcasm practically dripped from Obi-Wan. Shilo swatted him gently, then took a hand and started massaging it in an attempt to bring back some warmth.

    ?That won?t work.?

    Both boys jumped at Li?ohn?s voice.

    ?W-what d-did you d-do?? Obi-Wan demanded.

    ?I dropped your body temperature!? Li?ohn grinned. ?i?m glad it worked.? he added. ?The dealer I bought it off of hadn?t actually tested it out on anything except Kyuzos.? Obi-Wan stared at him as if he was insane. Which, in all probability, he was.

    ?Let?s go, then.? Li?ohn yanked on Obi-Wan?s braid again as the young man struggled to his feet. He was then dragged to the room the sessions were usually held in. But unlike normal convocations where he was chained to the ceiling, he was shoved down on to a metal rack and bound so tightly he could barely breath. Li?ohn crossed over to a table and began muttering to hims
  18. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    I've decided no one writes torture like you do - at least physical, and no, I am not about to try.

    You've got me wondering when Obi-Wan gets the Force back, if it'll help him believe in Qui-Gon again. That's really the only way to fairly quickly restore their relationship, because after all time and damage, Obi-Wan is *not* going to be quick to dismiss those feelings of abandonment. They are very real to him at this time.

    I wonder if Garen might have a hand in that.

  19. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    Very exciting , and YAY Obi-Wan is going to be rescued, but I couldn't help but think when Qui-Gon was hoping the recovery wouldn't be as bad as last time that ..No - it's going to be worse.

    Like Val, hopefully Obi's restoration of the force will help restore his faith in the Force and in Qui-Gon, because otherwise, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan will have a nearly impossible road to travel.

    I'm so glad he's about to be rescued...I don't think he can take anymore (and almost neither can I)...:p The mental abuse more than the physical has me worried though. Outer injuries can be healed, injuries of the mind and soul? - [face_worried]

  20. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    How can Obi-Wan keep going he must be at his wits end and if they don't hurry up and save him I'll have no fingernails left.[face_worried]
  21. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    This is going to sound so sappy, but im actually crying, in a good way. i think you've actually broken my heart in this.


    You are a brilliant writer [:D]
  22. EGKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 3
    Great chapter.

    Cue the charge of the Cavalry :)

    Could I stay on the PM list for this?
    thanks
    EG
  23. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot: I've decided no one writes torture like you do - at least physical, and no, I am not about to try.
    *blushes furiously* I?m not sure whether that?s a compliment or not, lol.

    obimom: hopefully Obi's restoration of the force will help restore his faith in the Force and in Qui-Gon, because otherwise, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan will have a nearly impossible road to travel.
    That?s assuming they?ll be able to take the collar off right away [face_devil]

    Gkilkenny: How can Obi-Wan keep going he must be at his wits end and if they don't hurry up and save him I'll have no fingernails left. [face_worried]
    Well, here?s something so that you can keep your fingernails :p

    Tevase2: This is going to sound so sappy, but im actually crying, in a good way. i think you've actually broken my heart in this.
    [face_shocked] Are you really? *fist pump* Sorry, but I think that made my day :D *hands Tevase a tissue*

    EGKenobi: Cue the charge of the Cavalry :)
    *sounds trumpet* Did I not PM you? Sorry, my mistake. [face_blush]
  24. Shira_Adola Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2011
    star 4
    I'm sorry I've been lazy DX. The truth is that I've had this chapter done for quite a while. I just didn't feel like posting it *cringes away from multitude of glares.*
    Believe it or not, this whole story came from this song, which is where I got the inspiration of Qui-Gon carrying Obi-Wan out of a building.

    ****************************************************

    Chapter 14: ?I?m so heavy, heavy in your arms.? (Heavy In Your Arms, Florence + The Machine)

    ?What?s wrong Kenobi? Are you tired already??

