To lose ones faith (JA/ Obi-torture,Qui-Angst, Dark Qui) Chapter 10 *Updated 11/22* Plus **Bonus**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by FELICIA_ZEZILI, Sep 23, 2001.

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  1. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    OKay I have an Idea for a fanfic but I wanted to see if anyone would be interested in reading it.

    Title:To lose ones faith
    Rating:pG or PG-13 Obi-Torture, Qui-angst, and Dark Qui
    time frame: Obi-Wan is 16
    Summary: Here is what I had in mind. It startes out post "Rebirth" and then flashes back to JA time period. A sith lord takes Obi-Wan trying to turn him to the dark side. Qui-Gon who is still suffering from the lose of Tahl is desperately searching for his padawan. I don't want to give to much away but I will say two things. Mental institution, and no one to trust.

    Quick note I don't normally write OT so if I mess up a character's peronality or somthing please don't be to harsh.

    So what do you say people Interested?
  2. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Sounds like an excellent story. Please begin soon.PEACE Ewen
  3. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    I think I'd be interested, but I'm not sure about the "spirit possession" part.
  4. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    SOUNS AWESOME :cool: but I'd have to side with jane jinn about the spirit thingie.

    But hey go ahead and post it, I'll read it! I LOVE Obi-torture! [face_devil]
  5. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    now that I think about it I'm using the spirit thing for something else anyway I'll probably post tommarow cause a friend is dealing with a crisis and I want to be there for her
  6. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    Hope your friend is OK :)

    Looking forward to a post!
  7. HotHoney22 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 1, 2001
    star 1
    Wait, so what is going on?
  8. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    All right here is the first post. enjoy!

    Disclaimer: I don't own obi-Wan, Qui-Gon or any other Star wars elements. I do own the characters Amaele Olvan, Drell Tre, Healer Laria, Master Veda and Darth DemoGorgon.

    Prologue

    The Plant Arnt, A small peaceful world located on the Outer Rim. Luke Skywalker watched as the ship drew closer and closer to the blue and green planet. The Errant Venture was stopping on Arnt to refuel and stock up on supplies. The planet was the perfect place too. It was far from Vong space and practically unknown by the rest of the galaxy.
    As Luke was staring out the veiw screen, deep in thought, his wife Mara came up beside him.
    "Hey." She said by way of greeting. "We just got a transmission from the planet. Their Leader Vidette said that she would like to meet us." Mara explained. Luke looked at her.
    "Why would she want to meet us?" He asked. Mara just shrugged. The two were silent for a moment. Then Luke broke the silence."Where is Ben?" Mara smiled.
    "Sleeping. It amazing he cries all through the night and sleeps so peacefully during the day." She said shaking her head. Luke couldn't help but give a small laugh.
    The ship landed in the Presidential Landing platform.
    "Well," Luke said. "shall we?" He offered her his arm. She accepted it and the two began to walk down the corridors to the exit ramp.
    To be continued...

    Sorry for such a short post. My Dad is bugging me to get off the computer. But I promise the next post will be longer and the Obi-torture will be coming soon but you must be patient.

  9. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Waiting for Obi and QGJ.Sorry,I just never read Luke stories,but your story seems to have a very good start.PEACE Ewen
  10. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    Its not a Luke story he's just in the prologue don't worry. Since I'm online again I'll post the next part.
    and Ginger Ninja my friend is doing much better!


  11. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    Mara and Luke walked down the corridors of the Errant Venture till they came to the exit ramp.

    They were not surprised to See Anakin and Tahiri there waiting.

    "Can we halp you two?"

    "We want to come along." Anakin stated. "We have been on this ship for a month and are bouncing off the walls." Luke nodded and smiled as Anakin and Tahiri looked at each other hopefully.

    "Fine but stay out of trouble." luke said. Anakin and Tahiri nodded vigurisly and the three exited the ship.

    They were now inside the office of Vidette President Of Arnt. They had been waiting for a good twenty minutes and even Luke was starting to lose his patients.

    The door to the office finally opened and two woman walked in. One of the woman who looked much younger then the other spoke.

    "Greetings I am Vidette President of Arnt. I welcome the Jedi to our world and let me express my deepest sorrow to all you have been through." She turned to the woman behind her. "May I present Amaele Olvan one of our most respected citizens." Amaele nodded to the four jedi. She looked to be in her 60's or 70's. Her hair mostly silver and dispite her age her green eyes held a glint of youth in them. She turned to Vidette.

    "Vidette dear are you done with the formalities?" She asked with a chuckle.

    "I guess I'm a little to used to haveing to talk in such a formal manner that I even do it in casual conversations." Vidette said. then she motioned to two couches in the middle of the room "please sit down." Vidette was about to speak again but a man came into the room. Vidette only looked at him for a second then started speacking to the other.

    As this was happening the man had kneeled down and whisperd somthing to Amaele. Anakin diverted his attention and glanced over at Amaele. A look of surprise came to her face.