    Obi-Wan leaned against the wall, breathing hard, lightsaber blade dragging on the dirt floor. He couldn?t even muster enough energy to glare at his captor. He half-glanced at Shilo, who was crouched behind the table, green-slitted eyes wide in fear, his pointed ears flat against his skull.

    A lazy, but compact kick knocked Obi-an t the aground, and he narrowly missed falling on his own blade. A shallow slash of orange light flashed behind him and he was in agony, his bak on hire. In his desperation, he realized that the intensity was at a lethal level. With a certain amount of numb surprise, Obi-Wan realized that he was going to die today. Li?ohn was just toying with him. He closed his eyes and allowed himself a moment of self-pity before gingerly getting to his feet. He could at least go down fighting.

    Li?ohn flew at him, a flurry of strikes and stabs that Obi-Wan could barely deflect. He parried and twisted as fast as he could, but then Li?ohn kicked him off balance and slashed at his chest. Obi-Wan fell to his knees, curling in on himself to protect his chest from further pain.

    I can?t do this anymore! he thought wildly. They had already been at it for a half hour. It was longer, by far, than he had managed to last in the daily fights Li?ohn had insisted on. He stood up again. At least he would die with a ?saber in his hand

    _________________________

    ?That?s it?? Qui-Gon asked, nodding to the stone building.

    ?That?s what the scanner says.? Bennett replied, frowning at the device in his hand. ?There?s only two life signs.?

    ?Li?ohn and the Vraeling boy.? Nahl confirmed.

    Qui-Gon looked over at the small rescue party. Bant, Tahl and - after losing the heated argument with Clee - Garen were back on board the freighter, preparing the med-bay for their arrival. Bennett and Jenner would wait at the tree-line until one of the Jedi commed for them. Li?ohn would register their signatures if they came.

    Silently, the four Jedi nodded to each other, unclipped their lightsabers and moved forward. One look at the rusty doors told them that they wouldn?t get in the obvious way without losing the element of surprise. Fanning out, they walked around the decrepit building, seeking a quieter way in.

    Qui-Gon frowned. They couldn?t cut a hole without their ?sabers being heard. The windows were all intact and locked, and breaking them would definitely give them away. There were no ladders to the roof, and they couldn?t jump that high while they had these Sith-cursed collars on.

    Suddenly, he saw Liam round the corner and beckon to him. He followed the Knight around the side of the building to a pile of stones. As Liam began to remove them, Qui-Gon saw that there was a hole in the side of the wall, just big enough for a full grown man to squeeze through. Qui-Gon threw a grateful smile at Liam, who grinned back. Clapping a hand to the younger man?s shoulder, the Master went to find the other two Jedi.

    _________________________

    Obi-Wan?s rebelliousness left as soon as it had arrived. He laid on the ground with Li?ohn?s orange blade resting so close to his throat that he could feel the heat of the plasma. His own weapon had been kicked out of his hand and was laying twenty feet from his right hand. He stared up at Li?ohn with tired, dull grey eyes, his chest heaving with exertion and fatigue. Then Li?ohn pulled his blade away.

    ?Get up.?

    ?Why?? It was the first time in a long while that Obi-Wan had spoken out so boldly.

    Li?ohn froze, his expression growing dangerous. ?What did you say??

    ?You?re going to kill me anyways. Why shoul
  25. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Awesome post Shira! I am glad you were able to post it before the change over - which [face_laugh] I thought would've happened already - so I'm just gonna follow this grand riveting tale as if the move's gonna happen next year [face_laugh] - huh? [face_laugh]

    Love Tahl and Clee providing a calming influence. @};- So glad Bant and Garen are there!

    I don't want Darthy Li'ohn to get off that easily either, - old medieval slow Spanish Inquisition works for me just fine [face_thinking]

    Wow!!!!! Really and truly worried about the brainwashing thingy and the pain when using the Force :eek: :eek: --

    Eagerly awaiting more!!!!!

    [:D]

    Jade
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