    "Are you sure?" She asked him quietly, but not to quiet that it could not be heard by the jedi. The Man nodded then handed her an old leather bound journal. Amaele now had the biggest smile on her face.

    "I can't believe it." She murmured.Vidette looked over at her.

    "What is it?" She asked. Amaele looked up seeming to have forgotten anyone else was in the room.

    "My journal." She said in a whisper. "I started it when I was sixteen. I had taken it with me when we left. It was all I had left." She said a tear rolled down her cheek. All those horrible memories. She quickl wiped the tear away and looked up at the group feeling she neede to give an explanation.

    " I was a healer at the Jedi Temple. The day we left I was with Master Keating who worked in the creche. We took as many of the children as we could and brought them to this planet We put the children in foster homes that way if Vader came they would be harder to track down. I gave my journal to the oldest Mariam. I told her never to forget who she was." She grew silent as she opened the journal. " I never saw any of them again. Then a few years later Master Keating died." The smile then retured. "But now I got my Journal back and a message from Mariam.'I Never forgot'"

    Luke took all this in silence then spoke.

    "You were a Jedi?" He asked. Amaele nodded.

    "Almost all my life." As she flipped through the pages of ther journal A photo that was inbetween two pages slipped out and feel to the ground. Tahiri bent down and picked the photo up. It was of a young man abotu 16 or 17 leaning against a balcony railing looking out at the Coruscant sunset with a very somber look on his face.

    "Who is this? " Tahiri asked with innocent curiosity. Amaele took the photo and looked at it the smile once again vanishing.

    "This is Obi-Wan When he was 16. The photo was taken a few weeks after a very trying mission." Amaele said placing the photo back in the journal.

    "He looked so miserable." Tahiri said quietly.

    "You don't know the half of it." Amaele said sadly.

    "Tell us." Anakin requested.

    to be continued

    Allright thats the end of the prologue. Next is chapter one and all JA from there.










  12. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    That was great! *Sniff* That was so sad! Sheesh! What're you trying to do, make us cry? ;)

    More soon please! :D
  13. Kaylla_Norn_II Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 2
    post more you MUST! Right away!!!!
  14. Obi_Wanna_Cracker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 15, 2001
    Very nice. I think this might turn into one of my regular spots.I live for Obi-Torture..
    <evil laugh>
    Ahem...anyways..
  15. Knight_Obi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2001
    star 3
    Coooooolllll Felicia!!!

    I can't wait for more. WHy do I Have a bad feeling about this.....

    But looking forward to more !!!

    Knight_obi
  16. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    All right I'll give you guys what you want another post!

    Chapter 1


    It was the last class of the day and the minutes on the clock seemed to drag on.

    Galactic History had always been one of Obi-Wan Kenobi's favorite subjects, but the Master this year who taught it was so boring it was the same routine day after day. They would go over last nights homework. Then Master Hypnos would talk for about 20 minutes then they would start that nights homework. half the class would be asleep by the middle of the period.

    Obi-Wan sat in the second to last row. Behind him in the last row was Drell Tre. Who at the moment had his head down and was snoring quietly. Master Hypnos was now three quarters done his 20 minute speech and began to walk up and down the rows of seats.

    "In the Age of Galacyic Enlightenment many scholars wrote about natural freedoms that all beings have and that no government could take that from them.Can anyone name those freedoms?" He stopped at Drell's desk and slammed his hand down ard on the top of the desk. Drell awoke with a start. "Welcome back to the land of the living Mr. Tre would you mind to answer my question?" Drell rubbed his eyes.

    "Um...sure ah...what was the question?" Master hypnos began to walk back up to the front of the class.

    "Mr. Kenobi would you care to answer?" Obi-wan was silent for a moment.

    "Life, liberty and speech." Obi-wan said.

    "Correct. Now I want you to start your homework and study your notes cause I'm giving you a quiz tommarow." Almost everyone in the class groaned out loud. The bell rang and the students filed out of the room.

    Obi-Wan and Drell walked down the halls of the jedi temple passing Masters, Knights, and other padawans.

    "Force I hate that class!" Drell exclamed as they walked.

    "I'll admit the guy is able to put anyone in a 10 meter radious to sleep." Obi-Wan replied. They were about to turn the corner when that heard someone behind them call. They turned and saw Amaele coming towards them.

    "Hello boys." She said cheerfully.

    "Amaele! When did you get back?" Obi-Wan asked. Amaele went over and gave her two friends a hug.

    "Its so nice to see you guys!" She said. Amaele had been away the past 8 months on a mission to Vavara. The planet had been hit by a terrible plague and needed healers. Amaele's Master, Laria had volunteered to go and had taken Amaele with her. "You guys have so much to tell me I want to know everything that has happened!"

    "Well I'll leave that to drell cause I got to go." Obi-wan said.

    "What? I just got here you can't leave." Amaele stated.

    "What you want me to ask them to hold the mission off just so I can spend time with you?"

    "Yes." Amaele said. "Fine go! And don't come back!"

    "Hey watch what you say. Maybe one day I won't come back."

    "Just go Kenobi!" Amaele said with pretend hurt. Obi-wan smiled. She was always doing this.

    "All right I'll leave but before I do I want to tell you that I love you." he said.

    "Aww thats sweet." She said and obi-wan walked down the hall.

    "Hey Amaele I love you too." Drell said. She turned to him.

    "Shutup Drell."

    "Wait Obi says it and its sweet. I say it and you tell me to shutup?"

    "Drell yours isn't love its lust."

    "Is there a difference?"


    To be continued...

    All right that was a weird one wasn't it? Inspired by an actual day of school I had. well more to come and the next post will have Obi-torture !




  17. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    That was so funny! Drell is cool! :)

    More soon please! :D
  18. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Now we are getting there.Will be watching for another post!!!PEACE Ewen
  19. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    Glad to hear your friend is doing better :) But...how didja know I was Ginger Ninja? :eek: Are you a Jedi??? :D

    Cool posts! Can't believe I missed 'em! Keep it up Felicia!
  20. Knight_Obi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2001
    star 3
    I like it so far!! So Obi's off on a mission...hmm...I can sense danger yes?

    More Soon Please

    knight_obi
  21. Cow_Girl Chapter Rep Niagara ON, CA

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2001
    star 5
    Ohhh!
    I'm intrested already, Post soon please!
  22. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    Wow this is the most reviews I have ever gotten for a story! The reviews are what keep me going.


    Chapter 2

    The ship Outsider dropped out of hyperspace and began its decent to the planet Fabron's surface.The planet was populated with a species of alien known as Fabronians. they were humanoid with black skin and each Fabronian had hair that was the shade of the diferent colors of the rainbow. The jedi had been called on to help establish the new Government on the plant.

    For years Fabron had been ruled by a Monarchy that gave privilges to the nobles and other high class citizens. While the common people had the weight odf taxes and hard labor. The unease of the people caused a revolution and the Monarchy was over thrown and the planet was temporarily being controlled by the parliment.

    As Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan decended the exit ramp, they were met by an assistant to the parliment.

    They were led to a meeting room where the 7 head members of the Fabron parliment sat. A male Fabronian stood as the Jedi entered.

    "Master Jedi I am grateful that you and your apprentice could come all the way down here but I must confess that I am sort of confussed as to why you are here." the man said. "none of the members of parliment called for Jedi help." Qui-Gon was taken back by this.

    "The Jedi council recieved a message from the Fabron Parliment." Qui-Gon stated. A woman with ice blue hair spoke up.

    "It is true that we are having a few problems but nothing we can not handle." She said. Something wasn't right here Qui-Gon could feel it.

    "The Jedi are welcome to stay until their ship returns." The same man spoke. " I am Evzen I will show you where you can stay." Evzen walked to the door and motioned for the Jedi to follow him.

    As the three walked down the hall Qui-Gon made sure that Evzen was a few passes in front of them. then began to talk quietly to Obi-Wan.

    "Be wary Padawan I sense I disturbance in the force." he said in a low tone.

    "Yes Master." Obi-Wan said. He could feel it too. It was only a hint of something. Not far but not close either.

    Evzen showed them to their rooms and then left saying that he had important matters to attend to. Qui-Gon turned to his padawan.

    "Get some sleep Obi-Wan. I'll see you in the morning." He said. It was late in the evening and Qui-Gon could see his apprentice was tired. After 9 hours on a star ship even a Jedi could experience a little jet lag. Obi-Wan nodded.

    "Night Master." he said with a yawn and began to walk into his room. He didn't bother to turn on the light he just wanted to sleep...

    And thats when he felt it a distubance in the force it was close this time. he turned in time to see the blade of a ruby red lightsabe come to life. He imediatly went for his own lightsaber and brought it up to counter the mysterious attackers move.

    The attacker came at Obi-Wan with another series of move which Obi-Wan countered without fault. The attacker's blade was locked with Obi-Wan's and he was trying to push obi-Wan to the ground so he could have the atvantage and his plan was working,until obi-Wan turned out of the lock. The attackers blade cut into obi-Wan's arm. The clenched his teeth. the buring white pain that shot threw his arm was incredible. The attacker saw Obi-Wan was distracted and kicked Obi-Wan's feet out from under him. Obi-Wan hit the ground and slammed the back of his head hard on the wooden floor. The Last thing he remembered before blacking out was the dark figuer of the attacker standing over him.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    Qui-Gon was in his own room when he felt the disturbance in the force and then a sharp pain shot threw his arm. One name came...

    "Obi-Wan." he muttered under his breath. He imediatly rushed out of the room his lightsaber already in his hand.

    When he entered Obi-Wan's room it was pitch black with only a small amount of light coming from the moonlight in the window. Qui-Gon turned the lights on and saw that Obi-Wan was nowhere to be seen. he walked furth
  23. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Whoa! That was great!

    Can't wait for more! :D
  24. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    YEEES!!!Obi torture.Will be watching for more.PEACE Ewen
  25. Kaylla_Norn_II Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 2
    a few days?! but I want another one now!!!! <sigh>
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